Resolution
by Ezri Krios
Summary: Thane Krios unexpectedly survives the Reaper war and reunites with some old squad mates. All accept his Siha. If she isn't dead, it is feared she must be in great jeopardy. Despite the team's desire to locate Shepard, they first must find out if the war is really over.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter one.**

_Invisible Friends._

He sat by the window, an unapproachably morose figure, unmoving, enjoying the utter stillness. A casual observer may envy his peace, not privy to the constant turmoil inside. Only the white flash of the drell's inner eyelids across his large black orbs gave an indication he was not a strange emerald statue.

Thane blinked his outer eyelids and looked around the patient lounge of Huerta Memorial Hospital, feeling like a voyeur now that the large space was filled with more cots than chairs. Such was the number of civilian refugees who flooded in after an explosion shook the Citadel, adding yet more patients to a hospital already overfull with the war injured.

The Citadel didn't lay in ruins as badly as when Saren and his Geth had attacked, or when Cerberus had attempted to take the vast space station by force. The huge explosion up in the central ring had ripped a quarter of it open, large pieces toppling down with such force they ripped through wards and apartments as millions of tiny projectiles tore through flesh.

Thane slowly turned his head to look out of the huge window, not at the simulated blue sky filled with white puffy clouds, but at the planet they now orbited. Like everyone else he was still trying to get used to the sight of Earth after the Reapers had moved the Citadel. But the initial horror, fear and confusion among the Citadels population had quickly turned to joy as news spread of the war's end. Those who could, celebrated, others simply waited, like Thane.

The drell thrummed his unhappiness deep inside his chest, a sound which would have been audible only to another drell. Turning his eyes away from the view of

the planet above and the beautiful gardens, now scarred with debris below. He searched the room without really seeing anything. He wasn't 'people watching' the Commander had called it.

_Red hair shimmers fire. Yet its soft cool touch through my fingers makes me…_

Thane forced the memory away with more success than his fears. It had only been two days since the war came to an abrupt end and he had no way to tell if she had read his letter yet, if she even knew he was alive. Or even if she still lived. This thought pained him deeply. To have discovered himself blessed with more time in the world, only to have to spend his days visiting her grave... Perhaps that was a punishment from the Gods he might understand, in time. But to have broken his final promise, to not be waiting for her across the sea…

Thane reached for a memory of Kolyat.

"_Father?" He whispers, his face a blur. I want to reach out but I no longer have a body. 'Why are you here?' I must ask, but no longer have a voice._

"_Rest father," he tells me. The rest of his words lost to darkness._

Though it had been a great relief to discover Kolyat had not crossed the sea, Thane had not known how to deal with the revelation that he himself had somehow been snatched from the shores of his passing, to wake in the same bed he thought he had died in.

"I... put your name on the transplant list." Kolyat had nervously confessed.

Though he spoke his careful words as the adult Thane had come to know, Kolyat looked so much like the little boy chastised for doing something he knew was wrong. His explanation had been brief but thorough and Thane would be sure to give the Commander of C-Sec his thanks. Though for himself or just on his sons behalf, he wasn't yet sure.

"I'm sorry father," his eyes were so like Irika's, "for taking you away from your journey across the sea."

Thane smiled weakly "I doubt you will believe I was in no hurry. Only my body…"

Kolyat cut him off, "I'm not sorry for... trying for more time... with you."

It hadn't been an accusation, but Thanes heart stung none the less. Why would Kolyat give this gift to such an underserving drell so long absent in his life? He was full of gratitude for his son's actions, of course. Still, he wondered, why this strange twist of fate? Yet another, among so many, in the past couple of years.

For so long he had lived his life in a battle-sleep, stalking victims, studying them, learning their routines, until he was sure they were bad people. Then the silent kills, the credits he would collect, the next job.

He had taken many bad things out of this world. Kolyat was the only good thing he had added to it. But his son had been lost to him. Until Thane had been awoken by a warrior-angel. By then he had long accepted his impending death. At the end he had never wanted to _live so much!_

"What of the war?" He had asked the young drell, his voice a whisper after so many weeks of unuse. 'What of Shepard?' Had been the unspoken question.

Thane blinked, letting his recollections go for now as the lift doors opened to a small group of humans, none of them with red hair. An asari counselor smiled as she passed by, Thane barely returning the gesture as he turned back to his thoughts.

Something stopped him, disturbed him enough to snap his full attention to the patient lounge. No longer an impassive 'people watcher' Thane was now the tool of his training, an assassin, alert to his surroundings. His muscles, still weakened by his months of recovery, tensed. Nothing had changed around him, there was no danger he could perceive. But something was, odd…

He tasted the change in the air. A new scent yet surprisingly familiar. The drell understood seconds before the disembodied voice floated its surprise down to him.

"Thane Krios?"

He found the almost imperceptible telltale shimmer in the air and watched as the master thief de-cloaked. "I thought you had died!" Said Kasumi Goto, shock in her usually playful tone.

"I had," he stood to greet the human, "that is to say, I thought I had. Ms. Goto, it's a nice surprise to see you."

"Ditto!" She smiled, eyes shining from beneath her hood, "and I'm shocked to see the news of your death was greatly exaggerated. But I'm very pleased."

"Mark Twain." Thane smiled, remembering this was one of Kasumi's favorite ancient earth poets as he motioned for her to join him.

"Sort of," Kasumi shrugged as she sat, bringing her knees up under her chin.

Thane had not expected to make any friends among the crew of the Normandy. Indeed some had not approved of his presence on the team at all. This had not concerned him. Instead he simply anticipated a good death in battle during their suicidal run at the Collector base, rather than a slow death choking in a hospital bed. Of course his Siha had changed this attitude towards his life and death, so very much.

He had bonded with Kasumi partly over a shared understanding of loss and the need to remember those loved ones no longer alive. Without the drell ability to recollect everything perfectly, he could understand why Kasumi wanted to keep the Grey Box Keiji had left to her. Also she, like Thane, was a master of battlefield stealth, a skill neither of them felt Shepard's gung ho attitude, as Kasumi had described it, was ever likely to give way to. If diplomacy wasn't an option Commander Shepard would charge in, guns and biotics blazing. Thane had adapted faster to their leaders style, to fight more fluidly at her side than Kasumi, who preferred to cloak and circle around behind the enemy. Twice she had suddenly appeared in his scope, killing Thane's target with a biotic punch to the spine before the drell could shoot.

He had to ask, "Have you heard from Shepard?"

"Three days ago, just a quick chat after she got to Earth. Mordin and I were working on the Crucible project. You know about that right? I see it's all over the news." She grinned.

"She was on Earth?" Thane's eyes snapped to the planet outside. So close! This revelation, both terrifying for what his warrior angel must have faced and uplifting to discover Siha was not stranded beyond the broken Mass Effect Relays. It brought a crushing disappointment as well. Three days ago, the same day he had finally sent his message. Likely too late.

_Gods!_

Thane had agonized over the words for far too long, not realizing how close the war was to its end. After too many weeks already gone to surgeries and long sleeps, Thane found himself unable to suddenly announce 'I am alive' to someone who's heart he had watched silently break. Saying her final goodbye to him as he lay on his deathbed. It was a memory he refused to even contemplate. So how could he selfishly distract her from the war she was desperately fighting on behalf of so many? Bringing even more chaos into her life on the eve of the greatest battle for survival the Galaxy had ever seen.

If Thane felt he could have been any use to his Siha he would have taken his gun case and marched out of the hospital, tracked down the Normandy and told her in person. Alas he was not fit enough then to have been anything but a burden to her. Plus there was Kolyat. How could he leave his son, yet again, for another mission he may never return from?

Thane needed to tell her, warn her, he could not fulfill his promise. That instead he would be awaiting her not across the sea, but in the usual place, where she had visited him as often as she could during the war and where he now held vigil.

If she had gone across the sea, only to find herself alone… It broke his heart.

"Do you think she lived?" Thane was almost afraid of the direct answer he knew Kasumi would give.

"It's Shep!" She looked at the drell pointedly. "Being dead for two years didn't slow her down, I'm sure the Reapers didn't either."

Thane nodded, clinging to the humans hope as he barely acknowledged his own.

"So what gives Thane?" Kasumi asked, eager to have her curiosity sated over his continuing existence.

Thane sat forward, arching his broad snake like torso to place his elbows on his knees and cup his hands together. "You recall my trepidations over Kolyat's desires to allow me into his life again, during those weeks after Shepard had, reunited us?"

"Of course," Kasumi nodded.

"He had been... so angry. At first, I often feared he wouldn't reply to my messages, or see me when the Normandy docked at the Citadel."

"But he always did!" She smiled.

"Yes. In fact, Kolyat was doing much more on my behalf than I realized. He forged my signature onto the lung transplant list."

Kasumi sat forwards, hands on her knees. "He _hacked_ into your _medical_ records? Wow!" She was clearly impressed.

"He had help." Thane admitted. "He, ah, was found out."

"Oh?"

"It was just days after Shepard had told him I had Kepral's Syndrome and probably only had months left, a year at best. Kolyat thought his new found access to C-Sec could get him into my medical files. But he set off alarms and was swiftly discovered. However, upon his immediate confession and explanation why he had nearly started a minor diplomatic incident between the hanar and C-Sec, er, someone put him in touch with an expert hacker."

"Oh, he should have come to me!" Kasumi smirked, "and, someone..? Bailey right?"

Thane didn't need to confirm this so he continued, "Perhaps I should have known something was going on, when Kolyat questioned me over my refusal to place my name on the transplant list. I told him I had been in battle-sleep and now faced a regret I couldn't have foreseen. But even at that point there were still others more deserving than I and I did not wish to risk clinging to life on a machine, in the hope new lungs would not be wasted on a body too ravaged with Kepral's to appreciate them. Kolyat simply told me he understood and kept his silence. Perhaps if I had known him better…"

Thane shrugged, again looking around the patient lounge without really seeing anything. If need be he could review his memory later. "So I... said my goodbyes and awoke in my deathbed to memories perfectly recalled but utterly confusing. Memories of those times I had briefly woken between operations to remove lesions from inside my body, caused by my disease, or to repair the damaged organs. I believe Kolyat had all but given up hope by the time he was able to make medical decisions for me."

"You did want to live, didn't you?"

"Oh, I did!" Thane said firmly. "By then, yes, I had much to live for. But I, I had perhaps sunk back into a different kind of battle-sleep after Shepard was arrested. I didn't know if I would ever see her again and Kolyat, my time with him had already been such a blessing. He seemed, at peace with my inevitable crossing. I had no desire to put him through a potentially false hope."

Kasumi's tight smile gave away the sympathetic emotions she felt and she nodded. As if in understanding or for Thane to go on he didn't know, but he continued. "The doctors had warned Kolyat it may still be too late. That it was probably hopeless even if new lungs did become available. And with the war, well, transporting them was likely to be an issue anyway. But he had my body placed on life support and sustained me with his own blood, donating as often as the doctors would allow. Trying to give back to me what had been taken in my fight with, Kai Lang." Thane rumbled the name, his face darkening.

"Oh yes, I'd heard about that." Kasumi nodded. "You know he's dead now, right?"

"Kai Lang?"

The little oriental grinned. "Yes, Shep got him."

"She... did?" A slow smile spread across his lips.

"I believe Garrus was there and James Vega, you know him?"

"Only by name. Shepard thought him a good soldier."

"I've never met him, either," she waved a hand, "anyway, go on."

Pushing away his desire to know more about the death of Kai Lang, Kasumi was bound to know the details, Thane sat up, hands on his thighs. "Well, my body, heeled." It still surprised him. "It took my body time to accept the new lungs and with much to repair I hovered in limbo for many weeks. They couldn't know if my brain had been damaged, if the Kepral's had been curbed in time. So Kolyat endured a long wait to find out not only if my body would survive, but if I was still, intact."

"Well you seem pretty intact to me," Kasumi offered playfully. Her omni-tool buzzed and after she sent a quick message she turned back to Thane. "So, your cured?"

The drell considered his words, "No, there is no cure for Kepral's. But with much of the damage removed from my body and the current therapy I am on, I am likely to die of old age before the disease can advance to the point of becoming debilitating again."

"Even in a human environment?"

"I will of course try to avoid the most humid of environments, as do all drells. But my form of Kepral's is very slow. After they discharge me I will continue with the drug therapy and be monitored regularly. I can reasonably expect to live a long life, especially with the new advances against this disease being made by the hanar."

"Wow. I suppose you don't have to worry if Kolyat wants you around or not anymore, eh?"

Thane smiled. "So what about you, Kasumi? Quite some success with the Crucible. It ended the war?"

"Oh, yes. But I'll let Mordin tell you all about that. He's on his way here, now." She grinned.

"He is?"

"We'll be on the Citadel until we're called back to the science teams. There's some big plans to fix the relays, should be exciting."

"I hope it proves successful," Thane offered. Standing to stretch he turned to look at Earth, wondering how he might secure passage there and if the Gods would help lead him to his Siha. As he looked down upon a Keeper working at its station far below, impervious to the devastation around it, he remembered:

_She looks down. A playful smile. "They look like grasshoppers from here." I turn to ask 'grasshoppers?' But her eyes still me, the weight of the sadness they carry. The weight of my illness as heavy on her heart as in my lungs. I am shamed by the pain I cause her._

Turning his back to the window and on this memory Thane asked, "So what brings you to the hospital Kasumi?"

"Oh, I was just looking around the Citadel. Y'know, visiting a few old haunts to see who might be around, and I found you!"

"Thane Krios!" Exclaimed the staccato voice of Mordin Solus as he scuttled out of the lift and moved towards them, lifting his arms wide.

For one horrifying moment Thane thought the professor might hug him and a sudden memory gripped him.

_I explain the drell ability of perfect memory recall. The touch of her hand on my arm sends shivers across my scales. A teasing laugh. "Ok how about this for an image to remember?" A wide grin pulls at the small scar on her chin. "Mordin naked!" _

"_I'd, rather not." I say, my words tight as I fail to fully comprehend human humor, playing along I say, "However, now it's there, the image will remain forever with me. Thank you Shepard."_

_She laughs into my shoulder._

Thane smiled widely at this recollection as Mordin dropped his arms. Inwardly the drell was grimacing, though only at a suggestion, not an actual memory of a naked salarian. In truth Thane didn't know what salarians looked like without their clothes on and it was knowledge he could live without.

Mordin took in a deep breath through his nostrils as he appraised Thane. "Skin tone, good. Posture, relaxed. Crest, healthy. Breathing… excellent!" The Salarian pulled his thin lips up into a curved smile. "Good to see you."

"I am pleased to see you, too, are well professor." Thane offered, trying not to remember Mordin advising him on human/drell sexual positions.

"Indeed. Crucible, success! Still not entirely sure how. Will need study." Mordin bobbed his head up and down in a nod.

Thane settled next to Kasumi again while the professor paced for a while, telling them about his work on the weapon which would become the Reapers downfall. Its difficulties, its breakthroughs. The awful wait at the end when it didn't seem to work, the relief when it suddenly and violently sprang to life and the subsequent celebration among all the science teams at their success.

"Reapers, dead!" Morden finished in his matter of fact tone, clearly delighted.

"The galaxy thanks you," Thane offered with sincerity as the Salarian pulled up a chair to huddle conspiratorially with his companions.

"Just us?" Mordin asked. "Not seen Shepard yet?"

"No," Kasumi shook her head, "I expect she is still on Earth. Getting between there and the Citadel is hell right now with so many people trying to travel. It's priority only."

Thane was about to suggest Shepard would probably be considered priority if she were to seek passage to the Citadel, but Mordin stunned him with his next words.

"Shepard, not on Earth. No, believe she is, here. On the Citadel."

"Mordin?" Kasumi tilted her head. "Are you sure?"

The salarian nodded and Thane wondered if they could hear his hammering heart. "Where?" He demanded.

"Unsure." Mordin frowned. "Just before the Crucible came on line, heard Shepard's voice. Nothing more to do you see. Had to wait, did all we could."

Thane allowed Mordin to twitter on for a short time but his patience quickly failed him and he cut the Salarian off with a deep rumbled, "You have news of Shepard, professor?"

"Yes Mordin." Kasumi agreed. "Get to the good bit!"

"Good bit? Ah, yes." Mordin took in one of his slow dramatic breaths and only by sheer willpower did Thane not reach out to grab the salarian by his one remaining cranial horn to shake him. Be it due to the humans encouraging stare or the drells murderous glare, Morden took the hint and continued, announcing brightly, "Heard Shepard's voice! Listened to comm chatter. Wasn't very clear, words difficult to make out but, her last known whereabouts, Citadel! Anderson also."

Thane could hardly breathe as Mordin explained why it was believed Admiral Anderson and Shepard had made it to the Citadel to open the arms of the space station so the Crucible could dock, shortly before it finally burst into life and cut all comms.

"But, where are they? Gods, the explosion! Perhaps she has been, injured?"

Kasumi shook her head, "I can't see it. If anything like that had happened Hackett would already know and what Hackett knows," she grinned, "I know."

"Hackett is updating you?" Thane asked.

"In a roundabout way," Kasumi smirked with a shrug, alluding to her hacking skills. "Believe me, as soon as there's news on Shep, he'll tell us himself."

Thane rumbled, "I do not know him. We shook hands briefly once, on the Normandy, but we did not speak."

"Oh, he knows you Thane," Kasumi assured. "You don't survive a suicide mission and stop the Collectors from abducting human colonists without getting noticed by Alliance brass. They wouldn't have employed a little oriental with a penchant for kleptomania to work on such a sensitive project like the Crucible if it hadn't been for my time with Shep now would they?"

"True." Mordin nodded.

"We need to find her." Thane quietly insisted, his fear and confusion at war with the hope growing inside of him.

Mordin sucked in another slow deep breath.

_Mess hall. Crockery, food and boisterous conversation passed around. My senses overwhelmed, I crave the quiet solitude of life support, but wish to fulfill her desire to become part of the team. Her shoulder presses against mine as she shouts across the table, "Hey Mordin!" Trying to catch the salarian's attention as he speaks with Tali and Samara._

_I inwardly wince at the sharp tone of Jack yelling "Fuck off, Joker!" Garrus and Zaeed loudly compete over who is the better shot. Kasumi throws a sympathetic look at Grunt who complains about the food to no one in particular. Miranda watches quietly, a faraway smile on her lips. Mordin chatters on between slow ponderous breaths. _

"_Hey Mordin!"_

_He smiles at the Commander whose laughing voice hushes the din briefly. "Are you by any chance related to the volus?" A tide of laughter to Mordin's blank stare._

"Yes." Mordin agreed. "Would like to see Shepard, again."

Despite the circumstances Thane had to fight against the small smile at his memory.

Kasumi sighed. "Not an awful lot we can do right now. Half the comms are down, getting in touch with anyone is going to be difficult for a while."

His mirth gone, Thane balled his fists in frustration.

"Well," Mordin offered looking around. "Best place to wait. Er, assuming you and Shepard are still, ah...?"

"Together?" Asked Thane.

The salarian nodded, enthusiastically. Mordin had observed the developing relationship between Thane and their Commander almost before the drell himself had fully realized his feelings towards her. Then the professor had promptly taken all the romance out of it by insisting Thane read up on drell/human intimate relations. It had been an uncomfortable conversation, at least for Thane. He didn't find the subject taboo or embarrassing, he simply had no idea if Shepard even felt anything for him and, as a dying man, Thane had no intention of trying to find out.

Even now the drell's crest flushed at the memory, the small ridges on his cheeks and throat warming slightly. Not that he could fault Mordin for his skills of observation, especially as he didn't come out of his lab that often. Ultimately Thane had been pleased to discover his budding friendship with the human female had so much more potential.

_Softly trembling hands, so small and pale in mine. Warm on my cheek. Her thumb gently brushes away my tears, my, shame. Her strength fills me. Her touch calms me. Her words move me. "Be alive with me tonight."'_

Forcing the memory away with a rumble of pain inaudible to his companions ears, Thane admitted to Mordin why it was unlikely Shepard even knew he was alive, finishing with an angry, "I could have written sooner. I should have."

The professor was nodding. "But, understandable." He stated.

Thane felt a sudden need to be alone. The shocking news his old teammates had brought and with it a confusion of hope, frustration and despair, on top of the constant memories he struggled to keep at bay, gave him a deep need for solitude. Some peace to review his latest memories and perhaps come up with a solution to finding his Siha.

He stood abruptly, forcing Kasumi to look up in surprise and Mordin to look behind him to see what may have stirred Thane so suddenly. "My apologies Professor, Kasumi," Thane said calmly. "Kolyat will be downstairs to visit my room soon. Could we meet again in the morning?"

"I'll be early," Promised Kasumi with a smile as she jumped up, "and listen, don't worry about Shep. I know it's hard, but I'm sure we'll hear from her soon."

Mordin was also on his feet. "Agreed."

Thane nodded, offered them a smile of gratitude and left them with his partial truth. Kolyat would visit, but not until later, after finishing his shift at C-Sec. Thane had plenty of time to order his thoughts. But first he would give himself over to the few comforting, precious memories he had made of his time with Siha.

The irony of finding himself so alive yet faced with the devastating possibility she may be dead was unbearable. But the witty observationalist and the brilliant scientist had given Thane some hope to cling to. Siha was so much closer than he had dared imagine. With the Normandy reported as missing on the Alliance News Network he felt fated to a long vigil before any information might be forthcoming. Now with Siha being on Earth, or perhaps even closer still, right here on the Citadel… What did it mean?

As Thane made his way down to his room the constant confusion of emotions warred in his soul. He retreated, already filtering through his most cherished memories. He already knew which one he would begin with. As always, the first.

It was to have been his last job. He was to take one more bad thing from this world. Then he fully expected to be gunned down by Nassana's guards in his attempt to escape Dantius Towers. It would be an acceptable death.

He heard the sounds of gunfire behind him. Had Nassana's thugs found the salarian workers he had locked in a room before pushing on? The assassin wanted to get to his target as quickly as possible, but he also needed to know if he had failed those innocent salarians. Swiftly, Thane returned to the building's ventilation ducts, dropping silently into a crouch onto some temporary scaffolding.

He observed a trio of people below, hacking the door of the salarian refuge and trained the sight of his rifle on the head of the human female in the center. Clearly they weren't Nassana's mercs and Thane trusted his instincts. He waited with his finger tightly curled around the rifles trigger, even as the door whipped open and the three newcomers trained their weapons on the terrified workers inside.

They were a strange trio. A small human female, almost hairless and whose only body covering from the waist up consisted of little more than tattoos, and a turian in military issue armor which had seen better days. Both deferred to the human whose modified N7 armor was as red as her hair and, she was asking about an assassin?

That was... unexpected. Were they here to kill him? Thane didn't suspect the paranoid Nassana Dantius, a cruel, twisted, evil asari who's paranoia over believing one of her sisters would attempt to kill her made her cloister herself among a small army of mercs, knew of his presence. Though he had plenty of enemies to choose from, it wasn't possible any of them knew his whereabouts. The only person who did was Seryna who helped him reach the towers and aside from being trustworthy, there wasn't time for her to warn anyone who could have sent people here so quickly. But clearly, someone was looking for him.

Watching through his scope Thane was pleased to note the salarians being allowed to go on their way unharmed. He relaxed his trigger finger as one of them said, "Thank you, and tell your assassin to aim for her head, 'cos she doesn't have a heart!"

Whoever this group was they had dispatched Nassana's Eclipse Mercs and given the innocents a clear path of escape.

The red head turned around to watch the salarians leave.

_Gods! It can't be?_

What would Alliance star Commander Shepard have been doing for the last two years so secret they had to declare their first human Spectre dead? And how was her reason for coming out of such deep cover connected to him?

Perhaps there would be an opportunity to find out before he killed her? Thane dismissed that thought immediately, what was he thinking? He would simply let the commander kill him, at least die tonight by an honorable hand. Assuming his death was on her mind. She had taken down a lot of mercs to get this far, only to end his insignificant existence? This made no sense.

Thane frowned as Shepard hit the call button by the lift. There was a reason he avoided the lifts and stairwells. Did she not realize it was a perfect site for an ambush? She did, of course she did. Moving into cover, the team dispatched a volley of biotics and weapons fire so powerful only the krogan made it a few steps out of the lift before falling on his hump.

Impressive. Not the way he would have done it, but still.

Thane waited until they dragged the bodies out of the way and entered the lift. As soon as the doors closed he sprang up, back into the ducts, leaving Shepard and her team to their comfortable ascent.

Intrigued as he was by this unexpected twist, Thane realized he needed to get to Nassana's penthouse before they did. At least they would provide a welcome diversion by keeping the Eclipse thugs busy so he could finish this job.

He saw them again on the bridge between the two towers, exposed by a dangerous wind and facing several mercs, plus the security turrets. The three were pushing forward much faster than he anticipated. By the time Thane reached the junction that would take him right over the suite of Nassana Dantius,

Shepard had already arrived.

"Shepard," he heard Nassana remark, "but, your dead!"

"I got better."

_Gods! Nearly out of time!_

Thane chose speed over stealth, only pausing above Nassana's thugs for the second it took to note their positions and only one of the guards appeared to have heard his approach. It seemed to have simply unnerved her.

He dropped with no sound, noted the surprise on Shepard's face, stepped up behind a guard, snapped his neck, his gun taken and used to kill his colleague before his body even hit the floor. Thane's fluid, graceful violence continued as he stepped to Nassana, his hand cupped behind her neck, a final shot. He dropped the gun to lower her gently onto her back, his cheek against hers as her life left her body. Thane placed her hands together before stepping back.

It was done.

The assassin brought his hands together in prayer, for the soul of Nassana Dantius and for his own. Then he waited.

It was the turian who spoke first, "Impressive. You certainly know how to make an entrance."

For all the blood she had spilled on her journey to meet him, the Commander's words were surprisingly tentative and Thane found himself revealing more about his personal situation during that brief conversation than he would have intended.

They shook hands, a very human gesture that did not normally come naturally to him.

Thane followed Jack, Garrus and Commander Shepard back to the Normandy, wondering why the Gods had guided him successfully through his last job, only to bring him a new employer. One who was as intriguing as her promise of a suicide mission.

"Any news on the Normandy yet?" Admiral Steven Hackett snapped more than he intended. He had been operating on nothing but the newly developed non-addictive stims and copious amounts of coffee instead of sleep for too many days.

He received a shake of an operatives head from across his war room. Well that was something. The SR2 hadn't been found among the billion pieces of debris floating thickly around planet Earth, which the science ships had begun sweeping just hours after the epic space battle had ended, not yet anyway.

The war room had been a calmly frenzied hub of efficiency when the Reapers had been their biggest threat. Now it was a chaotic mess of stressed personnel surrounded by busy terminals and pads of lists. Lists for everything. Medical supplies, transport, rescue sites, burial sites, accommodation for the displaced and those now trapped in the Sol system, food and clean water, lists of the surviving ships, the damaged, the lost and the ever growing lists of missing civilians, troops MIA, the wounded, the dead, it went on and on.

Then there was the urgency over repairing the mass relay, possibly all of them, to try and re-connect the galaxy and get people home, those who still had homes left to return to. As well as confirm all the reapers in the other systems were also dead. One war had ended and without pause another had begun. This was the truth of victory.

Hackett sighed wearily, looking out across space at the Citadel, dwarfed by the planet below. Like Earth the space station had been scarred, but still teemed with life. He wanted to ask if there had been any word on Commander Shepard or Admiral Anderson, but he didn't have the energy to repeat the same futile question, yet again. The same question many people had contacted him to ask over the last couple of days.

Only one name of Shepard's team had come up so far. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. He had personally transferred the quarian's name from the list of MIA to that of the confirmed dead and contacted what was left of the Migrant Fleet just a few hours ago. The Admiral hadn't really known Tali but Shepard had considered her a fine soldier and good friend, an asset to the Normandy crew. The Commander had always been fiercely protective of her people, despite her willingness to throw them into suicidal danger. Or lead them into actual suicide missions, only to bring them all back out again. Against the odds, that was Shepard. She went up against the odds and beat them every time. Hackett could only hope this time would be no different.

He had always admired the woman, as an exceptional soldier and later as an excellent Commander. He wasn't surprised when she became the first human Spectre, only to be swiftly thrown into command of the Normandy the same day. The much respected Captain Anderson stepped aside so she could go after the rogue Spectre, Saren. That must have been tough, for both of them. Anderson had a soft spot for his old XO and the more Hackett came into contact with Shepard the more he could see why.

"Admiral?" The operative had seemingly snuck up on him, startling Hackett. Not that he showed his surprise as he calmly turned towards the young woman. He knew the news was bad by her ashen face as she handed over a pad. "Commander Bailey from Citadel C-Sec asked you be informed straight away, sir."

After Hackett read the brief message he wanted to throw the pad across the war room. Instead he sighed deeply and plodded back to his office to contact Kahlee Sanders in person.

A gasp. A painful breath. An eye opened, the other forced closed by swollen trauma. She looked into darkness ringed with grey, feeling nothing, hearing nothing.

_Am I looking up?_

Her first thought was almost too complex to fathom its meaning.

Suddenly the void was filled with agony. Deep explosions of pain ripped up her arm, across her shoulders, down her back. Another gasp brought more pain, this time across her chest. It felt like she was being crushed.

_Don't puke, you'll choke._

Instinct stopped her from trying to move her left hand and her agonized breaths subsided into slow gurgles.

_Hell my breathing sounds worse than Thane's did right at the end._

She remembered something else bad. Something vague, some connection with death. Someone else's death. Someone else she loved. Who..?

Then it hit her and the low keening sound of grief was barely audible. She remembered the charge to the conduit. Harbinger carving up everything and everyone as Earth seemed to explode around them. How Garrus had been lifted off his feet, then thrown to the ground in a crushing blow, sprawling into a crumpled heap. She wanted to go to him but the world went dark and then there was no time. No time!

_No tears dammit. Can't waste the fluid._

She was so thirsty.

Gritting her teeth against the pain she moved the fingers of her right hand. Her heart hammering in her chest brought a dim awareness something was very wrong in there. It felt like she was impaled on something, as if a red hot husk spike had been forced into her back, all the way through her ribcage and out the other side. Ignoring this for now, she lifted her hand at the wrist, her heavy arm at the elbow. It was like trying to move through dense treacle. But she could move this arm at least, its leaden ache bearable.

She dragged her eye down slowly, then her head. Sharp tendrils of pain shot down across her neck and down into her torso, but she forced her chin towards her chest. Only able to lift her head for a second, but it was enough to see the legs she couldn't feel.

Victory turned to frustration when she found herself barely able to haul her hand onto her stomach. Her right leg, moved, but it produced pinpricks of sweat across her brow at the sudden nauseating pain in her knee. She would have screamed if she'd had the voice. She tried to dig her heel into the floor and roll onto her left side. Desperate to bring her omni-tool closer to her left hand, she pushed harder. But the white hot knives in her chest forced her to give up, the air in her lungs seemingly squeezed out of her and she couldn't take in another breath.

She fell onto her back again, her momentary terror stilled by a short rattling gasp. Mercifully she passed out, her hand sliding off her body with a flop.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two.**

_Don't Eat the Quads._

A soft chime woke Thane who immediately checked his omni-tool to see he had no messages and it was the early hours of the morning.

"A moment please," he said, pulling on a black tunic and trousers as quickly as his hammering heart. He forced himself not to hope too much his Siha had finally returned as he padded barefoot to the door.

"Well fuck me!" exclaimed the woman loud enough to wake the ward. "That C-Sec officer really wasn't pulling my chain. Hell, you're alive!" Jack came into the room to deliver her customary punch to the arm in greeting, lighter than Thane remembered. "I just got through C-Sec; heard about the transplant. Nice one!"

She had hair now, in a ponytail and more clothing than the last time he had seen her. He immediately suspected the changes to this human went beyond her physical appearance.

"Thank you," Thane smiled, his demeanour calm in contrast with the human's fidgeting and his own inner turmoil. He was truly delighted to see another of his ex-crewmates had outlived the war.

Jack had mostly kept to herself in the bowels of the Normandy's engineering deck. Jack had been difficult to get to know. Not that Thane had tried after their second encounter once the Normandy had left Ilium. Curious he had explored the ship alone and ascended the stairs in engineering to find Jack sitting on her bunk surrounded by pads.

"Hey!_" Snarling, feral. "What the fuck do you want? This is _my _place and I don't like visitors so fuck off!" I leave. I don't think I want to know this wild creature. Volatile and likely to be violent. I don't believe snapping that small neck is quite what the Commander had in mind when she suggested I get to know the crew._

Of course that had been before they had gone to Pragia, so Jack could blow up the Teltin Facility, her Cerberus prison where she had been psychologically and physically tortured throughout much of her formative years. Thane had left that place feeling physically sick and was glad to see the largely abandoned facility blown sky high.

"I'm pleased to see you Jack," he told her sincerely.

"Cool. So any news on anyone else?"

The question came as a blow to Thane, clearly Jack wouldn't be leading him to his Siha. But he told her about Kasumi and Mordin.

"Oh, right, yeah," she said, "I knew the tea-leaf and the nutty professor were working on something big."

Thane didn't know why Jack compared Kasumi to a tea leaf but recalled hearing Zaeed use the same phrase a couple of times back on the Normandy. The drell would have asked her, if he hadn't suddenly realised how exhausted his visitor looked. "Gods, have you just returned from Earth?"

Jack looked at him like he was stupid so he explained, "I thought perhaps the Normandy had returned."

She shrugged, scowling and though Jack bounded to the chair he offered, when she sat her body sagged into it, all the energy she had left seemed to flow out of her heavily inked pours. She asked about Shepard and Thane told her of the speculation over their ex Commanders whereabouts. Aside from a couple of expletives Jack said nothing and after a pause he asked about her.

Jack told him about meeting Shepard again at Grissom Academy where she was teaching biotics for the System Alliance.

"It was great, 'til Cerberus showed up," she glowered, but the shadow over her face swiftly passed and she laughed, "Course I reckon they didn't figure on Shepard showing up to pull our asses out of the shit. Station gets overrun with those fuckers and who shows up but Shepard, Garrus and this big tank of a bloke. We fought together, got all my kids out. Not that it matters much now, most of 'em are dead back on Earth. Stupid bastards," she shrugged but was clearly upset. "Shepard fixed it so they could stay back as support, but the front line came to us before it was all over. I think Samara's dead to. She's listed as MIA but I saw her pushing a barrier, like we did on that Collector base remember? Oh, yeah, course. Anyway, she was pushing against a load of them Asari freaks, Banshees, or whatever they were called. Oh you didn't see them, big ugly fuckers, nasty, and that was just the damn screaming racket they made. Fuck, they made you want to kill them just to shut them up! Anyway Samara got a bunch of troops through but went down. By the time I got closer the place was swarming with the screamers and Brutes, too. Oh man, it was fucked up!"

Thane's scales had grown icy cold at Jacks description of what they battled on Earth. She seemed a little shell-shocked and spoke more words to him now than what she had said collectively during all those months they served together on the Normandy, clearly in need of talking about her experiences. For the first time Thane saw in Jack what Shepard must have seen all along, a vulnerable, young woman. What he wouldn't give for a chance to tell Siha she had been right all along about this noisy, angry, criminal.

Thane sat on his bed, legs crossed, his back against the wall, as conversation quickly turned back to Shepard. Jack told him she had only seen her ex- Commander a couple of times during the war.

"I tell you what," she grinned, "that woman can do almost anything, but hell if she isn't a lousy dancer. There was this asari next to us, nice mover, takes one look at Shepard and leaves to dance with some people right on the other side of the floor." Jack laughed slapping her leg. "Last time I hit the dance floor with her, that's for sure!"

"She… danced?" Thane smiled. If his death had taken her heart, it hadn't taken her spirit. That was a great comfort.

_Tears stream from hollow eyes. Her heart a rapid beat next to mine, misery radiates from her body. She tries to be strong for both of us, but finally confesses she doesn't want to lose me. It was to be the last time we could lay together. Gods, how my heart hurts for her._

At some point, over the hours they spoke, Jack had joined him on the bed, back against the wall, legs crossed, mirroring the drell.

"She talked about you, y'know? Jack said in a tone softer than Thane would have believed she possessed. But her voice hardened again when she said, "Shepard told me how much she loved sticking it to that Kai Lang Cerberus bastard!" She spat. "Shit, where is she, Thane?"

"Believe me Jack, I wish I knew," he confessed sadly.

They fell into a relaxed silence for a while until Thane turned to suggest they join forces to resolve this mystery. But Jack had fallen asleep, arms folded, chin on her chest. Thane covered her with his blanket. Shepard's blanket. The one he had rescued from her cabin along with a few other trinkets which meant something to her, while the Commander was being arrested. After finding him at the hospital months later she had told him to keep the items safe for the time being and obviously didn't, or couldn't, return for them after his death.

Leaving Jack to rest, Thane slipped on his boots and left his room just as the rest of the ward was beginning to wake up. It occurred to him the young biotic hadn't sought him out just because of their connection through Shepard, but because she had nowhere else to go and was perhaps no longer quite the loner Thane remembered from their time together on the Normandy. Plus, with parts of the Citadel in chaos, many soldiers returning from Earth had to fend for themselves. What a terrible demoralisation it must be, to return from war only to find more destruction and chaos.

Jack, of all people, to find himself reminiscing with. Is this what the end of war brings, the unlikeliest of people together? No, Thane dismissed with a small smile, that's what his Siha had done and she would not have wanted them to come together in despair and melancholy memories. The war is over, yet none of those who saved us all are rejoicing. Thane realised the quiet pain of surviving he carried was no different than the pain of victory so many now shared.

Surrounded by silence she would have thought herself deaf if it wasn't for the sound of her own reedy breathing. Her only company were the corpses piled around her in small knots against the bulkheads. She couldn't see any keepers in the dim light.

Her stiff neck didn't work much better than the rest of her but as long as she turned her pounding head very slowly she could still marvel at _that view!_

_'God, feels like years since I just sat down.'_

"Anderson?" She tried to shout but it came out a barely audible whisper and the effort made her breathless.

There was something different from the last time she had gazed out upon that planet, apart from the fact only debris floated around it, where once she had witnessed a raging battle. Was the war over? Was there anyone left? Had all those years spent fighting the damn Reapers proved futile? All those sacrifices, young Jenkins, Wrex, Ash, Thane, Garrus, Anderson. Her heart felt like the only part of her which had suffered no physical trauma, but it hurt like hell none the less.

She had wanted to go to Garrus but they were so close to the conduit. Vega had yelled her name, _"Lola!"_ His name for her, anyway. Her ears rang over the dull voices from her earpiece, she had blood in her eyes. It felt like she had been dropped onto a high gravity planet. A marauder shot her, there was a white hot pain in her side as she fought to squeeze the trigger of her gun. Everything moving frustratingly slowly. Hot blood oozed down her torso as she moved, single minded, towards the conduit.

She tried to sigh but the air bubbled painfully in her chest.

_Garrus must be with Thane now._

Oh Thane! That contained, tragic drell who had somehow managed to take her heart with him to the grave.

'_I will await you across the sea.'_

_Probably not much longer to wait, now. Oh if nothing else, please let me see him again._

She had never envied, so much, the drell ability to lose themselves in memory as she did now. Closing her eyes to the view of space she tried to focus on the first time she had ever seen the mysterious assassin who silently slid into view, killing those mercs and Nassana before anyone could react. He moved like a dancer, fluid and precise. He told Jacob, _"My arm is Shepard's,"_ and, truth be told, hadn't she wanted Thane to become more than that all the way back then? She had been very eager to sit down and get to know the drell as soon as he was settled on the Normandy.

"Friend, huh?" She smiled, "that's a start."

"That's…" Thane placed his elbows on the table to clasp his hands together, "intriguing."

Shepard's smile froze. "Yes, uh, well I'd better get back to my duties," she stammered, walking backwards, offering a silent thanks to EDI when the door opened, otherwise she would have backed straight into it.

Thane merely watched her impassively as the Commander tripped over her tongue and nearly her feet.

_Was that a smile on his face?_

She spun around, shot out the door of Life Support and only just missed mowing Kasumi down as the little oriental appeared, literally, in front of her.

"Dammit Kasumi, I wish you wouldn't cloak around the ship!"

"Sorry Shep. You ok?" Kasumi eyed the door of Life Support. "You came out of there pretty fast," she smirked.

_Why did I say that to Krios?_

She hadn't meant…that. She meant more than friends as in the Marine way. As in buddies you could tell anything to and banter with during down time. Someone you _knew_ would always have your back, whom you would kill and die for without hesitation. _That's_ what she had meant, obviously! Of course Thane wasn't military and she knew this. He was an assassin, a loner, lonely too, it seemed. Shepard needed to find a way to help him integrate into the team without further misunderstandings.

Kasumi's eyes shined playfully from the shadows of her hood. Shepard didn't know her that well yet, but the little kleptomaniac seemed to have her finger on the pulse when it came to ship's gossip.

"I'm fine," Shepard smiled. "Sorry I snapped. I seem to be opening my mouth just to change feet at the moment."

"Oh?" Kasumi waited for details Shepard didn't want to give and an idea popped into her head.

"You haven't met our newest crew member have you Kasumi?"

"The drell assassin? No."

"In that case, do me a favour, show him around the Normandy would you? Give him the tour?"

"Oh, of course I will." Kasumi beamed before looking thoughtful, "I think I might avoid Jack's lair though. Last time I went down there she told me to…"

"Er yeah, I can imagine exactly what she said," the Commander laughed. "No problem, just introduce him to the crew members who don't bite."

"Will do Shep," Kasumi grinned.

Shepard left the enigmatic thief, smug with her deft handling of killing two birds with one stone, avoiding any gossip with Kasumi and getting out of having to give Thane the tour so soon after sticking her foot in it.

She was on her way to see Garrus when the lift doors opened on Jacob Taylor. "Commander, can I have a word?"

Entering the lift with a smile she let Jacob hit the button for the CIC.

Shepard liked the armoury. It was obsessively maintained, clinical even, and the lights were a bit harsh, but the sight of well maintained arms and the smell of fresh gun oil was always a comfort to a soldier. Before battle it gave them trust their weapons wouldn't let them down. After battle the ritual of returning the arms was a joy, a reminder of another fight survived, another day lived.

Though, why Cerberus had stuck the armoury two floors up from the shuttle bay was beyond Shepard. It was a pain in the ass carting all your gear up and down in the damn lift all the time. Still, Jacob was a fine Armoury Chief, the place was always spotless. Not surprising, though, considering how anally retentive the guy was. At first the intense Chief had reminded her a little of Kaidan, though Alenko had never been this tightly wound. Not before she had died anyway. After Horizon, well, Kaidan had said she had changed and even if that was true, so had he.

Pushing her thoughts away Shepard crossed her arms and leaned casually against a work table.

"What's on your mind, Jacob?"

"It's the assassin," he spat.

Shepard stiffened, "We've discussed this already."

"I know, but you also said we could approach you…"

"Yes, and I also welcome debate when it's appropriate. But not after I've already given my orders."

Taylor's defiant glare hardly wavered as he said, "Orders I intend to carry out Commander. You know that! It's just… Oh," he spun away from her to lean his palms on his workbench, "I just don't trust him! I don't like guns-for-hire."

"Noted, Mr. Taylor," Shepard said mildly, "but what about me? Do you trust me?"

"Good point," he conceded with a sigh and turned towards the Commander again, arms folded he rested back on one foot. "I'm not sure how the assassin will adapt to working with a team though. You could have your work cut out for you, Shepard."

"Well, that's for me to worry about, Jacob. We need Krios, so we will all do our best to show him how a good team works together. Are we clear?" She said pointedly.

"Commander," was all he said before turning to do some work.

"Carry on," Shepard muttered, stalking away from him towards the tech lab.

First Jack and Miranda, now Jacob and Thane. Maybe Garrus could organise a tag team wrestling match so they could get it out of their systems or something.

After a brief pause to check the latest upgrades to the Normandy and its weapons systems Shepard approached Mordin.

"Shepard, how can I help?"

"Just doing my rounds. You busy?"

"Yes, small experiment. Slight misunderstanding with EDI when she thought I intended to release toxin into ship. No, no, kill everyone, in seconds! Not good." The professor shrugged. "Perhaps talk later. Would like that."

She debated over asking Mordin what he was up to, but decided she would probably sleep better not knowing.

Shepard was about to leave the lab when Mordin said, "Oh, may want to avoid Grunt. Bad mood. Says I took too long over last biopsy. Didn't but, he's a bit sore."

"Do I wanna know where he's sore?"

Mordin took a deep breath while he considered the question, "No."

"Right," she smirked, "thanks for the heads up."

"Pleasure." The salarian turned back to his work humming one of his patter songs.

It might be better to avoid the engineering deck altogether for now. Jack will probably say she was done talking and would no doubt seek the Commander out when she was ready. Shepard wasn't in the mood for one of Zaeed's stories and she had already caught up with Tali, Ken and Gabby this morning while they tended the ship's Drive Core. Not to mention the fact Kasumi might be down there showing Thane around.

As soon as Shepard entered the CIC Kelly Chambers said, "Commander, there's a new message on your private terminal."

Shepard simply gave her Yeoman a nod, smiling on her way past, adding the information to her mental list of things to do as she made her way to the cockpit.

"Hey, Commander." Joker swivelled his chair around, grinning as usual.

"I assume everything is going well up here?"

"Were just having an argument over personalisation of my workspace," said the pilot, giving the AI interface a sideways glance.

"Cerberus regulations are clear Mr. Moreau," EDI stated. "Personalisation does not include grease on my bridge cameras."

Joker giggled, "It's just mad that all this footage of me looks like a dream sequence."

Shepard just shook her head, amused by her pilots continuing war of attrition with the Normandy's AI. "So, what do you think of our latest team mate?"

"Well Thane seems like the strong, sensitive, murdering type. You know those are always great to have around. A real cuddler. It's just my opinion though, there's really no need to go spreading it around."

"That's it for now," she grinned, heading out of the cockpit.

"See ya, Commander."

Shepard approached Kelly to get her thoughts on Thane. The Yeoman and psychologist told her his psyche profile had very little information on a surprisingly spiritual side to the assassin, going on to say, "He carries himself with such cold confidence. I'm not sure if I find him scary, or sexy."

Shepard teased, "A lot of women like bad boys."

Kelly shot back, "A lot of women? Like you?"

"I live a dangerous life," said Shepard playing along, "dangerous men fit right in."

The Yeoman grinned her approval and once again Shepard cringed inwardly wondering why on earth she had given Kelly the impression she was attracted to the drell. Swiftly she bolted to the lift to seek Garrus out.

Though it wasn't quite mess time there were a few crew members in the mess hall and Shepard noted Dr. Chakwas talking with Thane and Kasumi. For some reason seeing Thane made her blush. It couldn't be that silly faux pas she made earlier, could it?

_Get over it!_

She threw them a smile and dived into Miranda's quarters.

"Hello Commander," the Cerberus woman looked up from her terminal.

"Got time to talk Miranda?"

"There's a lot to do Shepard," she said, then sat back in her chair thoughtfully, "Although, Sere Krios is an interesting one."

Shepard hoped the dark haired woman might expand on her comment but when it was clear this wasn't going to happen she offered, "Interesting, yes. Hopefully he'll be a good asset to the team."

"Time will tell. Though the Illusive Man wouldn't have recommended him if he wasn't an asset." At that Miranda got back to work.

Shepard scowled inwardly. "I'll see you later," she muttered and left. She hated the way Miranda appeared to dismiss her. Plus any mention of the Illusive Man, ridiculous alias, always made her hackles rise.

Stomping past Mess Sergeant Rupert Gardener she headed off to the Main Battery.

"Hi, Shepard." Garrus said over his shoulder, then turned to face her.

The Commander smiled at her old friend, "You got a minute?"

The turian paused, looking briefly to one side so Shepard got an eyeful of the livid scars on his face. Permanent trophies of his 'Archangel' days. Now there was a cool alias.

"Can it wait? I've got some calibrations…"

Shepard snorted out a laugh, making Garrus frown.

"What?"

"Nothing." She shook her head. Obviously, the latest ship's joke hadn't reached his ears yet. "It's not important Garrus, I'll see you later."

Before she could leave he said mildly, "Oh, actually, one thing Shepard, about this drell assassin…"

She cut him off with a snapped, "Oh, not you as well, Garrus!" But seeing the turian taken aback she sighed, "Sorry, Garrus, didn't mean to snap. Jacob's got a stick up his ass about Krios being aboard."

"Oh? Then I'll be sure to tell Joker it's not just me." Garrus grinned. "Look, if it's any consolation, I just wanted to say I think you made a good choice bringing him into the team."

"Oh, well, thanks Garrus, I appreciate that."

"So, what do you think of Thane so far?"

Shepard crossed her arms, looking around the various bulkheads of this small space. "Er, well, he seems quite complex, pretty deep, kind 'a fascinating…"

The turian held up his hand. "Er, no, I meant, last night, in the towers. Don't think I've seen anyone move that fast before. That was some pretty amazing stuff in there don't you think?"

"Oh, er, yes," she shook her head as if to clear it then smiled, "He took out those guards and Nassana in the time I could blink. They didn't stand a chance."

"Hmm, still, he could have actually saved us all that trouble fighting through those mercs," Garrus, shook his head disapprovingly before adding with a sly smile, "not that it wasn't fun of course."

"Agreed. But, kind 'a worth the show, huh?" She grinned at the memory of watching the drell move.

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask you something, Shepard," the turian shuffled his feet a little. "Last night, after the mission, when I was in your cabin, I noticed something. Not that it's any of my business but," he looked at the Commander to see if it was ok to continue and at her nod said, "I noticed the picture of Kaidan on your desk was turned face down? I, uh…" he trailed off, mandibles twitching.

"Actually, that's what I popped in to tell you." Shepard flopped down on the only available seat as Garrus leaned his back against his work station.

"I replied to his mail last night, finally."

"Oh, you did? And..?"

Shepard settled back against the bulkhead. "Well, I pretty much told him what I said I was going to. Y'know, that I wasn't working for Cerberus, but I respected his feelings, was sorry for hurting him what with the whole dying thing. I let him know I'd like to be friends, and wished him well with this doctor he'd been dating."

"That's it?"

"Pretty much."

"So...? Garrus eyed her.

"So," she smiled, "that's it! I'm done Garrus. Sure Horizon hurt, you were there. He'd had two years to get over it but It was all still fresh to me. I'm still a little pissed he shut me down like he did, but I understand my death was hard on him."

Garrus scoffed, "Well he wasn't the only one. It was hard on all of us, including you for that matter!"

She nodded, trying not to feel bad about something she'd had no control over and trying not to think too hard about the fact she was dead, once. It wasn't an easy thing to get her head around, especially the nagging worry over her inability to remember an afterlife. She wasn't a big believer in anything per say, but even so, it was a bit depressing to discover there may be nothing to return to when she died, again.

"Even so, I get where he was coming from. Even when he sent that mail, all those mixed messages. I dunno," she shrugged, "I got the impression there was still something there, but at the same time he was ready to move on. I don't begrudge him that at all. I really hope he's happy but I was kind 'a, pissed off when he wrote that message. It's like he wanted to have the last word on Horizon, then the final word after that and at the same time tell me there was a maybe, perhaps, one day, possible chance we might…" Shepard shook her head, "I don't need that Garrus. It's like Jacob said, distractions aren't good for the mission and I, well, I just, got over Kaidan."

"You did? You're sure?"

"I am," she smiled, appreciating her friends concern. "I don't regret the time I spent with Kaidan, but I'm ready to move on. It's history. Frankly, he's not the man I once knew."

"And, you're happy?"

"Yes. At least as happy as a person can be looking down the barrel of a Collector base anyway."

"Well, then, good." Garrus relaxed and turned back to his workstation. "Now I've got to…"

"Go calibrate, Garrus." Shepard interrupted with a grin as she stood.

"How did you know I was going to say that?"

She snorted, gave his arm a squeeze and left the Main Battery.

It was strangely disappointing to see Kasumi and Thane were gone. Now Chakwas was chatting to Zaeed and Jack while Grunt listened to them quietly as he ate.

"What'll it be Commander?" Gardener asked.

Grunt turned in his seat to grumble, "Don't eat the quads!"

Shepard shot a questioning look between the krogan and the Mess Sergeant. The latter rolled his eyes with a sigh, "They're just meatballs Commander."

Grunt lived up to his name, scowling, "They look like quads!"

"Seriously Grunt?" Shepard instantly regretted the question as the krogan nodded. She muttered, "ok I didn't want to know that and further more I choose not to believe it!" Maybe she could ask Mordin later. "So, uh, what else is on the menu?"

"Sorry Commander, I had to use up the last of that varren mince so it's all there is tonight." Gardener grinned. At Shepard's look he added, "You know I'm kidding right Commander?"

With a shake of her head, Shepard went for a plate of quads.

The meatballs tasted good, though she found herself trying not to look at them too closely. By the time she finished her meal Jacob had joined her opposite the table, Tali and Miranda were talking to Grunt, and Garrus was making his way towards Gardener.

The mess was quiet this evening and Shepard had been left to ponder her conversation with the turian. In some ways, she still felt a little sad things hadn't worked out for her and Kaidan. But those what-could-have-been thoughts had begun to grow more and more irrelevant over the days and weeks since Kaidan had sent his message. Now she was satisfied to note a weight had been lifted and she could face the tasks ahead free of that small but significant black cloud which had followed her back from Horizon.

Talking of black clouds, Shepard noted Jacob began brooding again the second Thane appeared, trailing behind Kasumi. Leaning across the table slightly she told Jacob softly, "At ease, before you sprain something."

But he was in no mood for mirth so she sat back to sip her tea. She watched the drell cross the mess hall to stand beside Garrus, who appeared to be hovering while he drank that awful turian tea of his. What the wink Kasumi gave her meant Shepard didn't know, but assumed the tour went well.

Suddenly noticing the drell beside him, Garrus sprang back in surprise, gasping and choking on his tea, much to everyone's amusement. He tried to yell at Thane but could only manage a glower as he coughed.

Eventually, wiping the back of his hand across his mandibles, Garrus complained, "If you're going to insist on sneaking up on people like that, I'm having you fitted with a proximity alarm."

"Just put a bell around his neck, Garrus," Jack smirked.

Shepard didn't know what was funnier, the turian's threat or the drell's contained shock.

Before Thane could offer the apology he was clearly about to make, Kasumi jumped up with, "Ooh, I know! Stay there everyone."

She ran back to her room, leaving the team to wonder what she was up to for a few moments. The only sound was Garrus clearing his sore throat of the tea he had nearly breathed in.

Kasumi returned with a grin, holding up a string of delicate looking bells in various brightly opaque colours. They made pleasant light chimes as she moved towards Thane, practically pouncing on him to wrap the bells around his neck before he could fully comprehend what was happening.

"How's that, Garrus?" asked the oriental with a light giggle.

The turian looked horrified on the drells behalf, but the rest of the team laughed as Thane stood stiffly, hands behind his back. He looked like he had been decorated in tiny lights and it made Shepard think of an old Earth custom celebrating the end of one year and the beginning of another. She wanted to tell the team to leave Thane alone, at least until he had become accustomed to the boisterous group. But she was having trouble containing her own laughter, both at the image of the drell in front of her, and the image he conjured up in her head. She bit her tongue and took a deep breath, intent on restoring order in the mess hall.

Joker walked in, looking around to see where the fun was. He took one look at the drell, pointed and said, "Shit, Thane, you look just like a Christmas tree!"

The humans fell about giggling.

Shepard had to practically cling to the corner of the table to stop herself from hitting the floor, gasping with laughter.

Jokers timing had been brilliant. But it only got worse when Grunt asked, "What's a Christmas tree?"

Joker rolled his eyes, flapped both hands at Thane and sarcastically said, "Hello!"

The tiny bark of laughter rang loud in the chamber and sent fireworks of white hot pain from her chest. But the wince on her face quickly returned to a Thane, why he didn't just run for the nearest airlock there and then, she didn't know. What was it Garrus said? She searched her sluggish brain but it wouldn't come. The memory was fading as quickly as she was and she gave up trying to hang on to it.

She focused again on the view outside. The planet looked beautiful despite the millions of ragged satellites now orbiting it. She wondered if Thane really would be waiting for her. Or would she be returning to that nothingness the Lazarus Project had dragged her from? No one was coming to find her, that was clear. She didn't know how long she had been here but it was easily more than just a few hours. It could even have been days. It was hard to tell; her sense of time had been lost back on Earth.

Maybe everyone was dead and there was no one left to notice she was MIA. No one left on the Citadel to come and find her.

Silence. Not even the sound of machinery, no movement at all.

_And why am I just _laying_ here?_

Passing out while trying to move had got to be preferable to just laying here. Plus her thirst was now starting to drive her crazy and she wanted to see what was left of her water pouch, assuming she still had it on her. The thought of a drink galvanised her and with a slow careful tilt of her head she spied a bulkhead just a few feet behind. Ignoring the glassy, grinding ball of fire her body seemed to be engulfed in, she dug in an elbow and a foot in an attempt to haul her broken body backwards and join the other corpses in the deep shadows.

Walking into the patient waiting area turned overflow ward for the walking wounded, Thane was surprised to see Kasumi had been true to her word and was already waiting for him. He was even more surprised to note her companion and would have retreated if Kasumi hadn't spotted him.

"Look who I found!" She purred as Thane approached.

"Well, Thane Krios." The human stood, smiling, offering his hand to shake.

"Jacob Taylor," Thane said as he returned the handshake. He noted the human no longer appeared the tightly wound man who had so disliked the assassin's presence back on the Normandy. In fact the ex-Armoury Chief warmly congratulated Thane on his return to health.

But when Jacob revealed his reason for being at Huerta it was Thane's turn to return the warm handshake.

"I'm a dad!" Jacob sparkled in a toothy grin.

"Jacob, that's wonderful news, congratulations," Thane told him sincerely, pleased to hear the good news of the man's hours-old, healthy baby girl and happy wife. Although Thane had to ask, "Little Shep?"

"Isn't it cute?" Kasumi giggled, touching Jacobs arm.

"Yeah, it's kind of a nickname. Long story. Shepard is probably going to kill me."

"Oh no, I'm sure she'll be delighted," fawned Kasumi, another touch on his arm, to which Jacob seemed oblivious. With some effort she took her eyes off the married man and looked at Thane, her smile falling away. "I have some news, shall we sit?"

Thane stiffened and declined, grateful when Kasumi got straight to the point. "It's Admiral Anderson. They found his body. Bailey sent word to Admiral Hackett who is on his way to the Citadel for a formal ID."

"Gods!" Thane whispered.

Jacob sighed, "I didn't know the man personally, but he was a good friend of Shepard's and a good soldier."

"He was also with Shepard as far as we know," Thane rumbled darkly. "Jacob, Kasumi, forgive me but I must go and speak with Commander Bailey."

Jacob was still taking in the news of his ex-Commander's location and it took him a moment to answer. "Oh, sure. Uh, would you let me know what you find out?"

"Of course. Kasumi, would you like to meet me outside C-Sec?"

"Good idea," she nodded, "I'll let Mordin know where we'll be."

"There is one other thing," Thane said, "Jack is asleep in my room. Could you message her as well please?"

"Jack is here? Oh! Well, I think I'll go and meet her." She put a hand on Jacobs arm again, this time to escort him away. "We can walk in together, Jacob." Though she grinned, Thane saw the same concern in her hooded eyes as he felt and he moved swiftly to the lift.

He was pacing quickly towards the temporary offices of C-Sec when he noticed an even swifter motion in his peripherals, coming straight at him. Thane whirled to his right, just in time to catch the furious turian's fist. Instead of hurting his attacker he simply pushed the fist away and grabbed Vakarian by his shoulders, as he held Thane tightly by both elbows. They locked eyes, leaning on each other for a moment.

Eventually the turian's mandibles relaxed enough so he could speak and Garrus hissed icily, "What gives, drell? She thinks you're dead! She went through hell…"

Perhaps because he smelled and looked like he hadn't showered or slept in days, or because he could see the pain on Thane's face, Garrus trailed off and sagged against Thane. The two men seemed to hold each other up.

Though Thane wanted to see Bailey, urgently, he led the turian outside and sat him on a bench to tell his story, again.

Where once they would have been able to enjoy the garden waterfalls, now their view was dominated a large tent, under which a body, or bodies, were being recovered. The blue police line around the perimeter winked red every time someone crossed it.

A mixture of emotions passed over Garrus' face as he listened to Thane without interruption. When Thane finished, Garrus remained silent for a moment as he contemplated Thane's words. When he finally spoke it was with a quiet approval. "So, Koylat actually forged your electronic signature, eh?"

This always caused Thane a mixture of shame and pride when he considered the illegal manipulations his son had been involved in.

"Well, good old Bailey." Garrus grinned.

Thane was about to invite his companion to accompany him to see the Commander of C-Sec, but first he had to ask, "Have you just returned from Earth?"

With a weary sigh Garrus nodded. "It's hell down there. Less so now we pulled the plug on the Reapers, but, even so… Sorry about the smell, I've not had any chance to wipe the crud from my armour yet. Most of its husk juice, at least that's probably one of the more pleasant things I'm covered in anyway." He poked at a crusty bit of goo on the front of his armour.

Gently, Thane Said, "You know Shepard is…"

"Missing, yes," Garrus jumped in, looking around, unhappily. "I'm sorry, for back there. I thought, actually I'm not sure what I thought, really. I was just registering my arrival at the Citadel and Kolyat told me you were better and, I don't know… I," he shook his head slowly, "I just remembered how things were for Shepard, after your death."

At Thane's questioning frown Garrus explained, "Let's just say, Shepard wasn't as prepared for your death as much as she thought."

Thane looked at his feet, his voice tight, "She… suffered."

"To be honest, Thane, she was heartbroken. Oh, she was fine commanding the ship, on the battlefield, that kind of thing. But the between times… I don't think she spent much time in her quarters after... you know," with a sharp look Garrus said, "Oh, now look, don't go beating yourself up. It's her own fault. I warned her not to go and fall for a dying man. Uh, no offence. But she did and, well, I know she didn't regret, er, knowing you."

"I knew it might not be easy for her, but I had hoped…"

"What?" Garrus snapped, "she would have just shrugged you off?"

"No. Not at all I…"

"Oh, look, I'm sorry. I'm tired and, ah, I just got some bad news last night. It's good to have you back, old friend." Garrus slapped Thane on the shoulder lightly.

"Thank you, and you too Garrus," said Thane, genuinely touched. "What was your bad news?"

Garrus sighed. "Tali… she's dead." His mandibles tightened against his mouth, eyes shining as if he might cry. "You don't know but, she and I, well

let's just say we were, ah, beginning to get close."

Thane hadn't really known Tali very well when they served on the Normandy together. She spent most of her time in engineering and he rarely went down there. At first he thought the little quarian had a chip on her shoulder, but quickly came to realise her acerbic and often humorous sarcasm was her way of coping in a galaxy which largely treated quarians like second-class citizens. Thane's own species was sometimes viewed in the same way because the drell now lived on the hanar home world, though it was rare. Certainly rarer than the problems the quarians faced. Thane had a lot of respect for Tali. She was intelligent, tenacious and pretty gentle for someone who could cut down armies of geth and stand up to the Migrant Fleet Admiralty. Most of all she was loyal to her people, be it those in the Migrant Fleet or Shepard and her crew. Thane offered a brief prayer to Kalahira for her.

"Garrus, I am sorry. You knew her a long time, I..."

Garrus waved him off and changed the subject. "Liara will be pleased. I know you only met her a couple of times but she liked you."

"Ah, Liara has outlived the war. That is good news." Thane didn't know the asari very well, but had liked the soft-spoken, formidable warrior the first time they met on Illium. He had understood immediately why Shepard valued her friendship with the doctor of archaeology, turned information broker, so much.

"Yes, she's still on Earth trying to locate James and some of the others. Oh, you didn't know James Vega, did you? He and I were with Shepard right up until the conduit. Well, right up until I got blown off my ass."

"What happened?" Thane asked, wanting to know as much as he could about Shepard as he did Garrus.

"Oh, it was hell, as you can imagine. By the time we reached the conduit to get us onto the Citadel, like the one on Ilos… oh, you weren't there. Well anyway, by the time we got there, Hammer forces were depleted to just a few soldiers and Harbinger was shooting its damn laser at us, carving everything up in its path. To be honest, I don't even know how I got as far as I did before an explosion threw me into the air. Last thing I remember, the ground was punching me in the face." Garrus rubbed at the latest scars on his cheek. "Anyway, next thing I know a medic is telling me to wake up and there was this Reaper, just lying there, right in front of me. Took me a few minutes to figure it out. Couldn't believe the war was over. All that and I miss the very end!" He shook his head. "I caught up with James, damn good soldier, as he was being stretchered into the field hospital. Oh, he was in a bad way, Thane. His legs…" Garrus grimaced at the memory, "I don't know if he made it. Liara is trying to find out where they transferred him. Comms are so bad right now. He was pretty out of it on Medi-gel but he told me Shepard made it to the conduit."

"With Anderson?"

"Er, I'm not sure. He made it too?"

Thane quickly briefed him on what Mordin had implied, then gently told him, "Garrus, Admiral Anderson is dead. His body was found here on the Citadel."

"Oh hell." Garrus bowed his head for long seconds. "Oh hell!" He repeated, looking at Thane, "Shepard..?"

"I was on my way to see Bailey when you…"

"Let's go!" Garrus said, already up and moving back the way they had come.

A fellow expert sniper, Garrus Vakarian had welcomed Thane to the Normandy and from the beginning had furnished him with stories involving Shepard. At first Thane thought the turian probably exaggerated, but when he saw Garrus and the Commander in action the drell soon realised there was little exaggeration. He discovered much about Shepard from Garrus whose friendship and loyalty towards her ran deep. The turian loved his Commander as if she were kin.

Despite his perfect memory Thane wasn't sure when his curiosity over this intriguing human woman had unexpectedly began to grow into deeper feelings. Even now it came as a surprise to him that this warrior-angel had reciprocated. Garrus had been supportive of their relationship as much as he was protective of his Commander.

_He paces up and down in front of me. Points a talon at my face. He speaks sincerely, "I am glad for you both," then with menace, "but you hurt her and I swear I'll break your neck, Krios!"_

Thane had to push the memory away as he followed Garrus into C-Sec and towards Commander Armando-Owen Bailey's small office.

"Well, as I live and breathe!" Bailey greeted them in his low easy voice, "and as you do too, Thane," he chuckled. "Good to see you back in one piece, Garrus. I heard it was rough down there."

Thane sat opposite Bailey's desk wondering how many more ways his continuing existence would be remarked upon. Another human trait, stating the obvious in so many colourful ways.

"Looks like you've had it pretty rough up here," Garrus commented, "What happened?"

"Well," Bailey sat back with a sigh, "from the looks of things when the Crucible fired it took out part of the central ring. Not enough to do much structural damage up there, though some of the space ports are gone. Shook us up pretty good, that's for sure. A few places got messed up by the debris flying around," he waved a hand as he talked, "including C-Sec. We lost a few damn good officers." Bailey sighed.

"That's why we're here," Thane told the Commander. "Is it true Admiral Anderson's body was recovered?"

Bailey sighed again, "Yeah, I'm afraid so. Looks like he got caught in the explosion. Repair crews found the body a few hours ago."

Thanes fists were balled against his thighs, an anxious knot writhing in his stomach. "I have been told Shepard was with him."

"Yeah, and another unidentified man. All I know is we have been asked to look for Shepard and a human male. But I can tell you now, there's no one else up there. We've widened the search of course, but I can't see Shepard just wandering off into the keeper tunnels."

"Is there anything we can do?" asked Thane. "Perhaps join the search?"

"I don't see why not. Hackett will be here soon. When I've found out what he wants us to do I'll contact you and if I find out anything, I'll let you know. Sorry I can't do more than that right now."

"Uh," Garrus glanced sideways at Thane before asking Bailey, "this explosion, is it possible there, ah, may not be anything left?"

Thane looked down at the floor, grateful Garrus asked the question he couldn't and let out a small breath of relief when Bailey told them, "No. We'll get a forensic team up there of course, but no it wasn't that kind of blast. I can tell you we believe we have recovered all of the remains of everyone caught up in the falling debris. I'm happy to say Shepard isn't among them."

"I see," was all Thane could offer, unsure if this was good news or not. It was, of course, yet it told him nothing about the fate of his Siha.

Bailey stood, clearly needing to get back to work and neither Thane, nor Garrus, wanted to get in his way. The turian thanked Bailey with a handshake and an apology for the smell before leaving his office. Thane paused after shaking the humans hand.

"I wanted to thank you, Commander. Not just for myself, but for everything you have done for Koylat."

"Ah well, he's a good kid. I'm real pleased with him and he's become a good officer. You should be proud."

"I am, believe me. We both now have you to thank for our lives."

Bailey waved a dismissive hand before folding his arms and looking away from the drell, "I suppose, I just hope I did the right thing there really."

Thane smiled. "It can't have been easy. The legal perspective aside, it must have been difficult from a moral point of view."

"Huh, well, yeah I guess and it sure wasn't easy keeping that one to myself every time you and Shepard came by C-Sec."

"I, hadn't thought of that," Thane admitted.

"Well, as long as we're ok, Thane, then it's all worked out."

"Commander Bailey you will always have my gratitude and I am in your debt. I hope one day I can repay your kindness in some small way."

Bailey chuckled, "Careful, I may hold you to that. It's good to see you back on your feet, Thane. Soon as I hear anything I'll be in touch." As he settled back behind his desk the Commander added softly, "I hope we find her."

Thane nodded. The two men looked at each other for a moment and he left, none the wiser over what had happened to Siha but a little more comforted to know many shared his concerns and were doing what they could to locate her.

Garrus had already greeted Jack and Kasumi outside C-sec and was filling them in when Thane approached.

"Hey, you left me!" Jack complained.

"I did not wish to disturb you. It looked like you needed to rest."

"Yeah, whatever. Thanks."

"I have to go shower," Garrus sighed, "I think the rain washed some of this crap off me, but even so. You know, it sure rains a lot in London, and that's their summer season?" He rolled his eyes.

"You have accommodation?" enquired Thane. Garrus simply nodded so he turned to the little biotic.

"Yeah got a bunk," said Jack. "Gotta go see Kelly whatserface, Shepard's secretary from the Normandy."

"Yeoman." Garrus corrected.

"Whatever."

"Sorry, late," Morden arrived, "had to wait for test results."

No one asked for details as they all greeted the professor, Jack with a quick wave, Garrus a handshake. It was strange to see a turian and a salarian using the typical human greeting without even thinking about it.

"Hmm," Mordin pondered after they told him the news, offering no more.

Garrus offered, "Well find her, Thane. Or, more likely, she'll find us. It's early days yet."

The turian's expression was determined but for reasons Thane couldn't explain, he felt less hopeful. "The most famous woman in the Galaxy still unaccounted for?" He challenged gently.

"You haven't seen what it's like down there," Garrus told him. "It's possible she's still back on Earth, or returned back there, maybe. Either way, I'm sure she'll be fine."

With that Garrus bid them a farewell for now, muttering, "It's going to take me days to get that damn planet's dirt out from under my talons."

The group split up and Thane returned to the bench he had shared with Garrus earlier. Looking up at the central ring he noticed a jagged hole exposing its inner workings, though it was too far away to see any details. He shuddered and looked away, noticing Garrus glance over his shoulder to offer a quick wave as he plodded wearily away. It left Thane feeling grateful to have found so many familiar faces still alive after the war. Or rather they found him. Especially Garrus, the battle scarred turian and formidable soldier whose desire to protect Shepard matched his own. Of all the team, Garrus was probably the one he most preferred to fight alongside. Although the turian did have his own unique way of showing he cared sometimes.

The Shuttle dropped from the Normandy and Shepard yawned, shaking her head before leaning forward in her seat to address Thane and Garrus opposite.

"It's simple enough, the usual really. Just a merc base, red sand dealers and," her face darkened, "slavers."

There were dark circles under the Commander's eyes and Thane wondered if she was getting enough sleep. In the last few days she had gone through a fierce fire-fight with Jack and Miranda to help the Cerberus woman's sister, rescued the sole-survivor of a crashed ship, returning the quarian to the Migrant Fleet and been to the Citadel twice. Once to help Garrus track down Sidonis, who had betrayed him, so Garrus could avenge the death of his team by killing the turian mole. Shepard had reminded Thane of Irika by the way she had stood between the traitor and the turian's line of site, talking to Sidonis until Garrus had realised killing him would simply end the man's misery and his life wasn't worth taking. They found out later Sidonis had confessed his crimes to C-Sec.

Their second visit was to help Thane after he had received a tip-off from one of his contacts about his estranged son. It was to become a reunion of sorts and Thane's world had been changed that day. He was still trying to find the words to thank the Commander properly. Thane had first trusted her to get the information of Koylat's intentions from the man who hired him. He was sickeningly worried Elias Kelham would clam up, but Shepard had said, "I'm a Spectre, start talking," and Thane witnessed the shortest interrogation in Galactic history. After that he'd had to entrust Shepard to shadow Joram Talid in the hope they could prevent his death by Koylat's hand. Not for the sake of the anti-human turian politician, but in the hope Thane's son would be prevented from making the same mistakes he had. It was difficult entrusting someone else to watch Talid while Thane moved positions, but it proved successful and Shepard had risen even higher in his estimations. She could be trusted and trust was a rare commodity in this galaxy.

"So we're going to go in, take out the trash, then blow the place," she told them.

"Sounds good to me." Garrus nodded enthusiastically. They all hated slavers and any opportunity to take gangs like this out was welcomed.

Shepard stood as she felt the shuttle land. "Good, let's get in and get out. Then we're off to Omega for a layover and some shore leave."

"Not the Citadel?" Garrus asked.

The Commander scoffed, "No, I need a good party!" She was out the shuttle before the hatch fully opened and the two men had to scramble out of their seats to catch up.

Most of the mercs had run into the building as soon as they saw the shuttle coming into land, locking the door behind them. So the team quickly dispatched the handful stranded outside. Shepard was at the door hacking her way in before the last body hit the floor.

Thane jumped a barrier and was at the Commanders side just before Garrus caught up, complaining, "Are we trying for some kind of galactic record or something?"

Shepard just smiled as she stepped back, at the turian's words or the satisfaction of hacking this door quickly the two men didn't find out. Shepard readied her gun, hit the door and shot into the room, crouching behind the first barrier she saw.

Garrus barely had time to throw Thane an annoyed look before they had to move in behind her. He wasn't sure exactly what that look was trying to convey. He was really only just beginning to spend time with Garrus off the battlefield and he found the turian hard to read sometimes.

No mercs waited for them in this small room and Thane figured they were more than likely waiting for them behind the door at the top of the ramp to their right. They moved up and as Garrus reached out to get Shepard's attention she swung around the edge of the door and moved in without so much as a look to make sure her team was behind her. It pleased Thane to see she was able to place her trust in him as much as she did her old friend. Garrus however didn't seem to feel this way and Thane made a note of the disapproving surprise on the turian's face as they went in after her.

The next two rooms had maybe a dozen mercs each and again the team worked through them quickly. Shepard was pushing forward very aggressively. The only time he had seen her fight like this was after finding Liara's drell friend Feron in the clutches of the Shadow Broker. Unfortunately, Thane had been knocked out and missed Shepard and Liara take down the powerful broker. The Commanders desire to get Feron out of his sickening torture chamber had seen her fight through the brokers mercs hardly stopping for cover. Thane wondered if there might be more to their current mission than she had told them. Perhaps that was why she had aggressively refused his idea of going in covertly to plant the explosive when he had suggested it last night.

They reached a wide cave entrance which would lead them into the mercs main lair. She crouched low to take a quick peek around the corner then turned to them whispering, "Central chamber. I count fifteen, we can double that. Plus they've got one of those damn mechs."

Thane didn't need to ask what type of mech, she only called the YMIR heavy mechs 'damn' mechs. Shepard had already snapped her M-12 Locust machine gun home and was reaching for her favourite weapon, the 'fun gun' she called it, an ML-77 missile launcher. "Garrus, you take left flank."

Both men nodded, understanding their positions. Before the Commander could take a step forwards Garrus wrapped his talons around her arm and pulled her back a few feet.

"Shepard," he whispered, one eye on her, the other on the entrance, "take a breath will you? Slow the pace down a little."

"Getting to old for this Garrus?" She teased with a grin.

"If you mean too old to be reckless, then yes, I certainly am!" He hissed.

This both sobered and angered the Commander. "I am not reckless!" She hissed back through gritted teeth.

Garrus shuffled his feet. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean… Shepard you seem a bit tightly wound. What's eating you?"

"Eating me?" She shook her head with a shrug. "Nothing, I just want to get this mission over and back to the Normandy. That ok with you, Garrus? Or shall we keep chatting until they send that damn mech out after us? Move out, dammit!" Shepard huffed, throwing Garrus a black look before returning to the cave entrance with her missile launcher at the ready.

The mech was on Shepard as soon as she was inside, firing its mass accelerator cannons as she slid for cover, throwing a biotic blast against its shields. Her shields were down quickly and she paused in cover to regenerate and apply some Medi-gel as the mech advanced slowly.

Thane and Garrus fanned out and the drell was able to watch the Commander in his peripherals as she worked on the mech, while he dealt with mercs ahead.

Shepard popped up, rapidly fired three missiles and ducked in time for the mech's rocket to fly just inches over her head. Then she leaned out to one side to fire another rapid volley, but had to roll away as a rocket obliterated her cover. She was trapped in a corner, exposed, emptying her missile launcher on the still advancing mech. She used the empty weapon to cover her face when the mech wobbled and exploded. Shepard pushed forward, ignoring the bits of mech bouncing off her shields the empty ML-77 was slapped back in place and she reached for her Locust while diving for cover.

She forged ahead, zigzagging down the middle of the chamber. Biotics flying, lifting the enemy, slamming them down, shooting the ones closest. She gave Garrus and Thane a hard time covering her as they tried to work their way down each side of the room.

When Shepard paused behind some crates to let her shields regenerate again she didn't see the merc coming up on her right flank. Thane couldn't get a clear shot from his position but Garrus saw the enemy and shot before the drell could shout a warning. With a quick nod to Garrus she stayed in position, picking off the few mercs left while waiting for her team to close the gap. When she saw her team had two of the remaining enemy in their sights she suddenly shot forward, lifting the last merc from his hiding place and leaving him suspended for Garrus or Thane to finish off.

Two steps and she was at the central terminal. Shepard glanced over her shoulder, quickly sweeping the room and checking on her team. Satisfied, she turned to rig the small but extremely powerful explosive.

Thane saw the movement just seconds before Garrus. Raising his gun Thane barked, "Shepard!" It was too late.

The krogan's biotic lift came so swiftly it yanked Shepard off her feet, knocking her weapon out of her hand. His shotgun ate away at her shields while Garrus and Thane could only chip away at his.

Shepard's shields came down while the krogan stood his ground, blasting away at her armour. She cried out in pain and fury, squirming against the biotic grip, trying to reach for a weapon. Thane managed to stagger the krogan with a biotic throw, bringing his shields down. There wouldn't be much time before they regenerated.

Shepard's opaque blue prison winked out, but before she could drop to the floor, the krogan hit her with a powerful throw. It launched her down the length of the chamber to a sudden, bone crunching slam against the far wall.

Unleashing everything they could at the powerful enemy, Garrus inched forward, risking a dangerous charge from the krogan while Thane inched back, partly to watch for any more hidden mercs as he covered Garrus and partly because his desire to check on Shepard was almost overwhelming. He even risked a quick look over his shoulder, horrified to see she wasn't moving.

The enemy roared, but before he could charge the sticky mines Garrus had thrown towards him exploded. Much of the krogan splattered against the terminal and pieces of his armour pebble-dashed the wall.

Without a word both men took precious few moments to sweep the room, gave each other a nod and ran to where Shepard lay. To Thane's utter relief she was already pushing herself up on one elbow, rubbing the back of her head. Her glove came away bloody but she didn't notice. Thane hadn't realised he'd been holding his breath until the release of air from his damaged lungs nearly made him cough. He thanked the Gods he was somehow able to suppress the urge and didn't have to suffer the indignity of having a coughing fit in front of his team. But most of all he thanked the Gods his Commander was moving.

"I'm all right," she told them, noticing the blood on her glove and absently wiping her hand on the dirt floor as she slowly sat up.

"You stay put!" Garrus ordered, shaking on his omni-tool to scan her and administer a small dose of Medi-gel into her system.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "Are you guys ok?"

"Hmm," muttered Garrus from behind his mandibles, "shaken, not stirred." Shepard grinned at his humanism, a term the turian had learned from one of the Cerberus crew.

But Garrus shot her a livid glare, "You'll live," he declared. "Might want to have that shoulder looked at though."

Shepard rolled her arm, "Yeah I banged it pretty hard."

"No," Garrus said, mildly, "the other one, where you've been shot."

The colour drained from Shepard's face as she looked down at the blood.

"Indeed," Garrus muttered. Standing up he added, "I'll go wipe the krogan off the explosive and set the charge then, shall I?"

Thane frowned at the turian but turned to Shepard offering his hand, "Can you stand?"

As soon as she was on her feet she yelped and Thane threw an arm around her waist to support her.

"Oh yeah," Garrus threw over his shoulder as he sauntered away, "you might want to get that looked at as well. Probably just a sprain, but…" he shrugged.

Thane glowered after the turian but spoke gently to Shepard, "I'll take you back to the shuttle," he informed her, lifting the Commander off her feet to carry her like a bride.

"Hey!" She protested, eyes wide. "I can walk dammit!"

Thane considered this as he made his way out of the chamber, "You can hop, but my way is quicker and less problematic."

Frowning, Shepard opened her mouth to argue but Thane said, "You are unused to being helped aren't you, Shepard?"

She scoffed, "Now that's a stupid thing to say considering the team I've put together, despite the enormity of what I'm asking from all of you."

"You misunderstand. I mean, on a more personal level."

Shepard looked at him like he was insane to suggest personal levels even mattered. He explained, "In the brief time I have known you, I have watched you help others. Miranda's sister is safe because of you. Garrus has resolved his issues with Sidonis. Liara is now the Shadow Broker. All thanks to you. You even put yourself in great danger to help Samara and Kasumi and you have helped me in ways I can't begin to describe. You have helped so many people, in very personal ways, yet when you need aid you seem to prefer to be left alone, to struggle. Despite the harsh…"

Her unexpected laughter cut him off. "Sorry," she giggled. "Look, put me down. I would have thought a loner like you would be able to work it out."

"I have." Thane continued weaving a steady pace around intact and broken crates, stepping over the odd dead merc, easily carrying her surprisingly slight weight in his arms. "I do recognise the solitary person in you."

She frowned, looking down at her lap.

"But as you have told me, Shepard, we are part of a team, we... have each other's backs," Thane repeated the same words she had said to him during his first days on the Normandy. "Surely this includes not just during battle but its aftermath, also?"

"Well yes, obviously, but… um..."

Thane waited as she groped for an argument, amused when, because she couldn't find one, she gave his shoulder a slap, demanding, "Oh, just put me down already!"

"In a moment," he told her gently as he made his way down the small ramp.

Shepard's eyes scanned the room as she spoke, "Look Thane, I do really appreciate what you're saying but… Ooh shiny!"

"Where?" Thane followed her gaze.

"That box on the table," she pointed.

He carried her over to a small open crate and she reached in to scoop up the credits.

"Nice find," he smiled. Shepard's ability to find credits amazed Thane. She liked to look around a place before they left but even when it wasn't possible she would often manage to leave an area with her pockets lighter on heat sinks but heavier with credits.

She grinned, "Cool. Now, what was I saying?"

"You were telling me to put you down."

"Oh yeah, put me down, damn it!"

Her laugh turned to surprise when Thane agreed, "Certainly."

She realised they were back at the shuttle drop. Shepard tensed her arm around his shoulders and Thane reassured, "I will be gentle with you."

He carefully place her on a reinforced crate as she muttered, "I wouldn't blame you if you dropped me on my ass."

Mindful of Shepard's swelling ankle he lowered her legs slowly, insisting, "I would never do that." Crouching beside her, he asked, "Ok?"

She nodded, "Thank you. Y'know, you're an amazingly gentle man for an assassin."

Her arm remained across his shoulders as he called the shuttle pilot for pick up. "Are all assassins supposed to be brutish?"

"No, I'm not trying to stereotype or anything, it's just, er, look forget I tried to pay you a compliment," she huffed, her cheeks burning.

"I'm sorry," he smiled, "thank you for the compliment."

Shepard's cheeks burned even brighter.

When she moved her arm Thane was left feeling a strange absence. He realised, despite the circumstances, he had enjoyed carrying her. Not just because he wanted to help this human in any way he could, but because he had enjoyed the closeness between them. It had been a very long time since Thane had been in such close contact with anyone. Those many brief intimate kills he had performed hardly counted. But this closeness had been with a warrior-angel and it stirred emotions in him Thane didn't even know he was still capable of feeling.

He spent the fortunately short shuttle ride back to the Normandy sitting between a glowering turian and a Commander who managed to look defiant and sheepish at the same time. No one spoke. As soon as the shuttle docked Shepard was up, using the door frame as support. Beyond the open hatch was an empty shuttle bay with little she could use to help her traverse the area and she hesitated.

As soon as Thane was by her side she hissed, "Don't you dare!" But she put an arm across his back and allowed him to take some of her weight. It was a compromise and Thane understood the Commander's desire to keep her dignity among the crew as well as reassure them by walking, however awkwardly, back from battle. He allowed her to set the pace as she semi-hopped across the large room.

"For once I'm glad the armoury isn't down here," she muttered, wincing slightly.

Thane didn't have a chance to comment as the lift doors opened to a rumbling cry of, "Shepard!"

Grunt's quarters overlooked the shuttle bay and he must have seen their arrival. Despite the heavy down turned brow, the young krogan seemed delighted to see his Commander, welcoming her by slapping a heavy paw down onto her wounded shoulder. It had to hurt but Shepard grimaced only slightly, eyes closing a moment before she smiled at Grunt. Once again Thane was impressed by this small human.

"Are you ok, Shepard?" Grunt asked in a vicious looking wide toothy grin.

"Yes, thanks Grunt, I just twisted my ankle, is all."

"Oh." The krogan sounded disappointed as he stepped back into the lift to give them room.

"And got herself shot," Garrus growled. He had been quietly following, mandibles tight against his mouth. "Properly, I mean. Clean through her shields, her armour and straight into her flesh."

"Oh!" Grunt repeated, much more brightly. "Battlemaster, you will have a new scar to remind you of a good fight. Hur hur hur," he laughed.

"It was a disaster!" Garrus drawled.

Silence.

"Thanks, Grunt."

The lift doors opened onto the crew deck and they made a strange looking, slow parade. A concerned drell supporting a hopping human followed by a grinning krogan and a turian who looked like he might reach out and throttle the next person who spoke to him.

"Well," said Doctor Karin Chakwas brightly, "what do we have here, Commander? Looks like someone got the better of you today." Her omni-tool flicked on as she stood and waited until Thane had gently helped Shepard up onto a bed.

But first she had to remove her weapons, snapping off each one from its holster as she stood on one foot, Thane at her elbow to steady her. Once she had laid all the weapons on the vacant bed next to hers it looked like a veritable armoury. The ML-77 missile launcher, an M-27 Scimitar shot gun, her M-6 Carnifex Hand Cannon, the favoured M-12 Locust, which Garrus had retrieved from where it had fallen and an M-96 Mattock assault rifle. Finally, the M-97 Viper sniper rifle Thane had yet to see her use. She told him she liked to snipe, but had admitted to being pretty useless with a scope on the run so didn't get much of a chance to use it. She carried it, "'Cos you never know."

It was an excessive amount of weaponry to carry, thought Thane, who rarely carried more than his rifle and maybe a couple of small arms. His hands were his best weapons.

"Always best to have a back up." Shepard had told him when he had asked why she carried so much.

Garrus once commented, "If she was the kind of woman who carried a handbag it would be the size of a large locker."

Thane noticed the doctor's eyes visually assessing her patient as she smiled, waiting for Shepard to get settled. The moment Chakwas started working, Garrus, who had been brooding next to the happy krogan, couldn't contain himself any longer. Pushing past Grunt he exploded.

"Shepard, what the hell were you playing at down there? We could have all been killed. You nearly were! You pushed it too hard, too fast, and you left us behind!"

As Garrus paced back and forth Thane grew ever more annoyed. Garrus may have a point, but his delivery left a lot to be desired, his timing too. Thane placed a protective hand between Shepard's shoulder blades without thinking about it and found himself gratified when she rested against him a little, though this could have been due to an unconscious desire to cringe away from her friend's fury. Yet, she allowed Garrus to continue.

"You didn't listen to your team, well, to me anyway," he glowered at Thane, "and hell, Shepard, you didn't even bother to sweep the area properly before rushing off to plant the damn bomb! What the _hell_ were you thinking?"

All the while Grunt watched hungrily, thoroughly entertained by the tension.

Dr Chakwas didn't even seem to notice. "Well Commander, that head wound is just a scrape, I'll have it glued up in a jiffy. You shoulder has some tissue damage is all and your ankle is just a small sprain. I don't suppose there's much chance of you staying off it for a few days is there?"

"What? Bed rest?" Shepard looked horrified at the idea.

"Oh, heavens no," Chakwas laughed, "I've long since given up trying to keep you properly immobile. But I wouldn't recommend you trying to chase any of your bad guys on it for a couple of days."

"I can do that, Doc," Shepard smiled, "We're due for some shore leave anyway."

Garrus had stopped pacing, if not seething, "Look, what's going on, Shepard? I think you owe us an explanation at the very least. I mean, first you…"

"All right, that's enough Vakarian." Shepard said mildly, fixing Garrus with her 'shut up' look.

"Indeed," agreed the doctor, "come on, out you go, boys…"

"Wait!" Shepard sighed. "Garrus, you're right. I'm not really sure what I was doing. I'm a bit tired, obviously I've become maybe a little complacent. I just wanted to get the mission over and done with and get back to the Normandy. But, I guess I put both your lives in danger. Garrus, Thane," she looked at them in turn before looking down at her hands, "I'm sorry, I screwed up."

"Well good," chimed the doctor, brightly. "It's rather nice to know even the great Commander Shepard gets things wrong from time to time. Makes us lesser mortals feel better." Before Garrus could argue the flaws in Chakwas' comments she told the three of them, "Now shoo. Let me work on the Commander. She'll be fine."

Garrus stalked away past Grunt who reluctantly followed. Thane hesitated, but when the doctor eyeballed him he reluctantly pulled his hand away.

Shepard caught it, squeezing lightly, her touch quickening his pulse.

"Thanks Thane," she offered gently, looking up at him. She held his gaze as he slowly tilted his head to one side in acknowledgement.

Reluctantly, he took a couple of steps backwards and their hands slid apart.

It felt like she didn't want him to leave, or maybe that was just his desire to stay by her side. Either way she didn't take her eyes off him until he turned away. As he made his way to the door he heard the two humans talking.

"Well it looks like you have another scar to add to your collection, Commander."

"Hah, yeah that's pretty much what Grunt said."

"Seriously though, it's not like you to need patching up like this."

"Hmm, it's been a while hasn't it?"

"Since before you died I believe!"

The door closed on the doctors dark chuckle and Thane paused only long enough in Life Support to stow his weapons before returning to the mess hall. As he did so he passed Grunt waiting by the lift.

"Grunt." Thane nodded.

"Drell." The krogan grinned.

Thane had long given up hoping Grunt would learn his name.

In the mess Garrus was reassuring Miranda all was well before she ducked back into her quarters. Word travelled around the ship faster than the Normandy's FTL drive took them across the galaxy and some of the team were already hovering around a table, apart from Kasumi who was in hiding right behind Garrus. At Thane's pointed stare she de-cloaked, huffed and joined Jack, Zaeed and Tali. The drell always made a mental note to keep watch for that barely perceptible tell tale shimmer of a cloaked Kasumi wherever he went on the Normandy. Jacob had left with a scowl as soon as Thane arrived.

He couldn't understand this crew sometimes. He understood the Commander ran a relaxed regime and welcomed the crew's input, but to allow Garrus to berate her like that seemed extreme. Then again, the turian clearly needed to let off steam, better with her than the rest of the ship. She had done the same for Zaeed after his mission on Zorya hadn't quite gone to plan. Zaeed had waited twenty years to get his revenge on Vido Santiago. The man had betrayed Zaeed and shot him in the face after they co-founded the Blue Suns together many years ago. The mission on Zorya had come to an end when Shepard had insisted Zaeed let Vido go in order to save the innocent civilian workers at the Eldfell-Ashland Energy Refinery. But rather than liberate the refinery from the Blue Suns, Zaeed blew it up after the civilians were all safe. Grunt and Jack had also let off plenty of steam at the Commander for various reasons and Shepard accepted it all.

Even so Garrus was a turian, part of a military race renowned for respecting the hierarchy of a command structure without question, and here he was actually yelling at his Commander. Having said that Garrus wasn't a typical turian. A natural renegade to begin with, he had spent many years working alongside humans. But what really galled Thane was the lack of sympathy Garrus and Grunt showed over the pain their Commander was clearly in. Ok, the krogans attitude was cultural and they didn't feel pain in the same way other species did. But the turian was Shepard's friend. He cared about her, usually, anyway. Yet he had berated her like she was nothing more than a cadet. Thane did agree Shepard had been careless, thoughtless, even, but though he had not known the Commander long, he suspected this was out of character for her. Yes, you could describe her as swift and certainly loud on the battlefield, but never careless.

The team at the table appeared absorbed in their drinks, the floor, the bulkheads as Thane approached Garrus, who stood by the steps leading to the Main Battery, his arms folded as he watched Shepard and Chakwas through the med bay window.

He sighed as Thane joined him. "You must think me an awful turian. I suppose I shouldn't have shouted."

"No." Thane agreed, mildly.

Garrus rounded on him, "Oh come on, you were there, she…" he looked around, dropping his voice to a hiss, "messed up!"

"This… disappoints you?"

"No. Well, yes. Maybe. Oh, I don't know. Scared the hell out of me more like. When that damn krogan appeared, then seeing her get slammed into the wall like that…" Garrus trailed off with a shake of his head.

"Yes," Thane nodded, "it was frightening." Garrus eyed him and Thane asked, "Has this happened before? Has Shepard…"

"No, never," Garrus said quickly. "Not even after Horizon."

"One of the human colonies hit by the Collectors?"

"Hmm," was all Garrus offered, mandibles tightening against his mouth briefly.

"Did she seem ok to you last night? I've, uh, noticed Shepard has been spending a lot of time with you recently."

"Has she?" Thane knew this to be true of course but hadn't considered it to be noteworthy. She spent time with many aboard the Normandy. He briefly reviewed his evening with the Commander and wondered if he may somehow be partly responsible for Shepard's poor performance today. "Hmm, perhaps I upset Shepard more than I realised."

"Upset her?" Garrus looked at him suspiciously.

"She informed me this morning I had, annoyed her last night. More specifically I had, to use her words, pissed her off a little. But she assured me everything was still fine between us."

"Go on," Garrus said darkly.

"She had mentioned today's mission and we spoke a little about tactics. I suggested a subtle infiltration to plant the explosive would suffice."

At that Garrus chuckled. "Oh I bet she liked that. Shepard is not known for battlefield subtlety. She likes to go in hard and, as she puts it, make sure all the trash is taken out, especially when it comes to slavers."

"Hmm… then do you think she was perhaps trying to make a point?"

"And fell on her ass doing it!" Garrus laughed. "Honestly, no actually, she's not that stupid. I think she's been pushing herself a bit too hard recently and needs a break. She's hardly stood still this past week," he turned to Thane, "and don't worry, drell, I'm pretty sure your still her favourite person on the Normandy." He grinned, turning back to watch what little was going on in the med bay as Shepard and the doctor spoke silently.

"I am?" This pleased Thane far more than he was willing to admit even to himself. "I don't like to think she would take risks just because of something I have said."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry. She was probably just in a hurry to get the first round in when we hit Omega. If not, she sure will be now!" Garrus grinned. "She owes us, and anyway, I've never seen her make the same mistake twice. I don't think it will happen again. I'd say this was a lesson learned."

"Then I take it you have calmed down somewhat now, Garrus?"

The turian chuckled, sighed, then nodded.

Gardener appeared with a mug of tea for each of them. Thane nodded his gratitude for the popular asari blend. For Garrus, it was a turian tea only he enjoyed. The rest of the crew described it in many colourful ways, most popularly 'muck' and 'revolting.'

"Oh thanks, Gardener." Garrus smiled, taking his mug.

No one spoke for a while but when the Mess Seargent began to say something Garrus cut him off with an absent, "Not now."

Gardener shrugged and ambled away as Garrus leaned towards Thane, asking, "What do you think they're talking about in there?"

Behind them Gardener settled back into his usual spot, leaning against the kitchen cupboards, arms folded, muttering, "Back to work."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three.**

_Pink Elephants, Green Trees._

Thane woke later than usual, pushing away the crystal clarity of confusion from dreams he might analyze later. He thanked the Gods for the longer course his life had been granted. He wondered what plans they had for him to have placed his feet into the water's edge at the shores of his passing, only to snatch him away and give his body back to its life.

_Siha._

He took a deep breath, a reminder that he could again, to calm himself. No more would this simple action cause him to cough until his throat burned, his inadequate lungs hitching spasms across his chest until the lack of oxygen made him dizzy, the deprived muscles in his legs forcing him to his knees.

His eyes remained closed and Thane willingly gave himself in to his emotions. A single, cold, empty grief settled upon him, as it did every morning now. Calmly he reached for an antidote.

_Fluid. As one we move together. She is a colourful beacon of red and blue fire, working with my rapid precision kills_. _Our timing is perfect._ _Then the orange thunder. A rocket! "Shepard!" Too late. She is thrown by the concussive wave as she barely dodges the explosion. I unleash my fury! Throwing the merc, slamming him down. His body broken, he is gone to the sea. I turn, seconds wasted frozen with fear before I run to her. Her eyes, blinking, stunned. Only stunned. Her reassuring smile. My overwhelming relief._

Thane held on to the memory of that feeling for a long time before finally opening his eyes to accept the day. He sat up, reached for his omni-tool - no messages. After dressing he forced himself to eat before passively allowing the doctors to monitor his progress. He received a smile from Doctor Chloe Michel in answer to the question he didn't need to ask, for he knew his health was improving daily.

Here was another person whose life had been touched by his Siha for the better. When the human doctor had been running a small clinic on the wards a turian friend of hers had joined forces with Shepard -back when she was in command of the SR1- to get rid of some thugs Doctor Michel was having trouble with. Shepard would one day go on to describe that turian as her 'best mate'. How that had confused Thane until he realised humans had different types of 'mates'.

"Doctor Michel," he said to the woman whose care he had only recently been transferred to, "I'm not sure if you're aware, Garrus arrived on the Citadel yesterday."

"Yes, I saw him last night, actually," she smiled. "He asked after you. I believe you had gone for a walk with your son. Let us hope all our friends return home soon," offered Doctor Michel with a smile, before leaving to continue with her rounds.

Thane agreed wholeheartedly. But hope seemed difficult to cling to and he didn't know why. He was no cynic by any means, but he wasn't very well practiced in optimism either. Thane only knew he must try.

It was tempting to slip into happy memories of his too brief a time with Siha but he feared he may simply loose himself forever right at this moment. He feared his desire to. He owed Kolyat the father he had lost for ten years and then fought a lonely vigil on Thane's behalf for so many months, waiting, yet again, for his father to return to him. If for no other reason than that, Thane left his room. He would spend some time in the gym, something he had neglected in many days and then he would return to what had become the only daily vigil the assassin had ever undertaken without his rifle.

It could have been minutes. It felt like weeks. Somehow she had managed to drag her broken body a few inches at a time, either passing out from the pain or simply laying there, exhausted, until sleep took her. Eventually she had managed to prop herself into a corner between the bulkhead and a curved strut. The first thing she did was reach for her water pouch, draining it empty before fighting hard against the nausea threatening to finish the job of ripping her insides apart.

It was another tough fight to work her omni-tool. Finding the strength to flick it on was just the first hurdle. The success of seeing the orange glow wrapped around her arm galvanised her to keep going. Her eyes were so used to the gloom around her that the glow was almost too bright. It was awkward to say the least. Clutching her left wrist was only possible for brief seconds. The simple action nearly cut off her air supply and felt as if knives were being forced deeper into her chest. She gritted her teeth and dragged her left arm up and across her lap. It shot a vicious pain across her back, but the arm was mostly numb now, fingers tingling with sharp electrical currents. A bearable agony, though she couldn't stop the tears trickling down her cheeks.

Eventually she discovered she had two packs of Medi-gel left and emptied one into her system. Her vision cleared and the pain dulled around the edges. With her torturous thirst sated, and sitting up helping to ease her shallow breathing somewhat, the dire circumstances she was in were made almost tolerable and she set about assessing her condition. Unable to move the omni-tool far enough to scan more than her torso, what she did discover was enough to believe she was as good as dead and wonder why she wasn't dead already. She took the news philosophically enough and just hoped it would end soon. The thought of returning to the nothingness she came from the last time she died was once a terror she hated thinking about. Now, however, it was still better than this. She hoped, had to believe, Thane would be waiting for her. She was ready to cross the sea. Like Thane, she was ready to accept her death.

It was difficult to believe there was anyone left and the thought of giving herself away to the enemy almost stopped her trying to send a message. She didn't even know who to try to contact so decided to send something to everyone on her list. She couldn't type but hoped a blank message might at least alert someone to the fact she was still alive, if barely. It wasn't rescue she really sought - this seemed pointless. More of a chance to say goodbye, perhaps? She wasn't sure. Either way it was futile, an error message alerted her to a problem she didn't have the dexterity or energy to resolve, the outside world was to remain unreachable to her after all.

She looked at the view, not a bad last vista to enjoy before a person died. Anderson thought so anyway. She had dreamed of him and closed her eyes trying to remember it. Anderson, the Illusive Man, the smoky shadow people and the little boy. Some images she had seen in her dreams many times before, some more recently, all of them mixed up together. She couldn't remember it and decided she didn't really want to, after all.

For a long time she watched a dead Reaper drifting slowly in front of the planet. It wasn't much bigger than the size of her thumb from her perspective, but having studied the Reaper until it was again camouflaged by the blackness of space, she was sure of one thing. The Reapers were dead. Ok, that one was, may as well go the whole hog and decide all the bastards were dead!

She had, at various points, watched many dead ships aimlessly floating by. Turian, asari, quarian, maybe other Reapers too. She had held her breath for a long time, waiting to witness that Reaper's red laser of destruction unleash from between its claws. But nothing happened. It looked like a big dead bug, A parasite, no longer able to suck the universe dry of all its evolved biology.

But if the Reapers were dead, where were all the people? The search parties, her crew, the Normandy?

_It doesn't matter. Not a damn thing I can do about it anymore._

She knew these were her final hours and just hoped she was leaving the world

a better place, just as Thane had done. At least he would be waiting for her.

On a sudden whim she slowly manoeuvred her omni-tool into position, next to her useless hand on her thigh. It had switched itself off but she managed to shake it on again and empty the rest of the Medi-gel she carried into her system. It wasn't enough to OD on, but it might put her into a deep sleep she wouldn't wake from. Breathing a rattling sigh, she enjoyed the absence of pain for the first time in as long as she could remember. It relaxed muscles she didn't even know were so badly knotted. Staring blankly at the Earth, she tried to remember those fleeting happy times in her life.

Shepard loved padding around the Normandy when most of the team were sleeping. She would walk the decks to see who she might bump into while enjoying the peace and solitude. Increasingly she found herself visiting Thane in Life Support.

_Oh, the irony of putting a dying man in Life Support!_

She was drawn to the mysterious drell, the first of his kind Shepard had ever met, learning a little bit more about him each time they talked. She had experienced his eidetic memory, native to his species, a few times now and enjoyed it when he shared a memory with her. It was fascinating though it must be quite a blessing and a curse. Perhaps, more of a curse in his profession.

After helping his son Koylat, Thane had opened up to her even more, telling her about his wife Irika, insisting she and Irika would have liked each other very much. He also shared many tales of Koylat as a little boy. Shepard couldn't imagine how Thane lived with the perfect memory of finding his wife raped and beaten to death. It made her shiver. If Thane hadn't already tracked her killers down she would be sending the Normandy after the bastards herself. Shepard had talked people out of revenge killings in the past, but this would be an exception. One thing she was keen to discover, however, was what, exactly, this Dance Crazy thing was all about. But tonight, like the last few nights, Shepard only made it as far as the mess hall. She intended to make herself a coffee as quietly as possible before slipping back to her cabin, or 'the loft' as it had been nicknamed by the Cerberus techs who built the SR2.

Shepard was avoiding Thane. Ever since they, well she, got a little drunk, well shit-faced, on Omega and Thane had to practically carry her back to the Normandy. This was just a day after he had carried her off that merc base where she had stupidly run into that damn krogan. All was well the day after shore leave and she certainly wasn't alone in suffering a hangover. Joker, Zaeed and Jack all looked how she felt, like death warmed up. Over breakfast the sniggering team had alluded to a few things she couldn't remember. She was able, as always, to shoot back at the lightweights how she had been the last one standing. It wasn't strictly true, Thane had been the last one standing, while she staggered and wobbled all over the place. Fortunately he seemed happy to not mention this, and she hadn't felt too awkward thanking him for dumping her safely onto her bed and covering her with a blanket. This assassin, who preferred to kill with his bare hands, was quite the gentleman. They all had a good night letting their hair down, those among them who had hair, which was obviously just the humans, apart from Jack.

As soon as the hangover wore off Shepard felt refreshed and ready to face the next challenges ahead. It was all fine until she had popped back onto the mushroom shaped space station and Aria T'Loak, Queen of Omega, well, some of it anyway, had thanked her for an entertaining evening. It seems, after the crew sensibly left before they fell over, Shepard was only just getting in the party mood. Having sat Thane down in front of an exotic dancer, thinking she needed to pay the asari to look after him while she went to the bathroom, she promptly forgot about him. Thane had eventually found her with a group of krogans, one of whom she'd just head butted. That had gone down well, but threatening to cut off his quads and juggle them seemed to have taken the pissing contest too far and Thane had to drag her away by the scruff of the neck before she started a bar fight.

"And I'd like to thank you for dealing with that annoying little turian."

T'Loak had smirked, watching the Commander quietly. "Er, annoying little turian?" Shepard was forced to ask.

Apparently, an inebriated turian had been bothering some of the dancers, to the point where one of Aria's batarian guards was about to throw him out of Afterlife. Before he could, Shepard waded in, hauling the poor turian by a mandible to the clubs exit, banging on the door, asking why they had been locked in and demanding to be let out. Unfortunately, it wasn't the main door to Afterlife, as Shepard had thought, but the locked door to Aria's private suite. The batarian guard was laughing so hard, the confused turian managed to slip away.

"I think that turian believed he had finally got lucky for a moment," Aria commented, throwing her head back in a mocking laugh, "but even funnier, then you hit the dance floor."

"Oh. I danced..." Shepard winced.

"Is that what you call it? I see. I had assumed the alcohol was having some kind of strange effect on your limbs. I had no idea you were trying to dance!"

T'Loak was eager to continue her dripping sarcasm, but Shepard had made her excuses and beat a hasty retreat away from the asari's shark like grin, pushing past Jack and Miranda, only one of whom was trying, at least, to hide her mirth.

Apologising to Thane just made it worse, not knowing exactly what she was apologising for. His contained amusement, probably at being able to remember every second in every embarrassing detail, made Shepard squirm and sent her scuttling away, cheeks burning. Especially when Thane suggested perhaps she had been spiked again. As if being fooled by someone else, twice, was any better than making a total fool of herself! Only the day before Shepard had taken him and Garrus into battle and nearly got them killed in some half-assed pretence at being a soldier. Why they had forgiven her for screwing up like that she still didn't know.

Why Thane being witness to her rare drunken shenanigans bothered her so much was also a pertinent question. Alliance all her adult life, she had partied harder than that in her time as a marine, and had been carried home by many a crew mate. It was always something to just cringe about a little, and laugh about a lot the next morning. For some reason, this time she felt somewhat shamed, ok, mortified, to know Thane had seen this rarer side to her personality. So, apart from when he joined forces with her for Tali's trial, Shepard had been avoiding him.

"Well, hello, Commander." Ken Donnelly's sudden chirpy Scottish brogue, made Shepard spill coffee grounds all over the counter.

"Shit!"

"Sorry Commander, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's ok, Ken," she muttered, wiping the coffee into the sink with a dry cloth. She looked at the Normandy's Power Engineer over her shoulder, doing a double take and laughed. "That's what you sleep in, Donnelly?"

"What? It's my favourite Blasto the Jellyfish t-shirt. What's wrong with it?"

"It's just, I dunno, I never really saw pink as your colour."

Ken rolled his eyes with a grin. "It's Blasto! Look," he turned to show the large image wrapping around one side of the t-shirt into tentacles at the back.

"Right," Shepard nodded also grinning.

"Anyway, I just popped out to get a glass of water. Want a hand cleaning up Commander?"

"No thanks Ken, I got it."

The Scot quickly filled a glass and got out of Shepard's way as he took a long drink. "Aye, that's better," he grinned. "Need anything Commander?"

"No, you get back to bed. Thanks."

"Aye, all right. I'm going to be spending most of my time crawling around the maintenance shafts in the morning so will need my shuteye."

"Problem?" Shepard asked, instantly regretting the question.

"Oh nothing to concern you, Commander," he told her then explained, using lots of words Shepard vaguely recognised but didn't understand the meaning of, and probably wouldn't be able to spell a number of them. Without Gabby around to translate she was left thoroughly blinded by engineering science. Ken finally said, "So It'll all help to get the Normandy ready to go kick those Collectors in their daddy-bags, Commander." With that he bid her a cheery goodnight.

Forgetting she had intended to return to her cabin, Shepard took her coffee to a mess table to review the pad Miranda had given her earlier, forcing herself to read through the latest list of suggestions and 'helpful advice'. Most of which had something to do with curbing the team's downtime fun and 'encourage a calmer perspective on the difficulties that lie ahead'. And Joker said Garrus had a stick up his ass? Miranda meant their forthcoming mission to secure the IFF, which would hopefully give them safe passage through the Omega 4 relay and a straight run at the Collector base. Shepard already knew she would want to reject everything on Miranda's list, but somehow always felt the need to find one thing she could discuss as a possibility, before rejecting this too. If this appeased Miranda she couldn't tell, the Cerberus woman was a veritable fort, with actual crocodiles swimming around her moat.

"Hey Shep." Kasumi said, gliding towards her, a big smile on her face.

"Oh, hell! You made me jump!" Shepard huffed.

"Oh? And I wasn't even cloaked."

Shepard shook her head with a smile, pleased with the distraction. "Join me?"

Kasumi sat next to Shepard, bringing her knees up under her chin and wrapping her arms around her ankles. "So, you're up late, and alone? No Thane?"

"Uh," Shepard looked back at her pad, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"I haven't heard you going into Life Support for a few days now."

As Kasumi was Thane's neighbour it seemed a reasonable observation. Having said that she seemed to be the all seeing eye of the Normandy, cloaking to listen in on conversations, not that she had admitted this up front exactly. It wouldn't surprise Shepard if she knew more about the private lives of the Normandy's crew than EDI. Kasumi was the new scuttlebutt.

Grinning, Shepard teased, "And here was me thinking I only had one mother hen on the ship to keep tabs on me."

Kasumi eyed Miranda's quarters briefly and smiled. "So, have you and Thane fallen out or something?"

"No, course not, I've just been busy. I've not popped in to see you either have I?"

Shepard was pleased with herself until Kasumi said, "Oh? I thought that was because you were avoiding going past Life Support."

Shepard shook her head in mild exasperation, thumbing through her pad without reading it.

Kasumi continued, "You must know he likes you, right?"

Shepard's head snapped up, "What?"

"Thane, he really likes you, I can tell."

"Yes, well," she grinned, playing along, "I'm sure any chances I had there I've now blown thanks to the last shore leave. If I was interested, which I'm not!"

Kasumi laughed lightly, "You can't fool me, Shep."

Shepard rolled her eyes, silently thanking Miranda for the list. If nothing else it made a nice prop to look busy with.

"Anyway," Kasumi continued, "I wouldn't worry about the other night, everyone had fun, even Thane."

"He said that?"

"No, but I could tell," she winked. "You really like him, don't you?"

Shepard huffed, "You're so bored you've taken to playing Cupid now?"

"Oh please, I've told you, you can't fool me." Kasumi's eyes sparkled playfully from the shadows of her hood.

Shepard huffed again, and sipped her coffee.

"What's wrong, Shep? It's not Kaidan is it?"

She blinked at Kasumi, "How the hell do you know about... Oh never mind. No it's not Kaidan. He's history."

Kasumi nodded in acceptance and asked, "So what wrong? It's not because Thane's dying is it?"

"What? No! How can you think that? No, that's got nothing to do with it."

"Aha!" Kasumi's grin was victorious having teased more information from Shepard than she had wanted to give.

"You, Kasumi Goto, are a manipulative..."

"Yes?" She smiled along with Shepard, who just shook her head and sighed.

"Never mind!" Shepard sat back. "I dunno, I suppose you might be right. But, I don't have time for that stuff right now, and anyway, he probably thinks I'm a complete idiot."

Kasumi shook her head seriously, "Oh, no Shep. You should go and talk to him," her knowing smile appeared again, "you'll see I'm right. I don't think you dancing with that batarian put Thane off at all!"

"I did what? Actually no, never mind, I do not want to know!"

"Aww." Kasumi playfully pouted.

"Honestly, you're worse than Mordin trying to match-make."

"Mordin?" It wasn't often something surprised Kasumi.

"Yeah, only he took all the romance out of it," she giggled, "and he told me Thane might be, er, mildly poisonous. Something about a rash and mild hallucinogenic euphoria, for me anyway."

"Really? Ooh, sounds like fun!"

"He was kidding!"

"Ah. Mordin told you this or did you look it up?"

Shepard leaned forward over her pad quietly admitting, "Yeah, ok, I looked it up."

Kasumi laughed, lightly touching Shepard's arm for a moment.

"Anyway," Shepard whispered, conspiratorially, "I'm pretty sure he's not into mammals. He told me once he found my hair a bit, strange."

"No stranger than you might find his scales, I suppose, but you still like him, right? I'm sure he's quite keen to explore... all your hair!"

Shepard choked on her coffee in a fit of giggles.

With a wide grin on her face she was about to concede she was wasting her time looking at her pad when, from right behind them, Thane's voice asked, "Am I disturbing you ladies?"

Shepard jumped, dropping the pad onto the table with a sharp clatter, and promptly slopped coffee all over it. "Shit what is it with you people creeping around this damn ship? Can't any of you..." She trailed off with a sigh as Thane retrieved a cloth from next to the sink, shaking it free of coffee grains, before wiping her pad and the table.

"My apologies, Shepard. I didn't mean to make you jump."

"No, it's ok, I'm sorry for snapping. I guess I was miles away, or something." She could see Kasumi pressing her lips together out of the corner of her eye, and while Thane rinsed the cloth, she gave Kasumi a wide eyed questioning look. _How much did he hear?_

Kasumi smirked and shook her head slightly. Shepard hoped that meant 'nothing' rather than 'I have no idea'.

"Would anyone like a hot drink?" Thane asked.

"I'm ok thanks," Shepard mumbled, eyes glued to the pad she had hastily taken from Thane, once it was dry again.

"Not for me either thanks Thane. I'm going to..."

Kasumi was cut off by Shepard grabbing her wrist before she could get up. "Don't you dare leave now!" She hissed. "Anyway, we both know you're just going to cloak and lurk in a corner to listen, so you may as well stay and be honest about it."

"Sorry Shep, but I'm going to bed. I know when threes a crowd." Kasumi stood, winked at Shepard, impervious to her half pleading, half murderous look. "Night, Thane. Come see me later." With a wave she was gone.

Shepard gave up on her pad and threw it on the table in disgust. Realising this ship was too small to avoid anyone forever, she decided to just sit it out, hoping she might stop feeling like a complete idiot in Thane's presence if she hung around long enough.

_Let's call it exposure therapy, like for people who have for phobias of things, such as snakes and lizards and... Ok, that was so the wrong thing to think. Quads, what the hell is wrong with me?_

"Would you like some company, Shepard, or would you rather I left you in peace?"

"Uh, oh, no stay, if you want to." She smiled at her coffee mug, unable to make eye contact with him.

Thane sat opposite, placing his tea down, hands clasped together above the table as he leaned on his elbows. Always so damn cool and collected. What Shepard wouldn't give to have that kind of inner calm and outer control.

"May I ask you a question Shepard?"

_Oh hell no, please don't ask me anything, especially not about the other night!_

"Sure," she smiled.

"You are Captain of the Normandy, yes?"

"Gee, it's taken you that long to work it out, Krios?" She teased, smiling over clenched teeth and forcing herself to look at him.

"I was wondering why everyone calls you Commander? I hadn't considered it before, until you explained to Captain Kar'Danna, when we docked with the Migrant Fleet, you didn't quite make it to Captain."

"Oh, I see, fair point." Shepard explained her sudden shift from being the SR1's XO to its Commander so she, as a newly appointed Council Spectre, could go after Saren. "After that, if being dead for two years didn't screw my chances of promotion, returning in a Cerberus uniform sure did."

"I see," was all Thane offered, sipping his tea.

When they both spoke at once Thane quickly ceded, but she shook her head insisting he go first. She only spoke to fill in an awkward silence, anyway.

"I was just going to commend you on your speech at Tali's trial."

"Speech? It wasn't exactly a speech, not really. I just said what I had to," she shrugged.

"What you said Shepard ensured Tali was found not guilty. Your words were… inspiring. It can't have been easy finding a way to defend Tali so eloquently, while keeping the secrets we discovered about her father's work on the geth. Yet you did. Tali is a very fortunate woman to have a friend like you."

Wishing her cheeks didn't feel so hot, Shepard none the less enjoyed the compliment from this man, and offered him a more relaxed smile. "Thanks, though that goes both ways. Tali is a good friend."

"Of course. She speaks highly of you."

"You've been talking to Tali about me?"

Thane smiled, "You are a difficult subject to avoid, Shepard." Before she could ask what he meant by this he added, "I've not seen you for a few days."

"Uh, yeah, been busy," she offered, lamely.

"Hmm, Kasumi mentioned something about not seeing you, either."

"Ah, right?"

"Yes," he sipped his tea. "She said you were avoiding me after shore leave."

"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" Shepard muttered, dropping her head into her hands, unsure if the small smile she had caught playing on Thane's lips was a good thing or not. With a deep sigh she sat up and composed herself. "I guess I should apologise..."

"You already did," his smile was wider now, but kind, "and there was no need the first two times. But I am unsure why you have been avoiding me?"

Pulling a face she said, "I just don't like making a fool of myself, believe it or not."

"Shepard, you haven't."

"It's just, that's how we party. If the Alliance taught me anything it's that we fight hard so we can party harder."

_I can _not _believe I just said that!_

"I have observed Alliance marines many times. I'm not unaccustomed to the leisure habits of soldiers, and I was not shocked by anything that happened during our shore leave. I am not naïve, Shepard."

"Oh hell, no, I realised that, that's not what I was trying to suggest. It's just that you're so... um..."

"Yes?" He encouraged.

"I dunno, proper."

"Proper?"

"Ok, proper really isn't the right word. I mean, controlled. Uh, oh quads it's too late for this. I should be sleeping," she huffed, shaking her head and staring down at her hands glumly, wondering what the hell her problem was, and avoiding the obvious answer.

Thane considered a moment, then gently told her, "Shepard, just because I don't show my emotions it doesn't mean I don't have any. For what it's worth, I had a lot of fun on Omega with you."

"You did? Really?"

"Yes." Thane smiled. "I've, always enjoyed your company."

Shepard bit down on her cheeks to stop herself grinning too widely, "Thanks. I'm glad. I like hanging out with you, too."

Thane casually put his palms on the table, and not for the first time, Shepard wanted to touch his middle bonded fingers.

"I want you to know, Shepard, I do very much enjoy spending time with you, and I hope you will not be avoiding my company in the future."

It was a simple kindness between friends, nothing more, but she couldn't help blushing again. "I've missed you, too, Thane."

_Seriously? I had to say that?!_

"Uh, so, I guess that's the second time you have seen me out of it," she winced inwardly, wondering how big a hole she would be digging for herself before the night was over.

"Third."

She frowned for a moment. "Oh hell, I forgot about the turian bartender on the Citadel."

"I believe you impressed him with your tolerance for ryncol."

"Tolerance?" She snorted, "I passed out!"

Thane chuckled. "Ah, yes, true. Though not before you had made it to the men's at least."

"The men's? Was it? Oh hell!"

"Yes, the turian in there at the time wasn't too pleased."

"Oh quads," she giggled, embarrassed.

"However, I think your right; it was only the two times. It would be unfair to include the time you were spiked on Omega. That was quite worrying."

"Yeah tell me about it. Although, I think I went a bit too far in killing that bartender."

"Really? I wouldn't worry about it, Shepard. I have a feeling someone would have killed the batarian sooner rather than later. If not someone else, that turian at the bar seemed a likely candidate to me."

"You think so?"

"I do." Thane nodded. Changing the subject he asked, "How are your injuries?"

"Oh, fine thanks. Shoulder's still a bit sore, but it's all healing nicely."

"Good." Thane held her gaze for long moments before she dragged her eyes down to his hands again.

"I've been wondering," she said, "do you count your fused fingers as one or two?"

"Two, of course, otherwise we drell would have less fingers to count on," he grinned.

Shepard didn't know if he was teasing or not, so, lifting a palm towards him, fingers pressed together she said, "Well you can't do this," she opened her middle fingers in a 'V' shape, to form what many of her Earth ancestors would have described as, a 'Vulcan salute'.

"Hmm," rumbled Thane, I suspect many humans couldn't do that either. I wonder what other hidden talents you have Shepard."

She laughed tightly, unsure if he was teasing or flirting with her. Hoping it was the latter made her feel uncomfortable, so she changed the subject. "So, um, I meant to apologise for earlier today. Jacob at mess time? I didn't hear what he said but I caught the attitude."

Thane waved a hand, "Please do not trouble yourself. I am grateful for your concern but there is no need. Jacobs Taylor's attitude doesn't bother me at all."

"You sure? Just that you shot out of here pretty quick."

"I didn't leave because of Taylor's comments. As I have told you before, Shepard, I am unaccustomed to working with groups. I am getting used to it now, but there are still times I will seek solitude."

"Yeah I guess we can be a pretty boisterous lot at times," she smiled. "It's just harmless fun, mostly. It's good for morale and considering what were facing it's important the crew have a chance to relax." As she looked into Thane's big eyes she suddenly felt the weight of their task ahead. The enormity of that first word in their so called 'suicide mission'. Time suddenly seemed so short and she wanted to take Thane's hand, feel his arms around her again, just as she had that day he carried her back to the shuttle.

"Ah then, that would explain the dress."

"Uh," she blinked, embarrassed by her own thoughts, "the dress?"

"Garrus has been telling me about some of your adventures."

"Oh I bet he has!" She smirked. "There have been quite a few of those over the years."

"So it would seem. He told me you appeared here in the mess, after returning from helping Kasumi on a personal matter, allowing the crew to mock your appearance, despite your discomfort in your attire."

_Now what would I say if he asked to see the dress? Could he even be attracted to mammals? Kasumi said... actually no never mind what Kasumi said. Why am I even thinking like this?_

"You should have come out to see Thane. Now you know why hanging bells around your neck seemed a perfectly natural thing to do," she laughed through gritted teeth. "You must think us animals."

_Mammals._

"Hmm," Thane smiled. "I had hoped it was a simple initiation. But perhaps I should be more on my guard."

Shepard sniggered, "You're an assassin, Krios. I suspect you're never off your guard."

He continued smiling, but offered no comment.

After a moment Shepard said, "Y'know, most of my crew, they aren't just crew, they're friends, more than friends..."

_Oh no way! I seriously don't wanna be going there, again!_

"Er, I mean, like family. We care about each other, uh..."

Thane nodded, "I can see how one could grow to love the people they work with," he stared at his hands for a moment. "Shepard, you have allowed me to share many memories with you. You seem… fascinated… if that's the right word?"

She looked at him, nodding. "You're a fascinating person, Thane. Your ability to recall memories and the way you share them is just one aspect."

"Hmm, Interesting."

"Oh?"

"I have found in the past sometimes other races are, put off, by drell recall, but not you, Shepard."

"No, not at all. It's all part of the interesting person I see before me."

_Ok, now I'm flirting with him. Need to stop before I embarrass myself, yet again._

Thane searched her face as if for signs of insincerity or humour before he replied, "You are very kind."

"So are you, Thane," she blurted. "You're a really nice guy. You're the kind man who, er..."

He raised his brow, "Go on."

Shepard's cheeks flushed hotly. "Uh, who, maybe should have had, I dunno, a bit less crap in his life," she finished lamely.

_Ok now would be an awesome time for the Normandy to run into an asteroid or something._

Thane blinked, his brow furrowed. "Do not feel sorry for me, Shepard."

"I don't. That's not how I feel about you, at all..." Shepard literally bit down on her tongue.

Realising she wasn't going to offer anymore, Thane said, "You are a complex woman and difficult to understand, Shepard..."

"I am?"

"But I am enjoying getting to know you."

"You are?"

"Of course."

"I dunno why," she laughed. "I nearly throw you into a bar fight with a bunch of krogan, and made you watch an exotic dancer."

Thane laughed, "The dancer was quite pleasant."

She grinned. "Or I'm just opening my mouth to change feet."

Thane stared blankly at her for a moment. "Now there's a humanism I've never heard."

"Really?" Shepard explained the phrase, realising her hands were flat on the table either side of his, nearly touching. She felt like a giddy schoolgirl, which was weird because she had never been a giddy anything in her life, not sober anyway. Kaidan had certainly never made her feel this way in his presence.

"I meant to tell you Shepard, the reason I left the mess so abruptly this evening," Thane's smile widened, "I received another message from Koylat."

"You did? How is he?"

"He seems to be thriving under Captain Bailey's watchful eye."

"That's good to hear. We'll get some time on the Citadel soon so you can see him again."

"I would very much appreciate that, thank you. What you have done for Koylat and I," he placed his hand over hers, "is beyond measure."

Shepard's grin was fixed in place as she tried to compute what he was saying.

_His hand! He needs to move his hand so I can concentrate. I hope he doesn't move his hand._

Realising she needed to stop gawping at him, she was relieved by the even sound of her voice when she spoke, "I'm just pleased to see it's all working out for you guys." She spun her hand under his without realising it was going to happen, and they were holding hands.

_Whatthe!?_

"So we will be going after the IFF soon?" He asked.

"Soon, there's a few things to do first." Was her voice higher than normal all of a sudden?

_I know, let's just carry on chatting like were not holding hands, shall we?_

Finally they both looked at their entwined hands, and Shepard ran her thumb along the back of his joined fingers, surprised by the softness of his scales.

"Don't worry," she told him, "there will be a few more opportunities to see Koylat yet before we take it to the Collectors. And I know were all calling it a suicide mission, but there is no way am I going to lose anyone. I will make damn sure we all come out of this alive!"

Thane simply nodded.

_Is he going to mention this hand holding thing then? 'Cos I'm not and I hate that whole pink elephant in the room stuff. Or in this case, green hand holding drell stuff._

_Christmas tree!_

Shepard snorted lightly at her own thoughts. Pressing her lips together she grabbed her coffee with her free hand to hide her mirth behind the mug. She took a big gulp of coffee. Pulling a face she said, "Oh quads that's disgusting!" Dumping the offending mug back down, Shepard was disappointed to realise she had pulled her hand away from his without meaning to.

"There's something the matter with your coffee?"

"Yeah, yuk, it's gone cold. Hell, I wanna claw my tongue out now," she wrinkled her nose at the aftertaste.

Thane shook his head as if to shake her insanity inducing behaviour away. "I, thought you liked coffee? You often call it nectar, especially in the morning."

"Yeah, but not when it's gone cold!" She rolled her eyes at him.

"So," Thane tried to understand, "hot coffee is very welcome, but as soon as the temperature cools it becomes, vile?"

She nodded, "Exactly. Don't you..." Shepard trailed off, staring at him in wide eyed surprise, when she witnessed something she had never seen from the contained drell before. He threw his head back and laughed as if this was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

She smiled at the memory of Thane's rare unguarded mirth, proud to have been the one who caused it, however unwittingly. That was the only time she could remember him laughing like that.

_And I still went back to my cabin that night wondering if he liked me or not. Doh!_

Still grinning she looked at the fuzzy ball of blue and white. Her shallow breathing began to slow down and her peripheral vision faded, tunnelling in a slowly decreasing grey ring which framed the blurry planet outside. No longer able to see properly, she closed her eyes to that view for the very last time.

It was strange to see so many familiar faces, gathered in a place Thane had spent so many solitary hours in. Stranger still, where once he might have felt intruded upon, now it was deeply comforting. Jack, Kasumi and Mordin were already waiting for him in the patient lounge, and after Jacob had popped by to see if there was any more news and show off some images of his baby, Garrus surprised them by arriving with another team member.

"Doctor T'Soni!" Thane greeted, standing.

"Thane!" The asari's blue face lit up and before he realised what was happening she was hugging him.

It was a nice, if unexpected, way to greet someone one barely knew. Thane hugged her back, a little awkwardly at first, then as warmly as the doctor. He was pleased to see Liara. He had only met her twice before, but Shepard had told him a great deal about the archaeologist with a penchant for anything prothean, and it was difficult not to think of her as a familiar presence.

Reintroducing herself to the others she sat next to Garrus on the floor, both refusing Thane's offer of his seat. The group shared what little they knew over the status of those still missing. The only new information was Liara's friend Feron was among the missing. Liara described the current devastated state of Whitehall on Earth, where she had spent the last few days. Thane simply listened as they all reiterated what they knew, until their voices began to fade away.

_Irika, laying in her own blood, abused, beaten, dead. Siha, slammed to the floor, her blood the same colour as Irika's... _

The memories came crashing together.

"Thane?" Liara's concerned voice brought him back to the now silent group.

He stood, struggling to force the perverted memories away, fists clenched beside him. "I... a moment please," was all he was able to say. Moving away from his companions to stand in front of the window, he concentrated on staying in control.

"He's not taking it too well, is he?" Liara said in quiet sympathy, believing she was out of his earshot.

"Who is?" Garrus muttered.

"He adores Shep, you know," Kasumi added.

"Yes," answered Liara, "I had that impression myself before I'd even spoken to him, during that fire fight on Ilium, before he and Shepard helped me take out," her voice dropped to a whisper, "the Shadow Broker."

Garrus grumped, "I was a little annoyed with Shepard when she took Thane with you guys and left me behind. Would have been nice to see it through."

"It would have been lovely to have you with us, Garrus, but Shepard's decision made sense. Thane is trained in close combat. Although, watching him snap that mercs neck at the Shadow Broker's base made me wince."

Garrus chuckled and Jack scoffed at Liara's confession but she ignored them and went on, "Anyway Garrus, you would have hated the taxi ride through Ilium, Shepard was driving."

Jack laughed, "Don't tell me her driving is as bad as her dancing!"

"Oh, Goddess, worse!"

"Oh, dear, that's, bad." Mordin muttered.

Liara told them, "At one point, when we were pursuing Tesu Vasir, I had to remind Shepard the vehicle didn't have any weapons, that it was a taxi, and had a fare meter!"

Garrus chuckled, "Shepard told me you pretty much crapped yourself, Liara. Er, her words not mine."

"Oh I did and don't mind admitting it! Going through that oncoming traffic, all those trucks... Far too many times I thought we were going to crash. I think I spent most of my time yelling at Shepard." Liara laughed.

"What did Thane say?" Asked Kasumi.

"Oh, not a word. I might have said he was frozen in fear, but he stepped out of the taxi completely unruffled. I just wanted to get drunk and forget the whole thing, my legs wobbled so much! Goddess, it was frightening!"

A small smile played at Thane's lips as he remembered. Siha had done an impressive job keeping them all in one piece through the very scary journey, and he was pretty terrified at times, truth be told. Still, perhaps not as much as Liara, who still had hundreds of years to live ahead of her. It was certainly a journey he wouldn't wish to repeat again.

Strangely he felt more in turmoil now than he did during that incident, and Thane tuned his companion's voices out as he looked out of the window, seeing nothing, trying to feel nothing. He struggled to hold onto the tenuous grip of hope in his heart that he might see his Siha again. That she had not gone to the sea. If she had, then she would surely know by now he was not waiting for her, after all.

He was angry with himself. Not just for letting her down, but for allowing himself this negative thinking. Siha would be disappointed in him for squandering the new gift of life the Gods had given him. Then there was Koylat, a young man cheated by saving a father who only lived in a cocoon of grief. Koylat had long accepted Thane's love for Irika had not been diminished by his feelings for Shepard. But Koylat would not accept losing his father to grief a second time. Thane knew he had no right to throw hope away, not while the possibility remained Siha could still be alive. But with that hope came the fear he was merely postponing the inevitable heartbreak. He had been caught off guard once before, lulled into a false sense of security, resulting in returning home to his murdered wife. On that day much of him had died as well, and he had only been awoken from his battle-sleep by meeting another Siha.

He looked across the Citadel towards the central ring, briefly, before tearing his eyes away in sadness and returning to his friends.

"...be fine." Liara was saying. "Sometimes when a drell slips into a memory it can be very powerful, especially during emotional times. I got used to it working with Feron."

"I was not… remembering doctor." Thane told her mildly. "I was thinking," he forced himself to keep his hands relaxed as he looked at each member of the group, "We should be doing something! Forgive me, I know some of you have just returned from the front line - you deserve rest. But I have had enough of sitting around waiting for news."

"Here, here!" Garrus agreed to nods all around. "We could at least join the search teams up there." He lifted his chin in the general direction of the central ring.

"Yes, we should." Liara stood quickly.

"It beats sitting around in this hole!" Jack added.

"May I suggest..." Mordin began, only to be cut off when Garrus' omni-tool flashed an incoming message.

This seemed to set off a chain reaction as everyone's omni-tools began to light up, buzz, or softly chime. They all looked at their one line message, eyed each other, and then moved en masse towards the lift. Thane arrived first, hitting the call button while still looking at the message:

_Admiral Hackett would like to see you in C-Sec asap._

_Commander Bailey._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four.**

_The Sacred Coffee Mug._

Jacob arrived as Bailey was showing them into a room, which looked like it might have been a store room once, but now contained a small table in front of several chairs.

"Sorry about the room folks," C-Sec's Commander said, "best we could do at short notice."

"It's fine, thank you Commander Bailey," Admiral Hackett dismissed with a nod, waiting quietly while Shepard's surviving team members shuffled in.

Kasumi flirted with Jacob, while he greeted Liara. Jack muttered something about wanting to, "Get this boring shit over and done with so we can _do_ something."

If the Admiral overheard while he studied his pads from behind the table, he didn't show it. Bailey had already warned them the search teams still had not found Shepard, so at least their expectations weren't raised as they settled into the meeting. Kasumi escorted Jacob over to sit next to her in the front row with Mordin and Liara. Jack, Thane, and Garrus took the seats behind, the two men eyeing the extra chair, before looking at each other expectantly.

As they settled Hackett greeted them all, thanked them for coming so quickly, and told them, "I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to contact any of you since the war ended. I know it was hell down there on Earth."

"I'm sure you have been extremely busy Admiral," Liara offered gently.

Thane probably wasn't the only one who thought Hackett looked like he had the galaxy on his shoulders. He recognised this look. Siha had worn it many times. Hackett nodded with a weary sigh, "There's a hell of a lot to do."

"Then, forgive me for saying so Admiral," Garrus spoke firmly, "but shouldn't you be making use of us? We'd like to join the search teams up in the central ring."

"Yeah," Jack chimed in, "I'm bored!"

Unused to the lack of discipline, Hackett raised an eyebrow, but was otherwise unfazed as he stood to move around his makeshift desk and perched on the edge in front of them, ankles and arms folded. "I'm glad you all feel that way as I've called you here to ask for your help. But first we have some matters to discuss."

_Shepard._

Despite what Bailey said, it hung in the air all around them.

"Mr. Krios, Mr. Taylor, I didn't just ask you both here as a courtesy towards your time serving under Commander Shepard, I'd very much value your input."

Thane nodded once, calmly hiding his boiling feelings. Perhaps Garrus could feel the heat of his emotions, or perhaps the turian was as desperate for information as he was, but finally saying it eased the tension. "Any news on the Commander?"

"No, not yet anyway. We're still hopeful." Hackett was stoic and sincere. "As some of you may know, Admiral Anderson's body has been recovered."

"Yeah," Garrus muttered sadly, "He was a good man."

Everyone nodded.

"He was a damn hero," Hackett insisted quietly, to more nods, which suddenly stopped when he added, "You all are."

Jack grinned.

"In addition to Admiral Anderson," Hackett reached behind to select a pad from the table, "Tali'Zorah vas Normandy was taken to a London hospital, where she died of infection sustained by some minor injuries which ruptured her suit."

"Damn!" Jacob said.

"Also, the body of the Asari Justicar, Samara, was recovered from a battlefield in Whitehall, London."

"Yup, told ya." Jack turned to Thane before scowling down at the floor.

"Grunt, the krogan, is still listed as M.I.A. However there has been a report from what remains of Aralakh Company, suggesting he," the Admiral read from his pad, "died in a savage and bloody battle after single handedly killing several brutes."

"Unfortunately," Garrus sighed, "I can believe that."

"Major Kaiden Alenko and the prothean, Javik, are still M.I.A. as is Officer James Vega. Although we suspect he is in a London hospital, but due to comm problems and so many to keep track of, he's not the only one who's gone off radar."

Liara nodded, "It's a mess down there Admiral. I know James was scheduled to be moved to better facilities, but I don't know what happened."

"We'll find him," Hackett assured, "we'll find them all! As for the Normandy, we haven't been able to locate it. Science vessels have now completed a full sweep of the debris field, so were hoping it's still safe and well somewhere, possibly the other side of the relay. At the moment we can only speculate." He put the pad down with a sigh. "Sorry if I'm repeating information you already know, but I wanted to get us all up to speed on the information we have so far. I know there are others who some of you may like to know about, so as soon as I have any information, I'll make sure it's passed on. Suffice it to say, the search will continue until they are all found."

"My apologies for interrupting Admiral," Thane rumbled," but is there a chance the Commander, or any of the missing, could be aboard the Normandy?"

"It's possible. We can't say for sure if the Normandy evac'd anyone. However we are sure Commander Shepard won't be among them. We know she made it to the Citadel, she can't be on the Normandy."

Thane nodded his appreciation of the Admiral's candid answer, and let him continue.

Lacing his fingers together, Hackett said, "Now, shortly before the Crucible came on line, ending the Reaper assault, Admiral Anderson opened a comm channel, allowing us to record an audio conversation between himself, Commander Shepard, and an unidentified man."

A few of them looked at Mordin who managed to nod and shrug at the same time.

"It's possible some of you may be able to identify this man, so I'm going to play you an extract." Shaking on his omni-tool Hackett paused to sweep his eyes around the group, making sure they were all paying attention before he began the playback.

_"When humanity discovered the mass relays, when we learned there was more to the galaxy than we imagined, there were some who thought the relays should be destroyed. They were scared of what we'd find, terrified of what we might let in. But look at what humanity has achieved. Since that discovery we've advanced more than the past ten thousand years combined and the reapers will do the same for us again..."_

Hackett let the recording continue and the group heard Anderson telling the mystery man he was talking bullshit. The Admiral ended the recording in the middle of Shepard saying the man was playing with power he shouldn't be able to use.

Thane's heart broke at the sound of his Siha's voice. She seemed breathy. Had she been running? Was she injured? Or perhaps simply seething and gritting her teeth, trying to control her anger the same way Thane had seen in the past? Had she been successful this time or had she lashed out? He intended to ask the Admiral if he could listen to the whole exchange at the end of the meeting, insist if need be. For now he simply stated, "It's the Illusive Man."

Hackett looked at Jacob who nodded, "Yup, sure sounds like him."

"We thought so," Hackett admitted, moving to the door. "We needed a confirmation." When the door opened he stuck his head out briefly before returning to his chair.

All eyes turned to look at the woman who entered. She wore black trousers and a white shirt over a fashionable asari jacket. "Hello again," she smiled.

Jack did a double take and nearly fell off her chair, almost toppling it when she sprang up yelling, "Fuck me! You're dressed!" Surprising everyone a second time, Jack approached her old arch enemy to offer an almost friendly slap on the arm.

Miranda Lawson quickly greeted everyone before sitting with the group. As they all settled down again Jack looked the ex-Cerberus woman up and down asking, "So, what's with the disguise? What, it's only just occurred to you to hide from The Illusive Moron by, I dunno, finally getting dressed?"

At Miranda's questioning look Jack shrugged, "What? So Shepard told me about you. Wanted me to know you weren't a Cerberus bitch anymore, or something, I guess. Whatever."

Miranda simply smiled and turned her attention to the Admiral. They all ignored Jack's final muttered, "Guess I got no reason to kill you now I suppose." although it raised a few small chuckles.

Thane was genuinely pleased to see Miranda. She hadn't exactly been popular among the Normandy's crew, due to gaining a reputation as a hard, cold woman. But she had always been quietly protective of Shepard. At first this was probably because Lawson had spent two years working on Project Lazarus, but it was clear she had come to like and respect Shepard a great deal. It wasn't often Miranda let her guard down, but Thane had, on occasion, seen a softer side to this woman.

Thane considered the Admiral as he took in the exchange between Miranda and Jack quietly. Perhaps Hackett was wondering how Shepard had turned this dysfunctional group into the formidable team they were. Thane himself had often wondered the same thing.

"Ms. Lawson," Hackett said, "you understand the need to confirm the identity of the Illusive Man?"

"Of course Admiral, I'm ex-Cerberus. You have no reason to trust me."

Hackett nodded his gratitude. "Before we move on to the main reason I've brought you all here I'm going to play you everything we recorded, if you're ready to hear it?"

After a few silent nods he began the extract again, and Thane closed his eyes, so his memory would be of nothing but the voices he heard.

By the time it finished he was unable to stem the tears rolling down his cheeks. Wiping them away he noticed Garrus' mandibles clamped tightly to his face under small liquid eyes. Liara was trying to regain control, and accepted the tissue Miranda offered with gratitude. Jacob brooded and Jack looked furious, practically snarling, her jaw clenched. Kasumi had tucked her knees up under her chin and dropped her head down. Mordin was unusually still, a finger crooked thoughtfully at his lips.

Hackett gave them all a moment, before looking at Miranda. She stood and walked to the front of the room to face them all. Jacob rolled his eyes as if to say, 'Trust you to be in the thick of it'.

Miranda said, "It seems clear the Illusive Man was indoctrinated by the Reapers and being used to get to the Commander and the Admiral. It's also possible the Illusive Man was shot, as we only hear his voice faintly and briefly after the sound of the last gunfire."

Hackett added, "We've had analysts working on this, trying to piece together what we can and come up with the likeliest scenario, in the hope it may help us locate Shepard."

Some of the group looked unsure having only heard the recording once. Thane however had it committed to memory. "I agree. This does seem most likely."

Miranda tipped her head to him.

Sitting back in his chair, arms folded, Hackett said, "We had assumed all three were together. However, the whole area has been thoroughly searched, as have all the damaged areas on the Citadel. I know Shepard, she wouldn't have wandered off into the keeper tunnels with a body in tow. Who would?"

Thane reviewed his memory of the last words spoken on the recording.

_"What do you need me to do?" _Shepard had said when Hackett patched through to tell her the Crucible wasn't firing. _"I'm not sure how to..."_ that was it, she didn't speak again.

Thane asked, "Is there anything more after you tried to contact Shepard?"

"No," Hackett shook his head, "just several minutes of mostly silence, some sounds of movement possibly, before the explosion cut the comms."

"I don't understand," Liara frowned, "what does this all mean? Where is Shepard?"

Hackett sighed deeply, "All I can tell you is we're still searching. Right now we have every reason to believe she is still alive and will be found. But if any of you have any ideas, they will be welcomed."

No one spoke for a moment until Garrus said, "We should go join the search teams."

Hackett held up a hand, "Before you do, there is another matter to discuss."

This angered Thane. There was no other matter worthy of discussion right now as far as he was concerned. Out of respect for the Admiral, however, he sat patiently.

"One of the science ships, sweeping the outer debris field orbiting Earth, reported finding an abandoned vessel. Miranda, do we have a feed?"

She nodded, shaking on her omni-tool. Opening a vid screen she said, "Looks like a stranded ship all right, no life signs, minimal power. Only, well, you can see for yourselves."

Everyone leaned forward to look at the clear, live image of the familiar vessel. Most of the humans paled, Thanes eyes grew even wider than usual, Garrus' mandibles drooped in shock, and Jack wasn't the only person to swear under their breath. The last thing anyone expected to see was the image of a Collector ship.

Hackett told them, "We don't know how long it's been there, what it's doing there, where the hell it came from, or if it even means anything to the war. The science vessel didn't even detect it until they were practically on top of the thing. We need to send a team in, preferably people with some, ah, specialist experience."

"It could also be a trap," Thane warned.

"Again," Garrus added wearily.

"I've read the reports of all your contacts with the Collectors." Hackett told them. "I am asking for volunteers. No one will think any the less of anyone who declines to join this mission. God knows if anyone deserves a break you do. Miranda has agreed to lead a team in and I can provide the marines, but the more experts we can get on board, the better. Please take a moment to think about it."

There was silence as everyone considered the implications of this bombshell. Thane wrestled with the desire to run out of this room right now, and join the search in the keeper tunnels.

_Rain falls from a black, angry sky while we wait for the shuttle. She ponders my question, turning her face up to the heavy droplets, appearing to enjoy this planet's dreadful weather, her hair dulled and flattened by the downpour. She looks beautiful._

_With a shrug she tells me, "I just go where I'm needed the most I guess, where I can do the most good." She smiles up at me, blinking the water from her eyes. The shuttle comes into land, and I bend to kiss..._

"I will join the mission," Thane said. At the turian's surprise he added, "The search teams know what they are doing. But few of us have been on a Collector ship. I believe it is the decision Shepard would have made."

Garrus pondered this, nodding slowly, though clearly conflicted.

Liara spoke up, "I have no experience with the Collectors at all, but if I can help I will join the mission."

Soon all but one member had volunteered, and only the Normandy's ex-Armoury Chief was left frowning at the floor. Miranda noticed first. "Jacob?"

He sat up and rubbed his hands against his face, briefly. "Oh hell, I want to. Just not sure how I'm gonna tell Brynn."

Gently Miranda said, "You have a family now, Jacob. Congratulations, by the way," she smiled. "No one will blame you for wanting to stay with them."

"Miranda is right," Thane added, "your family needs you. You must put them first."

"Argh!" Jacob said, torn. "Thanks guys, but I… I want to help. I don't feel I should leave you to do this... Oh, I dunno."

"You must, Jacob," Thane told him firmly, "for the sake of your child and your wife."

"You have a kid!" Jacob challenged softly.

"Koylat is now an adult," Thane said, conscious of the whole room witnessing an exchange he would have preferred to conduct in private. But what he needed to tell the human was too important to neglect, just to save face. Everyone in this room probably knew all about his history by now anyway. "But when he needed me I was not there, and it will scar his life forever. It is a regret I will always carry. If I could do it all again, I would do things very differently. I would have stayed home with my family. I urge you to do what I failed to do, what your own father failed to do. Stay here, protect your loved ones."

Jacob nodded slowly, shooting Thane a look of gratitude before bowing his head and squeezing his hands together. Finally he stood. "Would you please contact me as soon as you get back? Let me know you're all ok?" He asked no one in particular.

"Agreed," Miranda smiled, "and I want to meet your baby."

Jacob brightened, "Done," he agreed. "Good luck guys and, I'm sorry." With a nod to the Admiral, Jacob paused at the door. "It's good to see you again Miranda, and you, too, Liara." He left, unappily.

Thane was pleased to see Jacob go. Not because he didn't like the man. Actually these days he found Taylor quite pleasant and would have welcomed him on the mission. But Thane was relieved to see Jacob wouldn't be repeating the mistakes he himself had made.

Hackett said, "Mordin, Kasumi, you are welcome to join the science teams when you get back if you're joining this mission. The first ships won't be leaving for the relay until the end of the week, I believe."

Mordin nodded, "Happy to go."

"Yep, I'm in," Kasumi agreed.

Smiling at the Admiral, Miranda said, "We have our team."

"Thank you," he told them all. "This is above and beyond. Miranda has all the details. A shuttle can be prepped and ready for you within the hour, unless anyone needs longer to prepare, it's up to you. This is your show."

They all began to stand, heads shaking. Jack grinned, "Hey it's not like we got anything else better to do."

Hackett nearly smiled at that. "Anything you need, arms, equipment, supplies, C-Sec's requisition officer has been cleared to fulfil any request she is able to. Any questions?" He noted the head shakes while they all started to leave. As the last person walked out, he looked at Miranda, who was smiling at him.

"You should try living with them aboard a ship," she told him.

The Admiral simply shook his head in mild amusement and in a half shrug muttered, "Dismissed."

Thane made a beeline for Bailey, who anticipated his question before it could be asked. "He's out on patrol but will be due back within the next half hour. I'll keep him in the office doing paperwork if you want to see him before you go."

"Once again, Commander, I thank you." Thane offered his hand without thinking about it.

"Well," sighed Bailey with a grin, "he won't be too happy with me that's for sure. No one likes doing the paperwork." He wished them all luck before leaving the team with his requisition officer.

When Thane joined Garrus outside C-Sec the turian asked, "So, what do you think?"

Thane simply shook his head, lifting a palm in a small shrug.

Mandibles twitching, Garrus muttered, "You, uh, going to be ok?"

"If you mean am I fit enough? I am. I may not yet be quite as I was, but I am able, and I have your back, my friend."

"And I have yours, too, but that's not what I meant."

"I know." Thane smiled. "Perhaps when we return there will be some news. Until then, this mission takes priority."

Garrus nodded. After a pause he said, "I came to find you last night but you were out with Koylat."

"Doctor Michel mentioned she had seen you."

"Yes, it was good to see Chloe, again. You missed a good evening, Thane. Kasumi, Jack, Mordin and I were reminiscing over a meal." Garrus chuckled. "Do you remember that time Shepard had the whole ship worried sick for over two days? When she went to break that deep cover op out of a batarian prison? Oh, of course you remember!" Garrus sighed, looking at Thane. "You must get really fed up with people saying that to you."

"Not at all," smiled Thane, "and yes, the agent, Doctor Amanda Kenson, who was indoctrinated."

"Yeah. Shepard had to fight her way off that station single handedly. Joker only just got her off that rock in time. It was hell, those couple of days, not knowing."

"Much like now." Thane observed. The memory of that time, one he hadn't thought about for so long, now demanding his attention.

"That was one of Hackett's missions as well." Garrus rolled his eyes.

The team trickled out and they all agreed to meet at their designated shuttle bay in one hour before splitting up to prepare. As Thane made his way back to the hospital he let the memory come.

The team was gathered together in the communications room when Shepard hustled in, fully dressed in her armour. Jack jumped off the table, a few others pushed themselves off the bulkheads where they had been leaning. Thane wondered why seating hadn't been provided around the large conference table, though he generally preferred to stand at meetings; it kept one more alert.

Occasionally a team member would yawn, setting off a chain reaction. Despite the early hour, there was some tension in the air.

"Sorry I'm late," Shepard muttered.

The low murmurs died down and the shuffling stopped as everyone gave her their full attention.

"That's all right, Commander," Miranda smiled, "we all know you're not a morning person."

"That makes at least two of us," Garrus grumped mildly.

Shepard harrumphed, dumping her helmet on the table. If Thane had eyebrows he would have raised one. Shepard hated wearing her head gear and only did so if she was going into an un-breathable atmosphere, or was expecting a particularly heavy fire fight. Clearly there was more to this mission than just a few red sand dealers.

Lifting her eyes to the ceiling Shepard said, "Joker?"

"Yes, Commander?" Returned the pilots voice mid yawn.

"It was you who re-set my omni-tool to wake me to the racket of Expel10 right?"

"Aw, Commander," the smile in Jokers voice was evident, "I was just trying to do you a favour is all. You told me you'd never heard the band so I thought I'd just..."

"Joker."

"Uh, yes, Commander?"

She smiled, "Go get me a coffee."

"What!?"

"You can bring it to the comms room."

"But," he spluttered, "I got a ship to fly!"

"I will keep the Normandy fully operational while you prepare the Commander's beverage, Mr. Moreau."

"Thank you EDI," Shepard smirked along with most of her team. When Joker spluttered over the comm, she warned, "Its either that or I replace your comfortable pilots seat with a plastic chair!"

A few of the team had their hands over their mouths, Garrus his mandibles.

"Ok, fine Commander. Then I'll just hobble _all_ the way down to the mess and use my awesome piloting skills just to make you a coffee, so I can hobble _all_ the way back up, then, shall I?"

To which Shepard drawled, "Try not to break a bone, Joker."

This made the already amused team collectively snort with laughter, especially Garrus and Jack.

Thane had been getting used to how the team interacted over the last few weeks and though he was still slightly bemused by the whole exchange, he none the less enjoyed it. He had himself been the target of Shepard's amusement only the night before, when she had caught him out during a rare flustered moment. Something he had been wanting to tell her for many days was still left unsaid as they said goodnight at her cabin door. She had made him 'spit it out' and he had confessed to being a selfish man, for he was dying, yet had developed strong feelings for her. Despite the fact they seemed to be growing ever closer, spending more time together, sometimes holding hands to offer comfort or support, Thane made it clear he did not expect her to reciprocate. To his surprise Shepard had told him she felt something for him as well. With both of them feeling a shocked relief, and Thane a guilty delight this warrior-angel would turn her eyes to him, they agreed to talk the following evening, this evening, before saying goodnight.

Now Thane watched her, a beacon of red with those playful eyes and laughter in her voice. His heart hammered in anticipation of their conversation to come.

"Ok, people," Shepard snapped to business. "I got good news and bad news. Good news, you won't have me breathing down your necks for a couple of hours. Of course that means the bad news is, you'll have Miranda to answer to."

As always Miranda just smiled serenely at the good natured banter, ignoring Jack's feral scowl.

After a moment Shepard leaned forward to rest her palms on the table, all hint of humour now gone as she told them about the mission. "There's a deep cover operative stuck in batarian space who has some important information. We need that information, she needs breaking out of a batarian jail." Shepard looked around the now wide awake and fully focused team, then up to the ceiling. "How, long before we reach Bahak, Joker?"

"How the hell would I know?" Came the sarcastic answer, then a muttered, "probably not before the kettles boiled, although, I'm only guessing here."

That broke the tension and Shepard grinned along with everyone else.

EDI cut in, "Time to the Batarian system is approximately twenty three minutes, Galactic Standard."

"Thanks EDI," Shepard told the AI.

"Can I take it this is Alliance business?" asked the shrewd Cerberus woman.

"Let's just say I'm doing a favour for a friend," was Shepard's cryptic answer.

Miranda raised an eyebrow, "And this information..?"

"Is classified."

"I see. Well then, I'll inform the Illusive Man..."

"No." Shepard said sharply before softening her voice, if not the look, she gave her XO. "I'm only giving you guys a heads up as a courtesy. This is off the record. I know you have a job to do, Miranda, but if there is anything to the report I've been given, I'll inform the Illusive Man myself. Is that clear?"

"Understood, Commander," Miranda replied icily.

Grunt's beady eyes had been bouncing between Miranda and his Battlemaster, enjoying the conflict almost lasciviously.

"I'm trusting you." Shepard told the whole team but clearly this was meant for

Miranda. Jacob was the only other Cerberus op present, but despite his hostility to the drell, Thane believed the Armoury Chief's loyalty lie with Shepard. Much of the crew appeared to feel the same way.

Zaeed stepped forward placing a hand lightly on the table. "I've found my way around a few batarian prisons in my time, so I volunteer for this one."

"My arm is yours, Shepard," Thane reminded quickly.

"Hey, I'm up for this!" Jack chimed. "Me and Shepard know a thing or two about prison breaks, don't we?" She grinned, fortunately missing Miranda rolling her eyes.

"Battlemaster..." Grunt began as Garrus opened his mouth and Tali's communicator light flickered, her soft voice drowned out.

Shepard held both her hands up to quieten the team. "Thanks guys, but no. I'm going in alone this time."

This caused another stir and the news would have paled Thane's crest had it been possible.

Garrus said, "That's… unusual," as the team eyed each other uncomfortably.

"Well," Shepard crossed her arms, an awkward manoeuvre in all that body armour, "thanks for the vote of confidence, guys," she smirked.

"Oh, it's not that Shepard, and you know it!" Garrus said quickly. "But alone, in a batarian prison? It's not exactly a stroll around Omega, is it? Well, not quite, anyway. Either way, why not take some back up?"

"I'll work quieter alone. The plan is to get to where they're holding the operative without alerting the guards. Then we can fight our way out together, if need be."

"Uh, wait," Garrus' mandibles twitched in concern, though his eyes shone with humour, "you're going on a stealth mission?" He glanced at an impassive Thane and an amused Kasumi. "With all due respect, Shepard, do you think that's wise?" Clearly, he was only half joking.

"Garrus," Shepard asked mildly, "what time is it?"

"Um, its," he focused on the tiny heads up display over one eye, "five thirty seven."

Shepard nodded slowly, "And, am I a morning person?"

"Er, no..." Garrus trained off.

"And has Joker arrived with my coffee yet?"

"Uh..."

"Exactly, Garrus, probably best not to argue with me right now, huh?" Now it was Shepard who was only half-joking.

Leaving Garrus to fidget she looked around at the team and ordered, "Dismissed."

They all shuffled out fairly quietly. Garrus pinned Thane with a quick glare as he walked past the drell, who nodded once, already two steps ahead. Once, it would have been Garrus staying behind to talk to Shepard, but her growing friendship with Thane hadn't gone unnoticed. Garrus had begun to defer to Thane out of respect towards their budding relationship. Or maybe Garrus was just happy to let someone else take the heat for a change.

As the door closed Thane said, "Shepard, may I have a word?"

She sighed, "So, Tweedle Dumb couldn't talk any sense into me and now Tweedle Dee is going to give it a go, huh?"

Thane frowned, "I'm not sure my translator..."

"Never mind," she chuckled, waving a dismissive hand.

The door opened to admit Joker who swooped in with his slightly limping gait, and a mug of coffee.

"Ooh," Shepard purred, "I could almost forgive you, Joker."

Presenting her coffee mug with a flourish, he grinned, "So were even now?"

She eyed the brown liquid, "No spit?"

"Oh, c'mon, please, Commander, that's just childish! Ok, maybe I thought about it, just for a second." Joker stepped back, palms raised, "but you know me, Commander, I'd never do anything to your coffee, not after the first time." Joker snorted a laugh. "Anyway, I'm not your type. I mean, c'mon, if we were gonna swap spit we would have done it already." The pilot turned his smirk to the door, but didn't move as he muttered, "Shit shit shit, I can't believe I just said that out loud!" Laughing, he approached the exit and when it opened Joker turned back to Shepard, "Will there be anything else, Commander? I dunno, shine your shoes, take your hamster for a walk, maybe feed your fish?"

At Shepard's interested stare he quickly left with, "See ya, Commander, later Thane."

She shook her head grinning and muttered to herself, "Dismissed, Joker."

When the door closed she laughed, sipped her coffee, and sighed. Looking at Thane across the table, she said, "Joker makes a great coffee. It's so rare these days I get an excuse to make him put the kettle on."

Thane smiled. He had enjoyed the exchange. Joker was a likeable fellow with a constant stream of humorous quips. He probably really was one of the best pilots flying right now, as he so often claimed, and Shepard thought a great deal of. But more than that, seeing this warrior-angel relaxed and happy was a particular joy.

"Oh, Commander?" Joker's voice filled the room again. "How long do you think you'll be down there? Y'know, assuming you don't get a nice cell all to yourself, or anything like that."

Shepard shook her head. "Not sure, Joker. Hopefully I'll be in, out, and back before lunch." Thane frowned at that but Shepard gave him a wink as she asked Joker, "Why?"

"Oh, nothing really. I was just thinking maybe you could give me an hour or two at least? Should be long enough to install a coffee making program into EDI."

"Mr. Moreau, your attempts to turn me into a coffee machine will fail."

"Oh, c'mon, EDI. Why not? You open doors for people... Oh, ok, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Llast time you open a door for me now, right?"

Joker cut the comms and Shepard said to Thane, "Actually, that's not a bad idea."

Thane simply smiled, hands laced behind his back.

"Ok, drell, get it off your chest."

Choosing his words carefully Thane said, "You are not used to fighting without a team at your side, Shepard. It is very… different."

Her smile fell, "I know. Believe me, I'd like to take you guys in with me. To be honest, I'm pretty pissed off about having to do this solo, but I have my orders."

As they spoke they walked slowly towards the head of the table to meet in the middle.

"Orders?"

"From Admiral Hackett. But I didn't tell you this right?"

"Alliance? But you no longer serve the Alliance."

Shepard bristled, "I am not Cerberus!"

"I understand that. I meant..."

"No, it's ok," she softened, "I know what you meant. Doesn't matter, this is what I have to do."

"To... prove to the Alliance you are not Cerberus?" He asked gently.

"No," she put her mug down on the table with a huff, "to get some damn information about a potentially imminent Reaper invasion."

Thanes scales ran cold. "Ah."

"Exactly. If Hackett didn't trust me he wouldn't have given me this mission."

"I understand," Thane said quietly, gratified by Shepard's trust in him with this sensitive, if dire, information. "Please do not misunderstand me, Shepard. I trust in your abilities as a warrior, as much as I trust in you as a person. But it is… ah, difficult… knowing ones Commander will be facing a dangerous situation alone."

"Oh, hell!" She frowned, "I shouldn't have said anything to the team."

"No. You were right to do so. It is far better we carry this burden than the one of not knowing. I..." Thane frowned, "I am sorry. Don't let my concerns bother you. I am being selfish, I..." He trailed off, blinking at the floor.

"Last night?" Shepard picked up her mug and was looking at him over the rim as she sipped her coffee.

"Now is not the time. My apologies. I would like to be able to come with you, or better, go in your place."

"Thank you, but," she sighed, "not this time."

"I understand."

"But," she smiled warmly up at him, "I promise I'll be back in plenty of time for us to have a chat as agreed. Uh, if you still want to?"

"I do." Thane quickly assured before Shepard could become too flustered. "So, a stealth mission, Shepard?"

She rolled her eyes, grinning, "I can tip toe with the best of them when I have to."

"Hmm," Thane leaned a hand on the table, "perhaps you'll show me one day?"

"We'll see," She laughed.

"Seriously, Shepard, you're ready?"

She nodded, "I am," leaning in close to place her hand on the back of his she breathed, "You could always give me a quick refresher course in stealth if you want."

Thane considered the small smile and amused eyes of this intriguing woman. "You are humouring me, Shepard."

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, sliding her hand off his, "No, Thane, actually, I was flirting with you." Laughing at his surprise, she cocked an eyebrow and said, "See, told you I could be subtle."

"Hmm," he rumbled low in his chest.

"I believe the term you're looking for," she giggled, "is touché."

At that moment Thane suddenly and desperately wanted to scoop her up in his arms and kiss her.

"You ok, Thane?"

He blinked, placing his hands on her shoulders, careful not to push against the now weeks old scar of a bullet wound as it may still be tender. Gently he offered, "I shall pray to Amonika and Arashu for you." Fighting the desire to put his hands against her cheeks and bring her lips closer to his, Thane turned to leave, coming to an abrupt halt when Shepard spoke.

"Amonkira. Lord of Hunters. Grant that my hands be steady, my aim be true and my feet swift, and should the worst come to pass, grant me forgiveness."

As Thane slowly turned back to face this remarkable woman, she said, "I remember your prayer before we went to track Koylat."

"I see," was all he could say, stunned the Commander would care to remember something of no meaning or significance to her, but which was so important to him.

"I haven't offended you have I, Thane?"

"Gods, no," he said quickly. "I am honoured you would take such interest."

"Then maybe you can tell me more about your beliefs when I get back?"

"I'd like that, Shepard."

"Then it's a date!"

Thane grinned, "Indeed," tipping his head at Shepard whose cheeks flushed crimson as she realised what she had said.

"Right," she fumbled for her helmet and took a few deep gulps of coffee. "Ah, that's better." Her smile fell and she muttered, "Dammit, now I'm going to have to pee. I hate having to do that in all this armour!"

Thane caught up with her as she strode to the door, plucking the empty mug out of her hand. "I will save you a trip into the mess," he offered with a smile.

"Oh, thanks."

Out in the corridor between the armoury and the tech lab they paused, looking at each other, and Thane wondered if they might kiss after all. She blinked and said, "Right, out of my way, Krios, I gotta go save a scientist's ass."

Thane watched as she approached the door to the armoury. "Be strong and swift, Siha."

Shepard turned, "Did my translator just glitch?"

"Siha," he repeated. "She is one of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector. Much like you."

She tilted her head to one side, smiling, "I like that. Thank you, Thane." Before the armoury door closed she promised, "I'll see you tonight, Krios." It was one she wouldn't be able to keep.

Heading back into the CIC via the tech lab, Thane kept his head down, hoping Mordin would be too busy on one of his experiments to notice him slipping by. Unfortunately, this wasn't the case.

"Ah, Thane. Just the person," announced Mordin warmly.

Thane dutifully padded over. "Professor."

"Wanted to ask how you got on with that information I sent you about human/drell liaisons?"

This was exactly what Thane had wanted to avoid. "It was… informative."

Mordin breathed in, "Good," nodding once.

"However, I could find no reference to your, uh, warnings pertaining to a rash or mild hallucinogenic."

"Ah." Mordin offered Thane no more than his thin, wide smile.

"Can I assume this was a little joke, professor?"

"Mockery? Shocking suggestion! Doctor/patient confidentiality a sacred trust! Would never dream..." Mordin trailed off under Thane's glare, but the smile didn't leave his face as the professor turned back to his work. "Enjoy yourself while possible, Thane."

"Thank you, professor," he rumbled, leaving the lab as quickly as possible. If the subject matter wasn't embarrassing enough, Mordin's little joke certainly was.

"Oh hello, Thane," greeted Kelly Chambers as he stepped into the CIC.

Thane suspected she was more than just the Normandy's Yeoman. He offered her a smile as he waited briefly for the lift. His intentions were to drop Shepard's mug into the mess dishwasher, before returning to Life Support to spend some time in meditation and prayer. When he arrived in the mess he approached a table some of the team had gathered around.

Samara looked up. "Sere Krios, you seem troubled. Won't you join us?"

Thane put the mug down and took an empty seat to join the Justicar, Garrus, Kasumi, Zaeed, and Jack. He had noticed Jack beginning to socialise more. She only used to stay in the mess if Shepard was around, going as far as sticking her tattooed head around the corner, only to return to her hidey hole if the Commander wasn't present.

He considered Samara's words. He felt quite relaxed, perhaps more so than he had in many years, and he greatly looked forward to spending the evening with Shepard. None the less, it was unpleasant knowing she had embarked on a solo mission.

He admitted as much to Samara, "I am troubled by the Commander's mission."

"As am I," she agreed. "But I believe the Goddess, and the Gods," she added to include Thane's beliefs, "will return Shepard to us unharmed."

Thane nodded, appreciating the Matriarchs calm wisdom.

She and Thane hadn't always seen eye to eye. He had been on the Normandy only a matter of days when he'd heard, from ship's spy Kasumi, Shepard was to be used as bait to lure out a dangerous and psychotic murderer who had powerful biotic abilities, including some form of mind control. Upon offering his services as a sniper he was shocked to discover the dangerous criminal in question was an Ardat-Yakshi. No sniper round could put this asari down quickly enough to keep innocents out of danger, and it was likely she would be too savvy to allow an assassin to get near her. Shepard and Samara had made it clear their plan was the only one with any chance of success. Thane had spent the whole of that evening pacing his quarters until Shepard had returned unharmed. He barely knew the human, yet her safety had become one of his greatest concerns.

It was many weeks later Samara had confessed to Thane that the Ardat-Yakshi she'd had to kill was her own daughter, Morinth. He was only able to imagine the grief Samara carried with her by considering the direst alternative to the events leading up to his reunion with Koylat. Shepard had stopped his son following in his father's footsteps, indeed had probably prevented Koylat from being killed, thanks to her quick actions. He at once understood Samara's need to lure her daughter away from innocents and deal with this matter personally.

Despite the burdens she carried, Samara always conducted herself with a serene grace and Thane came to admire the asari who had lived nearly a thousand years.

"Hey, Miranda," Jack said as soon as she appeared from her quarters. Jack spoke the name the same way she spat 'Cerberus Bitch'. "You tattled on Shepard to your boyfriend, already?"

Trying not to bristle, Miranda said, "The Illusive Man is not my boyfriend, and besides, you heard the Commander, she will speak to him herself. Unlike you, Jack, I know how to follow orders."

"Well I don't like her going off by herself," Garrus said, quickly in the hope it would curb another fight between the two women. Both powerful biotics, a cat-fight involved throwing large pieces of furniture at each other and anyone else who got in the way. It was way more dangerous than facing off something more placid like, say, a Thresher Maw.

"No, me either," Kasumi agreed.

"She'll be ok," Miranda reassured gently, "she knows what she's doing and she's tough. I should know, I built her."

Jack snapped a scowl at Miranda, opening her mouth to comment, but was cut off by Joker's voice over the comm. "Ladies and gentleman, and asari, this is your pilot speaking. Shuttles back. I'm just gonna put the handbrake on and come join the party. Save me some punch!"

"Well," Garrus stood, "I have some calibrations..." At the teams collective snorts he looked around asking, "What?"

"I have a book to read." Kasumi also stood, trying not to make eye contact with Garrus.

Jack got up, "Yeah, whatever, later." She was the first to leave.

Miranda stopped hovering and returned to her quarters with, "There's a lot of work to do. If anyone needs me I'll be in my quarters."

Thane also decided to seek solitude and left with a nod to Zaeed and Samara. He passed Joker as the pilot came out of the lift with a grin, and before the door to Life Support closed Thane heard, "Shit! Where is everyone? Hasn't the party started yet? Oh, this is so lame..."

After prayers and meditations, Thane considered his growing affections for Shepard. It wrapped him in an odd feeling of uneasy comfort. He marvelled at the contentment that settled upon him, a strange emotion to experience now after so many years absent from his life. He knew from Garrus and his own observations this Siha didn't give herself lightly, or easily. With that knowledge how could he, a man so near to the end of his life, encourage their closeness? Would it not be more honourable to keep his distance? He berated his weakness when it came to this warrior-angel but Thane also understood she had a right to make that decision for herself; he trusted she was able to deal with his impending crossing.

Not for the first time, he wondered why the Gods had suddenly brought so much joy into his life, so close to its end. Perhaps he had finally atoned for his sins and this was the reward? If so, it was a deeply bitter-sweet reward and probably more than he deserved. Either way, if this woman was a formidable force on the battlefield, she was an even more formidable force on his heart. It was hers now, no matter what happened between them. Even after his body died, his love for her would go on forever.

As the rest of the morning passed, Thane comforted himself with the knowledge Shepard, his Siha, was taking her mission slowly and carefully. None the less, when Joker made the ship-wide announcement, "Just to let you all know, the Commander has successfully completed her mission and is en-route to check out some artefact or other in a stolen Kodiak," he chuckled. "Don't tell her I told you that! So, uh, we'll be seeing her soon. Joker out."

Thane found muscles he hadn't realised were so tense, relaxing as the crew in the mess shared their relief with a couple of whoops loud enough to reach his ears.

Having spent the rest of the afternoon reading Thane planned to continue his solitary vigil by eating in his quarters. But as he was padding out to the mess he suddenly changed his mind, deciding instead to join the team in the hope it would please Siha upon her return. He immediately noticed two things; first Shepard's coffee mug was still where he had left it, having neglected to put it into the dishwasher. This was odd because, while Gardener could often be seen standing around, arms folded, grumbling, he kept the mess spotless and always free of clutter. Second, the crew ate through an unusually sombre conversation. Even Joker was subdued, not interested in goading Jack into swearing at him. Zaeed ate quietly, as opposed to chewing through one of his stories. Thane sat alone, having to force himself to eat, due to a sudden absence of hunger, rather than Gardeners cooking.

Usually after a meal at least a few members of the team would leave to do their own thing. Tali liked to get back to 'her' engines and the banter she enjoyed with Ken and Gabby. Samara would meditate and Miranda usually went straight back to work. Garrus, well everyone knew what he did. Grunt liked to sleep straight after a meal and Mordin would only stay if he was awaiting the results of an experiment. Jack and Zaeed sometimes stayed to chat together, usually joined by Kasumi only when Jacob had managed to peel her off and retreat back to the armoury. This evening even Joker appeared in no rush to return to his beloved pilot's seat. As the hours wore on the team stopped looking up every time the lift doors opened to admit one of the Cerberus crew. Only Doctor Chakwas excused herself, stating she had some medical records to update, with a smile that failed to hide the worry in her eyes.

Eventually, Thane took himself back to Life Support where he busied himself with cleaning his guns, before laying on his bunk and giving way to some of his more recent memories of the woman who, for reasons he didn't understand, had been unable to fulfil her promise to him.

It had been a fitful sleep and Thane awoke the next morning feeling un-refreshed. He left Life Support expecting to discover Siha had returned sometime in the early hours. As soon as he entered the mess and saw her coffee mug still hadn't been moved, he knew these expectations would be unfulfilled and his scales grew icy cold. Garrus told him there had been no word from the Commander since her last transmission to let Joker know she had made it out of the batarian prison. Thane spent the rest of the day feeling as if his blood would never thaw.

For the time being, the Normandy continued to patiently wait and the day stretched out in slow laborious minutes. It seemed to take forever until it was evening again. The team were all back together in the mess, much as they were the previous evening. Only this time the atmosphere was even more sombre, and very tense.

Thane considered returning to Life Support again, but had spent much of the day pacing the small space, unable to relax enough to sit still, let alone meditate, so he was pretty sick of the sight of that room by now. He would have spent some time writing to Kolyat, but he had done so only a couple of days ago and didn't want to push it. He had been overjoyed when Kolyat had replied to the first message Thane sent, the day after they had been reunited.

Kolyat had intimated a message would be welcomed, at the end of their long conversation, in the holding cell Bailey had allowed them to use so they could talk in private. Kolyat was angry, of course, but the bitterness he had displayed during their initial, highly charged, meeting seemed to quickly ebb away as they spoke. Thane explained his battle-sleep but made no excuses for his failure as a father and husband. Upon admitting to having tracked down his mothers killers, making them suffer before their deaths, Koylat seemed pleased. It pained Thane to hear his son speak this way, but relieved him, also.

Koylat has asked for details about Thane's Kepral's Syndrome, wanting to understand his father's prognosis. The young drell was shocked to discover Thane had not put his name on the transplant list, and at one point he worried he might lose his son to anger again.

When it was time to leave Koylat in Bailey's hands, both drell were surprised to discover Shepard had somehow talked the C-Sec Captain out of arresting Kolyat, and into giving him a job. Kolyat had just finished complaining to Thane how 'that woman' had hit him pretty hard. Thane fought back a smile as he explained not only who 'that woman' was and why it could have been a great deal harder, but also, how she had probably saved his life by doing so.

When Kolyat had reluctantly reviewed his memory of his near-murder of a minor politician, he saw the guns pointing at him during that brief, but tense, standoff. It became clear to him the only reason the situation hadn't escalated to him being shot was due to Commander Shepard's swift actions. Yet, rather than having Kolyat go to trial and be judged for his wounding of one person and taking hostage of another, Shepard ignored the trouble he had caused her and gave him a second chance.

Since then, Kolyat had been staying out of trouble and the two men were messaging each other every few days. Whenever the Normandy docked at the Citadel Thane dropped by C-Sec to visit his son.

Kasumi approached Thane with a smile, asking, "Tea?" Which was code for 'come into my room so we can gossip'.

Thane wasn't really in the mood for hearing the latest news on any personal developments in the lives of the Normandy crew. Nor could he bring himself to sit alone right now, nursing his growing concern over Shepard's welfare. She should have at least contacted the Normandy by now.

In the end, Thane was grateful for the distraction and followed Kasumi to her quarters.

"Well," Kasumi said, sitting sideways on the sofa to face him, pulling her knees up under her chin. Her normally soft, playful voice had an edge to it Thane had rarely heard, "it seems not hearing from Shep has created a pink elephant in the mess hall."

Thane tore his eyes away from the slow moving starscape outside the port window to look at Kasumi and dryly ask, "Did my translator glitch or am I about to suffer another humanism?"

Giggling she reached forward to touch his arm briefly and explained the idiom. Why she didn't just simply say that no one is mentioning what's on all their minds, Thane didn't know.

"Hmm, it seems not," he agreed. "I suppose there is little we can say. But clearly Shepard's failure to contact us after all this time is a worrying development."

"Do you think Shep is ok?"

Wanting to reassure his crewmate, Thane nodded, "Yes. Until we have more information it would be pointless to speculate. We should continue our vigil with hope."

"I agree. It's hard though."

"That," Thane sighed, "is very true." He looked out at the starscape again, marvelling at the simple, yet complex view, waiting for Kasumi to get to what was on her mind. It didn't take long.

"So, tell me about you and Shep. I know you two are getting along."

Thane couldn't help his smile. He glanced absently over his shoulder at Kasumi's collection of books and other items she had told him about. As an avid reader himself, Thane found the books particularly fascinating. Most were old Earth collectors' pieces she had… liberated… at one time or another. He wished he could understand human writing, so he could read them himself, rather than rely on Kasumi's interpretation of the stories.

He still found the master thief's direct, often personal questions a little invasive at times. But he was becoming accustomed to Kasumi's curiosity and growing to like his neighbour very much. Where once he had seen only a flighty gossip, he now knew the gentle oriental was an incredibly intelligent woman with a kind heart and a superb, if unusual, battlefield prowess. Plus if there was one subject he could discuss right now, it was their worryingly absent Commander.

Even so, Thane was not accustomed to gossip and conscious of Siha's privacy, as well as his own, and so Thane simply admitted, "Yes, I think we are growing closer."

Delighted with this titbit, Kasumi asked, "Ooh, have you kissed her yet?"

"We… ah… no. We have barely discussed it."

"So, you've talked about it then? Good, it's about time!"

"It is?"

"Oh Thane, I could see it coming a mile away," she giggled, "I'm sure the whole ship could."

"I see." Thane hoped she exaggerated.

"So what did you say?"

Perhaps talking about Siha was a bad idea, after all. "Kasumi," he said gently, "I don't think I should discuss the Commander's private conversations."

"Spoilsport! But, never mind," she shrugged a shoulder and grinned, "I'll just ask Shep when she gets back. I'm sure she'll tell me."

"Hmm."

"I think you two make a lovely couple."

Thane sighed, admitting, "I'm not sure we should."

"Why not?" Kasumi said in surprise.

"My time is short," he reminded.

"Oh Thane. If I had known I was going to lose Keiji so soon, I still wouldn't have changed a thing. Except prevented his death of course. If all of us on the Normandy thought like that, none of us would ever find love. Being able to see the end, or not, isn't really the point. It's right now what really counts, right? If you and Shep want to grab a chance at happiness then you shouldn't let anything stop you."

Thane considered this. "I've never thought of it in those terms. I suppose I worry about leaving my loved ones behind. I had expected to die in combat without ever seeing my son again, never mind meeting someone like Shepard."

"I can understand that. But if your time is short you should worry less and enjoy more. It doesn't mean you don't care."

Thane pondered this a few moments before Kasumi asked, "And how is Kolyat? Is he settling in with Bailey ok? I like Bailey. He seems like a nice man. Probably not if you get on his wrong side, but otherwise, he seems lovely."

"He is doing well. He has spoken to me about a desire to take C-Sec training when his community service is up."

"That's great news!"

"It is. It's early days yet, but we shall see. As for the two of us, also early days, but our relationship is becoming less tentative and growing warmer." Before Kasumi could comment, Thane decided to turn the tables on her and ask about one of her favourite subjects, "Have you had any luck with Jacob, yet?"

"Ooh, Jacob," she said dreamily. "Not yet, but I'm working on it!"

"That's... a positive way of looking at it."

She laughed, "I'm not stupid, Thane. I know I don't stand a chance. But it's fun to try, and you never know, right?"

"Then I suppose you..." Thane abruptly stopped, turning towards the sound of voices coming out of the lift in a general clatter of conversation. Suddenly, it felt like a sense of disquiet was rippling around the ship.

"Something's happening." Kasumi jumped up and hustled out of her room with Thane following in her wake.

"It appears," said Samara as soon as he entered the mess, "your instincts were correct."

At the late hour, and still with no word from their Commander, it had become increasingly obvious something had gone terribly wrong. The team had finally decided to discuss this 'pink elephant' Kasumi told him about. A knot formed in Thane's stomach. The same one he'd felt upon learning Koylat may be in danger, and before then, only one other time, the day he returned home to discover Irika's hours-old corpse on the floor.

Gardener was putting away the dishes from earlier, and Thane looked at the table. Shepard's mug still sat there, untouched, as if now sacred - a talisman of sorts. No one would move it now, not until Shepard returned to claim it back, or... Thane pushed that thought away, immediately.

Miranda swept by and Thane silently joined her in the lift. The two of them said nothing and when she walked towards the cockpit, Thane hung back before approaching Yeoman Chambers. He waited as he watched Mordin come out of the lab and disappear into the lift. Judging by his first conversation with the young human, noting her seemingly harmless curiosity - which was much more subtle than Kasumi's - he suspected this Cerberus employee was likely a psychologist, as well.

"Hello, Kelly."

"Hi, Thane," she turned from her workstation beside the Galaxy Map, smiling warmly.

"Can you tell me anything about the Commander's situation?"

"Uh, no. Not really. Just that Joker has been trying to reach her almost constantly for the last hour, but her comms are down. I can't really say..." She trailed off.

"I see." Thane tipped his head, "thank you, Kelly."

"Um, do you think she's ok?"

"I'm sure she is," he assured, wondering the same thing himself. "Shepard is a good soldier and able to look after herself."

"Yes," Kelly agreed, colouring at her cheekbones, slightly, "she certainly is." Finding it impossible to cover her smile, the Yeoman glanced sideways before turning back to her terminal.

Thane left wondering if Shepard was aware of Kelly's attraction towards her and couldn't help smiling. His smile soon fell as he approached the cockpit. Miranda stood between the pilot and co-pilot listening as Joker spoke wearily into his comm.

"...is the Normandy, Commander Shepard, can you read me... Commander Shepard, come in... This is Joker, Commander can you read..? Shepard, can you hear... Oh, answer me, damn it!" The pilot shook his head, throwing his hands into the air. "It's no good," he seethed in frustration.

Thane had never seen Joker so tense or serious before; it was unnerving.

"Ok," Miranda said, already moving out of the cockpit as Thane stepped aside. "Keep trying Joker. Let me know the minute you hear anything."

"Yeah sure, will do," he muttered.

As she headed for the lift, Thane again hung back. "Are you ok, Joker?"

"Yeah, I'll live. Not me I'm worried about. But thanks for asking."

"Could this just be a comms problem?"

"I guess, but, Y'know, come on. The question is what's interfering with the Commander's comm link? And more to the point, where the hell is she? That's what I'd like to know!"

"Hmm," rumbled Thane.

"Yeah, my thoughts, exactly."

"We will be ready to go if need be," Thane spoke on behalf of the team. "Just give the word, Joker."

"Oh, don't worry. I will."

"If there is anything I can do..."

"You'll be the first to know," Joker cut him off, clearly wanting to get back to his duties. Before Thane could leave, the pilot swung around in his chair. "Hey, thanks. Your kind'a cuddly for an assassin. I can see what the Commander sees in you," he swung back to his controls. "Well not that way! I mean, green doesn't look good on me - no offense. But then, what would I know..?"

Too worried to enjoy the pilots strained humour, Thane left him to continue attempting to contact Shepard. His destination was Life Support, to prepare for a potential mission, but as soon as the lift door opened onto the crew deck, it was clear the rising tension among the crew had become too much for one already volatile relationship. It sounded like all hell was about to break loose between Jack and Miranda, again.

"I don't care what that fucking Cerberus bitch says. I am not abandoning Shepard!"

"That's unfair, and you know it, Jack, I_ never_ suggested we abandon her. I said we should wait..."

"I don't wanna hear it, bitch! Get out of my way! I'm taking the shuttle and you can f..."

_"Enough!"_

Thane's thunderous roar bounced off the bulkheads, shocking everyone into a stunned silence. He strode between the two women. The whole team stood open mouthed, having never heard the usually stealthy drell raise his voice above normal speech level, let alone loud enough to deafen those up in the CIC. Grunt stood hulking in a corner, a wide grin spread across his face. The ensuing silence was only broken by Mordin, who quietly coughed once.

Thane's next words were quite a contrast, softly spoken but clearly angry, he told them, "If there's one thing we can agree on, Jack," he looked at the small woman whose chest rose and fell in anger, "Miranda," and the Cerberus woman clenching her jaw and fists, "is our respect for Commander Shepard and the reasons she brought us all together. So we must show our respect, and our loyalty, by working together as a team in her absence."

"Well said!" Garrus offered in support, quickly looking away at the sharp glance both women threw him.

Thane continued, "If we are able to help the Commander, and it seems she may need us right now, then we must all sit together and work out what we must do."

After a moments silence Jacob surprised Thane by saying, "I agree," and pulled out a chair to sit with a nod to the assassin. When Miranda backed off, Jack followed suit and they all gathered around a mess table. Everyone tried to ignore that coffee mug while they explored their options through the early hours of the morning.

Finally, they settled on Jacob leading the team, and most of the crew, armed to the teeth but only as a last resort. They were unwilling to spark a diplomatic incident between the Commander and the batarian's, if it could be helped. Preferably Garrus, Thane, and Kasumi would be dropped in, and hopefully illicit a quiet rescue, if necessary, without putting Shepard in further danger. It all came down to one thing - they simply didn't have enough information to act. Although they had their suspicions, no one knew for sure where Shepard was. All they could do was wait and be ready to move in as soon as it proved necessary. It was frustrating, to say the least. They had to trust their Commander would find a way to contact the Normandy, or that Joker and EDI would come back with some information from the passive scans they continued to run. The only thing they could all be sure of by now was; Shepard was in grave danger.

Almost two Galactic Standard days had passed since Thane had absently put Shepard's coffee mug on the table and Miranda told the exhausted team they had to go and try to get some sleep. Otherwise they would be of no use to Shepard if she needed them.

Thane only got through the next few hours by forcing himself to lie on his bunk and lose himself in memory. By late afternoon, however, he could no longer be still, and after laying his weapons out, ready to be retrieved at a moment's notice, he put on his boots and rejoined those in the mess hall.

Miranda looked up and shook her head, making the knot in Thane's stomach tighten even further. Aside from the worry over Siha, he had the added burden of knowing her mission objectives, and he was aware there may come a point when he may have to explain the Reaper's may be coming much sooner than anyone could imagine. Unable to eat anything Thane grabbed a coffee and sat with Garrus, Kasumi, and Tali.

The quarian was telling them how she and Zaeed had run across a very wound-up Grunt. With his Battlemaster AWOL, the krogan had hidden his nerves behind aggression and had tried to start a fight with Zaeed. "He was pacing the corridor in engineering," Tali explained, "So Zaeed asked," she lowered her voice as much as she could, "what's up, lad?" Tali's communicator flashed in a giggle, "Keelah! I thought Grunt was actually going to charge us for a moment. But Zaeed just strolled up to him, crossed his arms and said, 'You remind me of this young Krogan I knew once...' Oh, it was funny! Grunt just took one look and bolted for his room - anything to get away from one of Zaeed's stories!"

The next couple of hours seemed to go on forever. Tali huffed around her engines. Jack appeared in the mess hall a few times, only to stick her head around the corner and leave again, shooting Miranda a dark glare if the opportunity arose. Mostly Miranda stayed in her quarters having cited, "There's a lot of work to do." Samara meditated, Garrus calibrated, Mordin and Jacob stayed hidden in their respective duties, and Kasumi was probably cloaked somewhere near an interesting conversation.

When Thane popped in to see Joker, it was clear the pilot hadn't left his seat since yesterday morning, and he was unusually quiet. They made some small talk, but Joker was clearly busy. Thane turned to leave. But Joker's muttered, "What the shit?" Made his scales grow cold. He turned back to the pilot.

"Joker?"

"EDI, is this information on my screen for real?"

"Yes, Mr. Moreau, and my calculations are correct."

"You've got to be shitting me!"

"I am not shitting you, Mr Moreau."

"Joker?" Thane said again.

"Ah, hang on." Joker opened the ship wide comm as he looked at Thane. "Er guys, there's an asteroid on a collision course with the mass relay, and it's picking up speed! We've got maybe, shit, fifteen minutes tops before there is one big ass explosion! Miranda, let me know what you want me to do, preferably within the next few minutes."

Thane felt sick. He could see the relay outside the cockpit window, as small as his thumbnail from his perspective, and a small dot seeming to move very slowly towards it. Destroying the relay would guarantee the Normandy would be trapped in this system forever. But that would be the least of their worries, as it was possible this could also destroy the whole system.

As the Normandy approached the fast moving asteroid, and with nothing to lose, EDI switched from passive to active sensors, and swiftly detected the reactor powering the asteroid. Thane wondered to himself who would want to deliberately pilot an asteroid into a relay? Then, it hit him. Shepard's mission was to investigate rumours of a potentially imminent Reaper invasion. If this rumour proved true...

"Gods!" He muttered to himself.

Miranda appeared, telling Joker to hold out as long as possible in the hope Shepard would contact them, but be ready to go through the relay at the last minute. Behind her, other members of the team were gathering outside the cockpit. Thane wondered if Siha was possibly on that asteroid, steering it towards her own destruction, in a heroic effort to stop the Reapers. He considered asking Joker to drop him onto the asteroid in some last ditch attempt to find her, and if not rescue the Commander, at least die by her side. But though he was no pilot, Thane understood enough to know Joker was already backing the ship away from the object, which had suddenly become a huge, dangerous missile.

Thane gripped the back of the co-pilots seat, listening to Joker and EDI while they worked, occasionally interjected by Miranda. His heart was hammering at the thought of leaving Siha behind to die as this system was destroyed. He desperately wanted to do something, but as the asteroid approached the relay it became increasingly clear time was about to run out. Thane hadn't realised how long he'd been holding his breath, when there was a burst of static over the comm, and the faint but beautiful sound of her voice came through.

"...epard to Normandy. Joker, do you read me?"

"Hell, yes Commander, we read you!" Joker's beaming smile fell when there was no reply. "Commander? This is the Normandy, we read you... What the..?" He carried on trying but EDI told him there was something interfering with the comm link, and she was scanning for the Commander. Again Thane held his breath until EDI announced she had located Shepard and gave Joker the coordinates, adding, "We have two minutes and forty nine seconds to reach the relay Mr. Moreau."

"Holy shit..!" This was the last thing Joker muttered, his hands dancing over his controls as he brought the Normandy into a rapid turn and decent towards the fast moving asteroid, matching its speed and working hard not to kill them all in a collision. He only had one chance at this.

The silence was broken by the co-pilot calmly saying, "Commander Shepard, Normandy, in bound for pick up."

EDI announced, "The outer airlock door is open."

Most of the team moved back towards the Galaxy Map, while Thane and Miranda left the cockpit to watch the inner door of the airlock. Everyone fell against bulkheads or leaned against workstations when EDI said, "Commander Shepard is aboard. Cycling airlock."

Thane and Miranda readied themselves to assist Shepard, in case she was injured, so they were both nearly knocked over when she came flying out before the airlock door had fully opened.

"Get us out of here, Joker!" Shepard yelled, her feet pounding against the deck as she charged into the cockpit.

She ripped off her helmet to watch the mass relay loom ever closer. Joker said nothing, his teeth clenched in concentration as he pushed the ship as hard as she would go in an effort to outrun the asteroid, which was right on their tail. It could still be too late.

As soon as the mass effect field reached out to grab the Normandy, Shepard spun towards the Galaxy Map, dropping her helmet as she pounded past Thane and Miranda. Swinging herself up by the rail, she stared at the map for many moments. It was obvious what she was waiting to witness - the destruction of the Bahak system. Thane watched as she slowly sagged against the rail, her eyes closed, she bent her head. It was impossible to tell what she was feeling, but clearly she was exhausted.

No one spoke, not even Joker, who slowly came towards them, white as a sheet. Shepard slowly stood up and Thane saw the evidence of her recent battles, bruises marked her cheek and one eye; there were cuts to her lip and forehead. Wearily, she turned towards the lift, ignoring the armoury, which would have been her usual first port of call. As the door opened she turned back to the silent CIC and sighed, "I'll debrief you all tomorrow." Offering a small smile to her pilot, she added a breathy, "Good work, Joker," then stepped back into the lift. Looking at the floor as the door closed, she missed the crew's collective sigh of relief.

Exhausted themselves, most of the team quickly made for their respective quarters, or to the mess to grab a bite to eat before going to bed. Thane stood opposite Kelly, unsure of what to do, when Garrus approached.

"You going up there?"

"I suspect Shepard needs rest." Thane said.

"True, but she might like to see a friendly face first. I'll probably go see her in a bit, give her time to settle and, whatever. Unless you go."

"I am uncertain if..." Thane trailed off at the stare Garrus was giving him. Taking the hint he said, "I can at least ask if Shepard needs anything."

Garrus nodded once, clearly satisfied his friend and Commander would be in good hands. They stepped into the lift together, parting ways as Thane entered Life Support to stow his guns, and gather himself.

There he collapsed to his knees in relief, a flood of tightly held emotions rushing out of him in one breath. He was then held on the floor when a coughing fit gripped him, his chest in spasms. He clung onto the side of his bunk, lungs burning. Eventually he picked himself up and sat on his bunk to rest a moment, waiting for the pain in his lungs and throat to subside. Once his guns were stowed, Thane changed out of his leathers into a light black tunic and trousers before padding into the quiet mess. Despite his fatigue, Thane smiled when he picked up Shepard's mug to give it a wash. She didn't often drink coffee later in the day, so he gambled on tea and took it up to her cabin.

She was sitting on the end of her bed, elbows on her knees, the wide neck of her grey sleep top sagging over one shoulder. Her hair was damp from a shower and she also wore a haunted look in her eyes.

"I don't wish to disturb you," Thane said gently, as soon as the door opened, "I brought some tea, and wanted to see if there was anything else you needed."

At the mention of tea she smiled a little and motioned him over, taking the mug with gratitude, and closing her eyes as she sipped the liquid. "Oh, that's really nice," she sighed, "thank you."

"You're welcome," he smiled, hesitating when she motioned for him to sit. "Wouldn't you rather sleep?"

"Not until I've drunk this," she held up the mug briefly, not knowing the significance it had taken on over the last two days.

Ignoring the seats Thane sat on the floor cross legged in front of her, not quite within touching distance.

"So, how was the crew while I was off on my jolly's?" There was little humour to her voice.

Thane considered his answer. "We were concerned," he admitted. At her raised eyebrow he added dryly, "Jack and Miranda nearly killed each other."

Shepard burst out laughing, quickly putting the tea on the floor so she could throw her head back and slap her hands together. As the laughter wore off, tears came and she rubbed her hands down her face, angrily. Thane rose to comfort her but she stopped him by holding up a hand, saying, "If you hold me I'll cry more and I really don't want to do that. I'm sorry, I'm just tired," she offered him a smile before adding, sarcastically, "though, it's not like I didn't sleep while I was down there."

"I'm, glad you were able to rest," Thane offered, wanting to ask about her injuries, and what had happened to her.

"Only because they knocked me out!" Shepard said through gritted teeth.

Thane blinked and waited for her to say more, but she simply picked up her mug and sipped. So, he asked, "Would you like to talk about it?"

"I'm not sure you'd want to know, to be honest," she muttered darkly.

"Actually," he told her gently, "I'd very much like to know, Siha."

"Ok," she sighed, "quick version now. Full version tomorrow. Assuming I get a chance before Alliance brass arrest me or something."

Thane's lips parted in surprise but he said nothing.

"Well, you'll be pleased, possibly amazed, to learn I got past maybe twenty or so guards before I found Dr. Kenson. Getting out was more fun. Actually it was a pain in the ass, but this Kenson was pretty handy, as was the shuttle we used to scorch the shuttle bay on our way out." Shepard laughed without mirth. Then shaking her head, she muttered, "Damn it, Thane, I had a bad feeling on the shuttle when Kenson said she'd take me back to her base and show me proof the Reapers were coming. I just… knew something was up. It wasn't what she said as such... hell, I don't know what it was." While she spoke Shepard watched her fish, or glanced around her cabin, as if unable to make eye contact with him. "Anyway, without boring you, Kenson was indoctrinated, along with the rest of the base. She dumped me in this room with 'Object Rho' a Reaper artefact, and a shit load of mercs shooting at me. Not to mention one of those damn mechs." She sighed. "I just kept shooting until there was too many of them and, well, I honestly believed that was it and I was dead, again." Shepard sipped her tea then, with a sly smile, muttered, "I got that damn mech, though. Anyway, seems I surprised them by waking up in one of their labs. I hacked a LOKI mech, killed one of the scientists, and got myself out. After that, it was mostly shooting my way out until I could find a way to contact Joker and get off that damn rock. Oh and I threw an asteroid into a mass relay, destroying it and, oh, about three hundred thousand innocent batarian lives. The end." She shrugged, adding darkly, "Well it was for all those batarians."

Thane listened to what she had gone through with growing horror, wanting nothing more than to go to her. Instead, he said, "You stopped a Reaper invasion..?"

"By about, oh, two minutes, I reckon." Shepard's voice was thick with emotion. "The batarians will probably hail me as one of the most prominent mass murderers who ever lived, and, well, they're right."

"I cannot begin to know what it's like, to carry the burdens you carry, and it's unlikely I can tell you anything you don't already know. But, Siha, you are a warrior, a soldier who faced an agonising choice, and you didn't run from it. You saved the lives of billions today by stopping the Reapers."

"Postponed," she put down the mug to bury her face in her hands. "Only postponed, and we're nowhere near ready for when they do arrive. How many more damn lives have to be… thrown away before..." She couldn't continue as angry tears fell, and Thane was quickly at her side. She didn't resist this time, collapsing onto his shoulder with barely the energy to sob.

He held her for a long time. Her quiet tears stopped falling, her body began to relax, and she drifted into an exhausted sleep. Even then he waited, hoping she would sink into a deep enough sleep so putting her into bed wouldn't disturb her. She stirred as soon as he moved and he whispered, "Lie down Siha, allow the warrior-angel her sleep."

She only had the energy to silently crawl under the covers Thane laid over her. Satisfied she was at peace he put his hand on the mattress to push himself up, but Shepard's hand snaked over his. "Thane?" She asked without opening her eyes.

"Yes Siha?"

"Are you tired, too, or is it still early?"

He held back a chuckle the same way he had been holding back his own fatigue for several hours now, simply admitting, "Yes, I am tired."

"Fall asleep with me here, if you want."

"I..." He wasn't entirely sure if she was fully awake and aware of what she said.

As if in understanding she opened one eye and looked at him before rolling to the other side of the bed, sliding her hand away from his at the last minute. "If you don't want to, it's ok," she almost whispered. "We can talk tomorrow. It's up to you."

Thane was so unsure, this was completely unexpected. Right now, this woman was vulnerable and he would never take advantage. But then, she was trusting him with her vulnerability and need. "As long as you want me by your side, Siha, I will be honoured to stay with you."

Her reply was to put a hand behind her, palm up, so he slipped off his boots and gently crawled in beside her. He took her hand and allowed himself to be pulled into her back, his arm curling around her. The sensation of her hair against his cheek was strange, but not unpleasant. He could feel her muscles relaxing, the grip on his hand softening, and her slight but deeply comforting weight sinking into his chest. The smell of her damp hair made him wish he could fill his lungs properly. Though she was already asleep, Thane made sure to leave a gap between their hips, not wanting her to discover the physical effects this attractive woman had on him.

For the first time in over ten years, Thane didn't have to reach for a memory to comfort him into sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five.**

_Big Goddamned Heroes._

She was paralysed, terrified, the Illusive Man was pacing in front of her, furious. "What's left of humanity will be nothing but husks in a few days time and it's all _your _fault!"

The noise of the universe ending rumbled towards her. She was running blindly. The world tore itself apart all around her, the floor buckled violently, tipping her off her feet.

"Thane!" She cried out, only just realising he was with her, sliding away from her! She reached towards him, caught his wrist, but only momentarily, before it was torn from her grasp. He was too close to the edge. Too late! Then it stopped.

Thane's weight hung from her hand, and it hurt, it wracked her whole body with awful pain.

It wasn't Thane.

"Siha," grinned the Illusive Man, looking up at her. His black eyes shined as he told her in a sympathetic voice, "It's too late."

She tried to let go, but his other hand reached up and he pulled her into the abyss.

"Recent reports of the death of Alliance Admiral David Anderson have been met with an outpouring of grief. Admiral Steven Hackett, and the Citadel Council, described Admiral Anderson as a heroic man who gave his life to end the Reaper invasion. Ex-Councillor Anderson worked tirelessly for peace during his lifetime, and is said to have been a close friend of the once disgraced Commander Shepard who is still listed as missing in action. A special report detailing the life of Admiral Anderson will be available on ANN within the next news hour. In other news..."

Thane had been standing behind Garrus for many minutes, listening to the news broadcast, before Garrus realised he was there. Instead of making the usual jibe about Thane's unnecessary use of stealth, Garrus simply smiled, taking a step back to look Thane up and down.

"Well now, there's a sight for sore eyes."

"I could say the same about you Garrus." Thane nodded at the turian's new armour.

"Bit shiny for my taste, and I kind of miss seeing that missing piece." He rubbed his talons against the neck of his suit. "So, how does it feel?"

Thane briefly shifted his weight from foot to foot, and tugged at the collar of his leather coat with both hands. "It feels good."

Garrus laughed, "Just like old times eh? Er, Kolyat?"

"He gave me his blessing."

"Really?"

"May I share the memory with you?

"Of course."

Thane looked down at the floor, not really seeing it as he spoke.

_"Defiance masks his fear. I tell him the Collector ship is lifeless. His eyes flicker over my weapons. I explain to him I can no longer sit doing nothing. My relief visible when he says he understands, that he did not save me to stop me living. We wrap our arms around each other's shoulders._

"I carry one less burden because of Kolyat."

Garrus nodded. "Good, I'm glad. He's a fine boy, you..."

"Fuck! Look at you, Garrus!" Jack yelled from halfway across the busy shuttle bay, walking towards them with a grin. A shotgun slung across the small of her back, her black leather halter neck was almost as shiny as Garrus' armour.

From behind her Miranda's voice drawled, "And here was me thinking I might look out of place."

She fell into step with Jack, then left her behind as the ex-con stopped dead to look Miranda up and down. "No fucking way!"

"Just for you, Jack - and for old times' sake." Miranda grinned turning a full circle on her heel to show off her old uniform, minus the Cerberus logo.

"Hell, Miranda," Jack managed to scowl and grin at the same time, "now we all feel overdressed."

The humour only partly served to ease the tension they were all feeling.

Kasumi and Mordin turned up together quickly followed by Liara, and the team looked around at each other. All wore their familiar uniforms, apart from Garrus who shook his head when Liara suggested, "Garrus, you're so shiny you might draw enemy fire."

"Or blind them," Kasumi added with a giggle.

"Indeed," Garrus muttered, rolling his eyes, one of which was covered with the tiny opaque screen of his visor, "just like old times!"

"Nah," Jack quipped, "you don't have that stick up your ass anymore, Garrus."

Thane looked at him. "I believe Jack just paid you a compliment."

"Riiight!" Garrus muttered. After a pause he grumped, "Where is that damn shuttle?"

Miranda raised an eyebrow. "Twitchy, Garrus?"

"You mean you're not? Come on, a Collector ship, here? After all this time? What's not to get twitchy about exactly?"

"Agreed. Strange," Mordin took in a deep breath, "but speculation pointless. Must investigate."

They watched shuttles come and go in the three bays this docking station now served, spilling out troops and refugees before being boarded again with people and supplies.

"Repent!" Insisted a batarian to no one in particular as he walked by. "The end times are upon us."

"Is it just me who wants to punch that guy?" Jack asked scowling at the batarian's back.

"No." Garrus and Miranda said as one.

He reminded Thane of the preacher on Omega.

_"Humans are a blight on galactic purity. You sir! You are a blight! And you! And you human! And you." He points to Shepard._

_"That guy is really beginning to piss me off!" She mutters. She tries to engage him in conversation, argue with him, but the batarian cuts her off, drones over her. She stomps away fast, Grunt and I jog to catch up._

_"You should've punched him like a Pyjack, Shepard!" Grunt laughs, but she is in a bad mood and ignores the quip. I try not to smile at her fire. _

_Looking for supplies she speaks to a quarian, Kenn, giving him 1000 credits so he can continue with his Pilgrimage. Her generosity and kindness, despite her mood, surprises me. Impresses me. She is a truly remarkable woman._

"Bloody hell!" Boomed a familiar voice from the direction of a crowd disembarking the nearest shuttle, snapping Thane out of his pleasant recollection. "I didn't expect a bloody welcoming committee!"

"Zaeed!?" Exclaimed Jack, zigzagging past a few people to give him a punch on the arm.

The ex merc didn't break stride as he herded Jack back to the team with a grin. "Been stuck in a bloody field hospital last few bleedin' days, haven't I? I was chewing on the walls to get out of there. Bastard Reaper fell on me, or near as damn it, anyway." He looked around the team, shaking a few hands. "Bloody hell Miranda, you haven't changed a bit! So, who's the drell?" A quick double take and Zaeed Massani took a step back. "Krios? Goddam! I thought you were dead!"

"I got better," Thane replied, borrowing a quote from his Siha. Shaking Zaeed's hand he briefly filled the ex-merc in and Miranda told him the rest.

"Bloody Collector ship, eh? Right, I'll have some of that."

"You've just come from Earth!" Garrus remarked.

"Like I said, been in bed last few bleedin' days, haven't I? I'm ready for the bastards. Got all my gear." He half turned to show his weaponry.

"Do you have a breather?" Miranda asked.

"Course!" Zaeed rolled his good eye. "Still got the spare Kasumi stole for me from the Normandy."

Kasumi looked around the shuttle bay pretending not to have heard.

Miranda first shook her head then nodded to Massani. "Welcome back to the team."

They were now eight strong.

"So, Liara isn't it?" Zaeed sidled over to the doctor and told her about an asari he once met who looked very much like her.

Finally their shuttle arrived. Slightly bigger than the Kodiak, it accommodated them all comfortably, but Zaeed remained standing. Thane hoped it wasn't the prelude to the telling of war stories, as he was hoping for some quiet meditation before the task ahead. It felt good to be finally doing something again.

The young human shuttle pilot came out of the cockpit to greet the team. "Hiya," she smiled, "this everyone?" To their nods she said, "Right. Well it's not far, but with all the crap floating around out there it'll be a slow ride I'm afraid."

Miranda smiled, "Just do the best you can."

"Aye, ma'am." She nodded. "Er, just wanted to say it's great working with you guys, a real honour to pilot the crew who worked on the Normandy with Commander Shepard." The pilot grinned, squirming a little.

'A fan?' Mouthed Miranda with a roll of her eyes, making sure the pilot missed the gesture.

Liara said, "Thank you, it's kind of you to say," putting the pilot at ease again.

"Cool. Ok, well if anyone wants to ride shotgun with me feel free. It would be great to hear some stories about Commander Shepard."

Zaeed brightened, "Oh I can tell you plenty of stories about Shepard," he grinned and went to claim his seat in the cockpit.

"Be careful," Garrus warned, "he might melt your ears."

"Oh don't worry about me," she grinned, "I grew up an Alliance brat. Nothing shocks me." The pilot turned to return to her seat, but whipped back around. "Oh crap, sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Sarah Williams."

"Williams?" Garrus said slowly.

"Yeah, Ashley's sister."

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams?" Garrus stood.

"Yeah," Sarah smiled, "I know you and Doctor T'Soni worked with my sis."

Liara had also risen out of her seat and shook the pilots hand saying sadly, "Not for very long, uh, unfortunately."

"Yeah, I know. But it's nice to meet some of the people who served with Ash."

"She was a fine soldier." Garrus told her.

Sarah nodded, "The Commander sent us a lovely letter when Ash died. Anyway, got a pilot to shuttle, uh, I mean, a shuttle to pilot," she rolled her eyes, "if you need anything just holler, ok?"

She left Liara and Garrus looking at each other in shock. As they returned to their seats Garrus said, "Looks like she won't be asking for your autograph, Miranda."

"Well," Kasumi grinned, "of all the pilots in all the world eh?"

"Casablanca," Thane said smoothly.

"Sort of."

"What?" Jack frowned.

"While we were on the Normandy," Kasumi explained, "I gave Thane an education in ancient Earth literature and classical movies."

"Ok, bored already!" Jack pretended to yawn then paused, "Hang on, how could he remem... Oh shit, yeah."

As Kasumi gave a disinterested Jack the accurate quote Thane considered this new connection to Siha, albeit by proxy. He knew Ashley had only been aboard the Normandy a few months before she sacrificed her life to save others. Yet Shepard knew a great deal about Ashley's family. It had surprised Thane how much time Shepard spent on getting to know those who served with her. It was always to her cost when she lost someone, it seemed, and Ashley's death had left a particularly big scar on her heart, despite not knowing the young woman for very long. This pilot was another small twist to the turns his life had taken since that evening in Dantius Towers, when, instead of dying as he expected, he joined forces with a warrior-angel and was very much brought back to life for what would become an incredible journey; one that, amazingly, still continued - though it was empty without his Siha.

The team fell silent as Sarah manoeuvred the shuttle carefully past the debris. Once allied ships ripped apart by the Reapers, sliced up like hot knifes through asari spiced butter, millions dying in the carnage. This was a vast, ever changing, graveyard. Thane shivered.

"Ah!" A tiny sound in the chamber, it was a scream in her head. Her heart thrummed a weak, rapid beat as she blindly ran from the Cerberus troops, now more like husks than humans. Ghouls who didn't go down when you shot them and who's fists felt like the blows of a Maw Hammer. She tried to protect her face for the anticipated pounding that never came. The human-husks now floated around her, smoky black, without form or substance and they whispered to her in familiar voices.

_"Shepard!"_

_"Shepard?"_

_"Shepard Commander."_

_"Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness."_

_"Are you here to kill me?"_ Asked the Rachnai Queen. She wanted to answer but Wrex said, _"I made the mistake of trusting you. I know how this will end."_

_"Whatever you come up with you can count me in."_ Ash told her.

_"This war needs to be won."_ Diana Allers said. Then her old friend Garrus whispered, _"I like to expect the worst, there's a small chance I'll be pleasantly surprised." _

_"I hear we have a galaxy to save? Big goddamned heroes." _Zaeed said. Grunt agreed, _"Shepard is my Battlemaster, she has no match."_

_"Someone else might have gotten it wrong."_ Mordin insisted.

_"Does this unit have a soul?"_ Legion asked.

_"I've lived a full life,"_ Doctor Chakwas told her, _"I have no regrets. I hope we'll see each other again."_

Tali lamented, _"I wish Shepard were here."_

_"Help me! Everyone's dying!" _She looked for the little boy, but the Illusive Man grabbed her.

_"I just wanna know,"_ Kaiden asked, _"is the person I followed into hell and back still in there, somewhere?"_

_"Just keep fighting the good fight."_ Anderson whispered.

_"Finish this, promise me!"_ Miranda begged her.

_"You are a great protector Siha. Just don't make the same mistake I did. It seems there will be no one to mourn me when I die."_

_Thane! _She tried to shout, but the Illusive Man laughed along with the little boy she couldn't see. _"You're a fool Shepard." _

The whispering reached a crescendo and the flames surrounded them again. This time, they burned her from within.

"Amonkira, Lord of Hunters, Grant that our hands be steady, Our aim be true and our feet swift. And if the worst comes to pass, grant us forgiveness."

"Amen," added Sarah, looking out from the cockpit at the tightly gathered group.

Thane tilted his head at the pilot before pulling on his mask while the rest of the group donned their helmets and breathers.

Confirming all their comms were linked Miranda told Williams to take them in.

Though a vast area to cover, the Collector ship was mostly caverns and hallways which criss-crossed each other, and with no welcoming committee to greet them, the team decided to split up into four's or two's at each junction to cover more ground as quickly as possible. Even so it took many hours for them to work down the length of the ship, meeting up where they could then splitting up again to continue their search for answers as to what this Collector ship was doing here. Thane wasn't the only one beginning to think there were none, and the question would forever remain unanswered long after the Alliance destroyed this shell of a ship. For that's all it was, an empty shell. As each step was taken, each dark corner carefully searched, each chamber swept, it became more and more obvious this was a barren ship. An empty relic of times gone by, some practical joker among the Gods had deemed to leave in the Sol System.

Thane almost wished for the Collectors to appear, and provide a battle with which to distract his thoughts.

_Another falls and she rolls around the corner to push on but, Gods! What is that? It floats towards us, cutting the air with deadly lightening. My bullets and biotics have little effect. I don't know what to do and am afraid for us all. Then I see the knots of energy flying towards it, Shepard's favourite missile launcher. Thank the Gods, it's working! _

In a desperate bid to focus Thane turned to Garrus, asking the question no one else would, "Do you think she's still alive?"

"Who? Shepard? Yes! They'll find her."

"They probably will, but what if it's too late?"

"What if..?" Garrus stopped walking and looked at Thane angrily. "I spent two years mourning her before she came back, I'm not about to go writing her off again now and neither should you! Frankly I'm..." Garrus trailed off with a sigh. He gave Thane's arm a quick squeeze and started walking again. "This is Commander Shepard. She comes back from the dead, remember?"

By now the two men had put their rifles away, only readying their hands to reach for their weapons before quietly cresting a rise, or silently approaching a corner. They were a long way into the ship and had found absolutely nothing at all. No terminals, no pods, no bodies, no signs of life, or death. No movement, unless you counted the dust floating almost invisibly around them. All they had to look at was the cave-like bulkheads and metallic superstructure surrounding them and the occasional barrier still standing in the larger caverns.

This Garrus conveyed, with a shake of his head, as the two men reached a junction point and all but Jack and Zaeed were waiting for them. They wearily joined the group sat on the floor as Miranda got up from the barrier she was perched on and began to pace, speaking quietly in case of enemies further ahead.

"Well, I don't get it. Why gut the thing then dump it into the middle of a war?"

"We can't be certain of that Miranda," Thane pointed out, "it could have arrived shortly before the science vessel found it."

"I don't buy that," Miranda shook her head, "not unless we find an explosive with the yield of a Mass Effect relay and a note from the Reapers saying 'screw you' as the thing counts down to zero. I reckon it's been here all along. Maybe even before the final assault."

"Hmm," Morden picked himself off the floor, stretched then held an elbow as he crooked his finger against his chin. "No Collectors. So Collector ship no use to Reapers. Real question is," he breathed in, "who is responsible for bringing said ship here?"

Miranda stopped pacing like she had just walking into a geth barrier and stood frozen to the spot.

Liara frowned, "What's wrong Miranda?"

"I..." Miranda shook her head, her features slowly darkening as she whispered, "bloody hell, no!"

"Miranda?" Garrus hissed, standing along with the rest of the team.

She half turned towards them, opening her mouth to speak when Jack's voice preceded the arrival of her and Zaeed, "Well this has got to be the most boring mission in the entire history of missions!"

"Shhh!" Miranda warned.

"Hey, don't shush me!" Argued Jack in a whisper. "What's the big deal? There's nothing here!"

Thane was hardly listening as he watched Miranda and considered Mordin's words. Could they be thinking the same thoughts as he was? Or was he simply clutching at straws in his desperation to be reunited with Siha? He approached Miranda and gripped her arms with more force than he intended, demanding, "What is it, Miranda? Tell us!"

The white of her old uniform took on a slight orange sheen as he looked at her through his mask. She didn't flinch at his tone, nor at his vice like grip against her coiled muscles. The tension settled on them all like the weight of the galaxy on their shoulders. It was a familiar feeling.

Miranda spoke in a soft voice, "He lied to me and I didn't see it."

"Who?" Garrus hissed.

Thane let go, unable to speak, filled with hope and horror.

Miranda licked her lips behind her clear breather and looked at him. "You were there, Thane, and you, Garrus - on the Collector base after defeating the Human Reaper."

Garrus frowned, mandibles twitching, but Thane was nodding before Miranda had finished speaking. He sought the memory and turned to share it with the group.

_"She comes to me, face flushed, fringe damp with sweat, eyes shining in victory but she frowns. I too want to plant the bomb and leave but I activate my omni-tool. She stands before me, I can feel her battle-heat as I look through the Illusive Man and only see her."_

Thane blinked, trying to filter through his memory for the relevant details.

_"The Illusive Man tells Shepard he has a better option to blowing the base, a timed radiation pulse would kill the Collectors and leave the technology intact, which he believes can be used to fight the Reapers. Shepard decides a threat this big, rules go out the window and she sets the pulse. I am disquieted by this decision, I believe she is making the wrong choice."_

Miranda nodded and Garrus said, "She told me, only a few days after that, she was beginning to regret that decision."

"Yeah," Zaeed chimed in, "I told Shepard that would bite her in the ass someday."

Thane nodded. "But despite her mistrust of the Illusive man, Shepard thought he might be able to do some good against the Reapers, she also hoped he may pour much of his resources into this project and perhaps do less... harm elsewhere, rather than with experiments such as Project Zero."

Jack muttered something unintelligible and likely unrepeatable as Miranda pulled a face saying, "More like just take his eye off the ball and let his scientists do whatever they like."

"Wait," said Jack, catching up with the conversation, "your saying Cerberus..."

"I can't be certain," interrupted Miranda, throwing up her hands and pacing again. "But if I am then Shepard wasn't far off about the Illusive Man having to pool all his resources. Last time I spoke to him he told me he didn't have the funds to send the science team's through the Omega 4 relay, so he had abandoned the project. He said the information EDI and the Commander sent was valuable enough."

"What?" Jack sneered, "And you believed the son of a bitch? I know you were his cheerleader, Miranda, but I didn't think you were ever that stupid!"

Miranda stopped pacing and faced the team, hands on her hips. "I had no reason not to believe him at the time, Jack! It was before I told him where to stick his job and, well, Cerberus wasn't as big as the Illusive Man liked people to believe," she sighed. "It used to be, but some years ago there had been some big losses. The turian military took out his base..."

"Really?" Garrus interrupted. "I didn't know anything about this."

"It was a few years back, some of the other cells got stormed at the same time and the Alliance arrested many of his backers for financing a terrorist organisation. It scared the rest of them away, most of them anyway. By all accounts the Illusive Man would have been killed by the turian's if it hadn't been for Kai Leng."

Thane glowered from underneath his mask, as he always did at the mention of this man's name. He pushed away the memory of the fight with Leng that was to shorten his time with Siha even further. This was a memory of pain and fury as Kai Leng's sword ripped through his body, holding Thane in place until it razored out and he sank to his knees, into the blood spilling down his legs. Only the desire to follow Shepard as she chased Leng, praying she would be unharmed, made him get up. When she returned to him, horrified by his wound, Thane meant to say goodbye, to tell her he loved her, believing he would be dead within minutes. Instead he insisted she not lose this opportunity to go after Leng. She was torn, but he was glad his warrior-angel did the right thing and pursued Leng.

"After that," Miranda continued, "the Illusive Man struggled to rebuild his empire. By the time Cerberus was back on its feet, he poured what he had left of his resources into Project Lazarus and building the SR2."

"So," Liara suggested, "this must have been how he got onto the Citadel?"

"Yes," Mordin nodded, "and, perhaps back again? Would solve the mystery of his disappearance. Must have a shuttle."

The team searched each other's faces, those whose faces could be seen behind their breathers. Finally Kasumi voiced the question now burning in all their minds. "And Shep?"

"Come on!" Miranda spun on her heel and marched towards the exit. "We can't be certain of anything yet, so let's go find out."

The team had already been shuffling their feet, ready to go, and surged after her. All except Thane who stared at the floor, his mind trying to grasp the implications of this latest twist, failing to really believe the possibilities before him. If the Illusive Man was somehow responsible for this Collector ship then he may well be on board and if he was here...

"Miranda," Thane said as soon as he caught up with her, "I suggest we ask pilot Williams to look for a shuttle bay or a drop point which may contain a small vessel."

"Good idea," she nodded then spoke to the floor, "Sarah, how do you feel about..."

"Already on it," interrupted the voice in all their ears. "Scanning now but I doubt that will tell us much so I'm flying as close as I dare for a visual."

"Good job. Be careful! Miranda out." To the team she said, "Ok, same as before, let's go," leading them to a wide opening and into a slightly curving corridor. One arm swung by her side, the other hung stiffly, her fingers just inches away from the Hand Cannon at her thigh.

Walking with her Thane said, "According to the conversation Admiral Anderson recorded, the Illusive Man was indoctrinated."

"I know," she replied through gritted teeth, not taking her eyes off the tunnel ahead. "Let's hope my comment about the high yield bomb wasn't prophetic, eh?"

"Hmm." Thane was about to fall back but added, "I apologise for gripping you so tightly Miranda, I hope I did not hurt you."

She smiled, "No need, it takes a lot more than that to hurt me, Thane."

"I don't doubt. None the less I hope you will recall my sincere apology if you find any bruising later. I did not mean..."

"I know," she glanced at him before facing eyes forward again. "Were all going through it, Thane, maybe you more than most. But we're going to bloody find some answers on this ship! I know it. I just, I don't know why I didn't see it sooner."

"I have asked myself the same question, Miranda," Thane offered. He noted the look of determination in her eyes and hoped she was right and they would resolve this mystery. However, what they might find now scared the hell out of him.

He fell back to re-join Garrus as the team began walking up a steady slope towards the arched bulkhead emitting a soft defused light above. It was the only indication there was still power to the ship. After a long easy ascent they crested onto a wide ledge which ran left and right down to a cavern below.

The team automatically split up and Thane gave Garrus a nod as the turian moved right and he moved left. Re-grouping on the cavern floor, the team swept the chamber, moving back the way they had come to approach its only exit.

"Hmm," Mordin said quietly, "airlock."

Kasumi shimmered into view and at a nod from Miranda, began hacking the door while the others stood guard. It didn't take Kasumi long to gain entrance and after a quick look at the team she opened it.

Everyone's shoulders relaxed and they moved into the empty airlock.

"Er, hang on," Jack cautioned, "we're sure this isn't an outer airlock right?"

"Positive." Miranda smiled, dropping her arm. After a few seconds her omni-tool shut itself off.

"Hmm," Garrus purred, "how good would that look on the extranet? The Normandy's finest survive all the odds, only to accidentally blow themselves out of an airlock on an empty ship!"

A few sniggered but were cut off by Miranda, "We could be close, so be ready."

Thane, Garrus, and Zaeed already had their weapons trained on the door ahead. Jack and Liara powered on their biotics, the latter also bringing up her pistol. Mordin reached for his submachine gun.

With a nod from Miranda, Kasumi closed the hatch behind them to cycle the airlock. As soon as it showed green she announced, "Going dark," hitting the door control and vanishing.

They faced another long empty corridor leading to another locked door at the end. But this time six doors separated the bulkhead, three either side opposite each other, all showing green.

"Glad I don't have to hack all of those!" Kasumi's voice whispered. "Going right," she informed them, enabling three of the team to join her at the first door, while the rest took the one opposite on the left. They surrounded their respective doors and opened them. The two teams were almost mirror images of each other as they moved in at the same time. They swept each large room in complete silence, only using nods and hand gestures to communicate.

As they entered each room, Thane's creeping sense of urgency grew. He looked around at the banks of black terminals, lab equipment, pads and chairs. It all seemed pristine, as if waiting to be used.

Repeating the same exercise twice more the team were soon huddling together several feet from the locked door.

"Looks like you were right." Garrus muttered.

Miranda nodded unhappily.

"All terminals, no power. Pads same, unused or wiped clean." Mordin pushed his palm up into a shrug.

"What the hell were those fuckers up to now?" Jack's voice had begun in a whisper, but finished in a loud snap.

Garrus and Thane automatically stepped away from the team, rifles trained on the door ahead as they eyed the red light.

"We can figure out what they were up to later," Miranda told them. "Let's keep moving."

Kasumi hacked, vanished and this time they were faced with a large vertical chamber, its staircase disappearing down into the darkness below, and up just a few flights towards a domed roof and the chambers only light source, the same glow the rest of the ship emanated. Garrus eyed Miranda, then snapped his eyes down and up before settling them on her again. She shook her head; she didn't want to split the team up this time.

"Probably more labs," she whispered pointing down. Pointing up she said, "Main hub is my guess." Looking at the unforgiving metallic steps she frowned, "Noisy, take it slow."

Everyone nodded apart from Thane, at this point he was unable to go slow; the urge to move as fast as possible almost overwhelmed him. In a low rumble he said, "I can move swift and silent. I'd like to scout ahead."

"Your biotics?" Miranda asked. "You're well enough?"

Thane raised a fist surrounded in a swirl of blue power and nodded. He didn't show his desperation to press on, but the discovery of these labs confirmed Miranda's suspicions. The Illusive Man had spent some time gutting this vessel to install, potentially, just a few labs. Thane didn't care at this point what his intentions had been, just that the Illusive Man may be present on this ship and if he was here... Could it be possible? Could the Gods have guided him here for a reason? Could Siha..? He hardly dare consider it, because if she was here she was most likely dead in a lab somewhere. Or at least unsalvageable from whatever experiments had likely been performed on her. Even so, Thane felt an urgency like no other. He feared time had already run out long ago, yet a part of him insisted there was no time to waste.

"Next junction," Miranda whispered.

With a nod he was gone, powering his legs up the steps two at a time. The pumping rhythm of his boots pounding against the hard surface sounded like water dripping onto grass, almost no sound at all. At the top of the first flight Kasumi materialised, watching Thane grab the handrail to swing himself around and up the next flight. He was already several flights above the team when they joined Kasumi, spreading out into a slower, slightly noisier ascent.

At the top of the last flight Thane was faced with a small archway and reached over his shoulder for his rifle, before crouching low to peer around the corner. The small corridor was clear and he moved in, following its curve around to his left. He paused at the corner to look over a ledge and down into the vast central chamber which ran almost the length of the Collector ship. Using his sniper scope he spent some time searching as much of the area as he could, but again it was just more empty space. The only giveaway Collectors ever roamed this ship were the hexagonal platforms, now inert, laying on the floor a long way below his feet.

Thane shuddered.

_The platforms violently tilt. I'm thrown to the floor. Sliding rapidly I see the edge closing on my feet. Twisting onto my chest my fingers seek purchase, but it's no good. Gods no! Siha! She is diving after me, reaching for my hand, determined only on rescue._

_'No Siha!' I want to tell her. 'Save yourself! Not a dying man.' But there is no time._

_Her fingers find my wrist, but slip away. My body slides over the edge and I am _not_ ready! My fingers grip the platform but it's useless, they are snatched away as my body starts to fall into the abyss. I look up to my Siha, to say goodbye and claim one last memory of this warrior-angel I have been so blessed to know, before I close my eyes to the fall._

_She has me! Her fingers a vice around my wrist and I help her haul my body up as the black depths below almost refuse to let me go. I thank the Gods for being granted more time as she pushes me forwards and we run!_

_Joker awaits in the shuttle. Garrus leaps forward and I am beside him in seconds. The three of us give her covering fire as she rushes towards us, the Collectors snapping at her heels, their shots eating away at her shields._

_Gods no, the floor! Now the abyss yawns between us and still she leaps. It's too far! Her eyes lock onto mine as my hands keep shooting the Collectors. Her body arcs into the long fall, and I drop my gun, falling onto her arm as it hits the shuttles edge. Dragging her in I pull her onto her feet and into my chest, holding her tightly as the hatch closes._

Thane blinked. He had allowed himself just moments for this powerful memory to run its course, but had to shake off the desire to lean against a bulkhead and cry. With a deep breath he focused on the tunnel ahead, brow furrowed, lips pursed in what Siha had once called his 'fighting-face'. He pushed on.

The team found him with his back to a corner in the widening tunnel, where he was able to see back the way he had come, and keep an eye on the large door ahead, a red glow in its centre. They arrived with some stealth, but the collective sound of soft footfalls and cloth moving against itself echoed down the tunnel towards him long before they swept into view.

Thane had time to gently let go of his memories with Siha of the night they returned from the Collector base. They had silently clung to each other before falling into an exhausted sleep. He had coughed violently that night, ending up on his hands and knees in her cabin. It had shamed him. She had simply helped him up and guided him into bed. She kissed him and spoke of her pride in him, her gratitude they were here, together. She gave him so much comfort, and again, took away his shame.

Thane smiled watching the team as they appeared in two's, swiftly dropping their guns in a staggered, seemingly choreographed dance, as each couple saw him. Garrus came last and Thane uttered, "Did you run Kasumi?"

She appeared in front of him with her arms folded, a grin on her face.

When Miranda came towards him she raised a questioning eyebrow, 'Trouble?'

Thane shook his head and to Kasumi he said, "You have a challenge, Ms. Goto," motioning to the door with a tilt of his head. Kasumi simply widened her grin and sashayed over to the lock. At Miranda's pointed look Thane explained, "I wanted to see what the encryptions might tell me. Whatever is back there, it's very heavily guarded."

A look passed among the group, perhaps something concrete at last. Kasumi held up three fingers, so the group could relax a little for the next few minutes while she worked.

"Miranda, team, do you copy?" came Sarah Williams voice from the shuttle.

"Copy." Miranda spoke only loud enough to activate the comm.

"I've found one dedicated docking port but its empty, and negative on any vessels docked anywhere. I'm about to make a second sweep."

Thane's heart sank. If the Illusive Man had once been here, he must have left by now. Perhaps he didn't return to the Collector ship, after all. He and Siha could be anywhere.

"Hey," Jack hissed, looking at her omni-tool, "Why are we still wearing these damn breathers?" She held up her omni-tool to show the breathable atmosphere around them, before whipping off her transparent breather muttering, "I hate those things on my face!"

"I didn't even think of it," Liara said, following suit.

"Too focused on mission," Mordin cited.

For the first time Thane saw a Collector ship without his mask discolouring the bulkheads, and he was mildly disappointed to see his surroundings become even more bland. Tucking the mask away inside his coat, he watched as Garrus strolled towards him.

"How are you holding up, Thane?"

"Holding up. An apt turn of phrase. I do feel as if I'm holding myself up. Like the force of Gravity were pulling down on me." Thane looked at Garrus, who he had quickly come to respect as a soldier and eventually a friend, now a good friend and confidant. A gift Thane had accepted he would never have in his life before he even reached adulthood. Until Irika. After her death, friendships no longer mattered. Until he met another Siha. "It shames me to admit, but I have returned to my battle-sleep, in anticipation of," he sighed, "the worst. None the less, hope forces me onwards. And you my friend, how are you, holding up?"

"Well, as we're being honest," Garrus kept an eye on Kasumi's progress, "this is all starting to feel a little scary. I do hope Miranda's comment about the bomb wasn't some kind of premonition or something."

Without turning towards the two men Miranda hissed over her shoulder, "Let's just push on with an open mind, eh?" Clearly the tension was getting to her as much as the rest of the team. She was stood too far away for an ordinary human to hear their hushed conversation, and her reply made Garrus scowl, though he nodded in agreement at the same time.

While they waited the team tried not to fidget, tried to ignore the exhaustion of walking the length of this vast ship for so many hours, and tried not to speculate too much over what may lie ahead. They hoped to leave with some clues to help find the Illusive Man and Shepard, but feared they might leave carrying the weight of the dead with them. If not physically, then perhaps emotionally, at least.

Thane's emotions boiled deeply inside of him as he considered all of this, and he worried he might collapse under the weight of his fears. This is what happened when he found Irika's body. A large part of his soul had shut down, unable to deal with the grief, so that his body could keep going. This time there was the constant torture of hope entwined with the pain of not knowing. Only his training and the unquestionable need to not let his team down held him together at this point. Retreating back into a battle-sleep shamed him greatly, but he would atone for this later. Right now he was the assassin again, and he had a job to finish.

Kasumi stood, triumph written on her face as she looked at each member of the team. They readied themselves as before, and she nodded, punching the door control and cloaking before it fully opened.

The smell hit them first. Powerful, but familiar enough by now to stop the team from recoiling. At least it gave them some knowledge of what lie ahead.

Death. Thane simply pushed this sensory information aside, focusing instead on the gloom ahead. He wondered if Kasumi, who was the least experienced in facing this type of scenario, was covering her cloaked face with an invisible hand. He hoped desperately Siha was not among the corpses inside this room.

Faced with workstations ahead, the team moved in two at a time, forward a few paces, then a swift turn to the left. First Miranda, easily able to trust Kasumi was close by. Zaeed and Jack followed, then Mordin and Liara and finally the two snipers.

It was a long room, lined with dead terminals and culminating with a breathtaking view of Earth in a space scape which dominated the curved bulkhead at the far end. This was the chamber's only source of light and barely penetrated the dark shadows hanging all around them. No one used their omni-light yet, not until they could be sure it wouldn't simply provide the enemy a convenient beacon to shoot at.

_The flaming hair and blazing armour of this warrior-angel is a beacon for the weapons fire, but she moves too swiftly and the enemy falls at her feet._

The utterly unexpected view caught them all by surprise, but it was fleeting as they each blinked away to focus back into the room and its many dark corners. Slowly they moved forward.

Some chairs had been pushed together here and there, as if waiting to be collected. Soon they came across the dead, piled together in small numbers, similar to what some of the team had already seen on other Collector vessels. Thane wondered in horror, if there might be another Reaper under construction somewhere on this ship. Perhaps another human Reaper like the one they had destroyed so long ago. The corpses were only days old and all wore Cerberus uniforms. One or two lay alone and wore Cerberus armour, some with their weapons still beside them. None of them looked entirely human anymore. Thane had to force himself to look at these semi-husks, terrified he would see his Siha among them, perhaps even one of them. He followed a trail of blood, which ended quickly with the expected body and he wondered if this once human being had been dragged then abandoned, or if he had crawled until his life finally gave out. Interestingly, few had visible wounds and it was difficult to tell how most of them had died. Thane spoke a whispered prayer to Kalahira for them all, victims as much as they would have been enemies.

The room opened up into a cathedral like area, dominated by nothing but a slightly raised, circular platform, ringed by more bodies piled together. Some of these piles had just two or three corpses, other's had ten or maybe more piled on top of each other.

Thane recalled some images he had seen in one of Kasumi's books. He couldn't read the human language but Kasumi had told him it was a historical book about the last world war on Earth. There had been pictures of Concentration Camps taken by the war's victors who had found and liberated these gruesome death camps. The images were even more sickening than the few he had seen of Rakhana, the dying drell home world of his ancestors.

The team spread out silently as Miranda paused at the platform's edge, turning her head slowly from left, where the meagre light settled on the bodies, to right, where impenetrable shadows masked half the room. They all saw the solitary corpse laying on the platform with its back to them, clearly not Cerberus, assessed Thane, no uniform. Miranda stepped onto the platform, almost following the diffused line where shadow merged with light, as she walked slowly toward the body. Its head and torso were in shadow, its black shoes shining dimly in the light. Thane's heart quickened as he realised who it might be and he hurried to catch up with Miranda. She stared down at the corpse, a mixture of revulsion and pity playing on her features.

With the team covering the chamber she snapped her gun back into its holster before announcing, "It's the Illusive Man. He's dead and," planting a foot against his shoulder she pushed him onto his back, "yep, I'd say he was indoctrinated all right."

Despite the gloom it was clear to see the Illusive Man's unnatural eyes, almost quarian in nature, were now blackened stones. Black lines scorched from his eyes into his hairline and across his face, disappearing beyond the collar of his shirt.

"Creepy," said Kasumi's disembodied voice from somewhere between Miranda and Thane.

Putting a hand on her hip, Miranda said, "If he hadn't died when he did I suspect he would be just another husk by now.

"Good riddance!" Jack spat.

Thane's hands gripped his rifle tightly and he had to force his voice to stay calm. "Miranda..."

"I know," she held his gaze a few moments before looking around the room at the quietly animated team. A tight lipped nod and she said, "I'll contact Admiral Hackett to let him know what we've got so far, and we'll get this room, cleared," she meant 'we'll search for Shepard's corpse', "then we'll make our way to whatever's down those stairs."

Thane's gun shook in his hands and he quickly holstered it. It didn't stop his hands shaking, but with his fists tightly balled at his side it was less obvious. He turned away from the dead man.

_Oh Gods, the bodies! _

He imagined their search, looking for the familiar armour, the red hair, turning over corpses to look into the dead faces, over and over again until... We're too late! He thought. We're too late! It ran around his head like Shepard's space hamster on its wheel. His knees wanted to give way, but he made himself walk towards the lighter side of the platform, looking at the bodies for something he did not want to find.

Not again.

Thane slowly walked around the perimeter with a desperate hope of seeing the tiniest of movements. He moved into the gloom, wanting to keep his distance from the gruesome piles of corpses. The dead didn't bother him. He had spent most of his life being an angel of death to many, but an odd kind of revulsion had settled upon him. Thane stopped walking and turned in a slow half-circle, scanning the deep shadows across the other side of the platform.

She could hear the sea. It was exhilarating, wonderful!

Somewhere far away the ocean's spray whispered against rock. Much closer, she could hear gentle waves lapping against the sand.

_Am I here? Did I make it? Is Thane here? Did he wait for me? _

It was cold, so cold.

She opened her eyes to see if perhaps the sun was hidden behind dark clouds, or maybe the moon was out and that would explain the uncomfortable temperature. Her happiness instantly left her.

Shadow people!

She couldn't find the sea, was unable make out a shoreline and didn't even see the black trees of this familiar nightmare. Just the smoky shadows, floating in front of her and whispering words she couldn't comprehend.

_Where's the little boy?_

She didn't want to see him, didn't want to find him only to watch him burn yet again. Yet she looked for him automatically. She tried to get up, but couldn't move at all. The total paralysis should have scared her, but this time she would have simply shrugged her shoulders, if she could. Maybe the Illusive Man would return to give her another lecture? She didn't care anymore. She could hear the sea.

_'You must choose,'_ the boy told her as the shadow people came together in one dark smoky form, before dancing away again. She tried to look for the ocean beyond them, but everything was annoyingly fuzzy, as if she were looking through water.

_'You must choose.'_

_Hah, funny, I kind'a think it's all a bit late for that, pal._

One of the shadow people began to glow and she winced, not wanting to see the flames again. Instead the orange light just hovered, lighting up a face that looked familiar, but was too blurred to make out properly.

_Ok, that's new._

_'You must choose!'_

_'Don't listen to him, he's indoctrinated.'_

_Anderson?_

_'Wake up!'_

_No dammit. I won't. Not this time!_

But her mind began to struggle against the chains paralysing her body and gagging her thoughts.

_'Wake up!'_

_I_ am_ awake, damn it!_

Somehow she felt a sluggish rush of adrenalin. Enough to focus her confused concentration and break her body's paralysis. It hardly made a difference, only her eyeballs moved as if in slush, and her blurred vision tunnelled slightly. But she saw the face beyond the orange glow.

_Miranda?_

Either she was still asleep and dreaming after all, or Miranda was dead too. Or... had they finally come for her? It was strangely comforting, even though it didn't matter. They were too late. Her energy spent she stopped trying to struggle against the chains. There was no rush; they had all the time in the world to find her body.

Miranda's softly accented words weren't clear, the sound muffled as if she was listening through the after effects of a loud explosion, or through water. She looked at the other shadow people wondering if any of them were real, too. For a moment she thought she heard Jack, and wondered if the Normandy's barely housetrained team member had lived. She would have smiled if she'd had the energy.

Another shadow person moved, fading out for a moment before reverting back to its shapeless form as it moved closer. She would have carried on looking around the room but there was something familiar and oddly comforting about his outline, his form and posture.

_His?_

Her skin crawled with goose bumps. The air seemed to grow even colder. Her heart tried to speed up its sluggish beat.

_No! No it can't be! Thane?_

_'You must choose.'_

_Oh,_ hell,_ no! You have got to be _kidding_ me!_

There he stood in the gloom, his back mostly to her, turning slowly. He seemed to be searching for something. No longer the weak dying man struggling to breathe in a hospital bed, but the strong drell she had first met in Dantius Towers. He was still wearing those leathers she had come to find so alluring. Even his rifle was at his back which she found kind'a funny. Maybe she should find her gun and make sure to take it with her across the sea?

_'You must choose.'_

Her delight turned to horror. Was this just another Reaper trick? It seems her friends had come for her after all, but so had Thane!

_'You must choose.'_

And there was that damn brat's voice! Or his avatars voice at any rate. She wouldn't look for him again though, now she was too focused on Thane. Terrified he would vanish as she woke up, or would morph into a husk, or the Illusive Man! But then, Thane knew how hard she would fight to live. Understood her secret fear of dying, and returning to that absence of everything she had been rescued from by Project Lazarus.

If Thane had feared his own death in those last few weeks he didn't show it, only a deep regret at having to leave her. He had promised to wait for her across the sea and instead, had found a way to seek her out and lead her across himself. Better to let her know it was ok to let go now, rather than risk her living in limbo, sustained by hospital machines just because of some false fear death was an empty void.

Oh, the irony! Here was Miranda, others, too, and they would find her. Did it matter? Would it make a difference? She was dying anyway. Could she say goodbye to them before leaving with Thane? Or might she last long enough for them to put her in machine limbo? What if Thane couldn't find her again?

_'You must choose.'_

Yeah, typical, in life such as in death. Why the hell couldn't she, just for once, sit back and let fate take its course? Oh no, always with the choices. Always having to make the big decisions. Even now, right at the damn end! She wasn't scared anymore. A warm peace settled upon her as she pinned her one good eye on Thane, whose gaze was slowly drawing ever closer.

_It couldn't be a Reaper trick. Could it?_

Though he stood in gloomy shadow, she could see him clearly now. So focused was she on the man she had so easily fallen for, and still loved with a deep intensity she had never experienced before. He was devastatingly beautiful, this contained and mysterious drell who moved like a dancer both on, and off the battlefield. Many times he had taken her breath away, not least when they were facing the enemy. She had watched him fight, sometimes so mesmerised her shields had taken weapons fire she would usually have so easily avoided, if she hadn't lost her focus. This trained killer, whose hands had snapped more necks than probably anyone else alive in the galaxy today, was an incredibly kind, compassionate, gentle man, who seemed to love her the same way he killed his enemies, completely and thoroughly.

_Well, he never did take prisoners._

He had taken her heart with him to the sea. She kept going after his death only because of the damn war.

She watched him intently, waiting for him to come and take her hand. Even after her vision blurred again, the dark tunnel returning to close in around her.

There was one moment of fear when she felt her heart beat slowing down, but then it really was time to accept her fate.

She let go.

Switching on his omni-light Garrus joined Thane, slowly sweeping away the deep shadows between the bodies and over the subtly changed faces of the human corpses. Thane could hear Miranda's voice as she spoke to Hackett by vid-comm, but couldn't make out her words, drowned out as they were by the blood rush in his ears. A rapid whoosh thrummed along with the rhythm of his frightened heart.

The team spread out, some moving back towards the door, omni-lights focused on more dead faces. No one touched anything yet. Perhaps none of them wanted to be the one to recover their ex-Commander from amongst the dead, to have to announce that devastating find. At the same time they were all eager to get this room searched and hustle down to the rooms that might be below.

Thane stopped turning when something caught the corner of his eye. Just a small shadowy hump in the gloom on the floor. Only a chunk of debris, but he left Garrus' side, his feet seemingly guiding him by their own volition deeper into the shadows of the platform. Something broken. A piece of a chair, perhaps? Its padding still attached. A quick review of his memory and Thane was sure he hadn't seen a damaged chair. Crouching down to examine the palm size piece, he reached out to curl his fingers around it. Picking it up, his eyes fell onto the feet of a body a couple of metres away, hidden in the gloom. He saw the shape of the armour as his eyes crawled up the body's legs. A hand, palm up, on the floor. His eyes trailed up the arm, across the shoulders. Half the breast plate was missing and a perfect vision of Legion invaded Thane's thoughts.

_'Shepard Commander.'_

The geth's damaged platform had been patched up by N7 armour once belonging to Shepard, which Legion had found during his search for her.

Thane knew what he held in his hand. What his fingers now squeezed around so tightly, its hard edges sliced into his flesh, drawing blood. Dragging his eyes away from the hole in that breastplate, he forced himself to look up onto the body's face.

_Oh, Siha. Oh God's, no, not again._

She seemed to be staring straight at him, but there was no reaction on her dead face. She wasn't changed like the others, but her face was torn and blooded in dark crusts across her chin and forehead. One side was so swollen and bruised that one eye was a barely open, the other nothing but a glassy stare. One of her arms was covered with dried blood from a wound he couldn't see. The blood had smeared her armour across her torso, and spilled onto her thighs. It would have once been as red as her protective gear, but was now blackened and dry.

Had it been quick? Thane didn't think so. There was an empty water pouch beside her, a few small drag marks and bloody smears on the floor. She had propped herself against the bulkhead to await rescue and they had failed her. As Thane had feared, they were too late.

Her face made him think of Irika, when he found her beaten to death. But his mind was so numb with shock even that memory didn't come. All he could do was stare into the dead eyes of his warrior-angel and wonder, why? Why save him and take her? She had lived such a worthy life, whereas he had failed everyone.

Thane was vaguely aware of Miranda ending her conversation with the Admiral, Garrus approaching with some of the others. They were probably wondering why he remained sagged on the floor instead of getting up. He simply couldn't. He wasn't sure how he was still able to breathe. He needed to tell the team, couldn't allow them to discover their Commander was dead, in the same shocking way he had. But all he could do was stare at her.

He had deeply loved two women in his life, and he had found both of them dead, their bodies broken, their demise slow and insufferable.

Thane's universe came to an end.

He would live on. For Kolyat's sake, his body would continue to function. But his soul was dead now. Silently, he wept. Tears blurred his vision. Quickly he blinked them away so he could see his Siha's face. Even in death she was beautiful.

"Kalahira," he whispered his prayer, "guide this one to where the traveller never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve. Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you as she was to me." It was the same prayer she and Kolyat had read for him on his deathbed.

"Thane?" Someone's voice, he didn't know who, barely hearing it, barely able to focus on anything but the fact his Siha was dead.

"Entropy wins," he whispered, "entropy always wins." With a monumental effort he raised his voice to just above a whisper and told those who could hear, "She is dead."

Then she blinked.

All hell broke loose. Garrus leapt upon her in two long strides, his omni-tool glowing before he fell at her side. Miranda was telling the shuttle pilot to find a drop point as near to their position as possible, and meet them with a breather for Shepard if necessary. A tearful Liara muttered something about looking for Shepard's helmet. Omni-lights swirled around wildly as the team rushed together, triumphant noise and worried questions. A cacophony of sound. The sudden burst shocking after so many hours spent in whispered stealth. Miranda flew past Thane to join Garrus, scanning Shepard while he pumped Medi-gel into her system, the two chattering rapidly over her.

It all happened around Thane. He remained frozen to the spot, looking into her eyes. Eyes that could see him! His mind whirled out of control. The only thoughts he could understand were, she was _right there_, they had found her, and she was _alive!_

Her eye began to close. A sudden terror he might still lose her gripped him. Breaking his fugue, he surged forward. The sudden movement caused her one good eye to snap open and Thane almost laughed. He got as close as he could, kneeling by her legs, making sure to give Miranda and Garrus room to work.

"Siha?" Thane's voice was much stronger and calmer than he thought possible. He huffed out a desperately relieved sigh when she blinked again. Thane slowly put his hand gently over hers, and saw her fingers twitch almost imperceptibly. It was all she could manage but it filled him with joy.

_Thane! Well it's about time!_

She smiled, or thought she did anyway. She had a vague awareness of a storm surrounding her and another odd sensation, like the effects of Medi-gel shoring up her system. Clarity began to pierce the fog of her thoughts and her eyesight cleared just enough to see him better. Her heart quickened its laborious beat.

She became more aware of others around her and realised what was happening. She wanted to make them stop but didn't have the strength.

_Hell no guys. Please don't. It's a damn waste of time anyway but even if it wasn't, I've made my choice. I'm done here._

She saw more than heard him say, "Siha," as his lips moved. She couldn't feel his hand in hers, but knew it was there and curled her fingers around his as tightly as possible, delighted at his warm smile. He understood her choice.

"Hold on Siha."

She heard that! Concentrating on nothing but his face she watched his lips move, trying to catch every word, hear his voice again after so very long, amidst all the other noises thundering around her, yet seemingly from far away.

"We've got you Siha."

_We?_

"The war is over, we won."

_You're kidding me! We did? Yes!_

She tried to unglue her tongue from the roof of her mouth, open her dry lips, hell it was hard, but she was impatient to know. Thane brought his face close to hers. Vaguely wondering if she smelled as bad as the corpses probably did, she drew in a shallow breath, amazed it didn't hurt so much now, then pushed it out to help her form a sound.

"Reap..."

"Reapers?"

_Yes! _

"Dead, Siha," he smiled. "They are all destroyed."

She breathed in, "I was just..." another breath, "about to come..." another slow breath, _hell I sound like the Volus! _"See you."

She smiled at her little joke as Thane looked at her in confusion.

_Ok, not quite the laugh I was going for._

She gasped another slow pull into her damaged lungs and as clearly as her swollen tongue would allow, explained, "To the sea!"

Thane was horrified. "No, Siha!" He tried not to snap.

_Gods, no!_

The corners of her mouth seemed to be trying to curl up in a smile, her eyelid drooping.

"Siha, listen," his tone was gentle but firm. He clenched his jaw, searching for the words to explain quickly. She _must_ understand. "I did not die, I lived. Just as you must. Fight, Siha. Fight to stay alive. Keep fighting to stay here with us, all of us. Do not cross the sea, Siha, do you understand? Stay with us, Gods, please!" Thane whispered the last, his ability to control his emotions failing as he wept.

"Ok, Medi-gel is working," Garrus warned, "won't be long now."

"Get ready to move out!" Miranda snapped.

She could still hear his voice but her ability to comprehend was going. It didn't matter; just hearing his rumble was enough. To see his face, touch him, it was all that mattered now. Then Miranda's face got in the way, her lips moving but her voice sounded as if she was talking through thick glass. Or water. The sea!

_Get out of the damn way, Miranda._

There were hands upon her, under her arms, at her back, moving her limbs, pushing, hurting.

_Thane?_

_'You must choose.'_

_Oh hell, kid you are_ seriously _pissing me off. I chose already, damn it! Thane?_

She squeezed her fingers around his hand in a vice like grip.

_Sorry guys, sorry Miranda not this time. I've made my choice. I choose to go with Thane. Now let me across the damn sea!_

She felt so weary, yet determined not to be torn apart from him again. She held on tightly to his hand, until she realised hers was empty, as if Thane had no substance. She tried to drag her eyes around the room to find him, but could no longer open them. She tried to fight, but her body wasn't hers anymore, it was under the control of others, just as it had been after she had been spat out of the conduit and into a nightmare.

Her last horrified thought was, the Reapers have won.

"She's out," announced Garrus with a nod, satisfied Shepard's awkward journey to the shuttle would be painless and the Medi-gel would protect her body from further damage, as they moved her without proper equipment. While he and Miranda gently pulled Shepard to her feet, Zaeed wordlessly stepped forward. Un-holstering the two weapons on his back with each hand he offered them to his closest neighbours. Jack and Mordin took one each without comment. Quickly unclipping his body armour, Zaeed ducked out of it and let it fall in a heavy thump, stating, "I'll miss that armour if I don't bloody get it back." Stepping up to Shepard's unconscious form he told her, "So you, lady, will be bloody well buying me a decent replacement when your better." Bending at the knees he allowed Miranda and Garrus to gently guide her body over his shoulder, and hoisted her up. Gently shrugging his shoulder to balance her weight better he told the team, "There's bugger all weight to her. Surprising really considering she packs one hell of a punch. Knocked me on my ass anyway!"

"Ok back we go!" Miranda snapped, already leading them out of the chamber. "All being well by the time we get back to the stairs Sarah will have found a drop point."

Thane had vaguely observed all this from his position on the floor, only noticing Kasumi as she went dark to take point. Miranda followed with Zaeed in her wake matching her quick steps, as eager to get his precious cargo to safety as the rest of the team. With Zaeed's assault rifle slung across his back Mordin followed closely with Liara, omni-tools open to constantly monitor Shepard's vitals. Finally Jack fell in, Zaeed's sniper rifle in one hand, watching their backs while they watched Shepard's.

Thane vaguely saw them go, still numb with horror by Siha's words to him, his mind seemingly cut off from his body. Suddenly Garrus' talons were on him. One hand gripped under his arm, the other grabbed a fistful of leather over Thane's shoulder. Garrus virtually lifted Thane up onto his feet and propelled him forward in one swift grunt.

"Move!" Garrus barked.

Thane's feet did as they were told while Garrus' marched him on.

It was only later, when Thane reviewed his memories, he realised Garrus didn't let go of his arm the whole way back.

Thane was only vaguely aware no one was using their breathers as he was propelled into the shuttle and pushed down onto a seat.

"What's wrong with Thane?" Liara asked.

Garrus let go of him, "Shock."

"Get her stable and as secure as you can," ordered Zaeed from the pilots seat, "then everyone strap down. It'll be bloody choppy but I'll get us back in half the time."

Williams helped to secure Shepard's head and shoulders to the stretcher she had already laid out and tied down before preparing all the other medical equipment. Garrus and Liara secured Shepard's legs, while Miranda immobilised her torso. Between them she was quickly strapped to the deck of the shuttle. Garrus checked Shepard's head and neck, offering a quick nod to the pilot, who turned to buckle herself into the co-pilots seat. Miranda was informing Hackett of the situation. Thane automatically strapped himself in.

After sweeping everyone with her eyes Miranda told their new pilot, "Were good to go, Zaeed, steady as you can."

The ex-merc had already lifted the shuttle off the pad and pointed it at the small hanger doors as they opened. At Miranda's word the shuttle shot out of the converted Collector ship as if the ghosts of the Collectors themselves were snapping at their heels.

If the flight back to the Citadel had been hellish, when all they could do was monitor Shepard's vitals, and keep their fingers crossed, while the shuttle rocked and dived through the graveyard. Then the much shorter journey from the shuttle bay to Huerta was a special kind of purgatory. Despite calling ahead Zaeed couldn't get quick enough clearance to land in an emergency vehicle bay and was told the medics were already on their way to meet them at the port they had departed from. With no time to argue Zaeed simply told them to inform traffic control to keep the public bays clear as he was coming in hot.

Having snapped out of his shock, enough at least to move without Garrus at his back, Thane leapt out of the shuttle next to the stretcher, his hand wrapped tightly around his Siha's.

The friendly face of Doctor Michel and a team of medics awaited them. True to his word, Zaeed had flown them back quickly, without too many sticky moments, so Commander Bailey's already overstretched C-Sec officers weren't quite ready for them. As such it took just seconds for someone among the throng of people to recognise, and point out, the woman on the stretcher. As the rest of the team jumped out of the shuttle to follow Miranda, Garrus and Thane, a reporter stepped in the way.

"I'm Khalisah al-Jilani of the Westerlund News. Is that Commander Shepard on the stretcher?"

Jack scowled up at the reporter yelling, "Get out of my way bitch!" She shoved the human aside hard without breaking stride.

After a few flailing steps backwards the reporter regained her balance and marched up to Liara as if nothing had happened. "Can you tell me if Shepard is alive?"

Fixing the human with a murderous glare the asari bellowed, "Get out of our way before I flail you with my mind!" Liara then delivered an uppercut so fierce it lifted Khalisah off her feet and sent her flying into the crowd, which quickly parted as they watched the reporter land heavily on her ass. Most of the team threw Liara a smile as they ran towards the waiting lift.

It was big enough to accommodate Miranda and Garrus who carried Shepard, as well as Thane and the medical techs, the rest of the team had to wait for the next car. So they could only watch in horror when Doctor Michel announced, "She's crashing!"

Thane was swept aside as the medics burst into life around Shepard. All he could do was look at Kasumi, Liara, Jack, Zaeed and Mordin as the door closed on their sickened expressions. He sent them the strength so that they may endure the next few minutes waiting in the shuttle bay, with hope in their hearts. Then he slumped against the side of the car as her armour was discarded, her uniform ripped open. Her torn vest revealed a deep ragged hole in her side, dried blood smeared over vast bruising, covering her torso in many colours. Blue, black, red, green, brown, purple, yellow, it could have been beautiful if the canvas wasn't stretched skin over clearly broken ribs. There were deep abrasions on her arms, a livid burn splashed across one shoulder, curling around her back out of sight, how far Thane didn't know.

She terrified him. More than the Collectors or the Human Reaper ever had. More than when the Reapers themselves had invaded the planet she had been imprisoned on. He wanted to hold her, beg her to live, ask her forgiveness for not being by her side sooner when she needed him the most, and for still being this side of the sea without her knowledge. He wanted to ask her to please keep fighting, just a little bit longer, one more battle to win and... Gods, please, don't let her go to the sea!

He watched the medics work, holding his breath, without shame for the tears spilling silently out of him. It went on forever and took just seconds before someone said, "She's back!"

Thane went limp with gratitude for only a few blissful moments before her heart stopped again. Squeezed against the opposite wall, Miranda and Garrus leaned against each other, staring down at Shepard in horror as the medics did everything they could to bring her back again.

Unable to watch any longer, Thane turned away, his cheek resting against the wall. He could barely hold himself upright. Something unstuck itself from his hand and fell to the floor. Blinking away his tears, Thane looked down. He hadn't even realised he was still clutching that piece of armour, until he let it go.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six.**

_Farewell My Love... Again._

Thane had been surprised to see the amount of people who attended this memorial service. He had assumed this quiet, private service, for those who had served on the Normandy, would be small in number, but there were many people here: Quarians with a handful of geth, the asari and krogan contingents, plus many humans along with all the Alliance Brass, and the Citadel council. They were here to remember, not just those who had died, but those still missing nearly three months after the war. Most of the team sat right at the front. Jack scowled her way through the ceremony, Liara rung her hands, Miranda's face remained impassive. Mordin's head bobbed up and down almost constantly, in agreement of the nice things said about those absent. Zaeed huffed occasionally, Kasumi hugged her feet, Bailey fidgeted and Kolyat sat quietly next to Jacob, Brynn and little Shep.

Garrus and Thane stood at the back of the crowd gathered in the gardens, until they had eventually retreated even further away, to sit on a bench. The view was vastly different from the last time the two men had shared this space. The tent and ruins were now cleared away, the waterfalls were working again and a new statue had been erected. Thane had missed the dedication ceremony which had taken place recently. It was a bronze human, standing in a relaxed pose, gazing up at the planet above as if guarding against a threat to the Citadel. The statue wore N7 armour and only the eyes could be seen under its helmet. In the short weeks since its unveiling, it had caused much speculation. This particular statue was meant to be a nameless hero, to represent every Alliance soldier who had fallen in the war. But those eyes were distinctly female, and to those who knew her best, had a striking resemblance to Commander Shepard. With Hackett staying button-lipped, the speculation was spreading across the Citadel.

"Are you ok?" Thane asked Garrus who wiped the back of his hand across one eye.

"Yeah, just got some crap in my eye." Garrus sighed, muttering, "I hate this sort of thing. I thought the Hierarchy was bad with this ceremonial stuff, but between the humans and the quarians..." he tailed off throwing his hands up, "At least the Krogan delegate just said some stuff about how Grunt died in glorious battle, or some such, then got off the stage. I already heard everything Admiral Shala'Raan said when I went to Tali's service. I'm no good at this collective mourning crap to be honest."

Thane nodded in agreement and wished he could find some words that might comfort his friend, but was at a loss. He had found this memorial more emotional than expected as well.

"It was nice to see Kolyat came," Garrus added.

"Yes. I should have sat with him but..." Thane trailed off in a shrug. Garrus nodded his understanding. Both men preferred to keep a low profile. They looked at the statue for a while, as Hackett took to the stage again, his amplified voice floating towards them.

Eventually Garrus said, "Look, I can't hang around here anymore. Think I'll take a skycar up to the presidium, and shoot some bottles or something. Maybe I'll come see you later?"

Thane nodded, "I'll probably be in the usual place."

Garrus stood, looking at his friend for a moment, and with a small smile asked, "How are you holding up, Thane? Any, er, gravity problems?"

Thane couldn't help chuckling and answered honestly, "I think perhaps my body has become accustomed to the weight. I'll be fine, thank you, my friend."

With a nod Garrus turned, offering a small wave as he walked away. "Oh, Garrus?" Garrus turned back to Thane who said, "Try not to miss."

"Oh please! This is my favourite pastime on the Citadel, and I never miss!"

Thane watched Garrus saunter away, while Hackett spoke about some of the heroic acts the Normandy SR1 and SR2 crews had performed over the years. Some of which Thane had witnessed and taken part in. The others he had already heard about, mostly from Garrus. The tales sounded strange told in the Admiral's brief, dry renditions. Suddenly Thane appreciated Zaeed's style of storytelling, and despite the circumstances, he couldn't help smiling.

He looked at the statue, its smiling eyes looking up as if upon a beautiful sky, so much like the way his Siha had on those rare occasions they had set down on a planet swathed in sunlight. He reached for the memory of her sitting by a waterfall, but instead something else pushed at the forefront of his mind. A memory he had been pushing away for the last few weeks, unwilling to explore past goodbyes. In the weeks since he had returned from the emotional journey of their mission on the Collector ship, Thane struggled to sleep, and with fatigue wearing him down, on top of the unexpected strength of the emotions he had experienced today, he no longer had the will to fight it anymore. He let the memory come.

There was no humour in Jokers voice when he told them, "Ok, Commander, we're three minutes away from entering Earth's orbit. You sure you wanna do this?"

Shepard took Thane's hand and fought a hard battle with her emotions. "No, I'm not," she stated, her voice even, despite the tears spilling down her cheeks.

Thane desperately wanted to tell Joker to get them out of the Sol System as quickly as possible, but that would be selfish. He knew she would stay with him, until the end. But Admiral Hackett had told her, after her mission to rescue the indoctrinated operative, which resulted in the deaths of three hundred thousand batarian's, when Earth calls, she had to be ready in full dress blues to take the hit. After their mission on the Collector base they had barely two weeks before Earth finally called.

"Fuck them! I don't care anymore!" Shepard had said when she received the message, thumping her desk.

"But you must!" Thane insisted. "Siha, I have nothing to leave you but my heart."

She had collapsed into him then, as she did now, and they held each other tightly, not wanting to let go. Thane knew, for her sake, he must, even if it

meant he would never see her again.

Joker had been discreetly ignoring them as he flew the Normandy slowly towards Earth, in what may be his last ever flight as a pilot. "One minute, Commander."

"No more tears, Siha." Thane said, unable to practice what he preached.

After a moment she lifted her head away from his chest to sigh in grief and anger, "Take us in, Joker," she whispered.

"I feel sick!" Jack muttered. Be this from wondering what the Alliance might do with her, or from being sick of all the goodbyes over the last few days, Thane didn't know. Apart from the four of them, only Doctor Chakwas, Kelly, Kasumi, Gabby and Ken, were left aboard. The Normandy was a ghost ship.

Shepard had spent their last days together making sure the crew got to where they wanted to go, feeling it was the least she could do for them. Some wanted to leave Cerberus, and she dropped them all off wherever they wanted. Miranda and Jacob were the first to leave, with Gardener and a handful of crew, at a Cerberus facility, each shaking Shepard's hand as they filed out of the airlock.

"Gonna miss your cooking, Gardener," she smirked.

"It's been a real pleasure, Commander. Hopefully my next posting will be just as good." As he strolled out the airlock he huffed, "Well, back to work."

"It's been a pleasure, and an honour, Shepard," Jacob told her, cheerfully accepting her hug.

"They're both right," agreed Miranda, smiling warmly, yet sadly at the same time.

"Same to you, Miranda. Thanks for putting me back together."

Miranda tipped her head, "My pleasure. I hope to see you again."

"You, too. Let me know how your sister's doing and have fun telling the Illusive Man where to stick his job!" This elicited grins from both Jacob and Miranda.

On Tuchanka, Grunt left with a quick, "Battlemaster, being my krantt has given me honour among all Krogan!"

Shepard wasn't so sure this was true, but accepted Grunt's compliment with a smile. After giving her a heavy slap on the shoulder, he wandered over to watch a varren fight in the pit.

Urz, a docile varren who Shepard had adopted, or perhaps it was the other way around after she fed him on her first trip to Tuchanka, came padding over, as he always did. He often followed Shepard around. She crouched down to give his neck a stroke, and as Thane followed Garrus towards the exit, he heard her tell the varren, "I might not be able to come back and see you again Urz, so look after yourself, y'hear? Stay away from that damn pit!"

It broke Thane's heart. Not because he knew how much she hated those pit fights the krogan entertained themselves with, but because she was saying a final goodbye. Just another among many, but this one was spoken with more honesty than the team's optimism that her forthcoming trial would permit her to be with them.

Zaeed and Mordin returned to Omega.

"Thanks, Mordin," was all Shepard could manage as she shook the professor's hand, both of his wrapped around hers.

"Enjoyed working with you very much. Proud to have been here Shepard."

"Say hi to Daniel for me," she told him, remembering Mordin's assistant who she had rescued. Mordin intended to spend a few days in his old clinic, before contacting some old friends.

"Yes indeed, will be good to see him." At that he left, humming a patter song.

"Well, kid," Zaeed pulled her into a quick one-armed hug, "Good luck to you. If you can look me up, make sure you do, eh?"

"You can count on it," she smiled. "So, I'm forgiven then?" Shepard was only half joking.

"Yeah. Bloody hell, maybe you've turned me soft Shepard, but you were right, and you've put a few things into perspective." From beside Thane, Garrus nodded, as Zaeed continued, "If I run across Vido again I'll gut the bastard, but I aint gonna go looking for him no more, it's in the past. You take care, Shepard."

Samara nodded her approval at Zaeed's new attitude. She had decided to go to Omega, also, feeling the people on this station needed a guardian. "By the code, I have served you, Shepard. May you continue in your honourable duties, as I will in mine. I hope we meet again." The Justicar bowed slightly in a sign of respect, and regally walked away.

Tali said a tearful farewell as she rejoined the migrant fleet. Although, when Kal'Reegar promised to look after his fellow quarian, Tali still managed an acerbic, "Huh, more like the other way around." In thick voices they promised to see each other again.

The hardest person to say farewell to, both for Shepard and Thane, was Garrus. Turning to Thane, Garrus sighed, "Well, if I don't see you again...um..."

"It has been gratifying to know you, Garrus," Thane said, rescuing the twitchy turian, "I wish you well."

"And you, friend." Garrus quickly turned to Shepard and said, "Come on, you know I'm no good at this sort of thing." He walked her out of the airlock onto Illium, where he planned to meet up with some contacts before leaving for Palavan. It was an emotive time for Thane as, for him at least, this really was a final goodbye to Garrus, who he had come to consider a friend. Also Illium was where this strange journey had begun for him. Just when he thought everything was at its end, he met a warrior-angel on this planet, and was woken from his battle-sleep.

Planning to have lunch together, Garrus and Shepard left the Normandy as Joker hobbled forward a few steps, shouting, "Hey Garrus, you forgot something!"

Without breaking stride, Garrus called over his shoulder, "If it's my stick, you can keep it!"

The small group gathered in the mess hall, waiting for Shepard to return.

"Fuck, this is just like it was after the Collectors hit us," muttered Jack, not for the first time.

"Shit, don't remind me!" Joker muttered, "I was the one who had to crawl around the goddamn ship, while those things were everywhere! If it wasn't for EDI I'd be sludge by now!"

"You're welcome, Mr. Moreau." EDI's voice floated to them.

A part of Thane wanted to run back to the solitude of Life Support, only he no longer slept there. He and Siha had tried to enjoy their time together while they traversed the galaxy and the Normandy slowly emptied of its personnel. Every moment had been heart-breakingly bitter-sweet, knowing what was likely to be a final goodbye looming over them. In between wonderful moments together, they took turns being the strong one. Having already admitted his new desire to live, Thane tempered this by describing his acceptance towards his impending death. While true, he didn't add how this acceptance had become extremely difficult to hold onto.

When Shepard joined them in the mess hall, her eyes red from crying, she muttered, "Damn this place looks like it did when the Collectors kidnapped the crew!"

"Yeah," Joker drawled, "we did that one already."

She smirked, and put her hands on the table with a sigh, looking around at her remaining crew. "Right, unless someone gives me a reason to go somewhere else, and drop them off, we'll be heading to Earth tomorrow." After a pause

she went around the table. "Jack?"

"Nah, I'm staying." Jack sat back, arms folded.

"You're sure?"

"Yup. Already told you, Shepard, if they lock me up an Alliance brig will be luxury compared to what I've had. I'll take my chances."

Shepard nodded. She had already discussed this at length with each of them. "Doctor Chakwas?"

"Oh, no, Commander. I never worked for Cerberus, I worked for you. If the

Alliance can't accept that, then I'll cheerfully join you in a cell, and say no more about it. My minds made up."

"Ok. Ken?"

"Me and Gabby are staying with the ship for as long as we can Commander." Beside Ken, Gabby nodded vigorously.

"You're both sure?" They were, and she accepted with a small nod. "Joker?"

"Oh c'mon Commander, what Ken said!" Joker scoffed. "I mean, what kind of fugitive would I make? I'd break something every time I had to jump out of a window to go on the run again or something, and I'm not asking the Illusive Man to take me back. That affair is over. Uh, you know what I mean. Anyway, if I can't fly, I may as well get myself some prison stripes. I reckon stripes might make me look taller, so there's a bonus. But what would I know?"

Thane looked down at his hands; there was nothing for him to add. He had little to fear from the authorities. Thanks to Shepard and Bailey, his misdeeds had been purged from the system, and a number of murders he had committed as an assassin, now marked as solved.

"Kasumi? You sure you wouldn't rather be dropped somewhere else?"

"Oh, no, it will be fun to see Earth again, and they'll never even notice me leave the ship," she grinned.

With a small smile, Shepard turned to the last person at the table."Kelly?"

"I'm not going back to Cerberus. As others have said, I'll take my chances on Earth."

With just a few hours left to make permanent memories of his Siha, she and Thane had quickly retired to her cabin, determined to make them good ones.

Now, the time to say goodbye was mere minutes away as Joker contacted Earth Traffic Control. He identified the ship, effectively ending their last chance to turn back.

Kasumi hugged everyone, even Jack, who stood stiffly but didn't complain. Thane was surprised too, but Shepard reciprocated Kasumi's farewell hug, warmly.

"Thanks for a great time, Shep. It's been fun." Kasumi grinned.

"Yeah," Shepard smiled, her eyes watery. "You've been a great source of... knowledge," this made Kasumi laugh, "and a great friend."

"Well, next time I see you I'm sure I'll have lots to tell you, and who knows, I might even pop in on you. I'm sure I can sneak past security!" She winked.

Shepard turned to Joker, bending to give him a hug. "Joker..." she could barely speak.

"I'll see you soon, Commander!" Joker told her, a rare steely look on his face, "You don't get rid of me that easily!"

"Yeah," she nodded, "I kind 'a figured that back at Project Lazarus." She smiled sadly.

Shepard turned back to Thane, and they fell into each other's arms, holding each other tightly for what could be their final time, ever again. He didn't even know if he would be able to send her a message before her expected court martial, which could take months knowing Alliance red tape. He promised to try and he intended to mail her right up until the end.

"We're coming in to land," Joker informed them. Thane and his Siha clung to each other in a silent embrace. Bringing the Normandy into its port, Joker added, "Oh, and it looks like the welcoming committee is rolling out the red carpet, and the handcuffs."

"Be strong, Siha," whispered Thane, kissing her for long moments, barely hearing Joker's sad voice as he sighed, "Right, that's it. I'm shutting her down. She's all yours, EDI."

"Thank you, Mr Moreau. I will look after the Normandy, and I hope the opportunity for us to work together arises again. Good luck everyone."

Joke was too choked up to offer a quip and simply said, "Yeah, you too EDI." Finally, Thane made the monumental effort it took to let Shepard go. Sliding his hands around to hers to take them in his, he promised, "I will wait for you, my Siha," not specifying where, exactly, he would be waiting, be this somewhere in the Galaxy, or somewhere across the sea. Cupping his hands against her face he kissed her one final time and stepped back.

Shepard didn't take her eyes off him as she wiped them and quietly said, "Open the airlock, EDI."

It was to be her last command before she took Thanes hand, kissed his joined fingers, struggling to hide her pain and turned to walk towards the waiting Admiral and Alliance officers.

"Commander?" Joker was getting out of his seat, and Shepard paused as he stood stiffly in front of her. Wordlessly, Joker saluted her.

Shepard returned the salute, trying to smile her thanks to Joker, but barely managing to keep the tears at bay. With a last lingering look at Thane, she finally tore herself away and left the Normandy.

They could only watch as Hackett and Shepard saluted each other, before the Admiral stepped back, and Shepard passively allowed herself to be led away. Thane was able to lock eyes with his Siha's one more time.

Kasumi said, "Going dark, good luck guys," vanishing just before they were boarded. They were all told to gather their belongings, and be ready to be taken in for questioning in ten minutes, Earth standard.

Thane had found Kelly in Shepard's cabin, standing on a stool next to an open panel near the top of the fish tank, scooping up fish with a long handled net and transferring them into a transportable tank. Shepard would have laughed at her Yeoman, even under these circumstances. Thane could barely speak, and simply set about gathering the few things of Shepard's he didn't trust the Alliance to look after properly.

When Kelly left, burdened by the heavy tank she carried, but determined to give Thane a few moments alone, Thane picked up his gun case, a small duffle with his meagre belongings, and the box with Siha's things, pausing to sweep his eyes around the cabin one more time.

Then he had to put everything down, and sank onto the top step, suddenly overwhelmed by the idea he would never see his Siha again. He buried his head in his hands to stifle his sobs so the female Alliance officer waiting outside didn't hear.

"Bloody hell, Thane? You all right, mate?"

Thane didn't realise he had been crying quietly into his hands, until he heard Zaeed's voice and saw him approaching with Miranda and Liara. The ceremony was over, and crowds of people were dispersing in all directions.

"What's happened?" Miranda asked.

"No, nothing," Thane reassured them, quickly. "My apologies, I had not realised I was so lost in memory." He quickly pulled himself together, wiping his eyes and his friends relaxed. Liara smiled, and Miranda gently repeated Zaeed's question. "Yes, I am fine, thank you." He smiled easily, pushing the rest of his memory away. It had only been a few hours of questioning, before he was released to quickly secure passage to the Citadel and Kolyat, who was preparing to return home for a while.

"We're off for a drink, gonna meet some of the others," Zaeed informed him, "you comin'?"

"Perhaps later," Thane said.

Miranda nodded, pausing to look at the statue before saying, "If I don't see you later I'll see you at the hospital tomorrow."

Thane nodded. Liara said, "I'll catch up with you," watching Zaeed and Miranda leave. She turned to Thane, "Can I join you? Unless you would rather be alone..?"

Thane held up his hand and cut her off, "I'd like your company Liara. Please, join me."

She sat next to him and they enjoyed a comfortable silence, looking at the monument with the familiar eyes. It brought bitter sweet memories in all who knew Shepard, every time they looked at the statue.

Eventually Liara said, "The few times I saw Feron become so lost in memory he forgot where he was, it was usually a recollection of someone who had died."

Thane smiled slightly, "I was remembering the first time I said goodbye to Siha."

"Ah, before she was arrested. She told me about that once, it sounded like it was awful for you both. You must have thought you wouldn't see her again."

"I did," he said, "and not for the first time, as it turned out."

Liara huffed a small laugh. "It's strange how life works out isn't it?"

"Hmm, I am not sure I would want to do this for a thousand years. I'm unsure how you asari's do it."

"And here's me wondering how you short lived races manage to pack so much into your lives!" Liara laughed lightly.

"Yet some of us," he said solemnly, "seem to lose so much time in not really living. I spent ten years in battle-sleep instead of being a father. Then, when I am awoken... well..." he turned his palm up in a shrug.

"Kolyat knows you would do it all differently if you could, Thane."

"He does?"

Liara nodded. She had struck up a friendship with Koylat, after C-Sec had moved back into its rebuilt offices, where she used their terminals in her continuing search for the missing. "But you can't change anything now, and at least you met Shepard. Despite everything, I know you don't regret that."

"No, how can I? I love her."

"Oh, Thane!" Liara gushed, briefly showing the young asari she was, rather than the formidable warrior and Shadow Broker she had become so early in her life, "that's so sweet," she smiled brightly. After a pause she asked, "What do you think Shepard would say to that?" Liara nodded towards the statue.

"I've been wondering that myself since it was unveiled. I can imagine her insistence it looks nothing like her, as much as I can envisage her surprise at the likeness." Thane looked down at his hands, adding, "I'd give my own life up, again, just to be able to ask her."

"Oh Goddess, so would I! Give up my life I mean, not yours, ah, oh..."

Thane chuckled briefly, before asking, "Is it wrong I still feel blessed, Liara?"

"No! That any of us survived that war is a blessing we should treasure. I think Shepard would greatly appreciate that."

"Hmm, you are a wise woman, Liara, despite only being just over a hundred years old," he smiled, but only briefly as he gently admitted, "You know, it still shames me, that I had given her up for dead, on the Collector ship."

"To be honest, Thane, when I saw what you were looking at, the state she was in, Goddess forgive me, but I thought she was dead, too."

"She very nearly was." Thane said, darkly.

"Gosh, yes. I don't think I ever felt so helpless in my life, after we found her."

"Helpless?" Thane looked at his friend, "I'm not sure that's how al-Jilani would have described you. In fact I believe her exact words were 'thuggish brute' among other things."

Liara giggled, "Oh, please don't ever repeat this, but, Goddess help me, Thane, I enjoyed punching her!"

"She is fortunate," said Thane with a straight face, "personally I believe I would have cheerfully snapped her neck."

"Oh, goodness! That might be funny coming from someone else, but you..? Actually no, it's still funny!" Once they had settled down again she said, "If you don't mind, I think I'll accompany you to the hospital. Is Garrus there?"

"No, he's up there somewhere," Thane pointed in the general direction of the now repaired central ring, "shooting bottles."

"Ah, Shepard will be sorry she missed that."

Automatically, as if in unanswered agreement, they both stood and began strolling towards the hospital. Thane took a last look at the statue before turning back to Liara. "I could not have said this a few weeks ago, but my hope now grows. Shepard has always been a fighter, against whatever odds she faces, she has always had the will to win all of her battles."

"Yes," Liara smiled, "I know it didn't seem like it at first, but I'm happy to say she is proving us all wrong. I think she's going to be fine."

How Shepard was proving them all wrong no one knew. One doctor described her injuries as akin to being rammed by a shuttle at top speed. The worst of her problems included a collapsed lung, pierced by three broken ribs, and a cracked cranium, causing bleeding to the brain. Plus one arm was necrotising after losing its blood supply, due to a nasty shoulder dislocation. The doctors could only hope their therapy, to revive and replace the dead tissue in her arm, would save it. Bones in all four of her limbs were broken, but her right ankle was a mulch of tissue and bone fragments. Miranda had commented that it was almost like having to re-build the Commander all over again, having decided she would become a permanent presence among the medical team, whether they liked it or not. Fortunately her knowledge of Shepard's physiology was welcomed.

She'd had to undergo numerous invasive surgeries, not all of them major operations, but in her weakened state they were delicate, and it became almost expected that her heart would struggle to function, the muscle spasming in v-fib, unable to beat properly, until the medics intervened. It became almost routine. As such, Shepard spent the first couple of months in a permanently induced coma, before the doctors would even attempt to slowly bring her into a semi-conscious state. When they did, it was sometimes a traumatic experience for everyone. Thane especially, for he remembered the confusion from his own semi-woken moments. Yet, where he had reacted with a consistent calm, Shepard was, perhaps typically, unpredictable.

There were moments she would hold Thane's hand, seemingly content with his company. Other times she would push him away, distressed by his presence. Often she appeared to be fighting a war no one else could see, let alone understand.

Shepard often seemed mistrustful and angry, which Miranda probably took the brunt of. She mostly took it in her stride, perhaps because she was used to being called a 'Cerberus bitch', or perhaps because the doctors viewed any reaction a good sign of recovery. Only once had Miranda left the room close to tears, when Shepard had begged to be allowed to die this time.

Observing his Siha over those first few months, Thane had noted she was less wary of, or angry with, Jack, Liara and Zaeed, than she was of Miranda and himself. Although the presence of Garrus would scare her sometimes, and she would often insist the war wasn't yet over, no matter how much her friends reassured her. Shepard simply wasn't lucid enough to make much sense of her surroundings, or make herself understood, and her distress would be swiftly cut short, as the doctors forced her back into a deeper sleep.

While Shepard's body heeled in slow increments, the rest of the team fell into their own routines. Mordin and Kasumi re-joined the science teams working on the Mass Relay, both insisting on daily updates of Shepard's recovery. Jack and Zaeed joined forces with Jacob's cleanup crew on the Citadel, commenting on how they would patch something together, only to return later to find the keepers had seamlessly tidied up their work. Slowly the Citadel began to look as if nothing had happened to it, again and eventually they ferried themselves to Earth and begun to help out down there.

Bailey had talked Garrus into rejoining C-Sec. He found it much easier to cope with the regs and red tape, thanks to Bailey's style of Command, which was similar to that of Shepard's. Liara practically moved into her own office in C-Sec, and took up some of the slack as she continued to look for the missing - not just those she knew, but for anyone still searching for a loved one. Kolyat was another regular, friendly face, so Garrus was pretty content in his new role.

Thane spent his days by his Siha's bedside, or watching the patient lounge slowly going back to normal, as the tide of injured slowed to a trickle, and then reversed as more people left the hospital, one way or another, than checked in. Having been discharged himself, Thane spent only a few hours each day sleeping in the small apartment he leased near to the hospital before continuing his vigil next to his sleeping warrior-angel. Sometimes, he would take in the view of Earth everyone had now become accustomed to seeing - it only reminded Thane of the Collector ship.

Shepard's recovery became almost a daily staple on the news feeds and she had many visitors, including some dignitaries and diplomats, all of whom had to be turned away for the time being. Among the plethora of well wishers who sent messages, many contained gratitude for some good deed Shepard had done in the past. The team read each one, only deleting the occasional nasty. One particular unsavoury message came from a man who wanted Shepard to know he had carved her name into the bodies of a few of his victims. There were gifts, too, most notably from Kelly Chambers, who brought a small bowl of Prejak Paddle fish, which stayed next to Shepard's bed. Thane nearly didn't recognise the ex-Yeoman, and Kelly explained how Shepard had saved her life by suggesting she change her identity, in case Cerberus took her resignation badly. When Cerberus had invaded the Citadel, they'd actively rounded up and killed all ex-Cerberus personnel, apart from Kelly.

The banker, Barla Von, turned up with a volus diplomat, and the offer of a substantial donation to Huerta in Shepard's name. The sharp eared Dr Michel suggested they donate to some of the small, struggling, clinics in the wards instead. To her surprise those clinics stopped begging her for supplies within days. An elcor diplomat plodded in to wish Shepard well. She had helped extract some of his people from the Reaper ravaged Dekunna during the war.

A young boy was brought in by his mother and uncle, apparently Shepard made a big impact on all three of their lives before the child was even born, and they had bumped into Shepard many times on the Citadel. Then, there were the fans. 'Shepard's groupies' Jack called them, including super-fan Conrad Verner. Thane had met him on IIlium once in a bar and frankly thought the man to be a complete idiot. However, he appeared to have matured along with his whitening hair, and aside from wanting to remind Shepard how he had finally done something right by helping to translate some ancient texts - which ultimately helped the Crucible project along - he wanted, like many, to thank her. His girlfriend Jenna agreed and told Thane how Shepard had convinced her to stop working undercover at Chora's Den for the former Commander of C-Sec, the one Bailey was ultimately forced to kill. Also, an asari Thane had seen working at one of the Citadel stores came to offer Shepard blessings from the Goddess. It seemed Shepard had played cupid between her and a krogan boyfriend a long time ago. After the war had broken out, it was Shepard who had brought her the tragic news that her boyfriend had been killed, delivering a final message he had recorded to his 'blue rose of Ilium'. Thane recalled seeing them on Tuchanka, and had the impression the asari disliked the place, as much as most of Clan Urdnot seemed to dislike her presence there.

Thane and Miranda often felt like bouncers at Shepard's door, especially when it came to the press, who kept turning up hoping for an exclusive. Although, it was fascinating for him, meeting so many people whose lives Shepard had touched for the better. He had no idea there were so many. Even laying inert in a coma, Siha continued to amaze him.

Then there was the surprising appearance of the tall blue figure, carrying herself regally across the patient lounge towards where Garrus and Thane sat, a lone krogan body guard in tow. She stood before them, looking down her nose at the men, a sly smile on her face, clearly enjoying watching as Garrus' face slowly dawned its recognition of her.

"Aria T'Loak!" Garrus said slowly, grinning as he said amiably, "Well now, I almost didn't recognise you outside the club."

"How is she?" Aria asked, typically getting straight to the point.

Thane was surprised to see how friendly Garrus was towards the ex-self- appointed Queen of Omega as he filled her in on Shepard's recovery so far.

With a small nod, she said, "Perhaps I'll drop by another time, when she is able to receive visitors." It sounded sarcastic, but then Aria's tone usually did. "Maybe I'll bring her some grapes or something."

"Grapes?" Garrus frowned.

"It's a human fruit, grows on vines, is often used in wine making..."

"I know what they are," he interrupted, "I just don't know why you would want to give some to Shepard?"

"I hear it's a human tradition when one of them is hospitalised."

Before leaving Aria told them the surviving mercs of The Blue Suns, Eclipse and The Blood Pack were now helping with the cleanup effort on Earth, largely coordinated from on high by herself, of course. Shepard had been instrumental in convincing the three merc bands to work together as part of the war effort, and Aria felt Shepard would like to know the outcome. If Aria had an angle, neither Thane nor Garrus wanted to know what it was.

She bid them farewell with a nod to each man, "Thane," her smirk became shark like as she looked at Garrus, "Archangel." She sashayed away.

Garrus' mandibles drooped in surprise, "Well, so much for the reports of Archangel's death," he harrumphed.

"That was, surprisingly amiable."

"Hmm? Oh, Aria's ok when you get to know her... I suppose there's a lot you don't know," Garrus suddenly realised. "You'll have to ask Shepard, you know, when you can, but let's just say, Aria kind of watched her back. There was this one time in the club, after you died... As Shepard put it, she got shit-faced, drinking alone, there was a… minor incident. Shepard punched Kaidan Alenko, before passing out, or something." Garrus rolled his eyes, "Seems Aria made sure she was ok. She didn't have to, I suppose, but I think that asari has a lot of respect for Shepard. Just before the war ended they were almost… friends, of sorts. I'll tell you about it sometime, over a drink or two."

Thane smiled. Another surprising revelation about the influence his Siha wielded on others, seemingly without realising it. He was pained to note her distress lead her to drink alone, this wasn't the Siha he knew. He was however pleased to hear she was protected, even by the unlikeliest of allies.

The Collector ship still floated dead in space. Hackett had sent in another team on Sarah William's shuttle. They had discovered a few more seemingly unused labs, more dead, husk-like humans, and what looked to be the remains of a conduit similar to the one found on the Citadel. Though Hackett refused to speculate, with the absence of any means of transport on the Collector ship, it seemed likely the conduit on Earth had spat Anderson out on the Citadel, as planned, but somehow Shepard had ended up with the Illusive Man, and Anderson's recorded conversation had been with the avatars of him and Shepard. Yet, it was odd there was no mention of this during that conversation, and until Shepard could provide answers, the puzzle still largely remained unsolved.

Throughout all of these weeks Thane slowly came out of his shock after spending a long time walking between a kind of battle-sleep and the twisting, ever-changing reality he was trying to live in. Fortunately, his perfect memory helped him deal with all the opposing emotions at war inside of him. These he would sift through, sometimes alone, sometimes with his friends. Often it would bring them all clarity, as they looked back upon those last few minutes on the Collector ship. Kolyat continued to be a great source of strength, too, keen to share many of his father's memories, as well as his own, and the two men began to fall into an easy, close relationship.

Finally, as Shepard's body stabilised and began to heal in slow increments, all the hardships seemed to be behind them. All their wars, personal and galaxy wide, were over. The galaxy, whatever was left of it on the other side of the mass relay, had their Commander Shepard back, and Thane his Siha. He was as delighted as the doctors were surprised, to see Shepard not only survived her injuries, but progressed towards recovering from them.

As ever, Thane patiently waited, no longer a stranger to hope, his heart lighter than it had ever been in his life, as it continued to carry the deep love he felt for his Siha. He looked forward to the day his sleeping warrior-angel would finally awaken, and he could properly welcome her back to this side of the sea.

_'Wake up!'_

_Oh, no, not that bloody brat again!_

"Wake up Commander."

_You can f... Hang on... Miranda? Oh no, you have got to be kidding me, not again!_

"Shepard, do you hear me?"

She tried to open her eyes, wondering if she was being woken from the longest, most vivid dream ever; a dream which not only included meeting, and loosing, the love of her life, but also an all out galactic war with the Reapers. Was she now waking up on a Cerberus slab? Shepard quickly clamped her eyes shut at the painfully sharp brightness. Her ears picked up on a subtle, ambient noise - familiar, yet, not a sound she had actively listened to before. A barely perceptible, clean smell invaded her olfactory system, and her fingers brushed the soft cloth beneath them.

She felt sick. The memory of Thane's death gripped her tightly, thanks to the external stimuli. Briefly she wondered what had happened next, after she said goodbye. Did she collapse in the hospital, overwhelmed by grief? No, she remembered returning to the Normandy in a daze, emotions barely contained, almost running to reach the safety of her cabin where she could let go the flood of tears desperate to be spilled. But Alenko was there, waiting for her by the airlock, and she had to deal with his crap. Not that he could know what she was going through at that moment. Even so, she didn't want to analyze their last encounter, where she had shot the traitor Udina. Poor Kaiden still couldn't get his head around how they had pointed their guns at each other. He wanted to know if she would have actually shot him. Shepard didn't tell him that actually, she could cheerfully shoot him right now, if he didn't shut up and let her go grieve in peace.

_No wait, the war is over, isn't it? I'm definitely at Huerta Memorial._

"Siha?"

_Or... not._

"Thane?" She whispered weakly, smiling when she felt his hand squeeze hers, firm, strong, solid!

_Yes!_

With an excited heart, she slowly opened her eyes in a reverse blink, desensitising them to the light frustratingly slowly, until she could finally focus them on Thane's beautiful face. Those big eyes you could just drown in, the smile on his lips brighter than she had ever seen.

"So you did wait for me, after all."

"Yes, you could say that, my Siha," he smiled, taking his eyes off hers long enough to tell someone, "she needs water."

"Here you go Commander, take a sip from this straw."

_Straw? Don't you mean an emergency induction port?_

She grinned at the memory of Tali drunk on the Normandy. Her smile quickly fell away when she tore her gaze from Thane, to take the water, and saw the smiling features of Miranda.

_What the hell?_

She gripped Thane's hand, suddenly expecting it to vanish again, but he held hers firmly in both of his.

"Have a drink Shepard," Miranda encouraged softly.

Lacking the strength to push it away and demand answers, she simply complied and took a few sips. The water was welcome and pleasant, but she drank glaring up at Miranda, who had once not only saved her life, but actually resurrected her from death.

Oddly, Thane remained sitting by her bed, but she only relaxed her grip on him slightly when Miranda stepped back with a satisfied nod.

_Damn Cerberus cheerleader._

"The doctors are monitoring her vitals remotely, so I'll leave you to it for a little while. I'll just be outside the door. Call if you need anything, ok, Thane?"

_What? She can see him too?_

"Hospital?" She whispered, her voice cracked from underuse.

Thane confirmed her location with a grin wider than she thought he was capable of. Those big eyes focusing entirely upon her, full of compassion and love. He paused as if waiting for another question, but all she could do was stare, dumbfounded. Something clearly wasn't right here. This wasn't Thane, aside from the fact Thane was dead, this drell's smile, you could see his teeth! Thane never smiled like this. A creeping horror began to invade her senses, and all she could do was listen to him explaining how they had found and rescued her. She had to prompt him occasionally but soon discovered the fate of her team, those dead, and the ones still M.I.A. Seemingly holding nothing back, he spoke gently in Thane's voice.

"When we found you," he admitted, "I thought you were dead."

_Er, you thought _I_ was dead? Hello?_

She remembered. She made a choice and she chose Thane. But instead of being lead across the sea, it appears she was being lead down the garden path. He was surprised to learn she already knew Anderson was dead, and it gave her an odd feeling of victory to know something he didn't foresee. What she didn't admit to was her belief she had killed him, although the memory was, complicated.

She looked at him, the man she loved, the man she would have killed and died for, who she would have given anything to spend the rest of her life with. Now it appeared she could, but instead of joy she felt a cloying fear, and it took all her self control not to snatch her hand away from his. She wanted to hold him, feel his arms around her, oh how good that would feel. Yet she couldn't, and not just, she suspected, for her own sake, but for everyone else in the galaxy too.

"So, Garrus is alive?" At the drell's confirmation, she smiled, relieved. Then she pinned him with a look and said, in a tone more sarcastic than intended, "And so are you!" At his frown Shepard decided to tread lightly and apologised, stating she hadn't quite meant it to come out that way.

"I understand, Siha. This must be very difficult for you. Allow me to take away some of your confusion, and explain."

Listening to Thane's rumbling voice she was desperate to believe his story of miraculous survival. Hell, she was in a unique position to easily believe it. It sure beat 'I'm Commander Shepard, I was dead for two years, but I'm better now.' His story was a lot more plausible than hers. But even without the niggling doubts and despite all the unbelievable things she had witnessed and experienced over the years, surviving the war to return to the arms of the one person she wanted to see more than anything, just seemed a bit too good to be true.

So she argued, reiterating how the doctors had told her it was hopeless, and he couldn't be saved. Interestingly, it seemed some of her own doctors had intimated the same thing after she had arrived at the hospital.

She had to curl the fingers of her free hand around the bandage mostly covering them, wanting the mild physical pain to mask the emotional tide, threatening to overwhelm her, as she remembered saying goodbye to Thane. It still hurt, the pain almost as raw as that day. And she couldn't help remembering out loud how she had closed his eyes.

"As I… ah, slipped into a coma, yes. It is my last memory of my life, at least, it would have been."

If this was true, Shepard was about to be unbelievably cruel. Swallowing thickly, unable to look at the drell, she asked, "Can you share it with me?"

She expected him to be taken aback, but not the pain flickering across his face. It made her feel sick, and for a moment she doubted herself. But she understood there could be no room for doubt. How she understood this, she didn't know, frankly there was a frightening amount of unanswered questions she would need to get to the bottom of. But she had to start somewhere. Saying nothing, she waited for him to refuse to share this memory. He surprised her when his eyes lowered and he began to speak.

_"Kolyat speaks my prayer to her, his voice fading as I begin to slip away to the sea. I am frightened, and want to beg she not let me go, not now, but I can no longer speak. Her soft fingers touch my face, and I can no longer see. Finally, I accept my impending journey, as she whispers the last words I will ever hear, 'Goodbye Thane' as I... as..._

"Ah!" He sat back sharply, putting a hand up to his forehead for a moment, the other still holding hers tightly, too tightly, but quickly relaxing its grip. His eyes were watery as he took a deep breath. "I am sorry, Siha. It is one of my most… difficult memories. I have not revisited it, until now."

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, ignoring her own tears, and not allowing Thane to comfort her, unable to reciprocate as she was. "I shouldn't have asked that. I know what it's like to remember dying - It must be worse for you."

She wanted to offer more, but all she could hear was Anderson's voice in her head, warning her not to listen. She recalled how both Saren and the Illusive Man had found out, the hard way, to be very careful what you believed, when it came to the tricks the Reapers could play. Both had ultimately fallen victims to indoctrination.

"The war isn't over." It slipped out before she could stop it.

"Siha?"

"Uh, how come Koylat didn't tell me?" Shepard covered herself with a question she very much wanted the answer to.

It seemed poor Kolyat was afraid she would thump him again, but more than that, feared her wrath, and influence, would usurp his plans, thinking she might prefer to honour Thane's wishes to not be put on life support. Also, he was aware of her monumental fight against the Reapers, and felt offering her false hope was the last thing she would need. So Kolyat went ahead and carried the burden alone.

"But I had a right to know," she argued, secretly sympathising with Thane's son, who she would have hailed a hero in any other circumstance, "Unless he didn't know about, er, us."

"Oh, he did. I had no shame over our love - quite the opposite."

It should have been music to her ears. "Ok… and you didn't bother telling me because..."

When she learned he had sent her a message she brightened before suddenly realising it would be on her private terminal on a lost ship.

_Convenient._

Thane would not have kept a copy, a habit from his assassin days. That way if his body was found there would be no clues to connect him to anyone else, thus protecting his contacts from becoming potential victims themselves. Suddenly she realised there was one obvious question she had yet to ask, "How long? Since the war?" The answer left her breathless with horror.

_Three months! _She tried to sit up. _I've been laying around here at the mercy of the damn Reapers for three _months_?_ Sitting up was proving frustratingly difficult.

"Siha, calm yourself, please," he soothed, a hand on her arm. She pulled free of his gentle grip.

_Got to get out of here._

She wanted to run, to fight, to throw up, to do anything but lie in this bed.

"You must try and lie still," Thane told her, explaining the extent of her injuries.

On the one hand she was horrified, and it sparked hideous memories of how she fell victim to the Reapers through the Illusive Man. On the other hand she realised an important fact, they were unable to control her body, at least at the moment. It would explain the drell watching over her, but it gave her some advantage. None the less, terror and frustration crashed together, forming an angry knot inside her.

"Commander, what's wrong?"

_Doctor Michel?_

Miranda was beside her, opposite the drell. "Don't try to get up, Shepard, your still healing. It's too soon."

She wasn't listening, refused to listen. She was gritting her teeth, almost growling, when strong hands wrapped around her shoulders to hold her down. It was like being back on the Illusive Man's new base, after it was all over, and she was left with the Cerberus corpses and a horrible feeling of physical weakness and paralysis.

_You don't understand you idiots!_

Not that she could say anything with that drell around. Then another thought occurred, maybe they did understand. Maybe they were all part of it and nothing was real anymore. Shepard tried to writhe away from them, fighting a useless battle for some moments, until her head turned to the window and she saw it. She gasped, frozen in horror.

Earth!

Somehow it didn't look as magnificent as it had from the Collector ship, assuming the facts Thane had given her were true - although it did make a lot of sense. She recalled the way the Reapers had gotten into her mind, what they had forced her to do by making her shoot Anderson; but somehow even that had been a trick - a little demonstration of their control. The way they probed her mind… it felt as if physical, icy tendrils were writhing inside her brain. It was sickening. She was still unable to separate the confusing blend of fiction and reality.

"No, no, no, no! You bastards!" Shepard hissed through gritted teeth as she felt her body submitting to the drugs, once again out of her control.

How cruel. For a long time the Reapers had been desperate to get to her. Despite numerous attempts over the years, they couldn't kill her, so instead they tried to control her. She had put up one hell of a fight, but eventually, they found a way. After their aborted attempts to get into her head, they had discovered another potential way. While invading her mind they must have discovered her one weakness, her heart. The Reapers may not understand feelings, but they sure knew how to manipulate them.

Maybe the drell was the only imposter or maybe they all were. Either way, there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it, right now. Shepard understood she had to get stronger first, as fast as possible, and in the meantime just suck it up while she watched and figured things out.

"Rest, Siha." Thane's gentle face close to hers, radiating the love she had so yearned to feel again for so long. How easy it would be just to reach out her arms to him, curl herself up in his strong embrace, and just accept her fate. But what would that be? A slavering husk? Anyway, it wasn't just her fate she would be gambling with, but that of the whole galaxy, as always.

_'You must choose.'_

Yeah, that's what the kid meant on the Collector ship when Thane - this drell - had miraculously stumbled upon her with her team. It hadn't been a life or death decision at all, just another damn Reaper trick. The drugs calmly pulled at her senses. It felt like drowning. She realised Thane had been the one holding her down. His grip was gentle but it brought on a sense of sluggish fury.

"Sleep, Siha," he smiled. "We can talk more later."

She fixed the drell with an icy glare. "My name," she hissed, "is Shepard!"

Her eyes closed on his devastated features. It broke her heart.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven.**

_Ooh Reapers._

Shepard was sitting up in bed, staring out of the window, when Thane entered. It was as if she was lost in memory, the way a drell could be from time to time. Her imperfect human recall had often made him wonder how she coped piecing together the end of the war. How had she become prisoner to the Illusive Man's corpse?

Over the last two months, Thane had considered, many times, if he should continue to visit Shepard at all. But both his heart, and his friends, had encouraged him to keep returning to her side, if not daily anymore then often. The fact some of Shepard's team, and the Normandy, was still missing seemed to give her the strength to recover faster than even the most optimistic of doctors could predict. Her desire to 'Stop sitting around on my ass and join the damn search' helped her to turn the frustration she felt over her invalidity, into a determination to get back on her feet as quickly as possible. In fact, it surprised Thane to see Shepard in her room at this time of day. Usually, she was either in physio or the gym, complaining about the 'pathetic little weights' she would add to when no one was looking.

Always the warrior-angel, his Siha. Not that Thane had spoken this name in weeks. As much as it pained him, dreadfully, he realised she may never be his again. Perhaps asking her to love a man she had mourned with such vicious pain, according to what little Garrus had told him, made it impossible to open hear heart to him again. Thane understood; it was her form of battle-sleep, a way of protecting herself, and he wouldn't begrudge her this. Nor could he give up, responsible as he was for the shocking way she discovered all of that pain, and mourning, had been for nothing. At least she still seemed to accept him in her life - as far as tolerating his company by her bed, or on short walks around the Presidium. If this was all she could give, he would accept it with gratitude. She was alive, and this is what counted the most.

As always she was in battle, at times emotionally, always against her body's weakened state, and the lingering effects of the terrible injuries it suffered. The will she had to live was far greater than Thane's own had been, at least for the many years between his diagnosis and meeting this Siha. Her desire to live had turned into an iron will to recover, and get on with the life she had fought so hard to keep.

She had seemingly accepted the circumstances surrounding Thane's own unexpected longevity, and no longer saw him as the shadow of death come to guide her across the sea. But she still battled other confusions, many of which he was not privy to. Asking Shepard to share her burdens with him had been met with suspicion, and guarded hostility. He could only hope she would take him into her confidence in time. Now, it settled between them like a wall.

Confusingly, there were times she allowed him to hold her hand, a couple of times she had even reached out to him, before appearing to force any feelings she had for him away. Others too had felt Shepard's unfamiliar coldness. Considering everything she had been through, it was tolerable, and they all simply hoped time would help heal Shepard's shattered emotions, the same way it had for her shattered bones.

But it was hard. Her self-imposed distance, the fact she clearly didn't trust him, something she couldn't hide as well as, perhaps, she thought she was. Shepard would not allow him close enough to hold her at all, and it was a craving which silently burned inside him.

It hurt. Every day, it hurt.

Yet recently, her struggle to keep her distance from him had increased, as her resolve wavered. She had begun to ask again about his recovery, and many times he had patiently repeated as much information as he could, unclear as to why she struggled to believe him or the doctors she had spoken to about his time in Huerta.

"Shepard?"

Rolling her head away from the window, she offered a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, and Thane hesitated at the door no longer.

"Hi."

"You are well?" Thane was pleased when she allowed him to hold her hand as he hooked a foot around the leg of a chair, dragging it towards him to sit.

"Oh," she huffed, "ok."

"I thought you might be in the gym?"

She shrugged, "Shrinks just been in to see me."

"Oh?"

"Says I'm depressed," Shepard muttered sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Suggested I take some happy pills."

"Happy pills?" Thane was momentarily confused, before realising she meant anti-depressants. "Ah, but you're not keen on the idea?"

"No, not really."

"Well, that is your choice, Shepard, and I'm sure you will become much happier when you are able to leave this place."

"Hmm, choices, choices," she muttered, "always with the damn choices. Should I sacrifice person A or person B. Should I save the galaxy before breakfast or after dinner? Should I take the blue pill or the red pill?" At Thane's blinking stare she sagged, "Oh don't mind me. It's just been one of those days."

Unable to fully comprehend what Shepard was going though, he tried, "You saw Admiral Hackett this morning?"

"Yeah, guess I was in no state for a de-brief last time he was on the Citadel."

"It went... well?"

"Er, ok I guess. Still trying to piece some things together, but he confirmed what we already knew. I didn't make it to the Citadel. Maybe Anderson wasn't supposed to either," she shrugged. "Either way, seems the Reapers poured all their efforts into me, in the hope of distracting Anderson. Guess they failed, eh?" She grinned, looking at him pointedly.

There was something else to that look - there always was, but Thane couldn't work out what. He simply nodded.

"Hackett suggested the Reaper race was somehow hoping to survive in me, somehow build an army of flesh and cybernetics in some symbiotic hell. What do you think, Thane? You think he's right?"

"It's... possible. There are many theory's, but this seems the most likely."

"Hmm," she searched his face, "it's not easy, figuring out what's real and what's... a lie."

"It seems," he smiled, "reality isn't always quite the way we perceive it, even without the Reapers interfering." It was meant to be a small comfort, Thane's way of letting her know he had some empathy with her confusions. She stiffened, a hard look shadowing her features. He feared she might snatch her hand away and be done with him again. Quickly, but softly, he explained, "Both of us lived in the reality of each other's deaths. For me it was only seconds as I found, what I believed to be… your corpse. No time at all compared to what you suffered, but..." he shrugged.

"You remember," she understated. Her hand relaxed in his.

Thane nodded, "The point is, we were wrong. Those realities we lived in were... false."

"Hmm, fickle reality," she nodded glumly, looking over his shoulder out of the window, clearly fighting her inner turmoil as many emotions passed across her face. Anger, pain, sadness, she looked so tired as well. Suddenly her eyes fixed upon Thane again, and her next words were spoken as if challenging him, "Are you real, Thane?"

It was an odd question, different from the last few times, when she had wondered out loud 'are you really alive?' As before Thane attempted to reassure her, by opening his tunic to reveal the hair width scar, slicing a light green line from his collar bone, down to his abdomen, as he reiterated the circumstances of his recovery.

While he spoke Shepard surprised him by sitting forward to trace a light fingertip down his breastbone. This was the first time in over a year he had felt her touch, other than her hand in his. It made the scales on his back tingle from his neck to his hips, and he had to fight hard not to shiver. He abruptly stopped talking when she placed the palm of her hand flat against the scar. Slowly he brought his own hand up to place it over hers, gently trapping her hand against him, so she could feel his chest rise and fall as he inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly. He repeated the process, showing her the control he now had over his lungs, how he could fill them without collapsing into a coughing fit.

"If you put your ear to my chest," he told her almost in a whisper, "you won't hear any bubbles," using Shepard's inaccurate description of the sound his lungs made when she lay against him.

"No bubbles," she whispered, absently.

Shepard had grown to hate that sound. She hadn't confessed this to him, but her pain at this reminder his time was short, had been clear.

A silent tear rolled down her cheek, and Thane automatically moved to comfort her. But the hand on his chest now held him back. She cried through flinted eyes, and spoke through clenched teeth.

"If you... I want... I don't... God _damn it_!" She snatched her hand away, so it could join the other in hammering her frustrated fists on the bed, either side of her legs. Quickly her wrath subsided and she eyed Thane, who simply sat impassive, patiently waiting for her to work through it. He hoped, Gods how he hoped, she knew how much he loved her.

Then she burst out laughing. She threw her head back, hugging her ribs as the sudden laughter poured out of her. Looking at him only made her more hysterical, and she rocked side to side. "Sorry," she squeaked between loud giggles, "I give up... you win," she laughed even harder, "oh quads... that... hurts," she gasped. Some words were too unintelligible.

As shocking as her sudden hilarity was, Thane couldn't help smiling. Her uncontrollable mirth infectious, if not understood. He enjoyed her laughter, to see her like this… it had been so very long since he had heard the sound of her laughing.

Eventually she wiped away her tears of mirth, possibly pain as well, Thane couldn't be sure, and she subsided into silence with a sigh, still smiling while she got her breath back. When she looked at him there was a new kind of fire in her eyes, and she reached for his hand. As her smile left her darkening face, the tears returned, spilling onto cheeks barely dry from the last time. There was no more anger. Now Thane saw unmistakeable sadness, even fear.

Blowing out a deep breath, she spoke evenly, "If all this is real, then... don't give up on me Thane, not yet. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to. I know you're hurting. Either you understand exactly what I'm saying here, and it won't matter anyway, or you won't have a clue what I'm banging on about and, eventually, it will all be ok. Just, bear with me. Don't..." she inhaled deeply again, seemingly considering her words the way someone might consider jumping into a varren pit, in the middle of a fight, "don't leave me." She clenched her jaw.

Thane's heart nearly burst with joy, despite her obvious distress. He vowed he would not leave her side. It was an easy promise to make, but even if it hadn't been, it was one he would fulfil, literally, if that's what it took. So, he continued to sit by her bed, holding her hand, long after she had fallen into an exhausted sleep.

"It seems like forever since I just, sat down." Anderson smiled looking up at her.

"Hump!" She muttered, pacing the floor in front of him, looking around, and nervously waiting for someone else to turn up, though she didn't know who. "Well, I've been stuck in that damn hospital bed for so long, I swear my ass has gone flat!"

"Looks fine to me," teased Anderson with a smirk, rumbling a hearty laugh, which sound like three voices at once. There was no time to answer, something was coming!

"It's quite a view."

She rounded on him, hands on her hips. But he was looking over her shoulder at the breathtaking vista of the planet outside.

"Best seats in the house," she said automatically, adding, "I've seen it enough already, thanks."

"You did good, child, you did good."

This made her want to cry for some reason. "The Normandy is still missing, it's been months."

"I know," Anderson nodded sadly with a sigh. "All we can do is keep fighting the good fight."

So true, she nodded. Brightening a little she told him, "I think Thane survived. He's alive!" When she looked down Anderson was gone.

"That's not true!"

She whirled around to see him standing a few feet away, looking at her with such intensity, teeth gritted in anger. Only he was looking past her, at something she couldn't see. She wanted to stand by her Admirals side, but for some reason it wasn't possible, it would be pointless to try.

His teeth bared as he insisted, "Don't listen to him, he's indoctrinated."

"No!" She insisted, angrily marching towards Anderson, intending to grab his shoulders. He had no substance, her hands passed straight through him, and she pulled back in horror and utter revulsion.

Shepard looked over her shoulder into the shadows, and they both shouted as one, "What have you done?" All she could feel was abject, mind blowing fear, and found her feet were rooted to the spot. She waited for them, the enemy, the monsters, to come and rain blow upon blow on her body, knowing she would be defenceless. Her terrified heart hammering so hard it threatened to burst out of her chest.

"Siha, are you well?"

_Oh, thank the Gods!_

She turned, searching for Thane among the shadow people who danced around her, desperately trying to let go of the gun she only just realised was in her hand. For some reason that weapon felt like a deadly viper instead of the protection it gave her.

"Siha!" The Illusive Man walked towards her smiling his knowing, confident smile, his arms thrown out at his sides. Then he coughed, so hard he eventually had to pick himself up off his knees.

Shepard clutched at her stomach as if she had been shot, her hand wet with warm blood though she felt no pain. No physical pain anyway.

"Time for me is short Siha, but any I have is yours to take."

"You bastard!" She screamed her fury. Her hand brought her gun up, without her consent, and fired it over and over, She vaguely wondered why it fired at all without a heat sink, and why the Illusive Man didn't go down. Instead he was beside her, grinning in triumph. She fell to her knees.

"Anderson? You up here too?"

"I followed you up," It sounded like he was speaking through her comm, but he was right in front or her, "but we didn't come out in the same place."

Pushing herself back onto her feet she tried to go to him, but instead her hand made her bring the gun up again, and point it at Anderson.

_No!_

She fired.

"Ah!" Shepard moaned softly as the half remembered dream, just another nightmare, flung her into sudden wakefulness. A weight on her hand. She blinked at the drell, and it took her a moment to realise he was asleep, his head resting on her bed, his hand loosely curled over hers. There was something really odd about him.

Her ankle was aching as usual, and her back hurt from sleeping sitting up. Needing to stretch, Shepard slid her hand out from under Thane's and up above her head, arching her back slightly. Looking down at the drells closed eyes, she realised this was the first time she had ever watched him sleep.

Then it hit her. The realisation made her pull her head back sharply, as if she had just experienced a physical blow. She stared at the drell's sleeping form in wide eyed horror, and icy dread. Her heart hammered against her chest like it wanted to escape. She forced herself to move, smoothly, but quickly, sliding her legs out of bed, willing her limbs not to let her down, to be swift and strong, as they had been trained to be, instead of clumsy as they often were at the moment.

Shepard's feet found the soft slippers Liara had bought her, grey to match the pyjamas she always wore. Comfortable to sleep in, but practical enough to not look too out of place padding around the Normandy, on those nights she couldn't sleep. With no boots to call her own anymore, the slippers would have to do, and she pushed her feet into them, then against the floor to stand. Wanting to reach out and snatch her crutches, Shepard forced herself to look at the drell. Holding her breath, half hoping she'd see his big eyes blinking at her, half terrified she would. Seeing his head was still lying against her bed, she was filled with a mixture of fear, anger, and deep broken-hearted sorrow. She had come so close to accepting him. It made her shudder, and she forced herself not to cry, as she put her crutches under her arms and was at the door in three long swings. It opened, filling her room with quiet hospital sounds. She paused, and then left without looking back.

_Bastard!_

The sharp stabs of pain and dull aches in her body were nothing compared to the pain in her heart. For now she smothered it all with anger, and a renewed determination. Her will had been very nearly eroded, after all these weeks in physio, quietly trying to form a plan. Yet again the Reapers had been close to succeeding. Close, but no cigar, as one of her old Alliance instructors used to say. She made a fast escape, feeling like a fake on the crutches, now all the broken bones in her legs had healed. But she moved much faster on them and her badly smashed ankle still couldn't bear her weight for too long without aching horribly, despite the pain meds.

With a shattered heart, and full of fury, Shepard left her ward, moved past the room in which Thane had died, and swung herself through decontamination, making a beeline for the lift. She kept her head down, hoping no one would recognise her, as she shot past main reception, and towards the exit.

She was about to lift a crutch and jab the call button, when a familiar voice called, "Shepard?"

_Garrus? Crap!_

She shuffled around in an ungainly half-circle, planting a smile on her face as Garrus approached. The lift doors opened behind her, and it was all she could do to stop herself from bolting into the car.

"I was about to come see you," Garrus said. "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"Oh, uh, just a walk, change of scenery, bit of exercise, Y'know," she shrugged.

"Er, in your sleep wear?"

She should have blushed, or laughed it off, but instead she glared at her old friend, snapping, "What the fuck has it got to do with you what I wear?"

Stunned for a second, Garrus took a step back, but crossed his arms and asked, "O...k Jack, what have you done with the real Commander Shepard?"

"Oh hell, I'm sorry Garrus, I didn't mean to snap. I'm a bit, er, stir-crazy, yeah! Stuck in this damn hospital, Y'know?"

"I'll say." Following her gaze Garrus looked over his shoulder, before turning back to her with a frown. "So... what's really going on?"

"Nothing! I... Oh hell." She sagged onto her crutches, swaying slightly while she rested her bad ankle, toes resting lightly against the floor.

Shepard had long come to trust Garrus, as much as she could trust anyone right now, and had been relieved to discover he had survived that final conflict on Earth, after all. She had even spoken a little about the indoctrination the Reapers, through the Illusive Man, had subjected her to, and had considered asking for his help. But aside from not being great at asking for help, a failing Thane had made her all too aware of, the real Thane anyway, she was afraid voicing her plans may somehow alert the Reapers. Now this no longer mattered. They wouldn't be able to do a damn thing about it by the time she had carried out her plans, and as a Commander, she was accustomed to putting those she cared about the most in danger if a greater good would come of it. It would be worth the gamble so, despite all the unanswered questions confusing her thoughts, Shepard made a decision, and took a deep breath.

"Garrus. I need to get off the Citadel. Now!"

"Er... you need to do what now?"

Shepard hobbled over to a quiet corner, pausing only briefly when she realised this was the very spot she had often sat with Thane, during her frequent visits to the Citadel, before he died. But there was no time for reminiscing. Making sure they were out of earshot of anyone, she stood close to Garrus, and in an urgent whisper told him, "Garrus, the Reapers aren't all dead."

"What?" He flinched, checking to make sure he hadn't disturbed anyone before bending towards her, hissing, "What? Shepard, the Crucible..."

"Worked," she nodded, looking up into his questioning eyes, "in _this_ system! But what about all the others?"

"Well, we know the relays..."

"We don't _know_ a damn thing! Do we? It's all guesswork, assumptions. We won't know for sure until the relay is fixed. I have to stop them, the science team. Maybe buy us some time at least, or keep the Reapers out permanently."

Garrus studied her for a moment before suggesting, "I think you should talk to Hackett..."

Shepard cut him off again, "Not good enough. No time for all the red tape and diplomacy crap, it'll take too long. I'll just warn the science team when I get to the relay, give them time to back off. I'll destroy the damn thing if need be."

"What? You can't do that Shepard! How would you destroy it anyway?"

"You forget, I have experience in these things," she grimaced.

"You kind of had help then, Shepard. Unless you have an asteroid, all fully charged and ready to go, handy? Anyway, that took half the system with it as far as we can tell!"

"Agreed, I don't intend to sacrifice the Sol system! Look I'll figure out the details on the way. But with the classified plans Kasumi sent me, I'm pretty sure I can break the thing so it can't be repaired, without causing a massive explosion." She hoped this didn't sound as lame to her friend's ears as it did to hers. "Garrus, will you help me, er, purloin a shuttle?"

He took a deep breath, "Shepard, what makes you think all the Reapers aren't dead? I mean, there's obviously more to it than they _might_ be lurking on the other side of the Relay."

"I worked it out!" She glared.

"Sorry Shepard, but you'll have to do better than that. Some of us need that relay fixed so we can get home, or at least find out what mess is left of our homes," he sighed.

"Look, I understand your need to get back to Palavan and I'm sorry. There's so many people cut off from their home worlds," she swept a hand around the room, nearly dropping one of her crutches in the process, "but this is too great a risk. You know that Garrus. I have to stop the science teams, then you have to tell them. Make them understand. We didn't win the war, just the first battle. Tell them, the Reapers are still coming!"

He stepped back, his small eyes wide, "Why me? Why can't..."

"I'm not coming back, Garrus. It's a one way trip for me."

He looked frightened, his mandibles twitching. "Shepard, I..."

"I don't have much time," she insisted, looking over her shoulder towards the door to decontamination. "Listen, Hackett's theory about the Reapers messing with my head, through the Illusive Man, in order to stop Anderson?" Garrus nodded and she continued, "He's half right. After we managed to chase Saren to the Citadel, via the conduit, it made sense for the Reapers to try and divert us getting to the Citadel again if they couldn't stop us. But with Anderson making it, they needed me to try and stop him, only I was too strong for them. But I... I don't think I was just their... plan B if you like, I think they also had a plan C. I shouldn't have survived my injuries, Garrus, but I did, and I don't believe it was just some happy miracle. My survival gives the Reapers another shot, maybe even a way in, without the relay. I believe I'm still undergoing indoctrination. Its subtle. They have no real direct control over me right now, but I think they're close. Garrus, they figured out another way to get to me." At his worried confusion, she added, "Thane." Again she thought this sounded less plausible when spoken out loud, than it did sitting in her head all these weeks. She ploughed on. "Maybe my presence here is giving them a way of messing with everyone's head, just enough to believe what were all seeing. Or maybe that drell is... some kind of, of, I dunno, Cerberus clone or something. Either way, he isn't the real Thane. Thane's dead." Shepard spoke with angry certainty; it covered her pain for now. "After trying and failing at every other way to kill me, or control my mind, the Reapers finally found a way to get to me. Through my... emotions. Thane was always my weak spot, you know that," she sighed sadly.

Garrus eyed her while he processed her words, before gently saying, "I was maybe with you up until the Thane bit. I mean, why don't you think it's him again?"

"Because he's..." Shepard pursed her lips.

_...Sleeping? Oh yeah, there's a convincing line!_

"There's a couple of things..."

_His laugh is different as well. Hell, how do I convince Garrus without sounding like a complete nut?_

"Come with me," she insisted.

Shepard whirled around, wobbled, and then set off back towards her room, desperately hoping the drell was still asleep. He didn't scare her, much, at least not as a physical threat, right now. She just needed to show Garrus if she was to make him understand, and convince him to help. Or at least get out of her way and keep his mouth shut.

Garrus had to jog a few paces to catch up with her, muttering, "Hang on."

"I'm the one on crutches, and you're telling me to slow down?"

Entering decontamination she paused, almost as breathless as if she had been running. Be this due to the physical, or emotional exertion, she didn't know. Once Shepard turned into her ward she did slow down as they approached her room, terrified the drell would be awake and looking for her.

It was too easy to believe the war was over. Hell, it's what she wanted to believe, more than anything. To have Thane back, it would have been wonderful. She was so sick of fighting the damn Reapers. But they had screwed up, by allowing the Illusive Man to show off his borrowed skills of control. They may have gained information from her, but they played their hand too soon, and despite everything, she was too wise to their tactics.

Cringingly approaching the slim window next to her door, Shepard cheered inwardly when she saw the drell still flat out.

_Oh that is so not Thane!_

Waving Garrus over she pointed at the sleeping man, then moved out of the way, whispering, "Look, tell me what you see."

Peering through the window he said, "Er, I'm not sure..?"

"Shh!" She hissed, before looking up towards the ceiling in frustration, then back at her friend. Through gritted teeth she asked, "What's the drell doing?"

"Not very much really," he said, causing Shepard to pin Garrus with a look that said 'answer the damn question soldier!' With a roll of his eyes he tried, "Sleeping?"

Satisfied, she turned away with a nod to Garrus to follow her back down the ward and around a corner. Once there, she turned to fix her eyes on his, "Exactly!"

Garrus looked at her like she had grown another head, mandibles tight against his face, to stifle laughter or anger she wasn't sure. "I'm pretty sure," he said slowly, "drells sleep. Er, don't they? I mean I'm assuming here, but..."

"Yes, dammit, they do!" She snapped. "That's not the point!"

Garrus lifted his chin towards some empty seats in a corner, opposite a science lab, and Shepard leaned her crutches against the wall before sitting next to her friend.

"Ok," he said, "tell me the point, please."

She sighed, searching for a way to try and help him understand. "You know Thane and I, uh, got together the night before we hit the Collector base right?"

"Oh now look, if you're going to start giving me details..." his eyes roamed everywhere, avoiding hers.

"No!" She almost laughed at this, part of her feeling relieved to finally be getting all of this knowledge, bottled up insider her for so long, off her chest. "No, not that. But, you know he spent those last few nights on the Normandy in my cabin, every night, while we were dropping everyone off, and you guys were writing those reports for me..." She looked down at her feet, remembering how the team had insisted on filing reports of the past several months, all of their missions, especially the final one on the Collector base, to speak up on their Commander's behalf, in the hope the Alliance Admiralty would understand why she had been seemingly working with a terrorist organisation such as Cerberus. Even Grunt, who was no fan of writing, managed a few lines about serving with his krantt and Battlemaster.

"In all that time," she said softly, "I was never able to watch Thane sleep, Y'know? And it annoyed the hell out of me! I used to love watching Kaidan sleep, it was... soothing, I guess. But Thane? Hell I'm not even entirely convinced he ever slept properly." She shook her head, a small smile on her lips. "Well, one night, I faked sleep. I waited for ages until I knew he was asleep. It was easy to tell, the cabin being so quiet and his lungs... well, he was definitely asleep. All I did was turn my head, real slow, and ping! His eyes opened!"

"Ping?" Garrus barely tried hiding his smile.

"Yes, ping!" Shepard huffed. "Be quiet and listen... Where was I?"

"Ping," he reminded.

She shook her head, unable to help smiling briefly. "So, I must have wasted an hour I could have been sleeping, and I was so pissed off. He, he told me I'd have to stay really still, to catch him sleeping. It was his training, the slightest movement, or sound or, 'change of taste in the air' would wake him, even from deep sleep. The only place he had ever been able to sleep properly, around other people, was back at home, with Irika and Kolyat before... Y'know."

Garrus nodded sadly.

"He told me, after Irika died, and he left the hanar home world, he learned to survive on naps, knowing when to react to external stimuli, and when to turn over. It saved his life a few times... But Garrus, now look at him! He's sleeping like Jacob's baby!"

"Oh, you haven't spent enough time with Jacob's baby!" Garrus chuckled briefly, before fixing her with an even look, asking mildly, "Shepard, are you insane?"

"Ok, not quite the response..."

"Never mind!" Garrus snapped, now showing anger. "Have you actually listened to yourself?"

"Look, I know it's tenuous, Garrus, I'm not stupid, or insane, not yet anyway, but _that's not Thane_!"

Garrus looked away to one side, something he often did while thinking something through. When he turned back to her his anger was gone as quickly as it had appeared, and he spoke gently. "No, I'll grant you, that drell isn't the Thane you knew."

Shepard was taken aback at this sudden u-turn, but closed her mouth on the comment she was about to make, when Garrus held up a hand to continue speaking.

"The Thane you knew did die, and believe me, Shepard, I know how much it hurt you; it practically killed you. Frankly, I don't know how you kept going every day."

She was about to agree with him but he shook his head, insisting, "Let me finish." Once satisfied she was listening, Garrus continued. "That drell in there," he pointed a talon in the general direction of her room, "is the Thane who woke up, shocked to discover he had his life back. Who spent months, just like you, enduring operation after operation, dealing with so much to live, just as you have Shepard. Then when he did recover enough to be able to sit up without help, his first thought was for you. From what I gather, as much as he wanted to tell you he was alive, he was afraid _for_ you, how the news might upset the mission, and have you charging back to the Citadel, instead of saving the damn galaxy!"

"I didn't save..."

"Then," Garrus continued, clearly on a roll, "the war ends, and every hour, every minute that goes by, he's in pieces, wondering what the hell happened to you. Hell he risked Kolyat's wrath just to go onto that Collector ship, even though he wanted to join the teams searching for you here. And do you know why?" Garrus paused only long enough for Shepard to shake her head. "Because it's what you would have done, Shepard. He felt he should go where he was most needed, in your honour."

She frowned, "But Garrus, he doesn't even laugh like Thane, I can see that drells teeth!"

"Hmm, isn't it amazing, how discovering you're not about to die anymore, can cheer a person up," Garrus said with dripping sarcasm, before continuing his lecture. "Did you know, I had to practically carry him back to the shuttle, after we found you? He was in so much shock! You can't fake that Shepard."

"No, I..."

"And that wasn't even the end of it! He was there to watch your heart stop - three times! I know drells can't go white like you humans can, but he made a damn good try of it. Every time, it nearly killed him. Those first few weeks were hell, for all of us, with you barely clinging to life like that, but still, I can't imagine what Thane went through." He shook his head with a sigh.

Shepard couldn't really imagine it either. Thane's death had been terrible, almost as bad as watching her parents butchered. But at least she hadn't suffered through weeks of uncertainty, waking up every morning wondering if this might be the day someone you loved so much, would finally die. Her mornings had been like this, but it was a horrible inevitability, with no hope fuelled chance he might recover dangling over her head, teasing her every waking moment.

"But despite everything," Garrus continued, "he held your hand through countless weeks of coma, tried to calm you, when you yelled at the doctors to leave you the hell alone. Or called Miranda, and I quote, a 'Cerberus cheerleader bitch!'"

"I said that?" Shepard was stunned.

Nodding, Garrus said, "You told me to 'fuck off already', because I was dead and you had enough ghosts in your life, so you didn't need one dropping by for a damn chat!"

"Oh Garrus, I'm so sorry."

He waved away her apology, smiling, "Don't worry about it. It was to be expected. Which is why Thane kept returning to your bedside, no matter what you said to him."

"What?" She wanted to know.

"The worst thing?" He sighed, "For him, probably that first time they woke you up properly, and you told him not to call you Siha anymore."

_My name is Shepard!_

"I remember that," she sighed. "It was before I decided to play along. I figured I'd learn more by, well, keeping my enemies close, I guess. It nearly killed me... Garrus, I can't tell you how bad..." she trailed off, clenching her fists on her lap.

"Hmm, well he was in two minds about visiting you again, after that. He was contemplating going to Earth for a while, to help with the clean up down there."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. But instead, when he hasn't been with you, he's been guarding that patient lounge like a damn gargoyle."

She couldn't help sniggering at that.

"It's not funny, Shepard," Garrus chastised gently. "Thane got his life back but, you didn't see how badly damaged the Citadel was. Thane knew they needed able bodied people to help with the repairs. And Earth, well, you saw it yourself. How would you have felt, fit and healthy enough to join Zaeed and Jack, but instead, having to hang around here, in case something... happened?"

"It's the worst hell ever," she said defiantly, "I had to, remember? Every time I said goodbye to Thane, I didn't know if that would be the last time I'd see him alive."

"Hmm, fair point. But you had a war to win, Shepard, you had that... duty. Thane couldn't help you while he was recovering, and it nearly killed him... Ah, bad choice of words, sorry." Garrus smirked.

She rolled her eyes, waiting for her friend to continue.

"Well anyway, I guess he figured he owed you or something. This time he could, how did he put it? Help you with your battle to live, or some such, I don't remember. Apart from sitting around a hospital he was, frankly, already sick of seeing, I guess you could say he gave up a lot of his dignity, just to be here for you. We all got on with our lives as best we could, but Thane's barely begun his. Well, his second shot at life anyway, and let's face it, the first time around hasn't exactly been much fun for him." Garrus paused to let all this sink in while he took her hand, and looked at her sternly, though his voice was a gentle purr as he told her, "Shepard, seriously, you can't go charging off to save the galaxy based on the fact that a drell fell asleep."

She didn't want to, but couldn't help bursting into laughter. "Well, when you put it that way," she managed to stop giggling and added, "but he's no ordinary drell..."

"No, that he isn't," Garrus interrupted, "He's no ordinary anything. But he is a drell whose been running on empty for months, he's had trouble sleeping since we found you. Twice I've caught him nearly nodding off in the patient lounge."

"Really? I didn't know... any of that. What you've all been through, what I've put you all through..."

Garrus waved his free hand. "The doctors warned us you might, uh, go through some stuff."

"Oh?"

"Hmm. They told us you might have a few problems, confusion, some emotional stuff. Any soldier would, hell there's plenty still traumatised after the war. But, what you went through, at the end there, it was pretty... unique. I know your still not completely convinced you didn't shoot Anderson, only, it was just an illusion Shepard, you didn't make it to the Citadel, you know that right?"

"I think so, I'm still foggy. Things are slowly coming back but... To be honest, most of the time, I think it's still just a theory..."

"As is your, 'the drell isn't Thane, ergo you're still indoctrinated, and the Reapers are coming', theory."

She snorted, "Yeah, fair point. But it's too big a risk to assume..."

"Which is why the science team will be sending an information buoy through the relay, before sending a ship, and they are prepared to shut it down, and if need be, destroy the relay themselves, at one sniff of a Reaper."

"Really?"

Garrus shook his head as if she should have known this all along, which maybe she should have. "Remember, Shepard, it's a one way trip until the relay on the other side is fixed."

"Oh come on, you think the Reapers couldn't fix it themselves? And what if they have gone and crawled back under their damn rock somewhere and the buoy can't detect them? What if they're waiting until all the relays are fixed, before launching another assault?"

"Do you seriously believe the science teams haven't already considered that, Shepard?" Garrus gave her an incredulous look. "You'll need to speak to Mordin or Kasumi for the details, or Hackett. But they have some kind of improved early warning system, which will shut the relay down, and prevent passage through..."

"What? For the Reapers?"

He shrugged, "Any invading force I believe, any ships trying to come through rapidly, en masse, but yes, the Reapers too. Look, no one is charging off back out there blindly, Shepard, we're not stupid. And as for Thane, I'm pretty sure he'll submit to proving his identity or something."

She was silent for a while as she processed everything Garrus told her, realising this was the first time they had really sat down and talked properly. Actually, the first time she'd had a proper conversation with anyone, apart from small talk, mostly. One thing was clear, the science team knew what they were doing; she wouldn't be needed, after all. Not being needed for a change should have been a load off her shoulders, but in some ways it scared her. What was she supposed to do with herself once she got out of here?

"I suppose," she muttered finally. "But..."

"Seriously, why is it so hard to believe Thane is who he says he is, and chances are, the war really is over?" Garrus asked gently, rubbing a talon across the back of her fingers, just like he used to after Thane died.

"Because the Reapers are too big a threat..."

"Never mind the Reapers, Hackett's got that covered. I mean Thane. Is it because, maybe, your biggest wish, apart from kicking the Reapers in their collective asses, was Thane hadn't died? And with you not being a big believer in impossible wishes coming true, you're having trouble accepting some genie decided to grant both of yours? Maybe you can't help wondering how come you got all the luck, when so many have lost so much?"

"Well, I guess, that did cross my mind a couple of times, but..."

"Yeah, me to." Garrus nodded. At her questioning look he sighed, explaining, "You died for two years, remember? I… I suppose I've never really told you this, not in so many words, but, I lost my best friend, Shepard. I suppose I fell apart and, ah, you know what happened, with Sidonis, losing my men like that. You saw the mess I got myself into." He chuckled darkly, shaking his head, "There I was, probably about to die, wondering if there was an afterlife, and if you'd be there to kick my butt, but really, really wishing, you hadn't died, for the billionth time, while I looked down my scope shooting merc after merc... and just when I needed you the most, there you were! Right in my scope, running across that damn bridge. Unbelievable! I actually thought I had finally cracked up. In fact, you remember I shot a couple of concussive shots against your shields, just to make it look good, right?"

"Hell yeah, I nearly kicked your ass for that!" Shepard grinned.

"It could have been a lot worse," he muttered darkly, "nearly was. I didn't know if it was a merc trick. Thought maybe they had finally got some brains or something. Or you were just an illusion. Either way, I nearly disbelieved my own eyes to the point I, well, I squeezed the trigger, Shepard. Right at your head. Oh I could have done some damage with that shot, maybe even killed you with a couple more." Garrus shook his head, his shoulders hitched in a sharp sigh. "I nudged my rifle away at the last second. I know you felt the shot whizzing past your head; I saw your reaction. It's a good thing I gave you a chance, isn't it?"

Shepard nodded slowly, his shocking confession understood, and his message received loud and clear. She wasn't sure what to say, and squeezed his hand. "I suppose I've never done happily-ever-after, Garrus. First my parents, then watching everyone die on Akuze, then everyone we lost chasing Saren... I still don't know how we all came back from the Collector base. My arrest, then loosing Thane, and Legion, and all that crap having to pretend we had released the Genophage cure, the Reapers... God dammit it just doesn't stop!"

"Hmm, exactly, and don't forget Kaiden, the only other man you have ever loved..."

"Oh, come on, that's trivial compared to the rest."

"I beg to disagree, Shepard. It's all part of this. Another one of the losses that have stacked up in your life. Look, the way I see it, assuming I'm understanding your theory properly, is one of two things will happen if you accept that drell back into your life. Either you will be blissfully happy together, and he will finally stop damn well moping around. Or, you'll have a few seconds of happiness, before turning into a slavering husk or something. In which case, I'll shoot you myself!"

Again Shepard tried and failed not to laugh.

"And maybe," Garrus looked down at their hands, "you could, perhaps, have a chat with a doctor?"

"You mean a shrink?"

"Yes," he nodded, vigorously, "I mean a shrink."

"Well," she sighed, "If my best friend thinks I'm bonkers..."

"Oh, I've always thought that," he gave her hand a squeeze before letting go, to sit back. "It's part of your charm."

"Ha, maybe less so to Thane."

"Oh, good, it's back to Thane now instead of 'that drell'," Garrus grinned. Before she could reply, he continued, "but," he said looking at her seriously, "If you want Thane in your life, and I damn well know you would if you didn't think he was some kind of Reaper puppet, you're going to have to take that risk, and trust him. If you can't, then for both your sakes, let him go."

"But the Reapers..."

"Hackett knows what he's doing, you know that. It's not like last time, Shepard, just go ask Avina. The council can hardly hide that information anymore... What's so funny?"

Shepard had been chuckling at the mention of Avina, and to answer his question, she said, "Oooh, Reapers!"

"Sorry!?"

Now she really had grown two heads. "Sorry," she giggled, "it was just after we picked Kasumi up. I was talking to Avina, and getting really annoyed because she was telling me there was no record of any Reaper's, just Saren and his geth. Well, Kasumi made some comment, about how they were really selling 'the geth did it message.' She said, 'you can't even say Reapers without inciting a panic', something like that. Ask Thane, he'll remember. Anyway, Kasumi finished in this spooky voice saying 'Ooh Reapers!'" Shepard impersonated Kasumi's voice quite well, she thought. "I guess you had to be there."

Garrus laughed, "Actually, I can imagine her saying that."

They fell silent for a few moments before Garrus asked, "Did you by any chance get some grapes from Aria T'Loak?"

"Did I... What?" Now Garrus had grown the extra head.

He shook his head, "Never mind. Hey, you know Kelly is a shrink. I know you don't like that fellow who keeps popping in on you, maybe you could speak to her - friendly face and all that?"

"Hmm, maybe. Depends if she still has a crush on me or not."

"She what? Really?"

Ignoring his question, Shepard said, "I think I'll definitely have a word with Miranda. I've been trying to pump her for more information about indoctrination, indirectly, for ages, but she either asks me why I'm so interested, or gives me general answers."

"You still think Thane isn't, er, Thane?"

She puffed out a sigh, "Honestly, Garrus, I'm not sure what to think anymore. I've lived with this in my head for so long, then you come along and poke a million holes in everything I thought. Now I just feel… weird."

"Weird?"

"Ok, like a crazy person."

"Well, not much we can do about that, I'm afraid," he grinned. "Hopeless case if you asked me." Garrus chuckled at the face Shepard pulled, before looking at her seriously. "Look, nothing wrong with making sure but, now what's that Human saying? Something about throwing out all your eggs in one bucket?"

Laughing she told him, "Close enough."

"Just promise me you're not going to go clanking off to steal the nearest shuttle, huh?"

"Clanking?"

"Well," he waved a hand, "whatever sound your crutches make."

"I do not clank!" She insisted with a roll of her eyes. After a pause she told him, "Maybe your right, Garrus. Maybe I do need to stop fighting this damn war, and accept it's over - probably over anyway."

"And Thane?"

She looked down at the floor. "Hell. For weeks I've been swinging from feeling totally suspicious of him, to hoping like hell I'm wrong. I haven't stopped loving him. It's been tearing me apart. I've never really been sure what to do. Now, one conversation with you and, well, I kinda think the evidence suggesting he's not Thane, is a bit... flimsier than I first thought."

"A bit?"

"Oh, hell," she rubbed her hands on her face, talking through them to ask, "Am I really this messed up Garrus? That I'm seeing Reaper conspiracies where maybe there aren't any?"

"Y'know, I was back on the Normandy for days, before I finally accepted you were really you."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah. Your death was hard Shepard. Maybe not as hard as when you lost Thane, or thought you had, you know what I mean. But me, getting my best friend back? Well, that was just a bit too good to be true."

"That's why you were able to carry me through Thane's death so, brilliantly. You understood, more than I realised." She looked at her friend, "Oh Garrus..."

"Now don't go all mushy on me Shepard," he complained with an embarrassed grin. "Look, go see the damn drell would you? Get him to quit his pining before I slap him or something."

Shepard's loud laughter made her cover her mouth, looking around to make sure she hadn't annoyed anyone, but this area was pretty quiet at this time, with only the odd doctor or patient passing through.

"You've been a good friend to him, Garrus."

"Oh I dunno. I suppose he's needed one through all this, me too, as a matter of fact, and he hasn't let me down," he looked at her pointedly. "Anyway, it seems to me you're both due for a big dose of luck all to yourselves. Hell, you've both earned it if you ask me."

"Honestly, if he is Thane, and as much as it scares me to admit, I think maybe he might be after all, he deserves more than the crazy lady."

"Oh believe me," Garrus smirked, "we all do."

Laughing, she frowned at him, "Ouch!"

"Oh no, no ouch. I've had enough ouch for one lifetime," he rubbed his scars.

Shepard absently wondered why he always managed to damage the same side of his face, before saying, "Yeah that's for sure. I'm guessing there's not much work around for a soldier these days?"

"Hmm, I don't know, someone is bound to do something stupid enough, eventually, and draw the attention of the first human Spectre."

Shepard thought of the second human Spectre. Kaidan had made it to Spectre status only a few months before the end of the war, and he was still MIA.

"Well, let's hope they will at least wait until I'm off these damn crutches."

"Yes, they are kind of killing the whole Spectre image, I have to say." After a pause Garrus asked, "Look, are we done sorting out your love life now? You know I'm not very good at this kind of thing."

She laughed, placing a hand on his oddly shaped knee, "Oh Garrus, you always say that. But then you go ahead and sort my life out anyway."

"I, uh, really?"

"Oh, more than you know. You've always helped me make sense of stuff, or look at things from another angle. Over the years you have become my rock, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

"Oh my. I had no idea you were even listening to me," he said in mock surprise.

She shook her head, "Ok, I give up, that's the last time I'm nice to you."

"Good, because I was starting to feel way out of my comfort zone there for a second," he grinned.

"Just do me a favour, huh? Don't tell anyone about the escape attempt in my PJ's."

"Ok," he stood. "Maybe I'll be able to use it as leverage sometime." Before she could complain, he said, "My shift starts soon, so go see the damn drell, will you? I'll come see you tomorrow. Assuming you're not halfway to the relay in a stolen shuttle, or something."

As he turned to go, she said, "I've been meaning to ask, how have you been coping at C-Sec, what with the lack of calibrating n'all?" He grinned at her giggling, and shook his head. As he turned to go she added, "Hey Vakarian. Thanks!"

"Yeah, yeah," he sloped towards the ward exit, "I love you too Shepard."

"Ooh you used the 'L' word!" She teased. "I'm gonna tell people!" But he was gone.

Shepard sat for a while, thinking about everything her wise friend had said. All those weeks she had spent playing along with what she had assumed to be a charade, never getting used to the almost daily heartbreak at keeping Thane at arm's length, convinced the war wasn't over. Feeling, yet again, only she knew the truth. Now, after just one conversation with Garrus, she was, if slightly begrudgingly, beginning to see everything around her was more than likely real, not a Reaper creation after all. Even Thane.

_Oh god, could I really have had him back all this time, and been too messed up to realise it?_

In some ways she felt unable to kick herself. Partly because she was still wary, but mostly because of what she went through on that Collector ship, when she thought she was on the Citadel with Anderson. She remembered being on the Citadel still, but also, underneath this, the memory of what really happened was coming back, in non linear bits and pieces. It would take a long time to fully understand it all. She remembered seeing Anderson as clearly as she could see the Illusive Man, but she could also remember seeing the Admiral's avatar too. It was difficult to handle, and the one person who might be able to help with these confusing memories, was the man she had rejected as an impossible dream. An hour ago, Thane terrified her. Now she was numb with the shock of his survival, something she should have felt months ago. Garrus had been right, she wasn't used to having good things happen in her life for no reason, and she still struggled with the growing joy of having Thane back. Joy was not a familiar emotion to her. Again, that was probably something Thane could understand more than most. Not that she was unhappy in her life. She had always felt blessed; her life had been filled with many happy times. But joy? That had always been fleeting.

Maybe she was right after all, and by this time tomorrow she would become some kind of husk, a tool for the Reapers. Or maybe Garrus was right, and she would live happily ever after, or at least until the next shit-storm with her name on it came blowing through. Either way, the mass relay was in hand, and she was honestly sick and tired of living - no, existing, like this.

It was time to roll the dice against the odds again.

Before she went back to her room, there was one more person, well, sort of person, Shepard needed to have a word with. So once again, she swung herself out of her ward, and made her way into the patient lounge, this time her head held up, and even smiling at a couple of people as she passed by.

As soon as she stopped in front of the Avina avatar it said, "Welcome back Commander Shepard. How may I be of assistance?"

"Tell me about the," she couldn't help mimicking Kasumi's spooky voice, "Reapers."

"The Reapers were a sentient machine race, who's only purpose was to purge the galaxy of all advanced life forms, once every fifty thousand years. However, this cycle continues due to the fact the Reapers were destroyed by a weapon of Prothean design called, the Crucible. After the galactic races stood together against the Reaper invasion..."

Shepard didn't hear anymore, already walking away, a slight shake of her head over Avina being programmed to speak about the Reapers firmly in the past tense, but with a smile on her face. She made her way back to her room, and maybe, hopefully, back to the man she loved, and thought lost forever. Whatever happened next, she could at least stop fighting, and finally rest.

_Seems like forever since I just sat down._

As Thane opened his eyes, his first thought went to his empty hand. His head snapped up and he stood, in one fluid movement, as he took in Shepard's empty bed.

"Siha?" His whisper was barely audible. He was about to push the bed away, so he could reach the door a fraction sooner. Instead his body stiffened, suddenly feeling the presence behind him. All this had occurred in seconds, but he berated his senses for still being so slow. He whirled around ready for anything and everything, apart from what he actually saw.

Shepard, arms crossed in front of her, relaxing a shoulder against the window, the other exposed by the wide neck of her top drooping half way to her elbow. Her arm was thinner than it used to be, she had lost so much muscle mass over the last few months. Tearing his eyes away from the soft pink skin he so missed caressing, he noticed another change. Her features reminded Thane of the way she used to look at him, as if what she saw pleased her, though there was more tension to her features. The suspicion was still there, only it had been softened by the new look in her eyes, or rather, an old look he hadn't seen in such a long time and thought he never would again. She smiled too, only slightly, but it was warm, it even reached her eyes.

Taking a moment to relax his muscles, and allow his heart to slow, though it didn't quite go back to its normal resting rhythm, Thane slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. "Shepard?" He said in greeting, unsure what else to say.

She shook her head sadly, looking down at the floor. This unexpected response to her name confused him. She bit her bottom lip briefly, usually a prelude to an apology. Thane blinked, unsure what was happening, and then it struck him. Still unsure, Thane shifted on the bed slightly, and took the risk before he lost his nerve.

"Siha?"

She took a breath, and nodded. His heart burst, and he moved to stand and go to her, but her fingers splayed out briefly to stop him. As impatient as he was to hold her, Thane was also just as desperate not to spook the woman, so he calmly forced himself to be patient, placing his hands on his thighs to wait, while she studied the floor, and worked out what she wanted to say. A couple of times she opened her mouth, only to close it again with a small shake of her head. Or she drew in a breath to speak, before letting it out in a sigh and staying silent.

Unable to watch her struggle any longer, Thane spoke first. As gently and softly as he could he told her, "I have waited for you for so long."

"Oh god I know," she breathed, brushing away sudden tears with her palms, before finally lifting her eyes to him.

After studying him a moment, she carefully placed her damaged foot in front of her, and he reached out to offer his hand. She waved it away, stepping towards him slowly, almost timidly, a real rarity, and for a moment he recalled those first words she ever spoke to him.

_"I was hoping to talk to you."_

She stopped to stand between his knees, so close, he could so easily curl his arms around her. He resisted the urge, giving her all the time she needed, as she scrutinised his face. Thane wasn't sure she would, but finally she took the last step, closing the gap between them. She almost fell on him, as he scooped her into his embrace, his arms around her waist, hers around his shoulders, burying her head into his neck, as she sat on one of his thighs. Finally, _finally _he was holding her again, for the first time in over a year. Her slimmer frame shocked him, but it didn't matter, she was growing stronger every day. At that moment nothing mattered except he had his Siha back. Against the odds, she had survived, she lived, but more than that, another miracle, she was _in his arms!_

"I'm so sorry," she gasped.

Her muscles trembled slightly, and for a few moments he couldn't speak, too overwhelmed as he was by his emotions, revelling in her touch, and shocked by her sudden desire to be so close to him. To again become his Siha, at last. He was frightened she may just as suddenly reject him. Slowly, reluctantly, he pulled a hand away from her, to wipe his cheeks, and gently told her, "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"Oh," she sighed, "I think I do."

Her breath against his neck made him shiver, and he cautiously stroked his fingers through her hair, longer than he had ever seen it, soothing her. They remained silent. Thane was just happy to stay at her side for as long as she would grant him the privilege.

When she spoke again it was halting, and for many minutes. She told him things which shocked and upset him, not because she had seriously entertained the idea Thane wasn't who he said he was, but because she had been going through so much more pain and distress, all these weeks, than he had realised.

When she finished speaking, he kissed her hair. The touch of it against his face, the smell, so perfectly remembered, yet his heart hammered more now than anytime during those hours he had given to memory.

"I am so sorry, Siha." Oh it felt so good to be able to call her this name again. "If I had known my presence with you caused you so much pain I..."

"I know." She looked into his eyes, her cheeks still damp.

"Siha, I vowed I would not leave your side, and I meant it. My time is no longer short, but it is still yours to take."

Shepard buried her head in his neck, and held him tightly. "I still can't believe you're really here."

He held his Siha for a few more moments, before gently pulling away from her, just enough so that she could see the sincerity in his face. "For as long as you will have me, I will stay by your side. I am not going anywhere. That I can promise you. I will do whatever it takes to reassure you, I am real, and not a threat to you."

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. I've been a bit slow on the uptake but, I think I'm finally beginning to get that now. Although," she sat up, a small groan at the aching muscles across her shoulders, "Thane," she fixed him with a serious look, "you must have a bladder the size of the Citadel. I've been asleep for hours, then spoke to Garrus for ages, and we've been chatting for some time."

Thane laughed, "I won't tell you how the hanar trained us for that."

"Really?" Her eyes widened before realising he was joking. "Oh. See, this is exactly why I got to thinking you weren't the real deal. The Thane I knew wasn't exactly a stand up comedian."

"Hmm. Well, the Thane you know now, has much to be cheerful about. Especially now."

She smiled, which turned to a smirk as she said, "Even so, you're as bad as Mordin with the dry humour."

It took him a second. "Ah yes. Something about you getting a mild rash and a sense of euphoria."

"Well," she grinned, "he was right about the euphoria bit, though I don't think that's quite what he meant."

Thane half closed his outer eyelids, and Shepard looked at the door, before shoving her knuckles in her mouth and biting down hard.

"Perhaps," he said gently, still wary she may reject him again, "one step at a time. Time is now one luxury we both have."

"Oh god," she threw her arms around his neck again and squeezed, "assuming I'm not a slavering husk tomorrow, I'm gonna give Garrus such a big kiss, it'll take him weeks to get over the embarrassment! Actually," she looked at Thane, "you too." She kissed him softly.

Thane sagged as his lips melted into hers. Though the kiss was lingering, it was too brief. As she stood her fatigue was evident, and Thane moved to lift the covers so she could crawl back into bed.

"I won't sleep," she told him, "just need a rest before getting something to eat. You hungry?"

Thane considered, then nodded as he pulled the covers over her. "Perhaps I can... buy you lunch?"

"You're on!" She grinned, settling back into her pillows with a sigh. She looked more relaxed than Thane had ever seen her. "He's been a good friend to you hasn't he? Garrus."

Thane smiled, settling onto the bed beside her, her hand in both of his, "Oh yes, one of the best. You chose well, Siha."

"It's good to hear that, again."

"As good as it is to say it, again, I hope, because you will be hearing it for the rest of your life. Please make sure it's a long one."

"Yeah, I will if you will, pal!"

He sighed, contented. "I am sorry I fell into such a deep sleep. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Hell no, you needed it. Anyway, it was nice to finally be able to watch you sleep. Or, at least, it was nice when I came back, uh, you know what I mean."

He smiled, "Even so, my skills are still a little, slower than usual."

"Oh, please. Seriously? Go tell it to someone who can walk without crutches!"

"Hmm, a fair point."

"Hey, didn't Garrus nearly punch your lights out once?"

Thane growled with laughter, "I don't suppose he told you my reactions aren't that slow."

"He did, actually. Although he insists it was only because he was so war weary."

"Hmm, that is no lie," Thane agreed seriously, then with a small smile, "He thought I had... faked my own death."

"Er, yeah, there's a lot of that going around." Shepard rolled her eyes.

They fell into a comfortable silence, and Thane looked out of the window at the pleasant vista of the planet, then down below into the gardens, watching the playful fountains. Finally he whispered, "Siha I..." But she had fallen asleep.

Thane lightly kissed her forehead, and settled back into his chair, taking her hand in both of his again.

"...Love you," he finished.


	8. Chapter 8

21

Chapter 8.

_No Sex, I Just Cleaned the Bar._

"Hi babe, what'll it be?" asked the asari in that unforgettable smoky voice. "Sorry, no sex. I just cleaned the bar."

Shepard's face lit up, "Oh, hey you're..." she searched for the Matriarch's name and failed, "Liara's dad."

"Well hell if it isn't Commander Shepard! Sorry babe, didn't recognise you without all those guns sticking out your ass."

"I suppose you've never seen me without the armour," grinned Shepard.

"Nope, and the names Aethyta for those who need reminding," the asari rolled her eyes with a smile. "Don't suppose I can be offended though, considering. Heard you were in a bad way for a long time. It's nice to see you back on your feet."

"Cheers."

"So, what'll it be?"

"Oh, just a tea and, um…" Shepard looked at the menu, "Are the asari spiced noodles really hot?"

"No babe, they're for the lightweights."

"In that case I'll have a bowl."

"Hah! Didn't have you down as a pussy." Matriarch Aethyta grinned, leaving Shepard to sit on a stool while she approached the krogan in the kitchen.

Another asari approached with a smile, "Shepard."

"Hi Liara, what you having?"

Liara ordered the same and the Matriarch brought their teas. "It's on the house."

"You don't have to do that, father," Liara argued.

"Ah please. Least I can do for a couple of war heroes."

Liara blushed a deeper blue, "Oh, Goddess, don't start that again!"

"Hey, can't a father be proud of her kid? Wasn't for you lot we'd be all Reaper food by now."

"The Reapers weren't going to _eat_ us, father!"

"Yeah, nothing's ever that simple, is it babe? So, how's tricks then, Commander? Someone tells me you're all loved up these days." The Matriarch grinned as Liara huffed and brought a hand to her forehead for a moment.

Shepard teased, "You been talking about me, Liara?"

"Oh hell, you're all I've heard about for months, babe."

"That's not true!" Liara protested with a laugh. Turning to Shepard, she said, "Shall we get a table?"

Aethyta grinned, "Yeah, go on, scram. You're making my bar look untidy. I'll bring your food over."

"So," said Shepard once they were settled at a table, "looks like your getting on well with your dad, now."

"Yes, I suppose. She's a bit… coarse... for my tastes, but she was quite supportive when you were in the hospital. It was Kolyat who encouraged me to try and have a relationship with Aethyta."

"Kolyat?"

"Yes. I suppose you could say we have become… friends. I see him most days at C-Sec, and with our connection to Thane," Liara waved a hand, palm up, in a small shrug, "perhaps it was inevitable. Anyway, he's a nice boy. You should get to know him better."

Shepard nodded, "Yeah, I'd like to. Haven't really had a chance, but Thane says he's forgiven me now."

"Forgiven..? Oh," Liara grinned, "for hitting him. Yes, indeed. I think he would like to get to know you, but he's a little shy. You'll have to make the first move."

Shepard smiled, saying, "It's funny, last time we sat here together, before the war, it was me telling you to get to know someone." She eyed the Matriarch who was on her way over with their noodles."

"Oh, Goddess, I think your right! How strange."

"Here you go, guys," Aethyta dumped the tray in the middle of the table, before leaning a hand on the back of Liara's chair. Looking down at her daughter, the Matriarch said, "So, Little Wing," this made Liara quietly roll her eyes at Shepard. "You punched out any reporters lately?"

"Father!"

"Sorry, what?" Shepard asked. "Liara?"

"She didn't tell you? Seriously?" Aethyta grinned.

"Oh it was months ago now," Liara explained. "When you were transported to the hospital, Shepard, a reporter got in our way and wouldn't take the hint," she shrugged.

"Pity I wasn't there. Heard she knocked the damn woman clean off her feet. Hell, those reporters are about as useful as tits on a hanar."

"Wow," Shepard swallowed, looking at her old friend with a grin. "Please tell me it was that Al-Jilani woman?"

Liara nodded with a giggle.

"Now, why am I not surprised?"She grinned.

"Yeah," laughed the Matriarch. "Sounds to me like she went all blood-rage on the woman's ass."

"Hmm," Shepard smirked. "Wonder what else I missed while I was sleeping?"

"Nothing," insisted Liara. "It's been pleasantly quiet around here. At least it was, until you woke up Shepard," she teased.

"Hey!"

Aethyta threw her head back in a laugh, "Hell, this place could do with a shake up from time to time. It's been boring as hell around here. Anyway, enjoy the chow, girls."

Once out of earshot, Shepard asked, "Is your father still keeping tabs on you for the asari government?"

"No. Even if we weren't cut off from Thessia, she told me she's retiring from all that. I'm pretty sure I'll be the least of their worries, anyway."

Shepard nodded and they ate silently for a moment. "These noodles are good."

Liara agreed with a nod before Shepard asked, "So, you think I should go see Kolyat?"

"Definitely, ah, assuming you and Thane are, er, staying together?"

Shuffling uncomfortably in her seat for a moment, Shepard said, "Can't say I know why he's forgiven me for treating him like crap, but it's been, er, a month or so now and I've no turned into a husk, so I'm guessing everything is working out. I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop, though."

Liara paused, a fork full of noodles half way to her mouth, "You're waiting for what?"

"Oh, er, I'm waiting for it to go horribly wrong."

"You couldn't just say that?" Liara grinned.

"After all this time you've known me, and you still can't keep up with the humanisms."

"It's not my fault. There's just too many! Anyway, nothing is going to go horribly wrong, Shepard. There were no Reapers on the other side of the relay were there?"

"No, but it's only been a few days since we got through. I'm not ready to hold my breath just yet."

"Fair enough," Liara agreed, "but you and Thane have been getting along well these last few weeks. Kolyat tells me Thane is walking around like he's won the batarian lottery."

"The batarian's have a lottery?"

"Apparently so, and your avoiding my point." Liara grinned. "In fact, you're as bad as Garrus when it comes to talking about your love life."

"Garrus doesn't have a love life, does he?"

"Not as far as I know. Again, avoiding the point."

With feigned exasperation, Shepard said, "Ok, and your point is?"

"Thane!" Liara said, pointedly. "You and Thane. You seem to be getting along better now. You're more relaxed, Shepard, and, well, like I said, Thane is on cloud seven."

"Nine," Shepard laughed.

"Oh, is it? Oh!"Liara shook her head.

"So," Shepard smirked, "you want details, huh?"

"Goddess, no! Not those details, anyway!"

"Good because there aren't any."

"What? You mean you haven't..." Liara let the question hang.

"Not yet. We figured a hospital bed wasn't the right place for Thane to make a permanent memory of our first time. Well, second first time," Shepard waved a fork. "You know what I mean. Plus he wanted to give me time to, I dunno, work through my demons, I guess, until there were no more doubts in my mind. And with plenty of time on our side now..." she smiled at Liara.

"And have you? Worked through your demons?"

Shepard considered this, "Yeah, I think so, mostly anyway. I think I must have 'cos to be honest, the waiting is killing me!"

"Waiting?"

"To have Thane to myself, all night..?"

"Oh," Liara blushed again, "then you're happy?"

"Honestly? I'm ecstatic. I'm still a bit worried something is going to come along and pull the rug out from under my feet, er..." she looked at her friend.

"It's ok, I know that one."

With a nod Shepard continued, "but, hell Liara, you know how I feel about him. I love him to bits. I'd like to say I can't imagine a day without him, but unfortunately, that's not true. Suffice it to say, I'd leave the Alliance and go live in the desert with him if that's what it takes to keep him healthy."

"Goddess, I can't imagine you giving up space."

"Me either. Fortunately, I won't have to, at least, not for a long time, yet. Actually, if Hackett doesn't give me something to do soon I'm gonna steal a ship and send myself on a mission!"

"They don't discharge you for another week, Shepard." Liara pushed her empty bowl away. "Oh, that's really filled me up."

"Liara, I'm crawling the damn walls in that hospital!"

"Really? But you seem so calm," the asari grinned. "I suppose that's what love does to a person."

"Hey, I'm still eating, don't make me wanna throw up, Little Wing!" Shepard grinned. Before Liara could protest the use of her childhood nickname, Shepard dropped her fork into the bowl and sat back with a sigh, "Your right, that was filling. Tasty though."

"Better finish your tea, Shepard. We'll have to go soon."

"Already?" Shepard looked at the time on her omni-tool. "We still have twenty minutes, yet."

"No offence, Shepard, but as you refuse to use your crutches, anymore, it will take us that long to walk back."

"Hey! I'm not that slow," she laughed, but took the hint and finished her tea as Liara gathered the utensils back onto the tray. Picking it up she stood and Shepard followed her back to the bar.

"Aww, you didn't have to do that, babe," the Matriarch said, taking the tray, "unless you're after a job or something?"

"Er, I think I'll pass, dad."

"Awesome noodles," grinned Shepard. "Thanks."

"Yeah well, the husband is a good cook," Aethyta thumbed at the krogan behind her, scoffing, "You don't think I married him for his good looks do you?"

"Wait... You're married? To a krogan?" Shepard looked at the younger asari, "Hell, Liara, for an information broker you've sure been tight lipped."

As Liara covered her face with a hand, briefly, the Matriarch continued, "Yeah never thought I'd bother with all that crap, again, especially not after my parents. But hell, I figured why not," she shrugged.

"Well, congratulations..?"Shepard offered slowly.

"Thanks, babe. So you guys off to have fun while I'm stuck here working my damn ass off huh?"

"We have a meeting," was all Liara told her father, "but I'll see you soon, dad."

"Yup, catch you later, kid, Commander. Hey, that drell of yours..."

"Thane?"

"That's the one. Nice ass."

"Father!"

"Seen him here a couple of times with his boy," continued Aethyta, ignoring her daughters exasperation. "Got one of the staff to drop something once, so he would pick it up. Whoowhee niiice..." she flapped a hand under her chin as if she was suddenly hot.

"You didn't!?" Liara was mortified, but Shepard laughed.

"Yup," said the Matriarch, "Hell, if I wasn't a married woman you'd have some serious competition," she teased with a wink.

Liara covered her face with both hands, and slowly shook her head.

The first thing Shepard noticed, when she entered her room, was Thane sitting in a chair next to Jacob, holding Little Shep. "It appears," Thane said, "I make her sleepy."

"Ah, she's been a grouch all day," Jacob grinned. "Two seconds in Thane's arms and she's gone."

"Nah," argued Jack from her reclined position on Shepard's bed, "he probably just bored her so much, she figured sleep was a blessing."

Garrus and Zaeed had taken up a position on either side of the chairs, leaning against the window like bookends. Opposite them were two screens, one showed Kasumi's face, the other a lab, with occasional flashes of Mordin as he passed by while he worked. Liara hesitated at the only other empty seat by the door, but Shepard shoved one of Jack's feet aside, and perched next to it on the edge of her bed.

From Mordin's screen they heard humming, which quickly turned into, "I am the very model of a Scientist salarian..."

His song was cut short, and his expectant face appeared, when a distinctive voice said, "Two things," Miranda announced before the door closed behind her. She carried a handful of pads, enough to probably drop for a normal human, but she deftly handed them all out, until she was left with just one, which she didn't refer to. "None of us are indoctrinated, and Sere Krios," she gave Thane a small nod, "is indeed the man we have come to admire and love."

Thane flushed slightly at the compliment, but he coolly nodded his thanks. The teams cheer quickly subsided to a giggly coo, as the noise disturbed the six month old who jumped, blinked at Thane, and was swiftly passed back to her father.

"Thanks," Shepard told them all, swinging her legs nervously, "I'm sorry I put you guys through all this. Especially Thane."

"It was my wish," he answered simply.

At Miranda's behest they has all endured physicals, and psychological

evaluations. Thane however, had asked for every identity check possible to be run on him, going as far as allowing Commander Bailey to dig into his past, over many days, before subjecting him to a long and thorough interrogation. It had sometimes been painful, the laying bare of so many skeletons, but Thane was determined to prove himself to his Siha, and Bailey was very discreet.

In fact Bailey's only public comment was, "Well, if he's not Thane, I'll eat my uniform."

"No, Commander," Miranda put a hand on her hip, "you were right to bring this up."

"Agreed," Mordin added, "complacency, not good."

Kasumi nodded. "Plus, the Charon relay is fixed, and we've made it into the Arcturus System, and the Exodus Cluster, and... no Reapers!"

"That's it!" Shepard pointed to Kasumi's screen, but looked at Garrus, "That's the spooky voice!"

"I wouldn't say we got complacent," Miranda told Mordin, "But we should have been more on our guard, I reckon."

"Oh chill out, Cheerleader," Jack grumbled. "You just said it yourself, we're ok, not gonna turn into creepy husks or nothin'. So, let's just enjoy some complacency already!" At the laughter, Jack lifted her head, "What?" She scowled but lay back down with a grin.

"Never mind complacency," Zaeed muttered, "I vote we have a bloody party!"

"I'll drink to that," Garrus agreed.

Jacob harrumphed, "Not me. You think war is hard? You try looking after a baby. I won't be partying for a while, yet." Looking down at his daughter, who was watching him intently, he adopted a high voice to say, "No, I won't, will I? Oh no, no, daddy won't be out drinking for aaaages yet will he? Oh no..." Jacob stopped, realising all eyes were on him, the whole team grinning.

Even Jack, who moaned, "Oh, not with the coochy coo crap, again. I feel sick! Hell, Jacob, you're nearly as much fun as Thane was when he had that stick up his ass!"

Thane quipped, "I simply felt Garrus might enjoy taking a break from that stick."

Everyone laughed, Jack howled. It wasn't the funniest thing a person could say, but coming from the stoic drell, it was hilarious to their ears.

Unable to help herself Shepard jumped off the bed and settled herself on Thane's lap. "I think a get together would be nice. Nothing too wild though."

"Oh," Garrus said, "you'd better not come then Shepard."

With a shake of her head and a smile she said, "Actually, I was thinking we might want to save the celebrations until after Mordin and Kasumi have returned."

"Could be a while there, Shep. Once we've fixed this relay we'll be off to the next."

Shepard nodded. "Plus, we're still missing some of the team and my ship." Her words sobered everyone. "However, I'm due to get out of here this Friday, how about we have a gathering at Thane's on Saturday?" She flushed slightly when she noticed his deliberate, half-lidded look and realised he was anticipating being alone with her, as much as she with him.

Thane had just moved to a larger place and put the items Shepard had never collected from him around the apartment, so she would feel at home as soon as she arrived.

As the group began to leave, Thane asked Shepard, "How do you feel now?"

"Better," she smiled, squeezing his arm. "I think I'd already gotten over the worst of my, er, paranoia. But getting the confirmation that's all it was, I guess it helps. I'm glad to see it done with. It feels like a chapter has closed and I..." she smiled, "we, can move on."

Thane nodded, a wide grin on his face.

Before the vid screens went blank, Shepard made Kasumi and Mordin promise to send her updates on their findings, as they progressed through the relays. She was sad it would likely be many months before she saw the two of them again.

"So," said Garrus, hovering by the door, "what now?"

Neither Thane nor Shepard could really answer that, while she waited on the Alliance to post her somewhere. No one could predict just how soon that posting would come.

"We found the Normandy."

Hackett's announcement hit Shepard like a brick, and she pulled back in her seat, staring at the Admirals large image in C-Sec's conference room. It was so unexpected, the whole team froze either side of her, even Jack didn't swear.

"Details are on the pads in front of you. It's distress beacon is on a loop and so far we haven't been able to raise them on comms, but the breathable atmosphere, and decent temperatures of the planet they are on, just put their odds of survival up." He smiled gently.

"How'd they get all the way out there?" Garrus pondered to no one in particular.

"Hopefully, you'll be able to ask them when you get out there," informed the Admiral, not taking his eyes off Shepard. "Kasumi Goto and Professor Solus have requested permission to rendezvous with you on the other side of the relay, and join you on this mission. Assuming you want it, Commander?"

_Mission! There's a mission?_

"Yes sir!" Shepard had to work hard at not bouncing in her seat, she was so excited.

The whole team was shuffling in excitement, apart from Thane, who radiated a stoic concern.

"I thought you would want to be the salvage, hopefully rescue, team. Do you think you're ready, Commander Shepard?"

_Hell yeah! With bells on._

She had to stifle a giggle when an image of Thane wearing Kasumi's bells, and a none-too-pleased look on his face, popped into her head. Before she could shout an enthusiastic 'sir yes sir' Miranda piped up. "I believe the Commander is well enough."

"I am," she agreed quickly, shooting Miranda a grateful smile.

"In that case," Hackett told her, "you are officially in temporary command of the SSV Ain Jalut for the duration of this mission."

"The AJ? How did you talk Major Kelso into letting me have command of her ship?"

Hackett grinned, "Don't ask. Let's just say she owed me a favour, and now I owe her, in triplicate. Suffice it to say, if you don't return her ship in one piece, she will personally make sure you never fly again."

"I wouldn't give her the satisfaction, sir," Shepard rolled her eyes. More seriously she added, "You can tell her, I'll have the AJ back safe and sound, sir."

Hackett nodded. "Also Sarah Williams has requested permission to act as your Yeoman. Can I assume this is also acceptable?"

Shepard caught Garrus' smile out of the corner of her eye, "Yes Admiral, I'd very much like to meet her."

_While conscious._

"A few of the AJ's crew are staying aboard, but most will be on extended leave. Therefore, we're plugging the gaps with a mixture of Alliance and Turian Hierarchy officers. I assume that won't be a problem, Commander."

Shepard raised an eyebrow, "Not to me, but how does the Major feel about turian's aboard her ship?"

"Oh, about the same way she feels about you and your team getting free run of the place," Hackett's eyes crinkled into a smile. "There will be a full brief tomorrow at oh-six hundred, where you will be able to patch through to Captain Idella of the science vessel. They picked up the Normandy's distress signal, less than an hour ago. Any updates we get will be forwarded to you, Commander."

"Thank you, sir." Shepard looked left and right at her team, all of them eager to get going, except Jacob, who had already made it clear his spacer days were over. He simply looked pleased at the news. Turning back to the vid screen, she asked, "Anything else Admiral?" Ready to stand as soon as he dismissed them.

"Yes, there is one more thing. I'm sorry I can't do this is person Commander," he sighed, working his omni-tool, "but this is long overdue." Almost instantly, Shepard's omni-tool buzzed, and before she could react Hackett snapped, "Commander Shepard..."

He was all business, and she automatically stood to attention, "Sir."

The Admiral softened, "You need to read that."

There was a heavy silence in the room, while she read the brief, official document. Despite her surprise, Shepard gave nothing away, lacing her hands behind her back to look at the Admiral. She could almost feel her team silently yelling _'what?'_ and suppressed a smile.

"Not exactly the ceremony you deserve," Hackett offered, "but on behalf of the Admiralty board, congratulations, Captain Shepard."

His words dismissing them were drowned out by the noisy team, who scrambled out of their seats to congratulate her. Shepard stiffly held the Admirals gaze, until he ended the vid-stream with a nod.

Amidst continuous back pats, as they left the room, Thane said, "I'm proud of you, Siha."

Half of the new Captain glowed, the other half simply chomped at the bit to get back out there, and finally discover the Normandy's fate.

"I can't believe 'bad luck Vandstone' is giving up command of the AJ for this." At the confused faces of her team, Shepard explained, "Vandstone was Major Sandra Kelso's maiden name. She earned the nickname before she was married, due to some... unfortunate incidents, which had her skirting death a few too many times."

"I take it she doesn't like turian's much?" Garrus asked.

"Oh I wouldn't worry, Garrus, I'm pretty sure she likes me even less. Let's just say our political views aren't exactly on the same page. The Major is a supporter of human supremacism, at least she was before the war. Only as a moderate, but even so, it's a bit too 'Illusive Man' for my tastes. Anyway," she grinned, "none of you will get lost on the Ain Jalut."

"Yes," Garrus said, "I remember when it was launched nine months after the SR1 went down. It was strange seeing another Normandy-class frigate."

"Yeah, I'll bet," Shepard smiled in sympathy. "It's not the Normandy, but it should be familiar enough to you all."

They all nodded, and Garrus complained, "That's all well and good, but how are we supposed to get used to calling you Captain?"

"Hell, Garrus, I don't know," she laughed. "You never could get used to using my first name, so I guess you're pretty screwed!"

"None of us could!" Liara pointed out.

"Hey," Jack grunted, "I don't even know what your first name is!"

Shepard laughed, Garrus and Thane looked away in opposite directions, Liara shrugged, Miranda smiled, and Zaeed said, "Don't look at me, kid."

The team hurried out of C-Sec, with Jack scurrying after them yelling, "Hey! Someone tell me!"

"We will be discharging you tomorrow, as planned," Doctor Michel informed softly, but sternly, eyeing Shepard from behind her desk.

"Oh, but..." The Captain almost squirmed in her seat, wondering what she could say other than, 'I don't want my first night with Thane to be on a damn ship!'

The Doctor warned, "Normally there would be no way a soldier, as badly injured as you, would be allowed back on active duty so soon, never mind the psychological implications, you aren't yet back at peak physical fitness. You should be convalescing, Commander... ah, Captain."

Shepard took Doctor Michel's look to say, 'don't push it' and as the doctor could veto her role on this mission, Shepard decided to accept the situation with a simple nod.

Michel smiled, "You have been our guest for six months, now. One more night won't kill you."

"It seems," Thane piped up, as he leaned next to the door of the doctor's office, "very little can."

Shepard loved this new Thane, less contained, more relaxed, even able to banter with others, the same way he always could with her.

Once back in her room, Shepard flopped onto the bed, eager to get to the Normandy, yet more relaxed than she could ever remember being. "Stay with me tonight, Thane?"

He eyed the hospital bed, "I am... unsure..."

"Not for that!" She giggled. "Although," she teased, "as I recall you had quite the stamina back then. I can't wait to find out what these new lungs have given you."

Thane cupped her face in his hands to kiss her deeply then spoke softly in her ear, "I cannot tell you how much I have longed to find out."

Shepard shivered, pulling him back onto the bed, sliding her knee up his inner thigh.

"Gods!" Thane shuddered, and she felt just how much he desired her right at that moment.

"I could lock the door," she mumbled into his neck, between kisses.

Thane growled low in his chest with passion and pain as he gently pulled away. "Siha, I..."

"What's wrong?" Shepard sat up with him, nothing but concern on her face. Then with a nudge, she grinned, adding, "It's either here or the cabin on the AJ, and knowing the Major, it'll be as clinical as a damn turian ship, and they're so utilitarian they make this place look homely!"

Rumbling a low laugh, Thane said, "It's not that. I am sorry but, I must go and speak with Kolyat."

"Oh hell, of course! I'm so sorry Thane, I didn't think. Yes, please go spend the evening with your son."

"Why don't you join us?"

"I, uh, no, I don't want to be a third wheel."

"A..?" Thane quickly understood, "Oh, I see."

"Yeah, I don't want to spoil a boy's night."

"You wouldn't, Siha," he laughed, as she stood to begin packing the meagre belongings she had accumulated during her time in hospital into a box. "Kolyat still wonders what you think of him."

"Really?"

"Hmm, perhaps he frets your first meeting with him is still prevalent in your mind?"

"What, when I punched him?"

Thane grinned, "Saved his ass more like."

Shepard had to pause in her packing, to laugh, "Oh Thane! You're almost talking like a marine. You said 'ass'. Brilliant!"

"I thought it might amuse you. Clearly I've been hanging around with you and Garrus too long. But perhaps on our journey I won't hide away in Life Support so much this time."

Shepard scoffed, "You won't be hiding in there at all, pal!"

"Hmm," he rumbled again, making Shepard shiver, and throw Thane a longing look.

Shaking her head she said, "Liara mentioned something about me having a chat with Kolyat. I've not really had a chance to speak to him properly, well, ever really. Maybe I could pop by and join you for a drink later?"

"I'd like that, Siha, I believe Kolyat would too."

"Anyway, I owe him a big kiss," she added.

"A... kiss?" Thane frowned, but was amused.

"Yeah, for saving your ass!"

Thane laughed, "If nothing else, I believe the look on his face would be a memory worth having."

She chuckled, but her humour was gone when she asked, "Do you think he'll be ok about this mission?"

"Come and find out," he stood, "I'll let you know where we are later, so you can join us." Wrapping his arms around his Siha, Thane kissed her deeply, not stopping even as he brought his hand up to help steady the box she nearly dropped. Then he was gone.

"I love you, Thane Krios," she sighed in his wake, "I keep meaning to tell you that..."

Another sigh and Shepard dumped the half full box next to the fish bowl and reached for a pad. Not to pass the time away this time, but to plan an important mission.

_We're coming Joker. Hang on in there, just a little bit longer. Please be ok..._

"Father!" Kolyat exclaimed brightly, "We were just talking about you." He stepped aside to reveal the young turian C-Sec officer standing inside his small apartment. He introduced her, "This is Limra."

"It's an honour to meet you, Sere Krios," she purred in a high but not unpleasant voice. Thane had to stop himself offering his hand.

When Kolyat snorted, Limra chastised, "Well it is! Your father is a hero."

Unsure what say, Thane thanked her with a tilt of his head. It felt strange, knowing his features were recognisable now. He had become accustomed to people approaching Siha when they strolled around the Citadel together, but he still struggled to accept those who wanted to shake him by the hand; now he was known as one of the 'Normandy heroes'. He had done many bad things in his life, made some terrible mistakes, with his own family especially, yet some people insisted upon treating him as a legend rather than just a man simply trained to kill.

_"An Assassin!" Jacob spat._

Yet in a world where a heroic warrior-angel would return successful from what should have been a suicide mission, only to be arrested like a common criminal, perhaps it should not feel so strange.

"My apologies for intruding," said Thane, "I can return later this evening, but Kolyat, I need to speak with you."

"It's ok, I was just leaving," Limra said. "I've an early start tomorrow. You too, Kolyat." She smiled, inciting a grumble from him.

Limra paused at the door to bid them goodnight, and just before it closed, told Thane, "Good luck with the Normandy, Sere Krios."

Thane's scales ran cold, and his crest burned as he studied his son's back while Kolyat made hot drinks.

"Son, I..."

"It's ok, father," he said gently, "I know. It's probably all over the news net by now anyway."

"I see, and you are..?"

"Fine!" Kolyat turned, rolling his eyes, to hand a mug of asari tea to Thane. "Father, you know I don't expect you to stop living your life just because, uh, you know."

Thane sat on the sofa opposite Kolyat, who stretched out on the floor with his ankles crossed, a small table between them.

"When I joined the team to enter the Collector ship, you had deep reservations."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, dad!" Kolyat chuckled, leaning back on his arms. "Anyway, this time it's not a Collector ship, but a rescue mission."

Thane spoke honestly, "There is always the potential for danger, Kolyat," he warned.

"I know. But I understand who you are better, now, and at least you will be working with a team," he paused. "And I know you'll be living your life with an Alliance Captain, so you will be faced with danger from time to time. Perhaps it's not so different from my job as a C-Sec officer, and I can see you're happy." He stretched out an arm to pick up his tea.

"Thank you, Kolyat," Thane nodded, adding with a small smile, "though I can't tell you how hard it's been, getting used to working with that rabble."

Kolyat coughed tea, "Really?"

"No son," Thane laughed, "it was a joke. Well, mostly."

"Oh, right." Kolyat leaned back on his arms to scrutinise his father.

"What is it?" Thane asked mildly.

"You're... You remind me of someone I used to know, when I was a child. Someone who would Dance Crazy with me," he said gently. Thane was crestfallen, until Kolyat added, "I like you this way, dad."

With a sigh, Thane said, "I suppose I've not been very good company since my recovery."

"You hardly had reason to be, father. The point is you are now. Shepard is obviously good for you."

Oh how wise, how mature this young man had become.

"Then, you approve?"

"Oh, you know I do! I like seeing you happy."

"And I you, my son."

"Just do me a favour, dad, wherever you go, pop back to see me from time to time huh? That's all I ask." Kolyat's voice was soft, but his eyes fixed Thane with a hard look.

"Of course!" Thane agreed forcefully. "I will _not _make the same mistake twice."

Kolyat nodded, accepting his father's sincerity. With a grin he suggested, "Dinner? There's a new place just opened not far from here. On you!"

"Why am I paying?" Thane grumbled, playfully.

"I can't afford it, not on my wages!"

"At least you have a paid job. I'm living off my savings."

As Kolyat stood to slip on his boots, he said, "Ah, but soon you'll be poking around in boxes and stuff with Shepard, and finding credits all over the place."

"The Captain does not 'poke around in boxes'," huffed Thane. Kolyat laughed, and as they left his apartment, Thane added, "Anyway, you can ask her yourself after dinner. Shepard would like to join us for a drink, if this is acceptable to you."

Kolyat admitted to feeling a little nervous over the prospect, but added he would like to get to know better the woman his father loved.

The two men strolled in a gentle pace, chatting all the way to the restaurant together.

The place was packed when Shepard arrived, but it wasn't difficult to spot the two drell sitting by a window, watching a constant stream of sky cars go by.

"Hey, guys," she beamed, waving them down before they could finish politely standing.

"Siha, you look lovely," Thane said, smiling at the dress she wore. It was similar to the leather dress he remembered seeing in her closet on the Normandy, only this was longer and made out of lighter material.

"Thanks," she smiled coyly, "figured I better look smart when you told me where you were. Didn't have you guys down as posh diners," she giggled. "Hey Kolyat, mind if I join you?"

"Not at all, please." Kolyat motioned to a chair, telling her, "Father got you a brandy."

She sat, noticing the glass and tipping her head to Thane. "Better make it my only one. This is my first drink in months! Cheers." Shepard took a sip then asked, "So how are you, Kolyat?"

"I am well, thank you. Uh, you, Captain?"

"Much better, thanks."

"Oh, and congratulations on your promotion." Kolyat extended his hand for Shepard to shake.

"Thanks," she took it with a grin, thinking Kolyat seemed as nervous about talking to her, as she was to him.

They made small talk for a while, and Kolyat seemed to relax in her company. A mood Shepard instantly undid when she said, "I'm not stopping long guys, early start tomorrow. I'd like to speak to you, Kolyat, if I may?" At his uneasy glance between her and his father, she reassured, "Oh, it's nothing heavy, no big deal or anything."

"Oh, ok," Koylat said warily, sitting back in an attempt to look relaxed.

"If you'll excuse me," Thane stood.

"Oh, you don't have to leave Thane." Shepard felt disappointed this was turning into a big deal.

"Actually, I do," Thane smiled, "but just for a moment."

Shepard didn't know if Thane was being diplomatic or not, either way she called after him, "I thought you said your bladder was as big as the Citadel?"

"Actually, that was you!" Thane called back equally loudly.

"Damn it," she muttered, "He's getting harder to wind up every day!"

Kolyat seemed to be enjoying the show, and she added, "You'll have to tell me some embarrassing stuff about him, give me some ammo to work with."

Though laughing, he was clearly thrown by this, "I'm not sure..."

Shepard cut him off with a wave of her hand, "I was just kidding, Kolyat," she grinned.

There was a moment of silence, while they sipped their drinks, and Shepard tried to get her thoughts in order. "Kolyat, um, we've never had a chance to really talk since, well, since I smacked you in the mouth," she smirked, pleased to see he also smiled. "I just wanted you to know, I'd like to get to know you properly. Maybe, y'know, we can be friends? If you would like that?" She was crestfallen at the look of surprise on Kolyat's face. Perhaps the idea had never occurred to him. Or worse, it had and he hoped Shepard had never considered it. "If you'd rather not I'll understand..."

"Oh, no," he said quickly, "I would like that. I'm... just a little surprised. I didn't think you, er, I mean, I wasn't sure if... well, after what happened I..." He trailed off with a frustrated huff, unable to explain himself.

Shepard smiled, nodding her understanding. "Hey look, I never thought bad of you. I wouldn't have asked Bailey to cut you some slack if I'd thought that, would I? He speaks very highly of you, and Thane loves you to bits..."

"Er, no," he interrupted. "I meant, uh, the secret, I kept from you." Kolyat looked down at the table.

"Oh! Hell, I'd not even thought of that. Look, I'll be honest. I wouldn't have tried to stop you saving Thane. I care for him very deeply, I hope you understand this?" Kolyat nodded, and she continued, "But yeah, telling me might have saved me some… problems. I, uh, my brain kind'a went wibble for a while."

"Wibble?" Kolyat frowned then seemed to understand. "Ah, yes, father did mention your worries." Shepard nodded, pleased to know Kolyat was willing to discuss his father's girlfriend. "Not in detail," Kolyat assured. "He didn't share the memories, but enough to know I could have prevented your… wibble."

She chuckled, "To be honest, Kolyat, as far as I'm concerned, you're my hero."

"I..." His crest flushed a deep crimson, and he was unable to reply.

"I'm just sorry I wasn't there for you, all those months you spent trying to help Thane get better. It must have been really tough."

"I appreciate that, thank you, Captain."

"Oh," she waved a hand, "just Shepard, please." She sighed, "To be honest, it should have been me. I should have done something to try to save Thane. God knows I wanted to but, at the time, I felt I didn't have the option, which was stupid. I should have had that choice, I think, anyway. I guess with me being stuck in the brig then the war... I dunno," she shrugged. "As long as you don't think Thane wasn't important enough to me or anything. He was, he is, and always will be. So, thank you, for saving his ass."

Kolyat sniggered at this, "I could say the same to you, Shepard. After all, you brought us back together." He raised his glass. Shepard did the same and they clinked them together, in a subtle, celebratory toast. After taking a sip of his drink, Kolyat said, "I have always wondered, Shepard, why did you ask Bailey to give me a chance, rather than have me arrested?"

She took a deep breath, almost Mordin style, while pondering her answer. "I suppose I could identify with you in many ways. You probably know my parents were killed, so I know what it's like to lose close family. Your circumstances were a little different, but not by much. I guess that, and seeing you with Thane, how upset you were, I figured you'd gone through enough. I got the impression giving you a second chance wouldn't be wasted," she smiled. "I didn't expect you to start hacking into Thane's medical records, but what the hell, you sure didn't waste your chance!" Shepard tipped her glass to him before draining it. "And you've become a fine C-Sec officer. I'm sure glad you were at home when C-Sec got obliterated!"

"Hmm, that was bad. But we're back on our feet now, getting there anyway."

"So, we ok then?"

"We are," Kolyat smiled. "Perhaps when you return from your mission we can, er, go out sometime? Do you dance?"

Thane returned in time to say, "Oh, Shepard's dancing is legendary." He sat, smiling at her, before turning back to his son and deadpanned, "for all the wrong reasons!"

She held her palms up, and shook her head with a huff, as Kolyat admitted, "Hmm, Jack mentioned something about that, but I wasn't sure if she was joking or not."

"Oh, I'm sure she wasn't," Thane grinned.

"Ok," Shepard grumped, "that's me done. I'm outta here!"

"You're leaving?" Thane asked, clearly disappointed.

"I will be shortly, but not because of you picking on me, Krios! Captain needs her beauty sleep, before the big mission tomorrow!" She grinned. "Hey, Kolyat, maybe now I'll have a chance to be in some more pleasant memories, instead of just being the Commander who punched you." Kolyat shook his head, but grinned along with her. "And don't you worry, young drell, I will bring your father back safe and sound, I promise."

"That I can believe Shepard, and thank you. For what it's worth, if my father won't take you dancing I will be honoured to escort you one evening."

"Hmm," she grinned, "I'm starting to wonder if I chose the wrong drell, now. Thank you, Kolyat," she beamed then turned to the chuckling Thane to throw him a mock scowl, before she stood.

Thane also stood, to put his arms around her, but before he could get close, she held a finger up to him and turned back to Kolyat, stating, "I am about to kiss your father. Unless you want a permanent memory of it, I suggest you look away!" Turning from Kolyat's laughter, she and Thane hugged before their lingering kiss. Her heart sped up, and she wished she didn't have to leave. Too quickly they reluctantly let go and Thane returned to his seat. About to bid them goodnight, a thought crossed her mind and she looked at Kolyat with a grin.

"Oh, yeah!" With a quick wink at Thane, she put a hand on the table leaning down as if to whisper something to Kolyat. He was trying not to lean away as she looked him square in the eyes, a wide grin on her face, saying "I owe you this." With that, she planted a big kiss on his ribbed cheek. It instantly burned in surprise and she stood, sniggering.

Thane rumbled, "Hmm, yes. This will indeed be one of my favourite memories of Kolyat to date."

She couldn't sleep. For hours she tossed and turned, trying to think good thoughts instead of the lurid predictions her mind kept throwing up, on the fate of the Normandy.

When she did finally fall into an exhausted sleep, it's wasn't restful. She dreamed of walking around the SR1 crash site, seeing the bodies of Joker, Dr Chakwas, and EDI broken into pieces, just like the SR2 was all around her.

Their ghosts circled her, dancing in their smoky forms, their voices whispering:

"But Jenkins pops up and yells, 'that was awesome...'" Chakwas laughed briefly. "Oh dear, Commander. We do seem to keep finding ourselves in these awful situations, don't we?"

"Hey Commander!" Shepard gasped, looking for Joker. "Check this out! I'm dead! How cool is that?"

"That was a joke," EDI's head informed, from amidst the twisted metal of the Normandy. It was grotesque. Shepard began to panic. She tried to gasp, but her breather wasn't working. There was no air. She was going to die and join the Normandy crew. As she began to black out, she heard the Normandy's distress signal, EDI's voice asking for assistance, over and over and over...

Shepard woke up gasping, covered in sweat. All she could remember of the dream was picking up Joker's dog tags. She had to look at her empty hand to make sure they weren't real.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine.**

_An Angel's Revenge._

"Hi Bailey," Shepard stuck her head around his office door as it opened. "Got a minute?"

The Commander sat back in his chair with a smile, "Nope, but you can come in."

She strode quickly to his desk, perching on the edge, grateful to rest her ankle which had been aching all morning; A fact she made sure to keep to herself while she thumbed her signature onto the various pieces of paperwork, before finally being discharged from that damn hospital, and even more importantly, release her back into active duty.

"Wasn't sure you'd be in this early, Bailey."

"Ah well, Y'know," he sighed, turning his chair to face her and slumping comfortably, arms and ankles folded. "Still playing catch up with the paperwork since we got C-Sec fixed up. I guess you'll be leaving us for a few days huh?"

"Yep, the crew is boarding now."

Bailey chuckled, "I'd love to see what they make of you lot."

Rolling her eyes with a smile she said, "Hackett already told me to keep the team in line. Not because he doesn't trust them, but because he doesn't want them scaring the hell out of the crew, especially the turian's."

Bailey laughed heartily at this, "Yeah, if there's any team who can scare the turian military, it's yours."

"Any news?" Shepard had always asked this question on her regular visits to see Bailey during the war. She kept hoping he'd finally receive some news about his ex-wife and two kids.

"Nah, been well over a year, now."

She nodded, wanting to say he would find them, as she so often had in the past. But like many survivors, she was beginning to think some of those so long missing would never be found.

"But hey," Bailey said with his easy grin, "how does it feel to be step-mom to a young drell?"

Taken aback for a moment, Shepard snorted as she shot back, "Probably the same as you felt when you became uncle to a young drell."

Bailey's chest fell up and down in a low chuckle, "He's a good kid. I guess he's lucky to have us both, huh? Have to say, I was pleased to see him come back to C-Sec. Wasn't sure he would after he returned to the hanar home world for a while. Although, I kind'a figured he'd need a job, Y'know, if he came back for, Thane."

Shepard grinned, "I guess you were right. He seems to have settled in now, anyway."

"Yeah, fully fledged officer now. Never would have thought it the first time I saw him."

"Well, holding a gun to someone's head isn't the usual way to pass an interview for C-Sec training." Shepard chuckled then held up her hand to show Bailey what she had been keeping hidden. "I got you this."

"Hmm?" He took the bottle, reading the label, "Serrice Ice Brandy, eh? Expensive gift."

"I got one for another friend of mine, and figured I owed you a few drinks. Thank you for everything you have done for me over the last few years."

"Oh, no need," he waved a hand after placing the bottle on his desk. "But it's real nice of you, and I'll be sure to drink to you all tonight. Let's hope you find the Normandy in one piece."

"Yeah, fingers crossed." Shepard slid off the desk and stood, trying to ignore her ankle, which protested all the way up into her shin.

"Oh hell, before you go," he reached into a desk drawer, muttering, "Admiral Hackett will have my guts if I forget to give you these," and dropped a palm sized blue box into her hand. "Meant to give you this yesterday. The Admiral had 'em sent over."

Shepard pulled off the lid and grinned. Holding up the contents, she breathed, "My new dog-tags." In that moment it was better than getting a medal or a promotion. It reminded Shepard who she was, who she always had been, and despite the odds, who she continued to be; an Alliance marine. "Thanks, Bailey," she smiled, palming the tags.

"Welcome, bet you can't wait to get back to commanding a ship, eh? Oh, and congratulations, Captain."

"Thanks and no, can't wait. The whole team is raring to go."

"Good luck to you, Shepard. Hopefully, I'll see you in a few days with some good news, eh?"

Before she turned to go she eyed the C-Sec Commander, telling him sincerely, "Thanks for everything you've done for us. You're a good friend, Bailey."

Before he could respond she gave him a wave and left. Ignoring the pain in her leg, she hurried towards the lift that would take her to the AJ's docking port.

"Commander Shepard?" Said a voice behind her.

_Oh crap, not now!_

She had very nearly made it to the ship's airlock without anyone stopping her. Planting a smile on her face, Shepard turned, deciding if it was a reporter, she was just going to punch them and dive into the airlock. A camera wasn't trailing the asari who approached and Shepard un-balled her fist. "Can I help?"

"I doubt you'll remember me, Commander. My name is Weshra. During the war you brought me a message from my bondmate, after she had died on Lesuss, at the Monastery."

"Oh, yes, I remember."

"You do? Oh, well I just saw you and wanted to thank you, again. I saw what happened to you, on the news feeds. I'm glad you're ok, now."

"Thank you. I hope you're doing ok, too."

"Oh, you know," the asari lifted her palms in a shrug. "Surviving. It's what we do after a war, isn't it?"

Shepard nodded, "It's all we can do."

"With the relays being fixed maybe I'll be able to go home to Thessia, eventually. If there's anything left of it."

"I'm sure you will. Look, it was rough when I was there, but I'm pretty sure there's going to be plenty left for you to go home to."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Thank you," Weshra smiled, "it means a lot to hear that."

"No problem." Shepard smiled. "Look I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Of course. Good luck to you Commander. Goddess be with you."

"And to you, too, Weshra," she nodded, grateful to make it into the airlock before someone else called out her name.

While the airlock finished it's cycle Shepard took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she stepped aboard the AJ. Looking down the CIC brought back a thousand memories and so many emotions. It was overwhelming for a few seconds. This was partly the reason she had requested no pre-launch tour. She had already met the crew at this morning's meeting and wanted to walk around the ship that would be hers, temporarily, alone. Walking towards the galaxy map, she wondered how Thane had felt making this short journey, what memories it may have triggered as he noticed every similarity to the Normandy, and every difference. Perhaps, most notably, was the captain's chair at the CO's station, which she couldn't see herself using.

Eager to get going, the Captain wasted no time plotting a course for their two day journey. She was about to ask EDI to open a ship wide channel before stopping herself with a grimace. With a smile to temporary Yeoman Sarah Williams, Shepard made her way back to the cockpit to tell the turian pilot to take them out.

"Captain!" He clipped, about the most opposite of Joker you could get.

She smiled warmly in the hope he might relax a little, but he sat stiffly in his seat as if he had a stick up his ass. Maybe he just found the human design uncomfortable. Watching him pull the AJ away from the Citadel, she opened a ship wide channel.

"This is Comm, ah..."

_Great start, way to go._

"Captain Shepard." It just didn't sound right and she wondered if it ever would. "First I want to thank you on behalf of the Council, the Alliance, and myself for making this mission possible, at such short notice. You have my gratitude and if all goes well, that of the Normandy crew, also." She folded her arms, relaxing onto her good foot. "As I understand it, the turian's, and those who have crewed the AJ before, will be used to a pretty tightly run ship, as am I. However, my command style may be a little different than what many of you are used to," she was smiling now and noticed the pilots small shining eyes, mandibles clamped to his mouth. Years with Garrus told her that he was trying to suppress a snigger. Looking at him, pointedly, she continued. "Though, I'm sure you have already been warned." She had to suppress her own laughter at the pilot's bug-eyed look, as he struggled to hold in his mirth.

_Oh this is just too much fun._

"I'm sure we'll get along fine. Any problems just come and find me. So, let's go find the Normandy!" With no yell's of agreement, or encouragement from the crew, she sighed and finished with a quick, "Shepard out."

By now the Citadel had shrunk and Earth was easing away to their left. Pilot Bakavil impressed Shepard with his smooth manoeuvring of the AJ through the war junk that was still being slowly cleared up.

Before turning to go, she told him, "Hey, it's ok to laugh around me, so relax before you break something, huh?" Giving him a slap on the shoulder, she left, grinning. Joker would be so proud.

As soon as she entered the mess hall, Garrus stood up from the opposite end of a large table, and began to applaud. Jack and Zaeed joined in and, opposite them, Thane leaned his cheek on a hand and looked at her with a grin.

"Bravo," said Garrus loudly, "good speech Comman... er, ah, oh, uh, um, Captain!"

Shepard eyed Garrus' mischievous grin and folded her arms, loudly throwing back, "Well, so much for your tales of turian's having sticks up their asses, Garrus!"

Jack and Zaeed whipped their heads around to look at Garrus, while Thane simply shook his.

Garrus spluttered, "I never said..." looking around at the handful of off duty turian officers who had joined them.

"So," Shepard said, making Jack and Zaeed swing their heads back in her direction, reminding her of a tennis match she had once seen beamed live from Earth, back when she was the Normandy's XO. "wanna spar, Garrus? We got the room and the turian's for a decent match. Maybe I could take you on?"

Thane gave her a sharp look. Garrus replied in mock pity, "Oh, I couldn't Shepard. Really. Not with you still being so frail, n'all."

Thane snapped his head around to give Garrus the sharp look, silently shouting at him to stop encouraging her. At the same time Jack and Zaeed looked in the opposite direction, with matching grins, to catch Shepard's reaction.

"Nah, it's because you know I'll kick your bony, turian ass!"

Garrus scoffed, "One day, Shepard, I'll make you eat those words."

Now Thane was trying the impossible trick of glowering at both of them at the

same time, while opposite him, the tennis match continued.

Leaning both of her palms on the table, Shepard looked up at Garrus with an evil smirk, and in the sultriest voice she could muster, told him, "Well, Garrus, you might have the reach, but I have the flexibility!" She was the only person on the whole ship who knew why that made Garrus stammer, twitch, and shuffle his feet, but it felt good none the less.

With match point to her, Jack and Zaeed looked at each other with a shrug. Getting one over on Garrus, who had started the banter in the first place, gave Shepard a nice feeling that life was maybe starting to get back to normal.

Pushing away from the table, she asked, "Anyone want a drink?" Noting the drooping mandibles of a couple of turian's, she said, "Oh, come on. You guys aren't seriously telling me you've never seen a captain use a kettle?" They actually shook their heads and Garrus snorted, instantly clamping his mandibles against his mouth when Shepard pinned him with a look. "Sticks, Garrus?" He was too busy trying not to laugh to shoot her a black look.

After poking around the small mess kitchen, Shepard took her tea down to engineering and spent a while chatting to the engineer's. Then she made her way down to the shuttle bay and armoury, finding it empty. With a huff, she realised there was no more putting off a conversation she needed to have, and headed back up to the CIC to invite Ashley's sister to her cabin - which she had to remember was in the same place as the Normandy SR1, down on the crew deck. Shepard preferred the SR2 version, even if it was Cerberus built. It was a short, awkwardly silent journey in the lift, which became outright embarrassing when her cabin door opened.

_Thane!_

Clearly, they were going to have to work something out, later. It could have been worse, at least he wasn't strolling around naked or something.

"Sorry, I should have called up, er, down," she muttered, trying not to grin at her own naked drell thoughts.

"Captain," he smiled at her the way a human might wink, "Yeoman Williams, it's good to be working with you, again."

"Thank you, sir," grinned the young human, "I wouldn't have missed this for the world."

_Sir? Ok, don't laugh! Hell, she's so much like her sister._

Shepard offered Sarah a seat, wondering how to kick Thane out of their quarters diplomatically. As always he was two steps ahead.

"If you don't need me, Shepard, I'll be in the gunnery with Garrus."

"What? He's taken over the gunnery already?"

"Indeed," Thane smiled, continuing smoothly, "and he's requested my help with some, calibrations."

Shepard nearly had to stuff her fist into her mouth to suppress her laughter, as Thane swaggered out.

_So gonna get you back for that one, Krios. Love you to bits, but you'll pay!_

With a smile far too wide for the occasion, Shepard sat near Sarah, who was either quite relaxed or really good at faking.

"I haven't had a proper opportunity to thank you for helping to pull my ass off that Collector ship."

"Hey, I'm just glad we found you in time. The way I heard it, much longer and you would have been a gonner."

Shepard nodded, "Miranda tells me that had a lot to do with you finding a pick up point, by eye. You must have had to fly that shuttle pretty close to the ship."

"Practically skimming it! Honestly, I was such a wreck by the time I set down, I was grateful Zaeed took over!"

"Yeah, I heard about that. Kind'a figured you'd be annoyed."

"Nah," scoffed the younger woman, waving her hand.

"So, you've quit piloting, now?"

"Huh? Oh, asking to be your Yeoman? Oh, no way, ma'am! I'm looking forward to getting back to piloting, but that post had already been covered when I heard about this mission. So I figured another duty would be good experience, and I wanted to work with you. Uh, if that doesn't sound creepy or anything?"

Shepard laughed, "No, not at all. It's good to have you on the team. You know, you're a lot like Ash."

"Oh, don't!" Sarah rolled her eyes. "Loads of people say that."

"Hey trust me, it's a compliment."

"Well, thanks, ma'am. I guess that's why no one in the family was that surprised I joined up when the war started. A lot of my friends did, as well, and I figured maybe I could help in some small way. Didn't figure I'd be any good at the whole military thing myself, but..." Sarah trailed off with a shrug.

"According to your files, you ace at piloting. I'm happy to say that, just like your sister, you're a real asset to the Alliance. You must miss her."

"It's funny, she joined up when I was still a little kid, so I was used to her not being around much. I suppose I miss her letters home, and it took me a long time to stop expecting her to come home for a visit, Y'know?"

"Yeah, I do. I'm sorry, I, ah, well, my orders..."

"It's ok," Sarah rescued the Captain. "I'm an alliance brat from a long line of military people. I get it. I'm not saying it wasn't hard loosing Ash, but I know she would be happy just knowing you got Captain Kirrahe, and his men, out of there, and destroyed the crap Saren was up to."

"You're well informed," Shepard smiled, approvingly.

Sarah just smiled. "You know, I asked for this job, not just because Ash served under you, but because she told me what a fine Commander you are."

"She did?" This surprised Shepard because she and Ash hadn't worked together that long before she died.

"Yeah, in letters home she told us she was pretty pleased to be on the Normandy, and how cool it was that you always made time to chat with her. I feel like I'll learn a lot serving under you. And hell, Captain, we're going to be rescuing the Normandy! The most famous ship in the galaxy, maybe after the Destiny Ascension."

"Infamous, more like," Shepard snorted. "Ash talked a lot about you guys, too."

"Yeah?"

Shepard searched her memory, "Sure, she was pretty proud of you all, especially you, the young, feisty one of the Williams sisters."

"Oh God!" Sarah shook her head, with a grin.

"She told me this story about you and a guy called, er, Mark? Mike, maybe?"

"My ex, Mike?"

"Yeah, something about him trying to punch you, so you dropped him on his ass before calling the medics for him?"

Sarah laughed, "Oh God, I haven't thought about that in years! I guess I didn't have much restraint back then."

"The way I heard it, Mike was the one who needed the restraint. Wouldn't take no for an answer?"

"Yeah, he was a dick!"

Both women laughed at this and Shepard said, "Well good for you, and I'm pleased to be able to tell you that in person."

"Thanks ma'am. I can't tell you how good it is to be working with you."

"That's a nice thing to know, thank you, Sarah."

The ride back up to the CIC was much more pleasant, and Shepard was relieved Sarah was as chatty, and as easy to talk to, as Ash had been. Making sure she was settled into her duties, Shepard returned to the shuttle bay and spent the rest of the afternoon upgrading her armour and the weapons she had selected. It used to be a job she hated doing, but unlike the paperwork, it wasn't something she could put off. This time, though, it felt good to get back into it. She enjoyed the solitude, and fell into a pleasant meditative state as she got to know already familiar equipment, and made it _hers._

Just a few weeks ago, she was hobbling around on crutches, treating Thane like he was the enemy, and doing a great impression of one of those preachers who insist 'we're all doomed' - or in her case, 'we're all indoctrinated!' How Thane had the patience and stamina to put up with her, Shepard still didn't know. Especially, considering how she had done a fine job of stomping on his heart a few times. He had forgiven her, and while she felt nothing but gratitude, she hadn't quite forgiven herself, yet. Plus, even now, as much as she would often remember those no longer with them anymore, just as often she would remember Thane in an 'oh my god he's still alive' way, and it's still quickened her heart with joy. She grinned when her thoughts turned to their forthcoming evening, and it was all she could do to stop herself marching back up to her cabin right now, and locking them both in.

_Maybe if the cabin wasn't on the crew deck?_

Tempting, but a few more hours wouldn't kill her, much.

_Damn drell and his damn patience!_

As she upgraded the scope for a rifle she didn't expect to ever use, her mind went back to a different armoury on an almost empty Normandy, after she had said goodbye to most of the crew. She had spent most of her time feeling depressed, pensive and pissed off, except for when she was with Thane.

Walking the Normandy's empty corridors, she carried a deep ache in her heart, while she looked for Thane. He clearly wasn't able to sleep, either. She could just ask EDI where he was, but she wanted to walk around the ship. They were dropping Garrus off tomorrow, so this could be her last chance. It was oppressive though, the crew's absence just magnified the corridor's emptiness, even though it would have normally been quiet at this time of night anyway.

She found Thane in the armoury, cleaning his guns.

"Siha," he looked up with a smile.

"What you up to?" She asked, more suspicion in her voice than she intended.

His smile didn't falter when he firmly assured, "I am not going back to my life as an assassin, if that's what you're thinking. I promised Koylat, and I promised you. I won't return to my battle-sleep. I simply wanted a memory of cleaning my guns in the Normandy's armoury, with the assurance Jacob won't come in to scowl at me."

Shepard laughed, leaning against the work table behind her.

They locked gazes, and the only other words spoken were her telling EDI to lock the doors. One of which she quickly found herself pinned against, naked, one of her legs hooked around Thane's waist.

"Gods," she muttered at the memory, unconsciously voicing something Thane would say. Shepard noticed she had stopped working, shook her head and picked up the rifle, again. Truth be told, it was hell back then, and good memories were few and far between, as far as she was concerned. But when she and Thane had been together, nothing else mattered and, for a while at least, everything was perfect.

It was the pilot's voice who broke Shepard out of her reverie, to announce they were approaching the newly repaired Mass Relay. By the time she reached the cockpit most of the team were there to take a look. It looked much the same as it always had, but it was a tense moment because, once the jump was made, there was no way back until the relay on the other side was fixed. Fortunately, reports suggested this was imminent. Aside from being less damaged than the Sol relay, the science teams had learned a considerable amount and nearly had it down to a fine art. Even so, if something went horribly wrong, the AJ would be stranded. For Shepard and the crew, it was a gamble worth taking.

Once through, they were soon rendezvousing with a small science vessel. Shepard watched the AJ's docking arm extend fully, before going to the airlock to meet some old friends she hadn't seen since a long time before the war had ended.

"No Jacob?" Kasumi greeted with a playful pout, before giving Shepard a hug.

"Good to see you!" Mordin's thin smile practically cut his face in half.

Welcoming them to the AJ gave Shepard a huge buzz and she left them only briefly to thank the Captain of the science vessel before they wished each other luck. Once the docking arm was secure, the two ships pulled away from each other.

"Nice job," she told Bakavil, with a nod. Before leaving, she asked, "I don't suppose you know any jokes, do you?"

"Er, jokes, sir? No, not really."

"Never mind," she grinned, giving his shoulder a squeeze, before joining her team for mess time.

"They must think we're animals!" Liara whispered, smiling at the turian and human crew.

Shepard looked around, noting the new faces mostly listened to her team's banter as they ate. "Nowhere near as loud as it used to be, though."

"Oh Goddess, that's true," Liara giggled.

Shepard noticed a sadness in the asari's eyes. Even Jack was quieter without Joker to swear at. Although, Jack sat with her arm slung over the back of her chair, and looked more relaxed than Shepard had ever seen.

There were other marked differences among the team dynamics, Shepard noticed as she looked around. There was once a time when seeing Jack and Miranda in conversation, would have made her feel the need to leap over a table and split the pair up to stem an explosive argument. Hell, just watching them have a conversation she couldn't hear from the other side of the room, or the ship, was enormous progress. It had been surprising to discover the two women could be left alone without killing each other, but even more surprising, and comical, was the way Miranda seemed content to answer to 'cheerleader' these days. She had also noticed Jack and Zaeed seemed closer than ever before. She didn't know if he had become a sort of father figure to her, what with the age difference between them, or if they were getting close in a deeper way, but either way was good, and she could always ask Kasumi later. If the she didn't know right now, she probably would by the end of the evening.

It was heart warming to have come through the war and see so many of her friends had survived. In some ways it almost made up for the losses Shepard refused to dwell on. More than that, to have come through all this, and see how the survivors of her team had united together, and stuck together, was truly heartening. Not as miraculous as Thane's survival perhaps, but just as good. They had become closer since the war ended, no longer just soldiers thrown together out of necessity, but people who respected each other, trusted each other; even liked each other. While she was sleeping, her formidable fighting force had bonded without her. Shepard liked that a lot. It was a shame Jacob wasn't here to see this. Although, she was glad to see he was a settled family man now.

There was another big difference. She kept expecting to see Thane skulking in a corner, only putting up with the noisy company, at her request. In the past, he had clearly wished he could escape back to Life Support, as soon as he felt a suitable period of 'being part of the team' had passed. Now, every time she looked around for him, Shepard realised she no longer had to be the Commander that held the team together, or try to cajole Thane into integrating with the crew. Every time her eyes found him, Thane was chatting to someone or other, usually with Garrus in tow. She enjoyed watching him, seeing his lips move, or his hands gesture as he talked. But annoyingly, she was often interrupted when he turned to her, as if he could feel her eyes upon him. Each time he gave her a warm smile, and was so much more relaxed than he used to be. She wished she could do a Kasumi and turn herself invisible. Having said that, knowing Thane, she would be spotted in seconds anyway.

"Well," Miranda stood, "there's a lot of work to do."

Shepard sniggered.

_Not everything changes._

"Right with you," Liara added, following Miranda back up to the war room and

now a quiet space the two women could work in without being disturbed. Jack and Zaeed slipped off together soon after, but Kasumi seemed content to sit chatting, or was that flirting, with one of the med techs who looked a little bit like Jacob.

Thane came over to inform her, "I'll be in the cabin preparing for tomorrow's mission. If you need anything, please just let me know."

"Thanks, Thane," she smiled, not really sure if this was code for 'I'm going to have a shower so might be too naked to receive surprise visitors', but really wishing that thought hadn't skipped through her head.

With no official on-board doctor - there was no real need, what with the amount of medical techs aboard, ready for any needs the Normandy crew might have - Shepard figured Mordin would be more comfortable hanging out in the medical bay. Aside from complaining that it wasn't quite as advanced as the Normandy's medical bay and the lighting could be better, he seemed pretty pleased with the environment. Before she left, and making sure no one was looking, she confessed to Mordin how badly her ankle was aching, despite being maxed out on her meds. He scanned her foot while he hummed to himself, and wrapped her ankle with a fresh supportive bandage, before giving her a shot of something unknown. Mordin assured it wouldn't do her any harm, at all - probably not anyway. It took the edge off the aching pain, so she didn't question him, and left hoping any side effects would be obvious enough for her to notice before she fell over and died - or grew horns, or something.

There was one more thing Shepard needed to do before she could finally join Thane and enjoy their first proper night together as a couple. With a desire to shake off the past, there was something she needed to face. So, with a deep breath, Shepard entered the only room she had yet to see on the ship.

Thane smiled at Kolyat's brief mail to let them know Shepard's fish were still alive. He had asked Kelly to look after them, but her landlord had a strict no pets rule and as the only pets you could keep on the Citadel were fish, he had turned to Kolyat. He only agreed when Thane promised to stop Shepard from killing him if he inadvertently killed the fish. Thane decided not to pass this information onto his Siha. She felt Koylat would be a good fish-sitter, as he was unable to forget to feed them. Thane didn't point out the drell ability to remember everything that had happened in their lives, didn't mean they couldn't forget something which was supposed to happen. Fortunately this was rare enough to not be an issue.

After letting his son know they were safely through the relay, and that Kasumi said hello, Thane unpacked their clothes and the blanket he had brought along, in the hope something familiar might make Siha feel a little more at home on this borrowed ship. He also placed her old dog tags, rescued with her body from the SR1 crash site, and which Liara had framed, beside the bed. It was still a sparse, utilitarian room, with just a couple of paintings hanging on the bulkheads, belonging to Major Kelso. Aside from these items, there was no trace of her. Briefly, while he took out his guns, Thane wondered if it was usual for someone with the rank of major to be captaining a ship, or if it had something to do with the Ain Jalut being the experimental replacement for the crashed SR1?

After spending some time cleaning his gun's, he took a shower, making sure he was dried and dressed before exiting the small bathroom, just in case of visitors. The aroma of gun oil still lingered in the air, and he was glad Shepard quite liked the smell. He was indifferent to the oily scent, but Irika had hated it, and he quickly learned to clean his guns well away from her, even before they were married. He still thought of his wife, but now the memories he returned to were happy ones, and the pain of her death was all but healed. There would always be a scar on his heart, but it was no longer the open wound he had carried around for ten years. Koylat's forgiveness, and the love of his 'Captain Siha', as he had called her a couple of times over the last twenty four hours, since her promotion, had helped him to begin the process of forgiving himself. He believed the kind-hearted, generous, and forgiving woman Irika was, would be happy knowing he had finally found peace with his past.

Thane had settled into a relaxed posture, cross legged on the floor to pray and meditate, far longer than intended. Obviously, he had fallen into a more relaxed state than he could ever remember, because he was surprised by the late hour when he checked the time, and wondered what might be keeping his Siha.

Thane left the cabin, and upon approaching the lift he noticed Garrus lurking near the door of life support, and padded over to him. Garrus tilted his head back towards the mess, and silently, Thane followed him, sitting in a chair opposite his friend, curious by his behaviour.

Though they had the mess to themselves, Garrus spoke in a quiet purr, "Probably best leave her be."

"Hmm," Thane rumbled, just as quietly. Although it wasn't the first place he intended to look, he had wondered if Shepard might be in life support. "Kasumi mentioned something about Shepard requesting a table and chairs to be put in there."

Garrus chuckled, "Not a lot gets past her," his paranoid eyes darted around the mess.

"Kasumi is not with us," Thane assured, with a knowing smile. Leaning his elbows on the table, and clasping his hands together, he asked, "Can I assume Shepard hasn't turned life support into an office?"

"Oh, now, I didn't even think of that." Garrus brightened a moment, "I suppose it makes sense what with the two of you, er..." he flapped a hand, "Anyway... Hmm, I'm not sure... No," he finally decided with a quick head shake, "I don't think that's it, too many, uh, memories."

"I see."

Months ago, Garrus had told Thane how, after his presumed death, Shepard had spent a lot of time in life support. It had been empty of furniture after its refit, but she had personally found the table and chairs down in the shuttle bay, and replaced them before Thane's supposed death. He felt terrible over the pain she went through, agonies he was responsible for. He'd simply had no idea just how deeply she loved him, back then. To him she had become everything, but he had assumed, foolishly, he would become nothing but a mere footnote in her life, despite the love that had clearly burned from her.

He had been selfish to go to her, a dying man. Not that he could possibly regret it, only the grief he had given her. Knowing it was now behind them was his only comfort, and he tried not to seek out those past memories, anymore. He wanted only to dwell on his gratitude at their incredibly good fortune, at being alive and together again.

As such he didn't understand why Siha was spending any time in a room similar to one which represented so many negative memories, and a time of great heartache for her. He asked Garrus as much.

"Well," pondered Garrus, "us lesser mortals don't have that drell recall, do we? We have to rely on, you know, sights, sounds, and smells, to help us remember things."

Thane frowned, "The drell may not need external stimuli to trigger a memory, but when we actively seek one, it is usually something to bring us joy, or comfort. Sometimes, however, the more negative memories seek us, and we can't always push them away. So, I'm not sure I understand why Shepard would actively seek to recreate such pain."

"Oh, I wouldn't call it pain, as such, more, hmm now, what's that human word? Melanchor... no, uh, melancho..."

"Melancholia?"

"That's the one! We turian's don't really have a word for it."

"Intriguing… perhaps Shepard is practicing her own form of solipsism?"

"Solup what now?"

Thane smiled, "Let's just stick with melancholia."

Garrus huffed, but didn't press the point. "I told you before, humans seem to enjoy their emotions. That's why they insist on having all those ceremonies!" Garrus smiled weakly, sitting back in his chair, mandibles twitching slightly, as he recalled those days during the war, with Shepard back on the Normandy. "She called life support 'Thane's room' a few times, back then. She told me it was her only real connection to you. That was after you, you know, died. That room became a big part of her life, and whatever becomes a big part of a human's life, good or bad, has to be... I don't know, marked in some way. I'll bet if she could, she would put a monument up in there, or something," he chuckled. "I mean, she stuck a monument up at the SR1 crash site, where no one would ever see it."

"You don't approve?"

"Oh, it's not that, it's just, at the time, I thought we had better things to do than her take a risky walk with her breather, to collect dog tags. They had been there two years already, I figured waiting until after the war wouldn't do any harm," Garrus shrugged. "But, she said it was important, and something she had to do alone. You know what she's like once she sets her mind to something."

Thane nodded in understanding. In some ways, he was a little worried, as was Garrus, clearly, but he understood Shepard's need to meditate over powerfully emotive events from her past, with the aid of an external stimuli. He hoped it would help.

Sitting back he was about to ask Garrus if he wanted a tea, when he noticed a tiny movement across the room. Without taking his eyes off Garrus, he said, "Welcome, Kasumi. Will you join us?"

Garrus looked around, "I thought you said..."

"She had only just arrived." Thane grinned.

Kasumi de-cloaked, stomping to the kitchen, muttering, "Remind me never to take a job on the hanar home world!" Despite this, she made tea for all of them, asking, "So, what are we talking about?" Before they could answer, she shot them a knowing smile, "Shepard, in life support, right?"

The two men wandered over to the mess kitchen, so Kasumi wouldn't have to struggle with the mugs. When they were settled again, the conversation quickly turned to Kai Leng, when Kasumi asked Garrus if he had ever furnished Thane with the story of his would be killer's demise. Garrus needed no further encouragement, and with Thane and Kasumi settled next to each other at the table, Garrus stood, so he could tell the tale a la Zaeed style.

"Do you want the long version or the short one?" Garrus asked.

"Long," Kasumi answered straight away, pulling her feet up onto her chair, "I like this story."

Clearly happy to oblige, Garrus grinned and looked at Thane, his smile growing even wider when Thane simply tipped his head for Garrus to go on. Thane had already pushed away the memory of the last fight he had taken part in, one which nearly ended his life, and indeed should have ended it.

"Well, you know he got away after he, uh..."

"Put his sword through my body?" Thane offered, mildly.

"Yes, well... uh, anyway, Shepard's next encounter with Leng was on Thessia. I wasn't there for that one, so you're maybe better off asking Liara about it, but by all accounts, that nearly ended in tragedy, as well. They were in an asari temple, and Leng had his gunship nearly bring the whole place down on top of them. Shepard took quite a tumble, but somehow managed to cling on and climb her way back up what was practically a sheer wall!" Garrus shook his head, "The way I heard it, there was one hell of a drop. Now, heights don't bother me, but even the thought of that makes me shiver." At that, Garrus shivered.

Thane remembered the abyss he nearly fell into on the Collector ship, and the thought of his Siha in a similar predicament made him shiver, as well.

"Anyway," continued Garrus, with occasional expressive hand waving, "bastard gets away, again. Now, did you know about the message Leng sent her?"

"No." Thane frowned.

"Hmm, put her in a foul mood. Not that I can blame her, but if she could have found a door to slam, it would have been off its hinges on the first go. Oh the way Shepard stomped around the ship for the next few hours..!"

Kasumi giggled at the image, but Thane's frown deepened. "What did it say, this letter?"

"I didn't read it, myself," Garrus told him, "but, well, I suppose you can guess, he taunted her."

"About... me?" Thane felt shocked when Garrus nodded, and not a little sickened by Leng's coldness.

"Other things, too, I'm sure you can imagine. But with it being not so long after you had... died, well, you know..."

"Gods," whispered Thane, shaking his head with a deep frown. He almost wished Leng had survived, so he could kill this vile man himself.

Garrus was staring at his mug on the table in front of Thane, but when he looked up again, he brightened, "So anyway. With Leng stealing the data we needed from the temple, Shepard decided to, to use her words, 'take it to the Illusive Man', and that's where me and James were left to deal with Leng's army, practically by ourselves, while she went after Leng. I tell you, Thane, they were among the toughest mercs we had ever seen, and there was wave after wave of them to deal with. But Shepard, she was so focused on Leng, she was determined to bring him down this time, and me and James, we couldn't blame her, we wanted the bastard dead as much as she did. At one point though, hell, I thought it would go on forever... You see, those damn mercs kept coming at us, and Leng kept hiding himself behind a biotic barrier every time Shepard got his shields down." Garrus sighed. "But, she did it. She got through his shields and took the bastard out! Only, ah, I suppose we got a little complacent, when it was all over. Huh, I don't know about anyone else, but I was pretty stunned we'd survived that one, at all. Not that this is any excuse or anything. James and I, well, we weren't as vigilant as we should have been, you see," Garrus started to pace back and forth in front of Thane and Kasumi. "We really thought we had them all."

"Leng," Thane guessed, more to urge Garrus on, than anything else.

"Yes. Shepard was working on the Illusive Man's terminal, pulling the prothean data we needed off it, she had her back to him. Leng was so quiet, even you you might have even been impressed, Thane."

"I doubt it." Thane glowered.

Kasumi gave him a poke in the ribs, "Cheer up, it gets better!"

Garrus grew more intense, no longer marching back and forth, but stood facing them, feet apart, talons clenched into fists. "It was James who saw her move first, a split second before I did. But... hell, by the time James had his weapon up, it was all over." His eyes sparkled at the memory, a slow grin spreading his mandibles apart. "Oh you should have seen her, Thane! She was so, damn, fast! Leng was right behind her, that damn sword already up and ready to... you know."

Thane was grateful Garrus decided not to be too descriptive.

Growing more animated as he recalled the encounter, Garrus continued, "I am not making this up, Thane, she whirled round so fast, and with such force," Garrus made a sharp, chopping gesture, "she broke the thing in two!"

"Leng's sword?" Thane's brow shot up as he turned to see Kasumi's wide grin, then back to Garrus, who was nodding, enthusiastically.

"Oh, yes. You can imagine the look on Leng's face. He was utterly stunned." Garrus smirked. "Not that he had much time to think about it, because then, and I don't know how she did it so fast, I really don't, I saw her open her omni-blade. If I had blinked, I would have missed it, I swear. It was one hell of a sight... when she thrust that blade into him." Garrus punched his fist forward and up to demonstrate. "She pushed that blade into Leng as far as she could, but," Garrus was almost sniggering, now, "that's not even the best bit! Oh, I'll never forget what she said right before Leng wobbled, and she pulled her blade out and let the bastard fall." He paused, enjoying the moment. "She said, and I quote," Garrus hissed out the best impression of Shepard he could muster, "That was for Thane, you son of a bitch!"

Thane's companions waited for a reaction, while he blinked and considered this. His heart hammered in his chest almost as if he had been there. When Garrus took his seat again, Thane looked at him for a moment, then slowly, he smiled, "Thank you for telling me this story of..." his words became awed, "an angel's revenge."

The room was smaller than the Normandy's life support. It had no shelves and only a bulkhead where the window would be. That had annoyed Shepard, discovering the SR2's window had been blacked out after its refit. This room was the same shape, but with the dim glow from the small, but numerous, lights running along the main life support modules, and the furniture a couple of obliging crew members had moved in, the setting was more than adequate.

Shepard wasn't usually the self indulgent type, and she couldn't really explain why she wanted, or maybe needed, to do this exactly. It just seemed like an important ritual to perform, in order to say goodbye to some of the past hurts loosing Thane had caused. She had considered doing this many times, whenever she allowed herself to hope the Normandy would be found, she imagined sitting back in life support again, just to see how it might feel with the gift of hindsight, and no more reason to grieve for him. Realistically, though, there was a chance there may be little left of the SR2's life support, so she had decided to take the opportunity to get it over and done with, in this very similar room.

Sitting with her back to the door in 'Thane's chair', Shepard's mind was at first full of a quiet desperate hope that tomorrow wouldn't bring her to a crash site as bad as the one on Alchera, where the SR1 was spread across the snow in so many pieces. That had been an emotive search, looking for the dog tags of her lost crew among a gravesite that had once been where her own corpse had laid. She had shed tears for them all. Tears she annoyingly couldn't wipe away through that damn helmet. It had been later that evening, sorting through all those dog tags, when she had really lost it, something which had been building for many days since she had received that bastard Kai Leng's taunting letter. Even now this angered her, but she didn't realise she had balled her fist so tightly her short nails dug into her palm, deep enough to leave behind tiny, white crescents.

Back then, that night in life support, her tears had turned to anger, then utter rage. She had leapt off the chair, tossing it with a fierce throw, bouncing it off the door. The second one quickly followed as it was hurled on top of the first, then given a swift kick as it bounced back at her. With not enough room to throw the table, Shepard had hooked her fingers under the edge, and with a grunt, flipped it over, half ignoring, half rejoicing, the vicious sting one of its legs had dragged up her shin.

As quickly as it had flared up, the rage ebbed away as she looked around the upturned room. It mirrored the way she felt inside, in disarray, a mess, though she was surely much more broken. Suddenly exhausted, she sank to the floor, unable to do anything more than curl up into a ball, and sob.

That's how Garrus had found her, when EDI, without needing to be asked, unlocked the door. This memory brought heat to her cheeks, even more than when he had caught her going after imaginary Reapers in her pyjamas. What a state she had been. She had blamed chasing Saren across the galaxy and back again, waking up to find she had been dead for two years, and her new boss the head of a terrorist organisation she had despised, the Council sweeping the Reaper threat under the carpet, all the crap from Kaiden on Horizon... It had been Garrus who pointed out that, when she had finally found happiness and joy in her life, it was with a dead man. Garrus seemed to understand, he hadn't judged her, or reacted in horror at finding his friend and Commander in a complete mess. He wouldn't even agree she was losing the plot.

Of course, after her chat with Garrus a few weeks back, she now understood his empathy towards her grief. Perhaps she would have realised sooner, if she hadn't become so lost in grief, and so focused on the war.

Her shrink at the hospital had told her -once she had actually decided to speak and listen to him- that she had never had the chance to grieve properly, and far from feeling stupid, she should be proud at the way she had held herself together enough to fight the war to its end. He had also warned her, while she may no longer have to grieve for Thane, there were others whose loss she needed time to work through. She refused to count the missing in this still, but he was right, and even now she had barely shed a tear for Samara, Grunt, Tali or Anderson. Some tears had been shed, though, often over missing the services held for the dead while she slept.

Shepard sighed, looking down at the table, and an image of Thane sat cleaning his guns came to mind. She could almost smell the gun oil. He used to be so formal, so contained, so... Shepard laughed ...uptight! No maybe uptight was the wrong word... regal? This made her laugh even more. In some ways, he was still all these things.

_Not that I'd change a, er, scale on his body._

That analogy pleased her. Her smile fell away when she recalled seeing Thane's tears for the first time, his shame at his sudden desire to live. She had given him that, an inadvertent, and bitter-sweet gift. She rubbed her face with her hands, and sat forward with a sigh.

He hadn't died. He was still here, probably waiting for her in their cabin. Yet, the remembered pain of losing him was still present. A scar on her heart, refusing to fully heal, despite the fact it had no right to be there in the first place. It was a strange complexity of emotions, recalling that stomach churning emptiness, still lurking underneath a feeling of breathtaking joy. Was this how Garrus had felt after she strolled back into his life?

She remembered vividly those awful mornings after Thane died, Every day, waking up with just seconds before her thoughts turned to him.

_"Goodbye, Thane."_

She let the tear roll down her cheek. What had been a heart wrenching loss, was now a dull ache. How strange it was, carrying the emotional loss of a person who was still very much in her life. Shepard was also able to empathise with the way Kaiden had felt on Horizon a little more. She still thought he had been a big jerk, even though they had mostly patched up their differences and become friends, for a while at least. She wished he was around, so she could share her new understanding of what he had gone through after she died.

All the what if's started circling around her head again, not just over the fate of her missing team, but the Normandy's fate too, and she slapped the table as if this might slap these useless thoughts out of her head. With Thane aboard she had enough of a distraction, without getting preoccupied with this type of torturous thinking.

Still, Thane was a positive distraction, at least. He always had been, right from the start, if she was going to be honest with herself. She had tried to tell herself otherwise at the time. It seemed she was quite the convincing liar at one point, fooling even herself into believing Thane turned her into a giddy schoolgirl, for every reason but the real one. Shepard frowned, unable to actually remember even one of the excuses she had conjured up.

Perhaps because, she was thinking about distractions, the sounds of the AJ began to invade her senses, and Shepard suddenly felt as if she had been miles away, vanishing into her memories a la drell. Now she was firmly back in the wrong life support, listening to the ship emitting a slightly higher hum than the Normandy. She heard Kasumi's high laughter from the mess hall, Garrus' voice, though not clear enough to make out his words. Not for the first time, she considered this must have been similar to what Thane had often heard on those late Normandy evenings. Although, this ship was much quieter, so far anyway. Jack wasn't yelling at Miranda, or Joker, or, well anyone really. Grunt would never again be stomping around the corridors muttering. Joker's voice wasn't cackling over the comm every hour or so, to share a witty observation with her, or sometimes with the whole ship. None the less, Shepard was reminded of what Thane must have heard in his solitude, whenever he had declined to join the team. At the time, she had buried deep the disappointment she felt, right up until they began spending more time together, and she had finally admitted to herself it was more than just for the good of the team. Her attraction to him, or rather, the realisation of how she felt about Thane, had snuck up on her almost as stealthily as the drell himself. Once it was acknowledged, however, it had become a force unto itself. had been ambushed by her own emotions.

Shepard hadn't failed to realise loving a dying man would be setting herself up for a world of hurt. She just convinced herself she would be able to work through the pain, and more, in much the same way she had with all those other losses in her life. Every soldier who died under her command, every friend she had said goodbye to, plus after losing her parents, she was no stranger to dealing with heart breaking loss from an early age.

_Who the hell was it who said something like: 'It is better to have loved and lost, than never loved, at all'? _

Whoever it was, Shepard would have cheerfully tracked them down and smacked them in the mouth, if it wasn't for the fact they had probably been dead for decades already. Thane's death had turned out to be a whole new level of loss, shockingly so. Still, she never regretted loving him. Hell, she was ready to kick the Reapers in the ass, and get herself across the sea to be with him, again. That made her shudder, she had been damn close...

Her biggest regret had been handing herself over, so the Alliance could shove her in the brig. If it hadn't been for the Reapers hitting Earth, she may never have seen Thane, again. She had spent long, frustrating months pacing the small space next to her bunk, wondering if Thane was even still alive. That had been a hell she could never endure, again

_Give me a damn Collector ship to fade away on, any day!_

A soft chime at the door pulled Shepard out of her thoughts. It didn't surprise her. She had been closeted in here for some time, now. It had been cathartic in some ways, and somehow, she felt like part of the past had been laid to rest. So she went to unlock the door, expecting to see Thane or Garrus.

"Siha. I don't wish to disturb you..."

"You're not," Shepard grinned, about to step out of life support when a sudden thought occurred. "Join me!" She took his wrist to lead him to the table, sitting in the opposite chair to the one she had just vacated, so Thane could sit in 'his' chair.

He paused a moment before sitting down. "This is... unexpected."

They automatically linked hands across the table, and though she smiled with genuine pleasure, Shepard's eyes became watery when she said, "How amazing is this? You and me, back in life support together, again."

"Hmm," Thane rumbled, looking around. "It's quite..."

"If you say different, I'm going to slap you!"

He chuckled, "I was going to say… similar."

Shepard rolled her eyes, before noticing the look of concern on Thane's face. "I'm ok," she assured with a smile. "I just..."  
Thane held up his hand before laying it back over hers, "You have no need to explain. Something about a human penchant to honour the past, I believe."

"You've been talking to Garrus."

"I have, yes, indeed." Thane smiled. "I want to thank you, Siha."

"Me? Why?"

An odd look came over Thane's face, something between utter disgust, and pure delight. "Thank you... for Kai Leng."

She nodded slowly, realising they had never discussed Leng. Clearly Garrus had told him the story. That was ok, he told it better, anyway. "Pleasure was all mine," she smirked.

"You... broke his sword?"

Shepard shrugged, "I guess you must have weakened it with a rib or something." It was out before she could stop herself, so she was relieved, and delighted, to see Thane laugh at this, rather than struggle with the painful memory. "I still have it," she told him, "At least, it's on the Normandy, last time I was there, anyway."

"You... kept it?"

"A trophy, I guess. A reminder of a small victory over... pain? I dunno, probably sounds dumb, but it seemed fitting, at the time."

"No, Siha, it doesn't sound... dumb. It's... very poetic." He was genuinely moved. "May I share a memory with you?"

"I'd like that. Er, unless it's of Kai Leng. Then I'd rather we go to the cabin, because that one will probably make me cry."

Thane smiled, giving her hand's a squeeze. "No. Perhaps in years to come I'll share that memory, but..."  
"Really? Years to come? I mean, you're really going to stick around, this time?" Shepard was only half joking.

Thane looked into her eyes, as he assured, "I don't intend to die anytime soon. However, I may consider throwing myself out of an airlock at some point, if you continue to ask stupid questions." He wore such a poker face it took Shepard long seconds, and Thane adding, "It was a joke," before she burst out laughing.

"Oh, hell," she gasped. "You're worse than EDI!"

"EDI..?" He asked, but she was laughing too much to respond.

Eventually, she shook her head, and said, "You're not exactly discouraging the stupid questions with that kind of bone dry humour, Krios!"

Thane grinned, "I thought it might appeal to your military sense of humour, rather than simply offering a mere promise that I will stay by your side for as long as you will have me."

"How about forever?"

"Hmm?" He pondered seriously. "Yes, I think forever will be fine."

"Humph! Well, as marriage proposals go, I suppose that will have to do."

"That wasn't..." Thane stopped his protest when she started laughing.

"See, I can do dead pan, too! So gotya!"

"Hmm," he grinned, giving her that damn half-lidded look, and before she could suggest they take themselves to the cabin, Thane barely hid his smirk when he asked, "Now, can I share a memory with you?"

_Bastard!_

"Of course." Shepard grinned, enjoying his unspoken tease, and particularly looking forward to getting him back to the cabin at some point, soon.

Thane blinked his inner eyelids, and looked down at their hands without really seeing them.

_"I ease my finger off the trigger. Red hair, bright in the scope. What does this human want with me? She turns, Gods! Shepard? Back from the dead?"_

She had heard Thane's memory of his first encounter with her before, but it was a long time ago and, not that it mattered, she loved to hear Thane share his memories. She closed her eyes, content to listen to this one again. As he spoke, however, it changed, became more personal.

_"The ambush is swiftly over. I am impressed. She leaps over her cover in silent triumph and I, I feel it, too. Only the thought of completing my last job stops me breaking my cover. I want to go to this woman in red, this beacon to all those who would seek the help of this heroic woman, and those who will fall at her feet in a vain attempt to snuff out this burning flame. If tonight she wills my death, I will bow at her feet in honour... She hitches up her armour with small hands, how small in mine? Do her lips feel as warm as the smile she offers her companions? I smile at the warrior's glint in her eyes. She is so unlike any warrior I have ever seen. Why does the sight of her move me? Why do I want to touch each of the tiny battle scars on her face, hear her voice as she tells me the tale of each one? Yet, I know I will never have that honour, and must turn away. Swift feet carry me on. Heart quickened by the need to finish this job, and, also, for her. A silent prayer that we may both survive, so I can meet this warrior angel."_

Thane fell silent and Shepard opened her eyes, surprised to see he was blinking back tears.

"The first time I shared this memory with you, it was only my observations, I couldn't reveal my... feelings, the way I can now. To be honest, I wouldn't reveal them to myself for... too long, after that evening in Dantius Towers."

Gently, Shepard asked, "You're saying, you were attracted to me right from the start? And here was me thinking you didn't even like me, back then."

"Really? Oh, I never disliked you, Siha. I didn't know you well enough to have true feelings, either way. But yes, you held my gaze from the very first moment I saw you."

Shepard nodded and her smile quickly turned to a giggle when she told him, "You're going to have to stop meeting women like this, Thane." At his raised brow, she explained, "Through the scope of a gun you're pointing at them."

With a wry smile Thane agreed, "Ah, indeed. I suppose I have never considered it, that way. Although, with Irika it was different, she simply stood in the way of my shot. You, however, I seriously considered shooting."

Shepard snorted, "Oh hell, you're such a romantic, Thane!"

He grinned at her sarcasm for a moment, before taking a deep breath, to tell her seriously, "You know, we can't have children together."

"Oh hell, curveball alert! Where the hell did that come from?"

"It is something we never had to discuss before, but now..?"

"Well, aside from already having that talk from Mordin," they both chuckled, "I guess you're right. Er, honestly, if it's something you want to do in the future we can always adopt or something."

"I wasn't thinking for me, Siha. I have Kolyat and you. It is more than enough, but you?"

"Oh, right." Shepard paused a moment to consider her words. "When I was with Kaiden, we talked about maybe having kids, maybe in the future. But with the Reapers breathing down our necks, well, the future wasn't something we really talked about, in depth. I knew he wanted kid's one day, and I... uh, to be honest, I've always been on the fence about it. If it happened, fine, but, I guess, I couldn't really see me giving up my career to make it happen. Y'know?" It suddenly occurred to Shepard that this strong drell needed reassurance as much as she did, from time to time. "I have a family. It's big, and it can be dysfunctional at times, but the Alliance is my family. Plus, I got my team and, most importantly of all, I got you, Thane. You hold my gaze, too, and to borrow the words of someone I deeply admire, I will be by your side for as long as you will permit." She smiled, melting into his eyes as so much emotion crossed his face. Suddenly realising now would be a perfect time to say something pretty important, she said, "I've been meaning to tell you something, something long overdue."

"I am listening," he smiled.

"Thane," Shepard watched him closely so she didn't miss the reaction on his face, "I..."

"Captain Shepard?" A voice over the comm.

She practically collapsed onto the table. "You have got to be _kidding_ me!" In a louder voice, she grumped, "Yes, what is it?"

"Doctor T'Soni wishes to see you in the war room, sir."

"Quads!" She muttered. "I'll be right there." Shepard sighed, pushing her chair back to stand. "Damn it," she told Thane. "And we were just getting to the good part, too."

"Oh?" Thane kept hold of her hand. "If it was urgent you would have been told. Liara won't mind waiting a few moments."

"Agreed, but, ah, this can wait," she smiled.

"It's not important?"

"Oh, it is," Shepard squeezed his hand before letting go to walk to the door,

"but not in a bad way."

"That's... intriguing." Thane clasped his hands together, elbows on the table, turning to watch her go.

"Wow!" She breathed. A memory of a dying drell superimposed itself onto the image of the man in front of her almost exactly. It completely took her breath away. At his questioning look, she breathed, "You truly are an amazing sight, Thane Krios." Shepard had to tear her eyes away and force her feet to take her out of life support.

"Yes, Liara what is it?" Shepard said in her get-on-with-it tone, as soon as she stepped into the small war room. The asari was working at a terminal opposite Miranda, their backs to each other, and Shepard laughed, "It's nearly midnight guys. Anyone planning on sleeping tonight?"

Without looking up from her terminal, Miranda said, "Perhaps, if you were to practice what you preach, Commander."

"It's... Captain?" She grinned.

At that Miranda did look up, though didn't turn around, as she muttered, "My mistake. I must be more tired than I thought." She dropped her head down, again, to continue her work.

Liara approached, "We are beginning to pick up some data from the Normandy's computers." This made Shepard's heart beat faster, but she didn't interrupt. "It's only passive information, I'm afraid. We still can't establish a comm link with EDI, nor anything relevant to give us any idea of their current status. Sorry, Shepard, but we are working on it. Everything is so heavily encrypted. Kasumi is working on some information for us in her quarters."

Miranda looked over her shoulder, "It will be. The Alliance will have tried every trick in the book, and then some, to be certain the Illusive Man couldn't hack his way in, I'm sure." She smiled, approvingly, "Smart move."

Shepard nodded, folding her arms, and resting her hip on a rail separating the main room from the Quantum Entanglement Communications platform, similar to the one in the Normandy's small comms room.

Liara continued, "However, I have been able to access some of the crew's personal files," she looked down a moment, hands squeezed together, "just in the hope there might be some relevant chatter regarding their status."

"Makes sense," Shepard said mildly, "go on."

"Well, uh, nothing so far, but," Liara looked up at Shepard, "I, I'm sorry. I found something in your unread message file. Something I thought you would want to see, Shepard."

"What?" Her only concern was the content of the message, rather than Liara utilising her skills to hack her personal terminal. Shepard had already given Liara free rein to find anything she could.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about, Shepard, er, not that I read the message, at all, I would never..."

"It's ok, Liara." Shepard put a hand on her friends arm with a smile.

Liara relaxed, returning to her terminal as she revealed, "I believe it's Thane's letter, the one he sent after you had left the Normandy for Earth."

Shepard's arms dropped to her sides in surprise. Speaking almost to herself she muttered, "The one he wrote to tell me he was still alive." How very different would things have been if she had read that letter all those months ago?

Liara nodded, "Yes, I'll send it to your omni-tool."

"No!" Shepard said so forcefully both women looked at her. It surprised even herself. "Er, I don't want to read it, just yet. Thanks, Liara, but, can you save it for me, please?"

The fact was, she wasn't ready to read something which was bound to be emotive, not at this time of night, and not after spending the last couple of hours experiencing a plethora of emotions down in life support. She was exhausted, and just wanted to go curl up with Thane properly for the first time in over a year. Shepard had all but forgotten about this message, and the beginnings of an idea came to mind.

"Certainly, Shepard,. Just let me know when you want it." Liara smiled, settling back into her work.

"Thanks, Liara. Now, will you two go get some sleep, soon?"

"Pot-kettle, Captain!" Miranda shot over her shoulder.

"Noted," grinned Shepard, ignoring the confused look Liara was giving Miranda's back. "Going now, goodnight people."

She left Miranda to explain the humanism, briefly wondering why there were 'humanisms' but no 'asariisms' or 'turianisms', before thinking how tired she was. Although, she had no intention of sleeping, just yet.

Thane sat, one arm across the back of the seats, reading a book on his pad, when Shepard entered the cabin. His welcoming smile soon turned to mild perplexity, as she shrugged off her uniform jacket, letting it fall to the floor then pulled her white vest over her head, and also dropped it, while making a swift traverse of the cabin. By the time she got to the bed, she was stepping out of her trousers, and Thane's perplexity had turned into a half lidded enjoyment of the surprising spectacle. Wearing nothing but a smirk -a seductive smile would have been better but she couldn't help herself- Shepard slipped into bed, laying on her side to push an inviting hand along the covers towards Thane.

He dropped the pad onto the table without taking his eyes off her, standing to remove his tunic in one smooth movement. Once naked it was clear to Shepard he needed no further encouragement.

Their legs entwined as soon as he laid next to her, and for a moment she laid her head on his chest. "No bubbles," she whispered, smiling up at him.

Before he could answer she kissed him hungrily. Their lips didn't part as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her body close to his and guiding her onto her back.

Looking up into his beautiful face made her heart burst, and she shivered at the touch of his hand's, as they explored her body. One was firmly against her back, the other snaking around to her stomach, then slowly up towards her breasts. When his lips found her neck she threw her head back, feeling, more than hearing, the rumble of pleasure in Thane's chest, as she gently slid her knee up his inner thigh. She moaned when Thane's hand slipped down to her hips, and settled between her thigh's, as his lips found hers again.

Unable and unwilling to control herself, Shepard threw a leg around his hips, and pulled him towards her, her encouraging hands putting pressure on his muscular buttocks. But Thane resisted, gently brushing hair out of her eye, letting it linger between his fingers a moment. It was longer than it had ever been, as she hadn't had the chance to cut it in over a year. His hand moved to her cheek, caressing it lightly.

"Siha," he whispered, looking down at her with that gentle way he had, yet, a boiling passion was evident in his dark eyes. "I want to be gentle with you."

Shepard understood. Though he knew she was almost fully fit now, you don't watch someone recover from the injuries she had survived, and want to go slamming them against a bulkhead at the first opportunity. She nodded, smiled and opened her mouth to reassure him, but could only gasp as he slowly entered her, holding her gaze until she was overwhelmed by the love between them, as well as the way he felt inside her.

She arched her back, gasping again, clinging to him as Thane wrapped his arms around her. She dug her nails into the scales across the muscles of his shoulders, already denser by human standards, this particular drell was especially strong and muscular. Krios was still the name of the galaxy's most feared and formidable assassin. Yet, Thane was the most gentle, considerate, and compassionate man she had ever known.

"Gods," he whispered, and for a while nothing mattered but the feel of their body's together.

For the first time ever, Siha had fallen asleep on his chest, and Thane had fallen asleep with a sense of peace and joy he had not believed was possible to feel, ever again. It wasn't just because he was finally able to make love to his Siha, or the ability to hold her in his arms in comfort, instead of on a hospital bed not made for two, but also because he could fall asleep looking forward to waking up with his Siha by his side.

She was the very opposite of the definition 'morning person', but that didn't matter. He planned to kiss her gently when she awoke, before leaving her to shower, and get most of the grumpiness out of her system. Then he would return with a mug of coffee, and to see if it was safe to stay.

Unfortunately, morning arrived much sooner, and more abruptly than anticipated, and Thane's eyes flew open when a voice over the comm said, "Captain Shepard?"

Siha lifted her head up with a grunt, and she sleepily wiped the corner of her mouth, then Thane's chest. He was glad the cabin didn't have the constant glow of a fish tank, so she couldn't see his smile. It would have been completely dark if it wasn't for the dim light from a terminal he had left on.

"Yes, Shepard here," she muttered loud enough for the turian to hear over the comm. She rolled to a half sitting position with a huff, and Thane turned to place a gentle hand on her thigh, the other propping his head up.

"Sorry to disturb you Captain, but Captain Idella of the science vessel currently monitoring the Normandy site, has asked to speak with you, immediately. He is waiting for you on vid comm. He says its urgent, Sir, otherwise I wouldn't have..."

"Yeah, fine, just gimme a minute. Shepard out."

She muttered something unintelligible that ended in "crap", and again, Thane was grateful for the shadows. As disturbing as it was to hear there was an urgent message potentially regarding the Normandy, Siha catching his smile may also prove dangerous to his personal life and limb. Yet he could never help feeling amused by her lack of tolerance to waking up. Being woken up was even worse.

Swinging her legs out of bed with a humph, she stood. Clearly forgetting this cabin was smaller than the Normandy's, she took one step and walked straight into the closet door. After a string of expletives, she muttered, "Ow!"

Thane had to muster all his self control to keep an even voice when he quietly asked, "Are you ok, Siha?"

"Yes!" She snapped, in a hiss. "Just kicked the damn closet. Wasn't the achy foot, its fine!"

Thane filed that away for later. Now would not be the time to question the Captain; now was the time only to be still, quiet, and cooperative.

Though Shepard made her way carefully to her work station, she forgot about the small step separating it from the sleeping area, which the SR1, she had told him, didn't have, so she tripped over it, to land on her hand's and knee's. She spun around to sit, swearing like an Alliance marine running into a Thresher Maw.

Thane may have laughed, very quietly, to himself, had she not been clutching her ankle with a hiss of pain. He sprang straight out of bed. "Siha?"

Stopping instantly when she growled, menacingly, through gritted teeth, "I'm fine!" before getting up to flop into the chair. She ran her fingers through her shoulder length hair, and looked down at herself, swearing again, this time when she realised she was still naked.

Thane continued to fight back his amusement as he approached her, the fowl look on her face turning briefly to surprised gratitude, as he gave her the white T-shirt he had swiftly retrieved from a drawer. Once she had put it on and turned back to her monitor, the fowl look had returned, and Thane retreated back into the safety of the shadows.

By the time Captain Idella had finished briefing Shepard, Thane had silently dressed in his leathers, brought up the lights just enough to stop Siha crashing into things - though not so much it would annoy her intolerant morning senses - lined his weapons up on the bed and collected her uniform from the floor.

Shepard gave the order to both the pilot and the engineers, to push the AJ as fast as it would go, and then even faster than that if possible. After that, she woke the whole ship up, with the announcement she needed the team, and relevant rescue and recovery crew, assembled in the mess hall in twenty minutes. Thane nodded to himself. The conference room would be too cramped, plus the mess was closer to the coffee.

Rubbing sleep out of her eyes, Shepard stood, looking around the room before focusing on Thane. He received a Captain's approving nod, and a warm smile from his Siha. Although, at that moment, he simply enjoyed looking at her standing there in a T-shirt which barely came down to the top of her thighs.

"Thanks," she said, stepping down and into his arms. "Hmm, it's kinda sexy, you in all that leather, and me wearing just this thin top, and nothing more."

Thane rumbled his pleasure, gently squeezing her body against his. He breathed in the fresh scent of her hair, mingled with the warm lingering musk of their passion. Only the importance, and now urgency of their forthcoming mission, stopped him from laying her down onto the bed. Instead, he kissed her and said, "I will leave you to get ready in peace, my warrior-angel."

Thane reluctantly let go of her, and moved to the door, briefly looking back over his shoulder to see she was already working on a pad.

Thane frowned, he was glad he had cleaned his gun's last night, for this mission had just become fraught with danger. He left, worrying over the potential battle to come.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten.**

_Across the Sea._

There was a subdued buzz in the mess hall. Those not in seats were perched on tables, or leaning against bulkheads. Jack was one of the latter, standing next to a small knot of turian and human techs, resting her back against the bulkhead, arms crossed, chin on her chest, eyes closed to the low conversation.

The smell of coffee was strong by the time Shepard arrived, immediately sweeping her eyes around the room before handing a pad to the turian shuttle pilot, then walking to the front of the group. As she passed Thane he handed her a coffee and he was rewarded with a heartfelt thank you and a big smile. By the time Shepard had enjoyed a couple of sips of the hot liquid, the room was quiet, and everyone focused on her. Apart from Jack, who didn't look up until Shepard spoke.

"Seems we have a situation. Captain Idella reported seeing what looks like a large merc craft, setting down right on top of the AJ's landing zone. We know there have been groups of salvagers in this system, so I have to assume they're going after the Normandy."

"Yeah," Zaeed, frowned, "bit of a bloody coincidence innit?"

Shepard nodded. "They set down less than an hour ago, so with luck we'll be on the ground before they know what's hit them."

"Unless," Garrus pondered, "that's the idea. The timing is a bit of a coincidence as well, don't you think?"

"Noted," Shepard said. "But, I suspect that really is coincidental. They have no way of knowing we're about to arrive. None the less," she continued before Garrus could protest, "if it is a trap, we'll be ready." Shepard's smile was meant to reassure, but Thane noticed the fire in her eyes. "Obviously we can't land the AJ, and I'm not risking our only shuttle by dropping us in hot. So I'm taking a team in, under the radar, a few clicks south of the merc position." She looked at the shuttle pilot who nodded once. "We'll find out what they're up to, and give them a chance to go quietly."

While Shepard let that hang, Jack pushed herself off the bulkhead. "Hey, can't we just land at the Normandy site and post guards or summin'?"

From a seat at a table Miranda shook her head. "Topography suggests the Normandy is in a cul-de-sac surrounded on three sides by an ocean, mountains and a dense forest. The only place large enough to land the AJ is on the shoreline a few clicks south of the Normandy site."

"Shit!" Jack muttered, sagging back against the bulkhead behind her with a scowl.

Thane had noticed over the last couple of days how no one ever said 'crash site' or 'landing site' it was always just 'the Normandy site', but he barely considered this right now, as he continued to deal with an internal struggle, while he watch his Siha. On the one hand it pained him having to see his warrior-angel running back into danger so soon. There was still a way to go before she was fully fit, despite all the hours she had spent rebuilding her strength, and stamina, in the hospital. Yet barely forty eight hours after being discharged, she should not be facing battle, at all. Having said that, Thane would not suggest she allow him, or someone else, to lead a team in. Once Thane had made the decision to go into that Collector ship all those months ago; he would have forcefully rebelled against anyone trying to stop him, even though he couldn't have known the gods had been leading him to his Siha.

Shepard's face spoke of the tingle, the pre-emptive flicker of excitement that always came before the thrill of the fight; it heightened the senses of a soldier about to do battle with an enemy. They all felt it. Oh how Koylat would worry if he could see them now. Suddenly, Thane felt an even deeper empathy for his son, as he watched his Siha. When she gazed his way, he silently pleaded for her to take him into battle by her side. She must surely understand it would be impossible for him to remain aboard the AJ while she went into battle.

"Ok, tech team," she said to the twenty or so medics and engineers, "you can go and get your gear ready, have breakfast, wake up, etcetera. Miranda will coordinate with you when it's time to drop." Shepard gave them time to file out, and the shuttle pilot gave her another nod, to let her know the shuttle would be ready to go as soon as she was.

Turning her attention back to Miranda, Shepard said, "We'll keep an open comm link with you while we're down there."

"Yes Captain. Our ETA is just short of two hours, so you'll have time to eat something as well before you go."

"Yes, mom," grinned Shepard, though she was aware Miranda was simply making sure she nourished herself adequately, in order to fully utilise her biotics, without becoming exhausted. Finally, she announced, "Garrus, Thane - you're with me."

Though he didn't show it, the relief nearly knocked Thane over, and the look Garrus shot him suggested he felt the same way.

After another sip of coffee Shepard told them, "Dismissed. Doctor?" At that both Liara and Mordin stood, but Shepard was looking at the Salarian, who simply nodded and went into the medical bay to await her, already anticipating her needs. Shepard slowly walked towards the kitchen, while she drank the rest of her coffee, and before putting the empty mug into the dishwasher, she wiggled it in Thane's direction to thank him, which he accepted with a smile and a bow of his head. He left to get his gear, then planned to feed his own biotics. He looked back at Shepard just before he turned the corner, and tried to tell himself not to worry over seeing her heading towards the med bay.

Shepard stood by the shuttle, rolling her shoulders around and getting comfortable in protective gear she hadn't worn in many months, when Thane stepped out of the lift. Striding towards her, the hem of his coat lifting slightly, rifle poking up over his shoulder, his smile was relaxed, despite the circumstances. Garrus was sitting on a crate, one foot up, as he worked on his gun, looking at the floor through his scope, adjusting it slightly, looking again.

"You are always endlessly calibrating something Garrus." Thane smiled as he approached.

"That joke is getting old," Garrus grumbled, switching on the tiny heads up display over one of his eyes.

Thane stopped a few feet in front of them and focused on his Siha. She looked at him, adjusting the waist band of her armour, while Thane blinked his eyes, studying her.

"What?" She asked.

"Is it... black?"

"Dark red," muttered Garrus without looking up.

"Ah," said Thane. He was unable to differentiate between dark red and black, a small price to pay after an operation so he could see the bioluminescent language of the hanar.

Shepard grinned, "Yeah, well, I figured I'd had enough of your whining about me being a bright red beacon on the battlefield. You're green, so should blend in nicely with the trees, I guess Garrus can draw the fire for a change, in his shiny, new armour."

"Hey," muttered Garrus, giving Shepard a sharp look, yet unable to hide his smile. Thane also grinned.

Shepard shook her head, sniggering at the floor, "Trees, hah, Oh hell, now I'm thinking about Christmas trees again..." She took a deep breath and quickly changed the subject, "Having said that," she looked down at her arms, raising them slightly "could maybe do with a bit more colour, maybe some purple?" Shepard missed her bright red armour, but knowing Thane saw dark red as black, she had settled on a compromise when she ordered her new gear, though not for the reasons she had given. She thought Thane's perfect memory of the last time he had seen her in her old armour would be difficult enough, without a reminder every time he looked at her, so she had gone for a slightly different colour scheme this time.

Shepard dropped her arms, and her smile, tilting her head slightly while considering Thane as he stood in front of her, feet apart, hands relaxed by his sides. Not his ready stance, hands clasped behind his back, to fool a potential enemy into believing he was relaxed, when really he was a coiled spring ready to strike, faster than a person could blink. The way he stood now, it was almost as if he wasn't worried about going into battle at all. Taking a few steps towards him Shepard began to slowly pace around Thane, who turned his head to keep his gaze on her as long as possible as she circled him. His crest flushed slightly, but he enjoyed her attentions and offered a small smile.

She marvelled at the sight of this man. On the face of it he hadn't changed one bit, he looked exactly the same as the night they had met in Dantius Towers, just before she fell in love with him. Yet he was a different person to the tragic drell who had lost everything, and had faced his impending early death with much dignity. These days he rarely sought solitude like he used to back on the Normandy. Now, instead of lurking in a corner, passively observing the team, Thane would be in the thick of it, bantering along and giving as good as he got. He was more relaxed, moving through life with an air of genuine enjoyment in what he did, a positive attitude far removed from the burdened man of the past.

Shepard too felt lighter, the weight of the galaxy no longer resting on her shoulder's, and she was able to freely enjoy the love she felt for Thane, without the bitter black cloud of doom hanging over her. Yet she didn't feel she had changed much at all, she just wore different armour now, and her hair was long enough to scrape back into a ponytail. As for Garrus, well, he was still exactly the same, just a bit shinier.

Finishing her walk around, she faced Thane as his half closed outer eye lids told her what was on his mind. She had to stuff her knuckles into her mouth and bite down on them, unable to hide her grin.

"You approve, Siha?"

"Oh yes," she breathed, slowly covering the distance between them.

As she approached him, Thane blinked, staring at a point on the floor somewhere over her shoulder, lost in memory. Shepard paused for many moments before placing a gentle hand on his cheek, her voice barely a whisper, "Thane?"

He blinked again, focusing on her face, "My apologies, Siha, a momentary lapse."

"Where did you go? The Collector ship?" She frowned in concern.

He smiled warmly, cupping her hand at his cheek, and turning to kiss her wrist. "You read me too well."

"I guess it was obvious, really. Neither of us were expecting to see each other in our fighting frocks so soon huh?"

Thane laughed at her turn of phrase. "True, but it was bound to happen, eventually." Despite his painful memory, and the worry over what they may shortly be facing, he couldn't help still feeling the same lightness in his heart he had been carrying from the day she became his Siha, again.

"For what it's worth," she told him, "you look awesome."

"I do?"

"Sexy as hell," she whispered, giving his cheek a quick kiss, conscious of the many eyes potentially watching their Captain. There was relaxed, and there was bordering on insubordination, or encouraging it at least.

"Guys, please, not in front of the turian. Can't you get a room or something?"

"Aww, Garrus," Shepard rolled her eyes, but took a step away from Thane, "can't a girl admire the man she..."

_God damn it! No, not here, dumbass!_

She froze, searching for a way to finish that sentence.

"Go on, Siha," said Thane, innocently. In that moment he had finally realised what it was she had been trying to say to him, what she had nearly just told him, and it filled his heart to bursting to note how she gave those three little words so much importance.

"Later!" She snapped, pushing down her embarrassment under Thane's amused gaze, and the look of confusion from Garrus. She marched off to check and holster her weapon's before putting on her gloves, really wishing the two men would strike up a conversation or something. Instead, she could feel their eyes burn as deeply into her back as the burn she had received on Earth, which had melted her clothes into her skin, and warped part of her armour. At least that injury was healed by the time she came out of her coma and she had no memory of it, at all.

When the AJ's pilot announced, "Shuttle drop two minutes, Captain Shepard," her heart began to thud. She was barely able to focus on the potential threat of the mercs below now they were so close to discovering the fate of the Normandy and her crew. A part of her was terrified, but mostly she needed to get to them, _now_!

"Thanks, Bakavil . You and the engineers have done a hell of a job getting us here so quick. Well done." She would thank them all personally when they got back. Shepard wouldn't be surprised if the AJ had set a galactic speed record. Joker would be impressed.

_Oh please, let Joker be around so he can feel jealous as hell._

She was going to enjoy writing her reports to the Alliance and Turian Hierarchy about this fine crew. Right now, however, there was another crew to consider.

With a deep breath, Shepard said, "Ok, let's move," and led her team into the shuttle.

Shepard practically let out a war cry as she charged out of the shuttle as soon as the hatch opened. Garrus and Thane looked at each other, the former muttering, "I suppose she's making up for the drab armour."

Thane barely hid his grin as they moved out after her.

Shepard stood on the beach looking around, not so much for mercs, who were still several clicks to the north, but at the scenery. A gentle, lapping ocean to her left, the jungle of smoothly barked trees, limbs twisted around their tall, thick trunk's, all the way up to the green canopy on her right. Shielding her eyes from the warm sunlight, Shepard gave their shuttle pilot a quick wave, pausing to take in the beautiful plunging waterfalls ahead, before moving off in the direction of the rocky mountains in the distance.

Thane looked up at the vast crescents of the two planets dominating the clear sky and set off behind Shepard and Garrus, as the latter complained, "Did you have to charge out of the shuttle like that, Shepard?"

Shepard replied with a mild shrug, pulling ahead and into a low crouch behind a weathered rock. The two men took staggered cover, as she did so, until the expected all clear was given. Moving forward in an easy jog, they repeated the same routine many times over for the next thirty minutes. After steadily moving inland, Shepard signalled the team to join her behind a large tree, the fat roots of which she knelt among.

"Guards." She held two fingers up.

Thane took a look down the wide sandy path cut between grassy dunes and the jungle's tree line. There were two batarian's standing behind some reinforced crates, essentially blocking their path. They didn't appear alert to intruders, but clearly weren't taking any chances.

"Garrus and I can take them out quickly," he suggested.

Garrus nodded, but Shepard shook her head, "It's possible they're just trying to survive and I want to give them a chance. Maybe we can end this without bloodshed."

Thane didn't believe this would be possible, but he and Garrus covered Shepard, as she scuttled across the path to stand in the minimal cover of a curving dune. With each guard in the concealed scope of Garrus' and Thane's rifles, she moved forward, and out of cover. With one eye on his target, and the other on his Siha, Thane had a clear view of the surprised look on the guard's faces. Despite their slow reactions, they had plenty of time to bring their gun's up, as Shepard slowly approached, one palm raised, the other pointing her gun away from the batarian's.

"I'm not here to fight," she told them, stopping a couple of meters away from the crates.

"Shepard? Nooo," rasped a vorcha as he appeared from behind the guards. "Go away. Don't want you here. Go away!"

Thane counted four more vorcha and three batarian's in the compound they had set up.

Shepard raised her voice to tell them all, "The war is over. Together the galaxy defeated the Reapers. We don't need to fight each other, anymore." To push her point home she gently snapped her gun back into its holster.

_Siha, no!_

She trusted Thane and Garrus to cover her, but both men clenched their teeth as the more jittery of the two guards barked, "What do you want?"

"I just want to get past," she said mildly, nodding ahead of her.

"Oh really? And why is that?"

With a sigh, she said, "Look, let's cut the crap. I'm going back to my ship."

Shepard stood relaxed, hands by her sides, one hovering next to the Hand Cannon strapped to her thigh. "Give me passage and I can arrange to get you out of here, and anywhere you want to go, back to civilisation if you want."

"Lies," hissed the vorcha, "all lies!"

"The relays are being repaired..."

"Then we'll find our own way back," interrupted the other guard with a sneer, "either in our own ship, or maybe in the Normandy. If it's not completely trashed," he goaded.

Thane saw what was coming next. A dozen batarian's and vorcha had slipped into cover and behind them lurked a couple of krogan. A handful of humanoid security LOKI mechs were unfolding themselves further back. Thane's thoughts were taken back to just a few weeks into his stay on the Normandy.

_Mess hall, Shepard laughs from her seat on the table, feet on the empty chair next to Jack. "Oh husks go down easily with an elbow to the face," the Commander said, her eyes shining, "but I like getting up close and personal to the LOKIs and just..." she jabs her elbow out with a smirk._

_"Fuck, yeah!" Jack bounces enthusiastically in her seat. "Then stomp on their heads," she brings a booted foot down hard against the floor, "to finish them off!"_

_"Exactly!" Shepard nods rapidly, pointing at Jack, "then... run like hell, before the damn things explode!" Both of them laugh, Jack slaps her thigh. I can't help my smile, listening to these small human warriors._

Thane allowed the brief memory to pass through his mind, and the light smile it brought to his lips, without it affecting his focus. He remained alert, to the quickly gathering storm, as Shepard continued to try resolving this with diplomacy. He wanted to shout a warning, but had to trust she was as aware of the intensifying situation as he and Garrus. Thane's heart leapt into his throat, when he saw the barrel of a sniper rifle slide into view from behind a crate. The sniper was too well hidden for Thane to target, but he was close enough to put a hole in Shepard's head. The look on Garrus' face told Thane he had seen it too; they had just seconds to decide what to do before the sniper pulled the trigger.

Suddenly, Shepard was moving, fast, her biotics shimmering. She threw herself into a forward roll, lifting the two guards in a stasis field as she brought up the Hand Cannon from her thigh. Taking out the vocal vorcha with several rapid and precise shots, she landed in cover behind the crate barrier.

Garrus and Thane sniped the guards, and moved forward, taking out a couple more mercs as they zigzagged the short distance into cover, next to Shepard. She had already swapped the Cannon for her Locust and with a nod she jumped the barrier, shooting on the run. As she reached the next cover, Shepard skidded low as her biotic wave pounded its way towards the enemy, knocking them over. Her head popped up, and she shot them before they could pick themselves up.

Thane was satisfied to see Garrus take out the sniper, while he killed two batarian's, before they hit cover again either side of Shepard.

"I guess some things never change," she grinned, ignoring the fire coming their way for the moment.

"Let's take it easy," Garrus warned, crouching low on her left.

"Agreed," she nodded once, popping up to take out the batarian who thought he was unseen behind the boulder up ahead. "We've got maybe twenty or so, plus a couple of krogan, and a few mechs. Hell I've not seen a LOKI in ages!"

The men nodded in agreement of her assessment, as the arms fire pelted the reinforced crates they paused behind.

Garrus smiled, "Shouldn't be a problem."

Thane leaned out to his right, and took a few shots at the mechs moving towards them. They chattered their warnings in humanised voices, "Rerouting power," informed the two whose legs Thane took out, slowing the rest down, until the fallen mechs exploded and toppled the three nearest.

Dumping their heat sinks as one, the team slapped in fresh ones, and Shepard said, "Move out," before vaulting over the crate, while her team covered her.

They pushed forward, moving and flowing together, three people, one powerful soldier - the turian, the drell and the human; anticipating each other's moves perfectly as they unleashed a formidable display of biotics, explosives, and weapons fire upon their enemy. They moved apart, then together again in twos or threes, forcing their way down their beachfront battlefield.

Garrus skimmed a couple of sticky mines towards one of the krogan ahead, sniping his growling enemy's shields before the explosion finished him.

Thane dived head first over a box as a biotic charge swirled around his body. It was thrown out, slamming a batarian into the ground before Thane had rolled onto his feet, where he was already picking off more targets with his rifle. He ducked for cover momentarily, before leaping up to kill the last vorcha.

Shepard moved low in front of him, ready to break for the next cover. They both spotted the batarian, who was flanking Garrus, at the same time. Thane continued to fire forward, knowing Shepard would trap the batarian in a blue prison. She balanced against his thigh for a moment, and he felt her shots reverberate against his muscles. She killed the batarian, whose body remained pinned in the air for many seconds, until the stasis field winked out.

"My shields are down," Shepard warned calmly, from between Thane's thighs, her voice clear over the comm. Thane moved out of her way, so she could dive back into cover for the precious moments it would take her shields to regenerate.

As Thane and Garrus took out the last krogan, Garrus chuckled over the comm, "Just like old times."

Shepard killed the two remaining batarian's, then shot forward, past her team, and the falling krogan, to barrel straight through three mechs, shooting the fourth in the head almost point blank. She twisted her upper body, bringing her knees up in a full spin, away from the mechs, her gun leading as she brought it around and up to shoot the only LOKI still on its feet. Landing on her feet, Shepard was well away from the small explosions when the damaged LOKI's self destructed.

With a satisfied sigh, she slowly swept the battlefield with her eyes, which was now completely still, apart from the waves lapping the beach and her team moving towards her. Also moving towards her was the torso of a mech, as it dragged itself forward with one arm, in a single-minded attempt to finish its job. The men stood amidst exploded LOKI parts, half looking out for more enemy movement, half watching Shepard.

She stood calmly, grinning down at the mech, allowing it to heave itself ever closer towards her, then closer still, until its hand was in grabbing distance of her boot. Shepard lifted her other foot, waiting for the mech to close the last few inches between them. As its hand reached out to grab her, she drove her boot down, hard, onto its head with a loud grunt, shattering the LOKI's outer casing. The red lights behind its faceplate went out, and its hand fell onto her boot. She kicked it away, and jogged backwards a few paces, waiting a moment. When it exploded Shepard threw her arms out and whooped, having to turn away slightly as some of the pieces flew towards her face.

With a wordless smirk, she looked at her team. Thane looking amused. Garrus was trying and failing not to smirk, as she passed by, and they fanned out to sweep the area.

When they regrouped, Garrus said, "Well, that was kind'a fun. I suppose the galaxy still needs people like us after all. Shame really, but, gives us something to do, I suppose."

Shepard grinned, "I wouldn't worry Garrus, I have a feeling there will be plenty to do as the relays are reopened."

She brought up her omni-tool to feed data to Miranda waiting on the AJ, as Thane approached from the merc's ship. "Their vessel is not in good repair, and their logs indicate the Normandy was indeed their intended goal."

"Aww," she said, waving off her omni-tool, "we spoiled their party." Her grin fell into a scowl, and she looked around at the bodies, hissing, "No way were those bastards getting their hands on _my_ ship!" Turning away from them, she walked a few paces towards the LOKI junk, lifting her gaze to the twin crescents in the sky, as if she could see the AJ. "Miranda?"

"Here, Shepard," came the voice over their comm's straight away. Miranda had been monitoring them constantly, and Thane wondered if the job of listening to your friends in a fire fight was as frustratingly hellish as he imagined it to be.

"Send a team down with the shuttle," Shepard ordered, "Tell them they're on litter duty."

"Oh, they'll like that," Miranda said dryly, the smile in her voice was evident.

Shepard grinned, "Tell them to get the landing site clear asap, and let me know as soon as the AJ is clear to come in."

"Will do, Captain. Team's ready to go."

"Thanks, Miranda. Shepard out," she finished, letting Miranda know the subsequent chatter wouldn't require her attention for now. She turned back to her team with a quick, "C'mon," and headed out at a fast walking pace.

As the two men's feet crunched over the LOKI parts, Garrus asked, quietly, so as not to trigger the comm, "Do you think we're destined to spend the rest of our lives following that woman?" He eyed Shepard's back, before looking at Thane.

"I hope so," smiled Thane, eliciting a 'harrumph' from his friend.

"Well, I'm sure there are worse things in life," Garrus paused, and with a chuckling purr added, "I'll just have to try and think of something later, maybe."

"Hmm," rumbled Thane, almost out of Garrus' hearing range. He had been watching Siha as she walked along the sandy path, between yet more sand dunes and trees, at a steady pace. "Is she limping?"

Garrus watched her a moment, "Hmm, could be. Maybe a little. It's that damned smashed up ankle of hers. She should still be resting it, but... what can you do?"

"I think it might be worse than she admits."

"She's taking care of it," assured Garrus, "Kasumi mentioned something about seeing her with Mordin, in the med bay, last night."

"I see. She didn't mention this to me." Thane couldn't help his smile as he recalled their evening together. "Although, we spoke very little last night."

"Please tell me that was the end of your sentence and particular train of thought!" Garrus muttered quickly, eyes firmly ahead.

"It was," chuckled Thane. Garrus gave him a quick sideways look then admired the scenery, with a little cough.

The two men talked as if conspirators out enjoying a sunshine stroll. But their heads moved around to scan the increasingly grassy dunes above, and their eyes searched the shadows between the tall trees, constantly. Soon they were climbing a wide slope, and lost the path as it merged with the top of a dune.

Suddenly, Shepard stopped dead in her tracks. The two men were already reaching for their rifles, but relaxed when she gave the safe signal without turning around, and their weapons were snapped home before they could be drawn. They quickly strode the last few paces forward and joined her at the edge of a small cliff.

Shepard was gazing down at the Normandy.

Clearly it had crash landed, and pretty hard. Thane wouldn't be surprised to find the shuttle bay crushed, if not entirely forced up into the engineering deck. It was, however, still in one piece, not an un-survivable mess of torn wings, ripped hull, and hundreds of scattered pieces.

Shepard sagged in relief, the unspoken dread they all felt momentarily lifted from her shoulders, as she breathed, "Thank the gods it's not like the SR1."

Garrus sighed, nodding, as Thane studied Siha. Her face spoke the relief of one hurdle crossed, as her body tensed again, giving away the many worries she still faced, while her eyes searched the downed ship from port to starboard, aft to stern. Not for the first time that day, Thane silently asked the gods to guide them to the Normandy's crew, and that they may have all survived. He felt optimistic; he had after all survived, and witnessed the survival, of worse odds than this.

Where the team stood, they weren't much higher than the Normandy itself, and close to where it lay at a very slight angle, but the slope down was steep, marked by a ribbon of loose sand, either side of which grassy tufts somehow grew on the ever shifting surface.

"Come on," she said in a low voice.

Thane opened his mouth to suggest the safest way down, but Shepard leapt off the edge. Her small boots hit the slope into a fast slide. She curled her fingers into the sand behind her, more to steady her rapid decent than act as a useless break. Knees bent, she had to keep lifting one foot after the other, to prevent her boots digging in too far and tripping her into a head first collision with the small boulders edging the bottom of the slope.

It might have looked comical, if it hadn't frozen Thane and Garrus in a surprise which quickly hardened into a fist clenched fear, while they watched. As the cliff spat her away at the bottom, they looked at each other, and almost shrugged, before stepping off the edge, and using the same technique as their gung ho Captain, to make their own rapid descent.

Shepard hit the ground so fast she stumbled forward, and had to put all her weight on her already aching ankle, the pain almost breaking her momentum, as she ran out of the fall. She didn't stop, forcing herself not to limp as she jogged along the hull of the Normandy, before turning in a slow circle to sweep the shadows under her ship, and beyond the tree line opposite.

Thane and Garrus were moving towards her, looking around with a relaxed caution, when Thane noticed how still Siha was, standing stiffly, and staring at something in the jungle. After a moment she slowly walked towards the tree line, entering a clearing in the jungle, before sinking to her knees. As Thane got closer he saw why.

"Oh hell!" Garrus whispered, his mandibles drooping.

Thane counted seventeen graves in the small clearing under the tree canopy. He didn't know exactly how many people had been crewing the Normandy during its final battle, but he suspected there wouldn't be many more souls than the bodies neatly buried in front of him. He crouched beside Shepard to offer his silent support, her tears not quite spilling from angry eyes, under her furrowed brow. She put a hand on his knee, which he covered with his own. Garrus quietly stood beside them.

Eventually, Thane offered, "At least it means some survived."

Both Garrus and Shepard nodded. She took a deep breath, letting it out in a heavy, long, sigh, before pushing against Thane's Knee to stand up.

He stood with her and Shepard asked, "Say a prayer to Kalahira for them would you please, Thane?"

"Of course." As Thane clasped his hands together and bowed his head to speak quietly to the goddess of oceans and the afterlife, Shepard slowly walked away towards the Normandy, with Garrus trailing behind.

They were standing at the bottom of a short rocky slope, which lead up to the Normandy's airlock, when Thane rejoined them. The small path didn't appear to be as well trodden as six months of use might have suggested, and he wondered if the remaining crew had cause to abandon the ship. The reason to do so would have to be extreme however, for the broken ship was still the best source of shelter and supplies, plus he knew Joker wouldn't easily walk away from the Normandy, let alone potential rescue. Thane tried not to wonder who was lying in those unmarked graves.

There was barely a hint of Shepard's emotional storm in her voice when she said, "Well, we know at least one person survived, and they anticipate rescue."

"How do you know that? About the rescue bit?" Garrus asked.

"Temporary graves," she waved a hand towards the site, "still unmarked after all these months. Won't matter how long it takes, they will all be easily identified from the dog tags buried with each of the... bodies."

"Plus," Thane added, "the site is quite free of foliage, it's been looked after."

"Hmm, yes, agreed," Garrus nodded.

With a sigh, Shepard scrambled up to the airlock, pausing outside to take a few calming breaths, and while the men caught up, she refocused on the task of finding the living - assuming they weren't too late, after all.

The team entered the Normandy cautiously, having to traverse a very slight upwards slope as they moved through the open inner airlock door. The gloomy cockpit was intact, but a mess of blown panels and shorted out controls.

"EDI?" Shepard asked, not expecting an answer, as she led them down the CIC. They had to step over a few snaking connections, obviously rigged to keep some minimum power running the emergency lighting along the floor, other wires hung uselessly from the bulkheads above. Most of the terminals were dark, but a couple added their orange glow to the dim lights, and it gave a vague and eerie reminder to Shepard of being on the Collector ship, when she saw Thane and thought he had come to take her across the sea.

As she reached the even gloomier galaxy map, she paused, looking at the green light of her private terminal reflecting back at her in the lift door, as it flashed its incoming message alert. Had that tiny light been continuously pulsing all these months? Shepard shook the question away; there were people to look for first.

She felt the weight of Thane's hand pressing against the armour on her shoulder, and quietly, he asked, "Are you all right, Siha?"

Garrus was watching from the other side of CIC. Realising the lump in her throat made her unable to speak, she offered them a firm nod before moving forward.

They quickly checked the war, comms, and conference room, all so gloomy they had to use their omni-lights, before returning to the lift. Shepard had planned to go back outside and do a walk around before going further into the Normandy, but when the lift door opened as she stepped close, it was an invitation she couldn't pass up.

"Garrus, you stay on watch. Any problems, holler."

"No problem, Shepard."

"We'll, er, yell if we get stuck in this thing," she added, entering the car with Thane, and stabbing a finger on the button to take them to the shuttle bay.

Gently, Thane told her, "I suspect there isn't much of the shuttle bay left, Siha."

"Yeah, ditto," she muttered, trying engineering next, and nearly jumping in surprise when the door closed and the lift slowly descended. It seemed even slower than it used to be. Instead of taking them to engineering, the lift stopped just above the floor of the crew deck, and they had to jump out.

The first thing Shepard noticed was the memorial wall, and her eyes automatically fell upon the last name she'd had to add to it.

_Thane Krios._

Even now it made her blood run cold, and she had to fight against the sudden rush of memories, and the urge to shiver.

Thane followed her gaze, and she heard him take a small breath. "You... had my name placed on the wall?"

She could only nod, frowning at the memory of breezing into Liara's office to quickly request Liara deal with it, before departing just as quickly, in case she lost control and cried in front of her crew. Thane's name had been quietly added within days, and Shepard had failed to make herself look away from it, every time she passed by. She hated it.

"Thank you," Thane said, "I am honoured."

Shepard looked at him like he was a crazy person, and blew out a long breath, before plodding into the mess hall.

Aside from the shattered med bay window and slightly twisted bulkheads, it didn't look too bad. The area had been cleaned up, which was another happy sign of life. Port and starboard observation were similar, and the crew quarters looked less tidy, but recently used, as did Liara's old quarters. Shepard had to take another deep breath before opening the door to life support. It was almost as bright inside as the observation lounges, now the blacked out window was so many scattered lumps all over the floor. The table and chairs Shepard had spent long hours at were upended, as if she had thrown them around herself, again. The hole in the bulkhead, where the window once obscured the engine room, revealed scorched walls. Clearly, the Normandy's engines had suffered a catastrophic fire and massive damage. Shepard sagged against the doorframe.

"Are you ok, Siha?" Thane enquired, again.

"I knew this would be hard, but..." she shook her head, looking at the shelves Thane had once stored his guns on, now laying broken on the floor. She stepped back, allowing the door to close on the carnage. "Where are they, Thane?"

"I suggest we return to Garrus and find a way to search the rest of the ship."

"Agreed." Shepard offered him a tight smile, and turned to step up into the lift. "We'll go back out and do a walk around."

As soon as they entered the CIC Garrus came out of the corner he had been lurking in, and Shepard turned away from that blinking light on her terminal, folding her arms while she filled him in on what little they had discovered. Speaking mostly to the floor she failed to notice Thane stiffen, or the low gasp from Garrus. Only slowly did she begin to detect a change in the atmosphere, and the hackles on the back of her neck stirred with a vague sense of something behind her. Finally she heard the approaching footfalls just before a voice spoke its surprise.

"Commander?"

Shepard whirled around at the wonderfully familiar sound, her feet already carrying her forward even before her eyes fell upon her old friend, who stood, open mouthed, at the bottom of the CIC steps.

"Joker!" She cried, barrelling towards him, only slowing down enough so the bear hug she gave him wouldn't break anything.

"Commander?" He repeated, his shock even greater than his three rescuers. Joker quickly laid his sub machine gun on the floor, and wrapped his arms around Shepard, squeezing her as tight as he dare.

"Oh, my god, Joker!" She pulled away to look at him properly, grinning, "Your beard needs a trim, soldier," she laughed.

"Well, y'know," he shrugged, rubbing his cheek, "the caveman look is _the_ look this year around these parts. Sorry Thane," Joker grinned at the drell's hairless biology, before pulling a double take, his smile falling into a slack-jawed shock. "What the shit..?" He stared at Thane before looking at Garrus, then back to Shepard, _"Commander?"_

Too surprised to make any ghost jokes, Shepard did it for him, "Don't worry, we're not here to haunt you, Joker," she laughed, "It's... a long story, but yeah, Thane's alive. We've come to take you home."

Joker shook his head, and his grin slowly returned as he ambled over to shake Thane's hand. "Shit... Hell, I can't tell you how good it is to see you guys... Shit!" After he shook hands with Garrus, Joker turned back to Shepard, "Good to see you found us before the Reapers did. We only switched on the SOS beacon a couple of weeks back, after a hell of a lot of debating over whether we should risk it or not."

"War's over, Joker," she grinned, leaning against a central operations terminal in an attempt to casually rest her throbbing ankle. "Reapers are gone, as far as we can tell. Relays were damaged, but are being repaired as we speak."

"Shit. I'm sorry we missed it, Commander, we just had this tiny problem of having to outrun some big ass massive ball of... I don't know what, on our tail! Whatever it was it was too big to get out of its way, the damn thing chased us through the relay, and kicked our asses."

Shepard nodded, "Yeah, we figured. I'll fill you in on that later, as well."

"So, I'm guessing the whole broken relay thing is your excuse for not picking us up as sooner, huh?" Joker grinned.

"Something like that," she glanced at Thane, and offered nothing more. There was an awful lot to catch up with, but for now there were more important issues to deal with. "What's the situation here, Joker?"

Joker sighed, leaning on the work station next to Shepard. He gave the two men in front of him a look, before eyeing her, then the floor. "I'm sorry, Commander. It was bad. Not really sure how we stayed in one piece. We... aww shit, we lost a lot of the crew in the initial crash, a couple others not long after."

"We saw the graves," she told him gently, "how many made it?"

"Not enough," he muttered sadly. "Shuttle bay is totalled, decks just... gone. We pulled a couple of people out of engineering, but most of them were too bad..." he huffed. "The only one who made it was Adams."

"Ken and Gabby?" Shepard swallowed hard when Joker shook his head, sadly.

"Allers died trying to help them, Commander. Traynor, Bethany, Sarah, and a handful of techs in the CIC got out ok but..." Joker sighed, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Joker." She laid a hand on his arm to offer a gentle squeeze.

"Well, anyway, we've been living in the mess. Supplies ran out, shit, ages ago, but this planet is pretty forgiving, and we set up a camp outside. It's, y'know," he shrugged, "been ok."

"What about Doctor Chakwas and EDI?"

"Er, well, EDI took some damage. Let's just say she went above and beyond trying to get people out of the burning engine core, but she's fine, now. The doctor..." Joker shook his head, looking at Shepard only briefly, "Oh shit, I'm sorry, she didn't make it. Happened in the crash."

Shepard looked down at the floor and pursed her lips, frowning. She and the Normandy's Chief Medical Officer had formed a very close bond over the years. Shepard thought of that bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy waiting in the cabin back on the AJ, a gift she wouldn't be able to deliver now, after all. The two women had begun sharing a bottle together annually over the last couple of years, and it was a blow to Shepard knowing this tradition had been nipped in the bud so soon.

"I tried to bring her in smoothly Commander. I, I..." Joker frowned with a huff.

"Hey, Joker," She told him firmly. "No pilot but you could have landed this ship in one piece under those circumstances. You saved lives, and I know damn well you did your best!"

He didn't look convinced and Shepard wished she could find the words to assure him. She wanted to yell expletives, punch something, struggling as she was to still the emotions lurking within her. Relief, shock, joy, grief - it was all there. For Joker's sake, she kept a lid on her feelings, and smiled at him, "I'm damn happy to see you, Jeff!"

He smiled, "Yeah, ditto Commander. Kind'a surprised, too."

"Yeah, I'll bet." Shepard grinned. "I take it no one needs medical attention?"

"Nah, a few walking wounded after the crash. Traynor broke her arm and Adam's had some nasty burns, but they're ok, now. The Doc patched Javik up before the crash so he..."

"Wait, what? Javik is with you?"

Joker looked at her in surprise, "You don't remember?" Clearly she didn't so he explained, "I thought you knew? We evac'ed him and Kaidan..."

"Alenko?" Shepard stared at Joker and quickly added, "anyone else?"

"No, just those two. They got caught in an explosion down on Earth, and we were able to get them back here in a shuttle. Shit, sorry Commander, I thought..." he trailed off.

"Huh, I guess we can take them off the MIA list." She smiled tightly.

"Yeah, I guess." Was all Joker offered.

"Ok," she pushed herself away from the workstation, "I'm going outside to get an update on the landing site then you can take us to the rest of the crew."

Joker nodded and she added, "Oh, you'll never guess what ride they gave us to take you home?" At Joker's raised eyebrow, she continued, "Only Major Kelso's ship."

"What? The AJ? How the hell did you pull that one Commander? Hell..." Joker lowered his voice. "The Major isn't here is she?"

"Hell no, she just let me borrow the AJ."

"No way!" Joker shook his head, but when Shepard nodded slowly, he looked at Thane and Garrus before saying, "What the shit happened to the galaxy while we were away?"

Shepard grinned and left the perplexed Joker to head off towards the airlock.

When Garrus moved to follow, Thane touched his arm with a shake of his head to let Garrus know she needed a few moments alone. Joker watched Shepard go with his head tilted to one side. He asked, "So... does she have a limp? Or is she just taking the piss out of me?"

Shepard thought about the losses first, Ken and Gabby, who she had occasionally played Skyllian Five poker with, Diana Allers who's reputation for reporting nothing but the facts was well deserved, and an asset to the war effort, and of course their exceptional doctor, Shepard's gently outspoken friend who could often be found debating deep issues with Adams in the Normandy's mess hall. They had been good friends too, and she suspected the Doctors loss would have hit the Chief hard, along with losing his two best engineers. Shepard also considered each of the fourteen other souls she had fought with, drank with, and wouldn't see again, while she wandered away from the Normandy to rest against a large boulder, not far from the slope she had practically thrown herself down.

Despite the gut wrenching blow that came with so many to mourn, she was delighted to see Joker, and discover there were survivors, after all. At least some good news came out of this. It could have been so much worse.

Grateful that Miranda had kept her silence over the comm, Shepard finally asked, "You get all that Miranda?"

"Yes, Shepard, I did," returned the soft voice in her ear. "They were good people."

"Yeah," she nodded even though Miranda couldn't see her. "What's the status of the landing site?"

"It's nearly cleared. The first team will be on its way to your location soon. Liara and I will bring the rest as soon as the AJ touches down."

"Good work, thank you. Let the pilot know the AJ is cleared to land on your authority. Make sure he keeps the engines running, just in case he needs to cut and run at the first sign of trouble. I want guards posted outside."

"He's already been briefed, Captain."

Shepard laughed, "Of course, he has. Miranda. We're going to have to get you your own ship one day." Shepard grinned at the scoffing chuckle in her ear, before continuing. "Keep me posted if you need to, otherwise, I'll see you soon. Shepard out."

She had time to enjoy the stunning waterfall ahead, vaguely wondering if there might be a chance to get a closer look over the next couple of days, She made a mental note to ask Joker about the terrain, just as the three men exited the Normandy. Walking back to join them, she smiled and Joker said, "Seems you had some fun on the way here, Commander?"

"The boys been filling you in, huh?" She smiled.

"Yeah, good thing we always carry these around," he held up his gun. "And they called me paranoid! Shit I can't wait to tell the guys about you!" He led them around the back of the Normandy, pointing out some of the damage. "That's where that damn ball of whatever it was slammed into us. Chewed our asses, that's for sure. Looks worst this side," he huffed, pointing to an area of the hull which had been ripped away as the engine core partially exploded. It looked like a giant hand had pulled the side of the ship open, as if to peek inside, partially exposing the blackened twisted guts of the core. "The only reason the explosion didn't set off a chain reaction and blow us all to hell was because Adams and EDI managed to force a shutdown in time." Joker gave them time to study the damage before saying, "C'mon, we're over here," waving them away from the ship. Joker lead them down a well trodden path of grass and sand, towards a comfortable looking camp, complete with a smoking fire.

"This is home… at least, where we hang out on days like this, which is most days," he chuckled. Loping towards the camp, he raised his voice, "Hey guys, you will not believe what I just found on the Normandy!"

The team had to walk quickly to keep up with Joker, and as they got closer, heads popped up from whatever the survivors were doing, the sudden buzz of curiosity turned into a rush of excited voices, as they began to stand, then come to greet their rescuers.

Adams was first to pump Shepard's hand. "Damn good to see you again, Commander!" His grin was as wide as the other's, despite their collective shock. Adams was quickly replaced with another happy survivor, and Shepard was hugged and slapped on the shoulder many times. She could hear Garrus greeting everyone, and Thane introducing himself where appropriate. When people realised this was the drell their Commander had mourned for many months, there was confusion mixed with their excited chatter, and Thane briefly explained what had happened to him. Shepard couldn't help grinning. She knew just how annoying it was having to repeat why you're alive, despite reports to the contrary.

"So Commander," came the sharply accented voice, "you came for us. What of the Reapers?"

She looked at Javik who stood expectantly in front of her, and she burst out laughing. Raising her voice she announced, "The Reapers are dead. The war is over. We kicked their asses!"

The cheer drowned out Javik's next words, but she watched him take a step back in surprise as he studied her face. She simply nodded and was rewarded with an almost disbelieving smile from the prothean. Finally she was able to tell him, "Looks like your gonna have to find a new goal in life, Javik. Maybe write a book on the Prothean's with Liara or something. She said it was something she'd like to do." Shepard sympathised with Javik, all his life he had fought the Reapers in his cycle, and again when he woke to this one. It would take the soldier some adjustment to put his old enemy behind him. She knew how that felt herself.

"Shepard."

She turned to the much softer voice of Kaiden, and simply opened her arms to hug him. They didn't speak; she didn't know what to say to him. The Major appeared too overwhelmed to talk. They broke off when Joker returned and she watched as Kaidan approached Thane, almost cautiously before greeting Garrus, warmly.

"EDI and Sam are out shopping." Joker told her. "Oh man, you gotta try the mini mangoes. They grow in these huge bunches, look just like small apples, and taste like mango. They're awesome! Boy, will they be in for a surprise when they get back to camp!" Joker was almost gleeful. "May as well sit down and wait Commander. C'mon."

While most of the camp settled onto chairs or bedrolls, already beginning the long process of catching up with six months worth of news, Thane stood with Adams who was telling him about life on board the Normandy during the war, as well as a little about his service aboard the SR1.

Thane stiffened when he noticed movement in the tree line, a few yards behind where his Siha sat. He soon relaxed though, after a dark haired woman burst out of the shadows, shouting what sounded like, "Commandah?" through his translator, which left him wondering if this was a glitch, or the woman's accent.

"Samantha!" Shepard yelled, delightedly jumping up to run and meet the Comm Specialist with a hug.

Thane grinned at this reunion as widely as everyone else in the camp, but the pleasure on his face swiftly fell away when he saw another figure walking out from the jungle, in a fast march towards the two embracing women. The mech walked quickly.

In one deft movement Thane pushed Adams out of the way, brought his gun to bear, and stepped to one side for a better line of sight. It was no LOKI, that was certain, but there was no doubt this was a mech. It was a sophisticated one and unlike anything he had seen before; perhaps just the right type of mech for the mercs to send in as a scout, and which had now realised its programmers were in trouble.

It was almost on top of Shepard and her companion when Thane bellowed his warning, "Captain!" With the mech's head in his sights, Thane squeezed the trigger.

His shot suddenly went wide. Thane gasped at Garrus, who had slapped his gun away. When Thane swung it back, Joker stood in front of him, arms wide, teeth clenched, almost wincing as his eyes danced between Thane and the rifle barrel. Thane immediately pointed his gun down, away from Joker, aware of the voices yelling at him to stand down. Shepard and Samantha were rushing towards him, and the mech continued to march forward in their wake.

"Shit, man!" Joker seethed, "What is wrong with you?"

Thane looked around the group in confusion, as they eyed him in suspicion. Only Shepard and Garrus, now either side of him, seemed to wear an understanding look on their faces. They told him in unison, "That's EDI!"

"You can't shoot EDI!" Joker insisted.

"It's not a mech, Thane," Shepard said gently, one hand on his arm. With a glare at Garrus, she asked sharply, "You didn't tell him?"

"Me? I..." Garrus huffed, "I thought you had, or Kasumi, at least. I don't know, it didn't come up!"

"I can't believe someone didn't tell him!"

"Well, don't get pissy with me Shepard. It's not like you thought to tell him either, obviously."

"I'm not getting pissy with you, Garrus, and I was in a damn coma, remember? I wasn't exactly chatty for quite a while."

"Well no, but, even so, there's no need to shout at me."

"I am not shou... Oh hell," she took a breath to calm herself, and lowered her voice while offering Garrus a smile, "Nice save, Vakarian."

"That's more like it. And you're welcome."

Thane re-holstered his rifle, and waited for the two of them to finish bickering. Joker wearily stepped aside and put a protective arm around the Normandy's AI, which had been a simple interface on the ship the last time Thane was aboard.

The mech smiled warmly at him and spoke in EDI's voice, "Thane Krios. I was unaware you were still alive."

Completely taken aback, Thane bowed slightly, "I could perhaps say a similar thing to you, EDI?"

"It would not be strictly true," she shrugged in an impressive human-like gesture. "This platform has provided me with a greater flexibility in the tasks I can now perform."

"Hell yeah!" Joker grinned. At EDI's sharp look, he muttered, "Shit, did I just say that out loud?"

Thane blinked, understanding precisely what Joker alluded to, and fought against his brows which wanted to lift in surprise. He searched for the words to convey his deep regret at nearly shooting EDI, but only managed, "I am... so very sorry, EDI, Joker, I... ask your forgiveness for my... over reaction."

With a wave of her hand, EDI smiled, "That is unnecessary, Thane. It appears," she shot Shepard and Garrus a playful scowl, "someone neglected to tell you about this body."

"Er..." Garrus muttered, looking at his feet.

"Sorry, guys," Shepard shrugged. "Just that, I've been asleep and Garrus still has that stick up his ass!"

With that, the tension was gone, replaced with mirth as people snorted with laughter, even Garrus. Thane watched EDI throw her head back in a laugh, and decided she was clearly more human than robot.

"I'm sorry," Shepard told Thane, and he could only smile at her, in awe at her clever and well timed humour. Somehow she made him feel a little better about his assumptive actions.

The group began to settle down again, and Joker was now fired up to tell turian jokes. Thane told Shepard, "I should perhaps have not reacted so quickly."

"It wasn't your fault, Thane. I would have done the same thing. Thanks. I know you were just trying to protect us, protect me," she gave his arm a squeeze.

"Hey, wait a minute," Joker piped up, "What did you say, Thane? Captain?" He looked at Shepard, but it was Garrus who answered.

"Oh yeah, she got promoted," he grinned.

Amidst the congratulations, Joker put his hand on his heart in mock disappointment, laughing, "Aww, shit did we miss having to sit through a boring ceremony and everything?"

"Nope," Shepard grinned, "no time for anything like that."

"Ah shit, Commander, er Captain, uh whatever. You always manage to time your promotions while the shit's hitting the fan, and everyone's too busy flapping for the ceremonial crap, don't you?"

"Oh no," Garrus huffed, rolling his eyes, "I wonder what state the galaxy will have to be in before they decide to make her an admiral!"

Amidst the laughter, Joker reached behind a crate, "I nearly forgot," he held up a small cage, "here's another survivor, Commander. Didn't know what you called him so we went with 'Admiral'. Figured we needed some leadership in the camp.

"My Space Hamster! Wow, thanks guys! Can't believe the little critter is still going."

Thane smiled remembering one of Siha's hospital visits, when she had told him about spotting the creature in what used to be Jack's lair on the Normandy.

_"Oh Thane, you would have laughed. After forty damn frustrating minutes, I got Tali to come and help. But she just squeaked like the damn hamster and refused to go near it, worried its tiny claws might rupture her suit, or something. Oh it was so funny! Then, Adams came down and tried to help, but we just kept bumping into each other, and the damn hamster just kept scuttling by, squeaking as if giving us the finger. We had to give up in the end. I had to try again later, though. I couldn't just leave the little guy running around down there on his own. I got him! After, I dunno, maybe ten minutes... Oh, I'm talking too much, aren't I?" _

_I don't want her smile to fall away, I want to hear more of her laughter. "No, Siha, not at all. I love to hear the sound of your voice. It is always better in person than in my memories..."_

Joker was apologising about the fish which had died while the survivors struggled for days to get some power back to the ship. In the meantime the tank water had cooled down too much for the tropical creatures to survive in.

"Sorry, Commander," Joker offered, again.

"Captain," corrected EDI.

"Whatever," he shrugged.

It might seem strange for some to hear how a few exotic fish were considered worthy of a mention among the Normandy casualty list. But aside from knowing how much Shepard had enjoyed the relaxing sight of her fish, they were living creatures, deserving of respect. Thane approved of this.

"So," asked Garrus, eyeing Javik, "what did you do with the fish? You just flush them down the toilet, or did you eat them..?"

There was another flurry of happy reunions and introductions upon the arrival of Jack, Zaeed, Kasumi, and Mordin, along with half the tech team, just after Miranda's voice reported the AJ had landed, and she would be along soon with Liara and the rest of the techs.

After giving the group time to greet each other, Shepard led two human and two turian techs away to get one job over and done with, as quickly as possible. No words were needed at the gravesite, and Shepard was grateful when the female turian took one look and purred, "We'll take care of them for you, sir."

Shepard squeezed the tech's arm in gratitude and left them to the grim job of bringing her dead crewmates home.

By the time she got back to camp she was hot and sweaty so, ignoring Thane's look of disapproval, she stripped out of her armour, finding a crate to dump it into. She re-holstered her Hand Cannon at her hip, although it was a precaution she felt pretty sure was unnecessary. Shepard noticed the sea had cut in a small bay, a short walk from the camp, and decided to investigate its strip of sandy beach. Strolling down the easy slope to the curving shore she said, "I'm closing my comms link. Raise me if you need to," switching off before anyone could answer.

_Across the sea._

She stood at the water's edge looking across the ocean to what looked like a distant shore line opposite.

_Maybe it's just my imagination._

Looking down at her boots, firmly planted in the sand just out of reach of the gentle waves, Shepard bent to put her palm in the water.

_Holy hell, that's cold!_

At least it was to her warm fingers. Certainly, the water wasn't as warm as she had expected under this planets hot sun. It killed her half considered notion of going for a swim before they left. On a sudden whim she sat to pull off her boots, whipping off her socks and stuffing them into a boot, before standing to roll the legs of her uniform up to her knees. Doing what she suddenly realised she needed to do, connect to the sea, Shepard gasped as she stepped into the cold waves. The water quickly covered her ankles, causing the ache in her damaged foot to become almost unbearable. She hissed, standing her ground until the water temperature became tolerable and she could relax her shoulders. She took in the magnificent view of the mountain range to her right, grey jutting peaks sharply contrasting with the vivid green waterfalls they lay behind.

Since joining the alliance Shepard had the privilege of seeing many beautiful planets. Unfortunately, it was rare to have the time to enjoy them, as she had trash to take out, or she was nuking them, before having to rush off somewhere else. It was a shame; she had always enjoyed places like this. Maybe her love of nature came from growing up on a farm, and her particular enjoyment of a beach was due to living so far inland of Mindoir.

These days, a natural shoreline, the sea, had taken on a special significance in her life. Shepard had never really had any religious beliefs, she was a scientist, a soldier, had become a spacer. Her faith was placed on technology to shield her, biotics and weapons to repel attacks, bulkheads to keep her safe from the vacuum of space. Yet, she was no cynic either. Not even after returning from the dead with no memory of an afterlife. She didn't really believe in anything, just hoped there was something. She found theological discussions stimulating, other's beliefs interesting.

_You must choose._

It wasn't the voice of a ten year old avatar child, just a memory. Shepard had not been able to confirm if the boy had existed in the first place, or if she had actually seen him die when the Reapers attacked those evacuating shuttles. Unfortunately, it was likely he had been real, and the Reapers had taken his emotive image from her mind to create the avatar that definitely never existed outside of her head. It was hard to admit, even to herself, how close she had come to making the wrong decision. Confused, badly beaten, bones broken, half deaf from an explosion, and badly burned, not to mention, as she discovered later, shot. The Reapers had almost convinced her to sacrifice herself, in order to save the geth and EDI. Synthesis they called it.

_What a crock of shit._

Shepard wondered again what might have happened if she had failed to choose Destroy, the one choice which seem most like a red herring, which no doubt the Reapers hoped she would believe, and thus reject. Would controlling the Reapers have given her the opportunity to destroy them? Or would she have simply watched the end of this cycle with maniacal laugher, having been converted into a Reaper or something? Could Synthesis really have seen the geth walking around with biological faces instead of light bulb heads? Or would biotics find themselves sprouting bits of technology along their bodies, half machines with glowing eyes?

She sniggered, shaking her head. Some theorists believed this, but Shepard thought it was all bull. The only war she was fighting at that point was for her own mind. She believed any other choice, than the one she had made, would have opened some kind of protective barrier her psyche had somehow thrown up a mental version of the geth barriers she had seen Liara trapped inside, that first time they met. Had she chosen anything else, the Reapers, or one of them at least, would have lived on inside her. It would probably have turned her into a breathing puppet so she could indoctrinate others until this cycle finally came to an end. Either that, or untill it was time for the new biological Reapers to rise up for the next cycle, if there was anything to rise against by then, which seemed unlikely.

It was Anderson who had pulled the final switch and killed the Reapers, not her. But if she hadn't mentally chosen to destroy them, it may have been all for nothing anyway. They would never know for sure. Among the theorists who believed this to be the most likely scenario, some suggested the explosion she had experienced at the end had actually been Anderson's last moments. Somehow their minds had remained connected right up to the Admiral's death.

Shepard curled her toes into the sand, enjoying the sensation of the tiny grains as they moved lightly across the top of her feet.

Squinting out to sea, she whispered, "Thank you, Kalahira, for not taking Thane, or me, just yet. But... look after the doc for me, please, and all the other heroes who have crossed the sea." It wasn't really a prayer, more an acknowledgement of how her own tentative beliefs had shifted slightly. She hadn't suddenly decided omnipotent gods watched over them, granting prayers or protection, nor had Thane been a particular influence. But something had happened to her in that Collector ship, while she waited to die. A lesson in how hanging onto a belief, however unscientific, or crazy, really could work miracles.

Of all the gods and goddesses of Thane's religion, the names of Amonkira, Arashu, and especially Kalahira, had come to represent the fact there was always hope, no matter what she faced, no matter the odds. Life on this side of the shore was not done with her yet, nor was she done with it, not by a long way.

Even if the gods and goddesses of the universe didn't really exist, and surviving the Collector ship was just another reprieve from her eventual return to simply no longer existing anymore, Shepard found herself comforted by having an occasional chat with the deities of a very old drell religion. It was her secret. Or at least, she assumed it was; you could never tell with Thane. Sometimes he seemed to read her like an omni-tool scan.

Shepard smiled up at the twin planets dominating the clear sky, the sun bathing them in large silver crescents. She could see vast craters on the nearest world, vanishing into its invisible dark side. With a deep soothing breath she closed her eyes, and turned her face towards the sun, listening to the sea gently lapping the shore.

Not wanting to creep up on her, Thane had halted half way down the slope and found himself unable to stop watching her for a few moments. He would forever remember every highlight the sun cast in her hair, every lazy lap of the water around her ankles, one of which was still heavily marked with livid scars.

He smiled when she took off her Alliance tunic, balled it up, and threw it over her shoulder, allowing let it flop into the sand just out of the oceans reach. The sun reflected brightly off her white vest, making Thane blink for a moment as he slowly ambled towards her.

"Does this planet remind you of Virmire?" He asked as he approached, pleased to see the smile on her lips as he walked into the water beside her, still wearing his boots.

Slowly, Shepard lowered her face away from the sun and opened her eyes, squinting at first, before turning towards him.

"It doesn't remind me of Virmire, this place is very different. But it does make me think of Virmire, how did you know?"

"You told me," Thane smiled down at her. "When we were on Zorya for Zaeed and we stopped by that waterfall. You said whenever you saw something naturally beautiful on a planet you visited, it always made you think of Virmire."

"I remember," she nodded, now looking past Thane at the waterfall in the distance. "I was just thinking, whenever I end up in a beautiful place, it usually ends in me blowing the crap out of it. Sometimes I wonder if that waterfall on Zorya survived the refinery going up in flames."

"It did." At her questioning look, Thane explained, "I saw from the shuttle as we lifted off. The waterfall remained untouched."

"Wow," she slid her hand into his and squeezed as she looked out to the sea, "good to know."

"Perhaps you can take me to Virmire one day, and show me the planet you described as... among the most beautiful environments you have ever seen."

Shepard scoffed, "Not much point, got nuked remember? It's just a crater now."

"Only a small area. There are many hundreds of kilometres of similar coastal areas as you described, Siha."

"How do you... Oh! You looked it up."

Thane nodded, "Shortly after we returned to the Normandy, with Zaeed."

She smiled, wrapping her free arm around his and laying her head casually against his shoulder.

Thane also smiled, looking across the sea and enjoying the warmth of both this planet, and of his warrior-angel, who he felt so blessed to be beside.

After a comfortable silence, she asked, "Should I feel at such peace? Such... joy? At least, in some ways... Even though some of my friends are buried close by?"

"Do you believe they would not want you to feel such things, Siha?"

"Well, no..."

"Then surely your feelings would bring them joy and comfort, as much as they do to those of us, still... this side of the sea."

She smiled up at him, then sighed. "I suppose... I didn't really think about it like that. Ah, hell, I'll probably cry later."

"I'll be here if you don't want to cry alone," Thane said gently into her hair.

Suddenly she lifted her head from his shoulder, as if remembering something, and with a small smile turned to him, "Thane," she wrapped an arm around his waist, holding his gaze with a deep love in her eyes.

He wanted to kiss that widening smile on her lips, but he waited, heart

pounding as he recalled that sentence she didn't finish in the shuttle bay.

The tip of her tongue played briefly across her lips, and she took a small breath, "I really want to tell you something."

"Oh? I am listening, Siha." Thane smiled.

"Miranda's here, Shepard," Garrus burst in over the comm.

Her smile fell, "Oh, you have _seriously_ got to be_ kidding_ me!" Half annoyed, half laughing, she linked her fingers together on the back of her neck, and put her forehead onto Thane's chest. Before he could wrap his arms around her she pushed herself away to retrieve her boots and tunic, grumbling continuously. She was off in a fast stomp back up the slope, before Thane could offer to unburden her.

He paused to turn back towards the water, to look across the ocean, before Shepard called over her shoulder, "C'mon, I've got something to show you!"

Thane turned to follow his Siha, leaving the sea behind him.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven.

_The good Shepard._

Apart from the empty fish tank, and a generally dishevelled shape despite being cleaned up after the crash, the Normandy's cabin looked much the same as Thane remembered.

"You ready for this?" Shepard enquired, pausing over the rectangular case she had placed on the foot of the bed they had once shared, so long ago.

Curious, Thane nodded and knelt beside her. When she opened the lid to reveal its contents he blinked, looking down at the two long pieces of sharp silver. He had to force away the memory of how that object felt passing through his body, the pain it caused him, physically and emotionally. Thane took a deep breath before stating, evenly, "Lang's sword."

"Yes." Shepard studied his face a moment, unable to read his emotions. "You ok, Thane?"

"I... yes, I am." A slow smile spread across his lips. "This is... quite a trophy, my Siha," he said proudly, and kissed her deeply.

Thane carried the case out of the Normandy's airlock with a sense of pride. This was not his trophy, a prize he had earned, but it had been won for him, and as such, this once hateful symbol of destruction now represented an angel's vengeance, a triumph over evil, and in some ways, a testimony of love. He accepted this gift not because of her insistence that he take the sword, but because of all it represented. This weapon, now as broken as he used to be, was more symbolic to Thane than even he fully understood, at this moment. It would become one of his most treasured possessions. Thane had few possessions - his weapons, a few clothes, and more recently those items he had kept of Siha's. Now he owned something entirely impractical and beyond repair, rendered useless by his Siha's wrath. The two pieces didn't even fit together properly, due to the missing tiny shards, broken away as it was snapped in half. Yet this was no pointless trinket, but a wonderful gift he would treasure forever.

It would take time for Thane to find the words to convey his gratitude, so he could fully explain to his Siha what this object meant to him. For now he needed time to reflect, a moment of solitude. She had understood and he left her gathering up a few items from her cabin, to carry Kai Lang's broken sword back to the AJ.

The next two days flew by in a flurry of activity between the Normandy site and the AJ's landing zone. Shepard had found herself either too busy, or too exhausted, to mourn her fallen crew. Their remains had been carefully removed from their graves, and placed into individual caskets as each dog tag was scanned and the data uploaded into each casket's tiny memory core, before being carried away.

It had been depressing to watch.

Now the graves had been filled in and were just seventeen dips in the earth, a mere footnote to what had once lain there. Like the now disassembled campsite, it would be left for nature to quickly remove all trace of the crew's presence.

While all this was going on, the engineers had been crawling all over the Normandy, and Shepard had read each damage report as it came in, growing ever more depressed. She still hung onto the hope the Normandy was salvageable, but her main worry was that the overstretched, and under resourced Alliance, would declare her ship not even worthy of salvaging for scrap. She understood they had bigger issues than the return of one broken ship, but she wasn't going to let this one go without a fight, and was indeed preparing for just that with Admiral Hackett, while she sat waiting at her quarters terminal, chewing on her thumb nail, as Thane quietly cleaned his rifle at the small table near their bed.

Shepard quickly dropped her hand into her lap when Hackett's smiling face appeared on the view screen.

"Good work on the rescue Captain. I hear you had a little merc trouble?"

"Thank you, sir, and nothing we couldn't handle."

Hackett nodded, his face falling into a sombre mask, "I was sorry to hear about Doctor Chakwas. She was a fine woman. I knew her father when I was a young captain. They were all good people and their loss is felt deeply."

Shepard appreciated the Admiral's sincerity, as well as his swiftness in getting back to business when he picked up a data pad. "So we know what caused the Normandy to crash land."

"Yes sir, and about the Normandy..."

Hackett didn't look up when he cut her off with his hand, "The engineers are still over there, is that correct?"

"Yes, their final reports will be in tomorrow morning."

Hackett nodded, putting the pad down and sitting back in his chair, "Good enough."

"Sir..."

This time he cut her off with both hands, "I know what you're going to ask Captain, and no, we don't have the resources to tow the Normandy home."

Expecting this, Shepard opened her mouth to make the first of many arguments she had formed over the last two days.

The Admiral had no intention of giving her the opportunity. "However," his eyes crinkled into a smile, "having read all the reports we have received on the condition of the Normandy, so far, the quarians have offered to send a salvage team to see if they are able to retrieve the ship and bring her home. No promises, Shepard, but if the quarians can't do it, then no one can."

She was unable to suppress her pleasure, and relief, when she offered a heartfelt "Thank you, Admiral! Permission to stay with the Normandy until it's on its way home?"

Thane's head snapped up, before he settled back into his task again when Hackett said, in a tone not to be argued with, "Permission denied."

Again, she expected this and tried to focus on the good news, while she told him, "Understood, sir."

The Admiral softened, "The quarians are already en route to your location, and I have been asked to inform you they expect to be with you at eleven hundred galaxy standard, tomorrow."

"Who is heading the team?" Shepard wondered if she might recognise the name of the quarian, but didn't expect the beaming smile Hackett gave her before he answered.

"I believe you have met him before, actually, and he is another person who seems to have caught the ability to return from the dead." Letting that hang for a moment, he finally put Shepard out of her confusion by adding, "Someone I believe you know - Captain Kal'Reegar."

"What?" She was stunned, believing he had died on Palaven with his squad when they sacrificed themselves to repair and protect a critical communications tower the Turian Hierarchy needed.

"I don't know the details, but it seems those reports of Captain Kal'Reegar's death jumped the gun a little. He was evac'd off Palaven, having been declared dead a little early. He, and one other member of his squad, somehow survived their injuries and infection."

Shepard barked a laugh as she shook her head, "And they say lightening doesn't strike twice." At Hackett's confusion, she explained, "When I first met him on Haestrom he was in a bad way, pretty much resigned to dying of infection. It only took him a week to bounce back, by all accounts. Thank you Admiral, 'Reegar is a fine marine. I'm happy to hear he survived, after all."

"He speaks very highly of you, too, Shepard." Hackett smiled. "Good work Captain, I'll be in touch." At that the Admiral's face vanished.

"Oh my gods!" Shepard turned to Thane, eyes as wide as her grin, "You remember Kal'Reegar, don't you? You met him at Tali's trial...? Oh, of course you remember!"

"I do." Thane smiled, looking at her while his hands continued to put his gun back together with well practiced movements. "I am glad he is another among us who has managed to defy death. I look forward to meeting him, again."

"Hell yeah!" Shepard sprang up from her chair. "I can't wait to tell the crew!" She took a few quick steps towards Thane to plant a kiss on his upturned lips, then dashed towards the door grinning. "Joker's going to shit himself when he finds out the Normandy's going home..! Well, probably... He'll want to throw a party!" Shepard shot Thane a grin over her shoulder as she entered the mess, then shouted, "Oh my god, guys, guess what? Kal'Reegar is alive and you'll..." the door closed but Thane heard delighted cheers just moments later. He grinned, leaving the gun where it was to follow Shepard and join the celebrations.

The following morning Thane woke and knew he was alone before he had finished turning over to hold his Siha, or opened his eyes to look around the cabin. He stretched then sank back onto the mattress with a sigh of contentment. This was a feeling he was still getting used to.

Checking his omni-tool he found a simple message from Shepard which stated:

_Had to work, I'll find you later. Love, Siha. x_

It was a little cryptic, but Thane couldn't help smiling at the signature she used.

Making his way to the small shower cubicle Thane tried to ignore the little voice of caution in his head, feeling it was nothing more than an annoying habit left over from his many years as an assassin.

He'd only just stepped out of the shower when a voice came over the ships comm, breaking into his happy solitude.

"Thane? Are you awake? It's Miranda, here."

"I am, Miranda," he said to the cubicle ceiling, stilled by the strain in the woman's voice. Holding his towel in one hand, Thane ignored the tiny rivulets of water running off his scales.

"Ah, great. Sorry to disturb you, but do you know if Shepard went to the Normandy site this morning or not?"

Thane told her about the message Shepard had left him, while wondering if that voice in his head had perhaps been trying to tell him something important, after all.

"Well she's not on the AJ and I can't raise her on comms." Miranda said.

"What about one of the techs on site?" Thane asked, leaving the bathroom while he dried himself in a cursory way.

"There aren't any on site, now, they finished last night. If Shepard is over there, then she's on her own. It's probably nothing, but it's a bit strange I can't raise her."

"I'll be through to the mess in a moment," Thane informed as he threw the towel over the back of a chair, and quickly got dressed in his leathers.

The early sun dappled leaf patterns along the path underfoot, as Shepard strolled the pleasant traverse to the Normandy site. In some ways, it was quite emotive knowing this would be her last chance to say goodbye to her ship. Hopefully, it was only to bid it a bon voyage until she saw it again. It would also be a last goodbye to this beautiful place, which had sustained the Normandy's survivors for so many months.

Shepard was fighting opposing emotions over her final task ahead, and the real reason she had slipped out to be alone before any of her team had woken up. Initially, she had been looking forward to doing this, but as she got closer and closer to the Normandy, Shepard had begun to feel an odd sense of trepidation. She was glad she was alone as each step seemed to bring her closer to many overwhelming emotions she couldn't quite identify. She had stepped onto this path feeling light and happy, but by the time she reached the Normandy, Shepard felt weighed down and full of sadness.

Even so, she still found herself missing the steep slope from the small cliff top. The techs had made light work of turning the dangerous slope into something more easily traversable, making it easier to transfer equipment between the two ships as well as carry the caskets to the AJ. A part of Shepard wanted to throw herself down that slope again, this time whooping with joy at the silliness and exhilaration over this small danger - maybe slightly bigger danger, if she included her ankle - knowing no one was around to watch.

There was no reason to expect any problems, but Shepard had her Hand Cannon strapped to her thigh, just as a precaution. Out of habit, and partly to try and occupy her mind away from her sinking mood, she kept an eye on the tree line and around the Normandy's hull, as she approached the ships airlock.

With a sigh she looked down at the 17 empty graves. before turning away and opening the outer airlock door with the touch of her hand. Shepard paused, ostensibly to listen for any movement inside the ship. Too many years of training would allow nothing else, and also because she was considering retreat. She didn't have to go through with what had once seemed like a good idea, not so long ago. Now it was beginning to seem like this idea could be a close second on her list of things she didn't want to do; something only slightly more appealing than unarmed combat with a Thresher Maw.

With a deep breath Shepard stepped onto the Normandy, giving the cockpit a quick visual sweep before walking through the silent CIC. The techs had cleaned up the mess of wires and uploaded all the information they could get from the Normandy's systems. All except her personal terminal, which she now eyed with a thumping heart, as she passed by.

The gloomy War Room elicited bittersweet memories, especially the small Quantum Entanglement comm's room. She had spoken often to Anderson's avatar here while he was 'fighting the good fight' back on Earth. Shepard had come in here only to be sure it was empty, as she knew it would be, and because she was stalling. She eyed the small avatar platform, which was now as dead as her old Captain and dear friend, and realised she didn't want to be in here, anymore. Shepard retreated through the war room and back to the CIC.

Her heart began to beat faster, again, as she approached her terminal and it's eternally flashing green light. It was the only movement on the whole ship and was, in some ways, quite hypnotic.

_Indoctrination._

Shepard shivered, playing with the idea of visiting Life Support one more time. With a huff, she decided not to drag this out any longer. Shepard was disappointed this little adventure wasn't to be the happy sojourn she had expected and hoped for. It was hard to understand why she felt such trepidation - it was just an unread message, nothing more.

The last time she had stood at this terminal was to send a message of her own. This was just before she left the Normandy for what was to be this ship's final battle after dropping her and the team on Earth. It had been a short letter of goodbye, just in case she didn't make it, rather than because of the fatalistic attitude she had carried around with her since Thane had died. Despite this, there had still been some optimism left inside her, back then. That is, until most of her positive thinking had been literally battered out of her once she had gone through the conduit. She had written just one mail, to the Admiralty, and attached her glowing reports for everyone who served on the Normandy. It was the last thing she did before leaving for Earth.

With a surprisingly shaky hand, Shepard finally ended that little light's blinking for good, and opened her unread messages file. It was a short list. A message from someone called Sarah who's N7 husband was missing. Sarah just hoped Shepard could maybe find something out about his whereabouts, or at least make sure her husband's dog tags would be returned, but mostly she wanted to thank Shepard for everything she was doing for the galaxy. There was some junk mail from Morlan's shop, not one of Shepard's favourite stores on the Citadel.

The following two messages gave her real pause. One was from Diana Allers, the other from Doctor Karin Chakwas. Shepard blew a breath out slowly, and downloaded everything into her omni-tool to sort through later. She was feeling emotional enough right now, without reading messages from dead people.

_Finally she came to the last mail on the list, the one that had begun the blinking of her terminal light all those months ago. It had been sent only a few short hours after she had arrived on Earth. This was the one mail she had come here to read, Thane's letter._

_She thought reading it at her terminal, where she was supposed to have read it so long ago, would be a nice thing to do. Now Shepard thought she was crazy, and wished she had just read it as soon as Liara told her it was available. She had expected this would be an emotional exercise, but wasn't prepared for the emotional storm she felt brewing inside her. The last two days had seen her so busy, there hadn't been time to think beyond her duties. Now everything was done and they were ready to go, just waiting for the quarians to arrive. _

_There was nothing but peace and silence around her, a chance to think and an opportunity to read what should be something very pleasant. Instead her mind lingered over those now empty graves outside. She remembered her last moments with Anderson, both real and imagined. Then Shepard thought about the last few weeks since she woke up to a galaxy at peace, but feeling like she was still at war._

_In an almost perfect impression of Mordin, Shepard sucked in a long deep breath, and opened the message from Thane._

_While Thane dressed he searched his memory for any clues which may explain Siha's unusual absence. It struck him as strange to realise someone always knew where a Captain was, or could at least quickly find out. He had spent ten years in the shadows. Quite literally no one knew his whereabouts for most of his adult life._

_"Are you ok, Siha?"_

_Thane recalled asking her this question twice after they had boarded the crashed Normandy. The second time she had paled at seeing the damage in Life Support. This was shortly after he had noticed his name on the Normandy's memorial wall, and it had taken him aback. He had failed to consider he might see his own name on a list of the heroic dead. He felt honoured, but Siha made it clear how much she hated seeing it there, even now._

_The first time she had turned ashen, however, Thane had been left to wonder what had passed through her mind._

_She stops, skin pale, brow furrowed. I follow her gaze but only see the door of the lift. Under its solid green light, another, smaller light, flashes its diffused reflection from the terminal opposite. "Are you ok, Siha?" I pull her out of her brief hypnosis and she smiles up at me tightly, nodding, before moving forward..._

_With a sudden rush of understanding Thane pushed the memory away, pulled his boots on, and entered the mess hall. It was quiet at this time of the morning, and only Joker and Miranda occupied a table, with Garrus prowling between them, already dressed for battle._

_Joker grinned, "Oh hey, Thane. I guess the cuddly assassin is here to rescue his damsel in distress... again." This elicited a 'not now' look from Garrus._

_Thane said, "I believe I know where Shepard is and that she is fine. I will go to the Normandy now to be certain and, Garrus, I would prefer to go alone." _

_"Now look..."_

_Thane held a hand up to cut him off, "Please, trust me Garrus. I would not allow any harm to come to Shepard, would I?"_

_Garrus marched around in a frustrated circle, unable to argue Thane's point._

_"Seriously Garrus," Joker scoffed, "would you just take out the stick already? If we could survive on this planet all alone for six months, I'm pretty sure the Commander can manage to stay out of trouble for a couple of hours. I mean c'mon..." Joker snorted then turned to Thane, "So what gives? She forget her handbag or something?"_

_"I suspect Shepard simply wanted to take a last look at the Normandy before we left." Thane offered this half-truth in a desire to reassure them, while keeping Shepard's confidence._

_"Yeah, I get that," Joker nodded, his smile fading, "said goodbye to her myself yesterday."_

_"Stay in contact," was the only thing Miranda offered, clearly still rattled by not being able to contact Shepard over the comm._

_Garrus, who had finally stopped pacing, huffed, "And you can tell her from me, I'm really annoyed with her for going off without telling us!"_

_Joker giggled, "Yeah, tell her to leave us a note next time. Maybe something like; 'I'm going out for a pack of cigarettes, I might be some time...'" When no one laughed, Joker rolled his eyes, "Or, just tell her Garrus has got that stick up his ass, again."_

_Thane simply nodded at Miranda and made his way to the lift, pleased to have reassured the trio enough so they wouldn't make a fuss, which would likely result in embarrassing Shepard. He wasn't worried for her safety. As Joker had pointed out in his own inimitable way, this was a benign planet, especially now the brief visit by the mercs had been abruptly ended. However, Thane felt some trepidation as to the emotional struggles his Siha may be facing, right now. After all, she was still recovering from the emotional trauma of the last few weeks, and had yet to deal with her most recent grief._

_Though he was unsure what he could do to help, or even if his help would be welcomed, Thane left the AJ to go to his Siha._

_I love you._

_I will await you in our usual place._

_Thane._

_Huerta Memorial Hospital, by the window of the patient lounge, where she had often found him during her visits to the Citadel._

_For long moments, Shepard stared at the screen, a hand over her mouth, fighting against the tears she knew would come. She believed reading this out of date letter shouldn't be so overwhelming. Yet, her heart felt as broken as when she had read his goodbye letter, in which he had thanked her for awakening him, confessed his belief in his own unworthiness, and promised to wait for her across the sea. _

_Waves of hot emotion she didn't want to feel crashed over her, threatening to drown her. It was as if this letter, this happy news, which should have reversed the terrible loss she had suffered. It encompassed all the other losses she had woken up to many weeks ago, beginning with the death of Anderson, and still, potentially, to end with James who was her last crew member still M.I.A._

_So many of those deaths she was responsible for. Her orders, her actions, shaped the fate of her crew's lives. Yet, Thane had lived despite her inaction, her failure to do a thing to save him, to even try. Unlike Koylat, who had even gambled his own freedom to save his father._

_Despite Shepard's deep gratitude and joy that Thane had survived, in many ways it turned her universe on its head. Everything she knew about the galaxy, a vast knowledge gained over so many years endlessly traversing it, had somehow lost its meaning now, and this new, almost perfect universe, was damn difficult to come to terms with._

_It used to be so simple. Kill the bad guys, save the galaxy, have a little fun in between. Now it was all about swatting merc bands, tidying up dead Reaper trash, mourning so many deaths, and being alive and in love with a real future ahead to look forward to. It was damn confusing!_

_Shepard's tears finally started to fall when she began to read Thane's letter again._

_Thane made swift work of the traverse between the two ships and had paused at the Normandy's airlock, to offer a small prayer that Siha would not hear the slight noise of the door as it opened, assuming she was in there. He had no wish to disturb her. When the sounds of her heart wrenching sobs reached Thanes ears, it was all he could do to stop himself going straight to her._

_He looked down, blinking as he fought off his strong urge to enter the Normandy, before forcing his feet to carry him back down the slope and away from the ship._

_"Miranda?" Thane's voice gave no hint of his own distress, as he stood with a finger at his ear to manually activate the comm._

_"Here, Thane."_

_"Shepard is fine."_

_"Good to know. What's she doing over there? Does she need a hand with anything?"_

_"No thank you, Miranda. She is..." Thane considered his words carefully, "going through a few last minute things she needed to do personally."_

_There was a moment of silence over the comm link as Miranda considered his words before she accepted, if not entirely understood, the situation. "All right, fair enough. Thanks, Thane."_

_"Would you inform me when Kal'Reegar is in orbit, please?" _

_Miranda understood Thane's unspoken request for solitude, and that it was possible they may not be returning to the AJ just yet, "Will do. Miranda out."_

_Pleased the conversation had been brief, Thane returned to the Normandy._

_Shepard stood by her terminal, her hand over her mouth now, muffling the sounds that broke his heart, as did the sight of her tears. They flowed down her cheeks, spilling over the back of her hand and falling, until each one shattered against the workstation she leaned against._

_He moved forward slowly, silently, keeping to the shadows, before pausing at the CIC steps when she hitched in a breath and whispered, "I love you, too."_

_Thane's heart broke for her, and soared for her, all at the same time, while it hammered in his chest. She sniffled, wiping at her eyes with the sleeves of her tunic, before refocusing all her attention back on the terminal screen. Despite the gloom, Thane watched his Siha's eyes flicker back and forth as she read his letter._

_Hope is not lost._

_From: Thane Krios. _

_Siha._

_Please forgive this unexpected and no doubt shocking news, but I had to let you know, I am alive! It's a long story and one I hope to tell you in person soon, but the main thing is, I have new lungs and a longevity I had not thought possible. Perhaps it is selfish to hope you would still want to share with me this new life I have been granted? It pains me to know how much you suffered, by having to say goodbye to everything we had, as you watched me take what should have been my final breaths. I can only beg you're forgiveness for the grief I have brought upon you, and the shock you must be feeling, now, as you read this letter._

_But I would not be so selfish in asking you to come and see me. I know the war still rages and you are very much needed elsewhere. What I wouldn't give to be at your side right now, to protect you with everything that I am. I can only promise to join you as soon as I am recovered, and well enough to be more than a burden to you._

_What I must tell you is; __please __take care of yourself, Siha. The thought of you crossing the sea, only to discover I broke my final vow to you, is an unfathomable pain I can barely endure. Only the cherished memories of our time together are holding my mind intact, while my body regains its strength. _

_More than anything, I pray I will see you again._

_By the grace given me by the Goddess Arashu, I bid her divine protection to you, my warrior-angel, my Siha, to succeed in your destiny, for she has already given you hope when all seemed lost. I pray your path stays lit through the coming darkness and that it may, eventually, lead back to me._

_Wherever you are, you carry my heart with you, and whatever happens, it will be yours forever._

_I love you._

_I will await you in our usual place._

_Thane._

_The dam that had been holding Shepard's grief in check since finding the Normandy, finally burst, and Thane's word's blurred on the screen, again. Her tears were not just for those gone forever from her life, but also for the one who returned so unexpectedly. The pain in Thane's message, as he delivered what should have been joyous news, was heartbreaking._

_Though she tried, her grief was unstoppable and she covered her mouth again to muffle her sobbing, even though there was no one to hear. It wasn't the white-hot agony Thane's death had wrought upon her; instead this was a deep aching sadness, though no less overwhelming. Clinging onto the edge of the workstation, all of her emotions poured out in fast hot tears, from deep within her heart._

_Her knees buckled and suddenly Thane was there, scooping her up into his arms. Her hand briefly, automatically, reached down towards her gun as she gasped her surprise, then wrapped around him. She clung on as tightly as he held her._

_For many minutes he said nothing while she sobbed into his neck, damp with her tears, while his own silently rolled down his cheeks._

_They just held onto each other._

_Shepard balled a fist to pound it against him once, as she said, "Don't you __ever__ leave me, again!"_

_"I won't," he whispered, firmly, holding her against him and repeating, in a low rumble she could feel against her cheek, "I won't. I promise."_

_Slowly, her muscles relaxed and finally she lifted her head from Thane's chest. She was about to use a sleeve to dry her damp cheeks again, but Thane reached into his coat and produced a tissue, which she took with a small, breathy laugh before blowing her nose._

_When she finally looked up at him, it was with a sheepish expression, which quickly melted away when she saw nothing but love, compassion, and understanding on his face. Shepard's tears threatened to spill again, and as if to distract her, Thane gently led her to the top of the galaxy map platform and lowered her down to sit before settling beside her._

_Taking her hand, Thane ducked his head slightly in order to catch her eye. When she looked at him, he smiled. "I love you, too, Siha."_

_A plethora of emotions crossed her face in seconds, before she snatched her hand away from his, just long enough to complain, "Quads! You heard that? I said that out loud? Fuck! That wasn't how I..." she shook her head, "You have got to be __kidding__ me!" Shepard huffed and shoved her hand back into his._

_"It was a truly wonderful thing to hear, despite the pain you feel."_

_After a deep sigh she offered him a small smile, "It's not you, not your letter, I mean. I expected it to... but it's not that, not really..." _

_"I understand. My message from the past has brought with it many old emotions, and on top of a particularly difficult few days."_

_Nodding Shepard slumped against him in relief. After a moment she asked, "I've never really told you about the war have I?"_

_"Facts, but nothing really personal. No, Siha. I had assumed it was... difficult for you to talk about."_

_"Yes."_

_"Then perhaps sometime in the future, when you're ready."_

_Shepard considered this a moment before a thought occurred, and she sat up to look at him, "I'm sorry about EDI. I completely forgot you didn't know."_

_Thane rumbled a low laugh, flicking a dismissive hand, "It is of no consequence, no harm done. Ultimately, it was good to see her, face to face. Knowing of your affection towards the AI I should perhaps have realised, when you didn't seem too concerned about EDI not being on-line after we boarded the Normandy."_

_"Do you know about Legion? I can't remember..." She trailed off at Thane's nod._

_"He sacrificed himself to bring his people back together with the quarians and stop the war between them."_

_"Yeah," she agreed sadly, "that pretty much covers it. Do you know the last thing he said before he died? 'Keelah se'lai'," she sighed. "Tali thought he had finally reached full sentience in those last moments, but I believe he got there long before he died. He even asked if his unit had a soul..." Shepard frowned. "We shared a few tears over his death. Well, I assume Tali did, kind'a hard to tell what's going on behind their masks. Hell," she sniggered, "it must be hard having to find a clean room, or risk contamination just to blow your damn nose!" Shepard's smile was brief. "You liked Legion, didn't you. Thane?"_

_"I never knew him well, unfortunately, but yes, I did like him, and he was an impressive marksman."_

_"Oh yeah, he got those husks off our backs didn't he? Hell, I thought it was us he was shooting at, until I turned around and saw those damn things creeping up behind us." Shepard's emotions prowled around a no man's land between grief and mirth. "After he died, it was, kind'a funny in a way. Tali and I were in shock, looking at Legion's dead platform, his body. I was trying not to cry and was about to go to him when Tali grabbed my arm, really tight. When I looked up, oh I swear Thane," she giggled, "we crapped ourselves! This bloody great Geth Prime was marching towards us. It didn't kill us, obviously, and I guess I hoped, just for a second, that somehow it was Legion, but when it wasn't I felt really pissed off at that damn Prime. Even after he told the quarians there was a place back on their home world for them, I just felt... I dunno... frustrated."_

_At Thane's questioning look she explained, "Well, even I know you can't punch a Prime!" _

_She sniggered, Thane shook his head, "Indeed," he agreed._

_Shepard's smile quickly fell into a frown. "Still can't believe Tali's gone. I missed her funeral, hell everyone's funeral's, feels weird. Dammit... so many dead." The tears came again, this time rolling quietly down her cheeks, until she used the tissue to wipe them away. Yet, Shepard was also able to smile when she asked, "Have you ever seen a quarian drunk, Thane?"_

_Realising this was not a rhetorical question, Thane answered, "One or two, yes."_

_She sniggered, telling him about the time she had found Tali in Kasumi's old room, bent over the bar, and sucking alcohol through a straw. "She was so pissed! She insisted on calling it an 'emergency induction port', though she could barely slur the words out. In the end, me and Garrus had to wait until she finally passed out on the bar so we could carry her to bed. I tell you, them little quarians are heavy in their damn suits! Oh hell she had the best sense of humour, didn't you think?"_

_"Hmm, it was certainly... dry."_

_"Dry? Well that and acerbic, sarcastic... although," she snorted with laughter, "I think she met her match with Javik."_

_Thane's brow shot up in surprise._

_"Yeah, I know, I don't think he even means to be funny," Shepard shrugged, "but anyway, when Tali met him she said... I remember this word for word, it was so funny. Tali said 'So, you're a real living Prothean?' and Javik..." Shepard could barely get the words out, she was giggling so much, "he said, 'As opposed to a fake, dead one?'"_

_Thane rumbled a deep laughter at that before he confessed, "I met the Javik once, on the Citadel."_

_Shepard's surprise curbed her laughter, "You did?"_

_"Briefly. He came to see what was bringing you to visit the Citadel so often."_

_"He what..?"_

_"He informed me that in his day, my people were merely lizards who bathed on rocks and ate flies."_

_Shepard tried hard to hold in her laughter, but couldn't and snorted, "He said the same thing about the salarians. You should have seen the look on Mordin's face! Oh hell, I'm so sorry Thane, he had no right."_

_Thane was grinning, "It is of no consequence, Siha. He was simply curious and... quite focused on the Reapers."_

_Shepard snorted, "That's putting it mildly, the guy was obsessed! I've no idea what poor old Prothy is going to fill his time with when we get back to the Citadel now."_

_"Prothy?"_

_"Oh, Joker's nickname for Javik. He doesn't approve of course, but then he didn't approve of much of anything, to be honest. Can't really blame him. I mean, waking up after fifty thousand years to face the same enemy who wiped all your people out is bound to make anyone grumpy, isn't it?"_

_Shepard told him of Liara's delight at discovering the prothean in a stasis pod, and of her disappointment when the species she had studied and admired for the last fifty years, turned out to be empirical bullies. Shepard swung between laughter and tears as she related memories of Ken and Gabby, who Thane knew, as well as those he didn't. _

_"I can't believe that after near millennia of service to the galaxy, Samara ended up dying like she did," she muttered, alluding to reports of the asari Justicar being turned into a banshee before she died. This was information she had declined to pass on to anyone but Thane, knowing Jack especially would be upset._

_Loosing Grunt was a heavy disappointment, too, even if he got to die in the manner he would have chosen, anyway. Strangely, many of Shepard's memories of Grunt involved Mordin._

_"I lost count of the amount of times I heard Grunt threatening to," she adopted a deep voice, "snap that salarian's other horn off!"_

_Thane laughed, "Yes, it was rather like having a teenager around the ship. What with giving Gardener cause to complain how Grunt was eating half of the mess supplies in one sitting, and Grunt's desire to hit things all the time."_

_Shepard nodded, leaning against Thane while she laughed, before sobering to tell him, "Oh, but you should have seen him on Utukku, where we found the Rachni Queen being held captive. Oh Thane, I honestly thought we had lost him when he charged off to cover us. He took out loads of Ravagers before taking one over the edge of a cliff with him. He just... vanished. He was gone. I thought that was it. Then, I couldn't believe it, up he came! He was pretty beat up and completely covered in Ravager goo, all sticky and disgusting, and utterly delighted with himself. After I'd helped him onto the shuttle I must have spent two hours in the shower trying to get the stink off me. Hell gimme a husk splattering all over me any day!" Shepard wrinkled her nose, sniggering, "I couldn't believe it when Zaeed told me he found Grunt in the engineering corridor hours later, still sticky and smelling like something a cat threw up. Er," she amended for Thane, "putrid vomit might be a better description, but actually worse. Anyway, Zaeed had to march Grunt into the shower. Hell, it was funny. Zaeed was so pissed off, told me he wasn't a bloody babysitter! Considering Zaeed had only popped aboard the Normandy to say hello while we were docked at the Citadel, I guess he had a good point. Ah, shame they both couldn't stay." After a pause she said, "I suppose only James is left, now. How the hell could they lose him like that, damn it? How the hell can we not know if he's alive or dead after all this time?" _

_Instead of waiting for an answer from Thane, she went on to tell him how much she'd enjoyed listening to the banter between Vega and Steve Cortez, whenever she was in the shuttle bay modding her weapons, or checking the requisition list. "James was a tank of a man, but," she sighed, "when we heard Steve over the comm, just as his shuttle got taken out, I saw something die in James." The tears came again as she spoke. Thane listened, content to allow her to pour out all of her grief, while sharing her happier memories, so she swung from one emotion to another._

_Eventually, she fell silent and he asked, "Who was Diana Allers?"_

_"Oh, ship's reporter." At the surprise on Thane's face, she added, "I know. Never thought I'd end up allowing the press anywhere near the Normandy, let alone aboard my ship! But, to be honest, Diana really helped people back home understand what was going on with the war, and she proved herself, I trusted her. One thing you could rely on with Allers was she would always report nothing but the facts, and if I told her to keep something back, she did, even if it killed her. I need to have a word with Traynor, I'm not sure, but I think she and Allers got close, maybe more than friends, I dunno. I've not had a chance to really talk with anyone too much since they got settled on the AJ."_

_"You have been busy, Siha, and there is plenty of time."_

_Shepard smiled when he squeezed her hand, and somehow she felt less guilty over feeling as if she had neglected some of the survivors. She would make time to speak to everyone properly on the way back to the Citadel._

_"I, I found a message from Allers on my terminal, and one from Karin too. Not read them yet," she huffed._

_"Would you like me to leave you so..."_

_"No," she said quickly, "I'd rather you stay. You've already seen me an emotional wreck now anyway so..." she shrugged in embarrassment._

_"No matter." Thane leaned towards her to plant a soft kiss on her temple. "You, too, have seen me at my worst, or very nearly, when I came to your cabin that evening before we hit the Collector base." He smiled, "The night that was to be our first together, er, technically."_

_Shepard grinned, remembering the day she had returned from destroying a mass relay, and feeling wretched for it, only to fall asleep in Thane's comforting arms._

_Wiping away the tear trickling down Shepard's cheek, Thane continued, "I think, however, it's fair to say Garrus is the one who has seen me at my very worst, after finding you on the Collector ship."_

_"Oh, I wouldn't worry," she drawled, "I'm pretty sure I was still in worst shape."_

_Despite the memories, Thane laughed, and how strange it was to be able to find mirth in what had been such a horrendous time. "True," he agreed, "after all, you had to be carried to the shuttle, I only needed to be dragged."_

_Shepard snorted and looked at Thane's smile, part angelic grin, part devilish smirk. She twisted towards him to wrap her arms around his neck as she chuckled. When the laughter died down she pulled away from him, and shook on her omni-tool. Opening her messages with a deep breath, grateful for the comforting hand Thane placed on her thigh, she read out Diana Allers message._

_Well, here's some headline news Commander. All hell is breaking loose on the ship. Outside comms have gone dark and the Normandy seems to be trying to shake itself apart. I can barely stay in my seat to write this._

_No big dramatic speeches or anything. I just wanted to say thanks for letting me aboard. _

_If I don't make it, __the University of Milgrom's Rossberg School of Journalism will get all the money. You can do what you like with the rest of my stuff on the ship. Just make sure ANN gets my last feed, would you? I was cut off halfway through so had to record the rest, and I hate to leave a job half finished._

_Thanks Shepard. Hopefully I'll see you again, soon._

_Diana._

_P.S. Remember, I said I'd hold a Bekenstein wake for you if you didn't make it? If things turn out the other way around, make sure you get really drunk for me._

Shepard sighed, dropping her arm and looking down at the floor. Thane gave her shoulder a squeeze, keeping his silence while she considered Diana's last words to her. Eventually she took a deep breath and lifted her arm again, this time to open Doctor Chakwas' letter.

Because Thane knew the doctor, he was able to hear the letter in Chakwas voice, while he listened to the words Siha read out.

_Commander._

_Now you're on Earth and we are about to do battle with the Reapers, it's just occurred to me I didn't properly thank you. Frankly I am in awe of what you have achieved, by bringing together all of the galaxy's races to face the Reapers as one. I believe we have a good chance of actually winning this war, thanks to you._

_I have no desire to sound fatalistic or anything like that, but I want you to know, just in case I don't have the chance to tell you in person when all this mess is over, it has been a real honour and a true pleasure serving with you these last few years. My life has been all the more richer for having you in it, Shepard, and I know I'm certainly not the only one, not by a long way._

_I've left a little something for you, it's in my personal stash in the med bay. Sorry if I am unable to share it with you. If this is the case, however, you can be sure I will be there with you in spirit, as it were._

_Good luck, my friend._

_Karin._

Shepard's tears had been falling silently until she looked at Thane, then she collapsed, sobbing into his waiting arms.

Thane had admired and respected the Normandy's long serving doctor, and to be reminded she would never again shoo him out of the med bay, was more heartbreaking this time around, than when Chakwas had visited him in the hospital to say goodbye.

Despite everything he would have lost had he died, Thane believed death was much easier on the dying than the living, left behind. He believed Doctor Chakwas shared the same philosophy.

After Shepard's sobs had subsided to sniffles, she gently pulled away from Thane to wipe her nose. "Right," she sighed, and surprised Thane by muttering, "come on," before pushing herself up to her feet. Following her to the lift, Thane offered a questioning look. Shepard shrugged, gave him a sad smile and told him, "I'm just following doctor's orders."

_In the med bay, Shepard pushed one of the beds away from the bulkhead and bent to open a small panel near the floor. Reaching inside the cupboard, she grinned, "Best we don't tell Joker he missed this," producing a bottle wrapped in red paper, and two unbreakable brandy glasses. Shepard wondered if these were the same two glasses used last time she had shared a drink with the doctor._

_Watching her pour, Thane cautioned, "It's not even nine o'clock, yet," before emptying his shot of Serrace Ice Brandy in one gulp, and allowing his glass to be refilled._

_"And I'm on duty." Shepard grinned._

_"When are you not?" He offered mildly._

_"Exactly!"_

_Thane was content to sit next to her on a bed and toast the Doctor, twice. Once for being a great friend and the best doctor a crew could have, the second time for the gift of the brandy. Shepard promised to make sure the bottle she had bought for Karin would be placed into her coffin._

_However, by the time they had toasted all of the dead, most of the living, and Shepard was pouring her fifth shot to raise it for those still missing, Thane was beginning to wonder if he might have to carry her out and drop her into the ocean as a means to sober her up before duty called, again. He needn't have worried, Shepard nursed her glass this time, while she passed on some of the stories Chakwas had told her over a bottle. Most of them were amusing anecdotes of past crew, and Thane laughed especially hard at the one about a young marine called Corporal Jenkins. _

_Deciding Chakwas told the stories better than her, Shepard fell silent, so Thane wondered if now might be a good time to pass on another message to her._

_"I've been meaning to tell you, Koylat messaged me last night."_

_"Oh? I'm guessing you didn't mention the mercs?" Shepard slurred._

_"No, I did not." Thane said, darkly, his speech unaffected by the rapidly consumed alcohol, partly because of a higher tolerance to most alcoholic drinks, and partly because he was still only on his third shot. "However," he smiled, "Koylat asked me to pass a message to you."_

_"Oh hell. Has this got anything to do with the other night?"_

_"Hmm, I think it's safe to say the impression you made on him with your kiss, was more favourable than when you hit him."_

_Shepard snorted, "Go on, what did he say?"_

_Thane's laugh rumbled out when he told her, "Koylat merely told me that he... sends you kisses."_

_"He..?" She sat back in surprise, then a smile brightened into a huge grin, "Well, who would have thought it! Looks like some drell do have a sense of humour, after all."_

_Thane's smile fell from his face and he glared at her, making her laugh even harder. "Next time you write," she giggled, "tell him I send kisses back."_

_"Perhaps you should message this to him yourself? Lest I find myself delivering the same message to you both repeatedly."_

_"Hey, Koylat started it!"_

_Thane shook his head, laughing quietly. "Suffice it to say, he seems to be recovering nicely."_

_Shepard nearly spat out the brandy she was about to swallow, but coughed out a laugh instead. Suddenly she jumped off the bed, grabbing the bottle of_

_Brandy saying, "Come on," and wobbled out of the med bay._

_Thane wasn't surprised at all to see her leading him towards life support._

_"Just wanted to show you this," she opened the door to reveal how the room had been cleaned up. The only evidence of the damage this small space had taken was the hole in the bulkhead, exposing the Normandy's destroyed FTL Drive Core, along with a few dints in the table and chairs. It hadn't taken Shepard long to sweep up the thick chunks from the window and remove the broken shelving, before straightening out a couple of chair legs._

_Walking slowly into the room Thane said, "You spent a great deal of time in this room, mourning my death, didn't you?"_

_"Yeah," she breathed, following him in, "I guess, some. It's kind'a strange, standing in here with you, now."_

_"Hmm, it is an odd sensation for me too, Siha," he turned to her, "though not unpleasant."_

_A single tear hung on her cheek, which Thane gently wiped away with his thumb, before pulling her close to him. When she spoke Thane felt her breath on the crest of his neck._

_"Thanks, Thane. Not sure how I would have gotten through any of this without your patience and understanding."_

_Thane closed his own eyes briefly, feeling unworthy of her gratitude. "I am sorry I didn't write to you sooner, Siha. I deeply regret..."_

_"Don't." Shepard cut him off, stepping away briefly to put the brandy and glasses on the table, then turning to put her hands in Thane's and look him in the eye. "I think," she said, carefully, "I'm glad I didn't get it in time." _

_Thane tilted his head in surprised curiosity, but said nothing._

_"It's not easy to explain why I feel this way but, I believe, if I had known there was a chance you were alive, and were maybe waiting for me, er, this side of the sea, I think I may have given up hope, back in that Collector ship, once I started believing no one was coming."_

_A dark cloud passed over Thane's features._

_"I would have become anxious, not knowing if you had survived, if anyone had survived, if the Reapers had won or not. I would have been so worried, wondering if you were worrying about me, or mourning me, or have just been turned into a damn husk or something. I'd have probably worried myself into an early grave, and would have definitely felt shit scared that I'd be going back to... well, to that nothingness I spent two years in. But, Thane, your words, they hold weight." Shepard looked into his eyes deeply, willing him to understand her as she continued. _

_"I believed you were waiting for me across the sea. I believed I'd see you again. Ok, not quite the way things turned out, but... some part of me just knew I would... see you again. So, as much as I wanted to know if the war was over and if anyone had survived, in some ways even that didn't really matter, anymore. I could accept dying without finding that out. I'd done what I could and, I guess, I was at peace, Thane. I believe what got me through that crazy nightmare of being stuck there, __knowing__ I was going to die, was thinking you already had. You were, um, safe I guess. The thought of dying didn't scare me because I believed you would be waiting for me, and that... kept me calm. I think it may have been... what saved me, what kept me going long enough for, uh, rescue. Does that make any sense?"_

_Due to the lump in his throat, Thane merely nodded. It was a far greater gift to receive than he could put into words, so he hugged her tightly, his eyes watering until they spilled over. She had forgiven him, but more than that, she had given a purpose to his dallying over writing to her. With the wisdom of a Goddess, his Siha had lifted the guilt of his ill timed letter, and replaced it with a sense of fated importance, as if the Gods themselves had intervened._

_Finally, he was able to say, "Thank you, Siha." It didn't seem much, but the look on her face told him it was enough. Their lips met in a long kiss, both feeling like a weight had been lifted, somehow. _

_Shepard wobbled over to the edge of the table to sit, her feet dangling, and she grabbed Thane's coat to pull him close, her eyes sparkling mischievously._

_"Thane?"_

_"Yes Siha?" Thane smiled at her, wishing, hoping, she felt the same joy he was experiencing at just being alive with her right now. Despite everything she had gone through over the last couple of days, Thane realised she would be fine. _

_Her smile sparkled across her eyes, as much as it did her lips. "Thane, I love you."_

_"Gods, I cannot tell you how much I love you!" _

_This time their kiss was deep and passionate, until Shepard broke off panting, "Hell, if only we had the time."_

_Thane's brow furrowed for a moment before he understood. "Ah," was all he said, giving her a half-lidded look. At Shepard's smirk he added, "There is plenty of time, and we will not be disturbed," unsure how much he was actually joking or not._

_"Thane Krios!" Shepard blinked, shock masking her face, "I'm on duty!" Then with a smirk, she popped the top off the bottle of brandy and took a swig. In one quick movement she locked her legs around Thane's hips, as he took the offered bottle, replacing its cap without drinking. Shepard made him have to lean very close in order to put the bottle back onto the table behind her._

_"Gods!" Thane muttered when Shepard took off her tunic, then slowly peeled off her vest top. His hands cupped her neck when she lifted her chin and their tongues found each other._

_Her hand moved up his inner thigh and she ran the tip of her tongue over his crest, from his neck to his ear, only pausing to whisper, "Let's make our last memory of this room a really good one."_

_"Well," said Thane as they strolled through the CIC arm in arm, "I believe that was the first time I have ever had sex while armed."_

_Shepard threw her head back in a laugh, "Oh, there are so many things I could say to that, Thane! It was quite the sobering experience at least, so I won't have to go skinny dipping in the sea now."_

_"Ah, that is a shame."_

_Shepard giggled, "Maybe one day, Krios." Pausing at the airlock she looked at the half bottle of brandy in her hand. "Question is, what do I do with this?"_

_"Here." Thane took it and stashed it away in his coat._

_"Nice." Shepard squinted as she left the gloomy interior of the Normandy for the bright sunshine outside. "Well," she smiled, "to quote a cook I used to know, 'Back to work!'"_

_Thane laughed, briefly wondering what might have happened to Gardener, but his thoughts quickly turned back to Shepard. "Did I hurt you Siha? You are... limping, again."_

_Shepard laughed, giving him a squeeze as they walked away from the Normandy. "Thane, while you were sleeping, I had a bitch fight with several Brutes while, at the same time, luring the biggest Thresher Maw in the damn galaxy towards a Reaper, which was also trying to kill us. And, I faced off another Reaper, practically going toe-to-toe with the damn thing, before kicking its ass. So I'm pretty sure I can handle a hot drell with just the one good foot." Before Thane could answer she suddenly sagged against him, complaining, "Quads, I feel so drained."_

_"Hmm. Aside from... anything else, you have just exorcised deep emotions over the many losses in your life, it is bound to drain you. But I hope it proves to be cathartic for you."_

_Shepard nodded, "Yeah, I think it has."_

_Before they reached the AJ, Shepard stopped, turning to Thane and asking, "Do I look ok?"_

_"You look beautiful, Siha." Thane said sincerely._

_"Ok, not quite what I was after, but I'll take it." She grinned. "Seriously..."_

_"I was being quite serious."_

_Shepard huffed, "Do I look like I've been crying? Or like I've been drinking? Or like I've just had sex in life support?"_

_Chuckling Thane said, "The latter two no, though it's possible someone may smell the brandy on our breath, if we allow them to get too close."_

_"Oh hell."_

_"The former, perhaps a little."_

_"Oh hell!"_

_"Under the circumstances, at the sight of your broken ship, the graves of your crew and friends, it is understandable."_

_Shepard considered this, "Thanks, Thane. You always make me feel better. Now you just need to help me get to the cabin, so I can shower and brush my teeth, before anyone gets near us."_

_"Hmm, this may require a level of stealth you are unaccustomed to, my Siha."_

_"Ooh, you bitch!"_

_"Not at all. My only wish is to make your life better in any way I can."_

_Despite his playful smile she knew Thane meant every word of that, and she melted. "I love you."_

_Thane smiled lovingly at her before his lips curled into a smirk, "I hope you are as relieved as I am, that you have finally found the time to mention that. I... OW!"_

_Thane was sitting on a boulder, rubbing his shin. He looked up as Garrus wandered over, a questioning look on his face._

_Thane grinned, "For a woman with a limp as pronounced as hers, Shepard can still deliver a good kick."_

_Garrus smirked, "Lovers' tiff?"_

_"Hmm, actually, I believe the humans call it... foreplay," Thane said, choosing the inaccurate word deliberately._

_Thane laughed as Garrus shuffled his feet, said "Oh" several times, stammered, then walked away._

_Shepard came out of the AJ's airlock, showered and refreshed, in time to watch the shuttle come in to land. As soon as it's hatch opened Shepard shouted, "Kal!" Greeting the marine warmly , and shaking his hand. "How the hell did you survive?"_

_"Ha! Maybe some of that Shepard magic rubbed off onto me eh? It's good to see you, Captain. Nice promotion!"_

_"Thanks. Hell it's fantastic to see you, Kal." Shepard sobered, "I'm so sorry about Tali."_

_"Yeah, you and me both. We lost a hell of a lot of good people, didn't we? But we won the damn war, Shepard, that's gotta count for something right?" Before she could answer, Kal'Reegar turned to his two companions and introduced, "This is Ranger and Solis."_

_"Shepard Captain," said each geth when she shook their hands. She grinned at 'Reegar. Like her, Kal had fought many geth in his time, and now here he was, happily working alongside them. It reminded her that Legion's sacrifice was not in vain, and would have a far reaching and positive consequence for a very long time to come._

_"Thanks for doing this, guys. I Know you've got enough to do rebuilding the Migrant Fleet, so coming here for the Normandy, hell it's above and beyond."_

_"Oh please, Shepard, least we could do considering everything you've done for our people. Anyway, we're not rebuilding. We'll have a small fleet, of course, but as soon as we can get the live-ships to Rannoch, the plan is to settle there."_

_"Oh wow, that's great news," she grinned._

_"We brought something for you." Kal motioned to Solis, who held up a black cylindrical object before showing her it's plaque on the top, with the name of every crew member who had been buried on this planet. "These guys made it on the way here. Sorry, it's not much, but we figured you would want to leave something behind, at least, for now, until your Admiral Hackett can arrange something more permanent."_

_"I... I don't know what to say..." Shepard was moved beyond words. She thanked them, managing to blink back pinpricks of tears._

_The small monument was placed into the ground in front of the now excavated gravesite. During a short speech, Shepard recited every name on the plaque from memory, before asking for a moment of silence. _

_After the team said their goodbyes to Kal, Ranger, and Solis, Shepard offered her hand to thank him again._

_"Enough already, Shepard," he laughed. "You've thanked us enough. We'll get her back and start working on her as fast as we can."_

_"Wait. Working on her?"_

_"You didn't know? We're going to rebuild the Normandy. At least, the engineers are going to have a damn good try anyway."_

_Shepard was stunned and her eyes travelled back and forth along her severely damaged ship._

_"It won't be easy," Kal warned, "Can't say how long it will take, resources and manpower will be a problem. But Admiral Hackett has supplied the plans for the SR2 and the techs we can spare sure have the will to get her flying again."_

_"Wow," she grinned, still in shock, yet beginning to feel excited at the same time, her mind already starting to look for solutions. "Maybe I can call in a few favours. I reckon being a Spectre might come in handy, too. Barla Von gave some big donation to the smaller clinics on the Citadel in my name, maybe he'll still be feeling generous?"_

_Kal chuckled._

_Shepard fixed her eyes on Kal's small shining orbs, barely perceptible behind his mask, and told him, "Thank you!"_

_"She's in good hands, Captain."_

_"I know. Hell if you guys can't rebuild her, then no one can."_

_"Damn straight!"_

_"So, before we leave, you have to tell me, what happened, Kal? Reports said you had died."_

_"Yeah, I ended up delivered back to the fleet in a body bag."_

_"What, seriously?"_

_"Hell yeah," Kal chuckled. "Turian's just assumed we were all gonners. Can't say I blame em, by the time the Krogan turned up to give us back up, the comms tower worked all right, but the place was strewn with husks... and my men." He sighed. "I guess I got lucky, again. _Combat seals clamped down to isolate contamination, and I was swimming in antibiotics. Doc noticed I was still alive soon as we got picked up, and thanks to the geth technology, they somehow managed to keep me alive while I fought the infection. Oh, and the injuries, too, of course." He shrugged.

"Hell, incredible." Shepard shook her head, grinning.

"Yeah, the geth have been pretty amazing. But you know me, Shepard. The enemy might get me, but I'm not going to die from an infection in the middle of a battle. That's just insulting!"

At that, Shepard laughed. "When you get back with the Normandy, there is going to be one very large drink waiting for you - several in fact."

"Now you're talking, Captain!_ Now go, will ya? Get the AJ off our landing zone so I can get my people to work. I'll be in touch." Shepard opened her mouth to speak but Kal jumped in, "And for Keela's sake, don't thank me again, please, Shepard."_

_Clamping her mouth shut, she shook Kal's hand once more, and simply nodded._

_Before Shepard took one last look at the Normandy and left, she paused in front of the small monument set into the ground. It wasn't just a monument to those seventeen dead, but also a message for future generations. Nestled inside the mostly buried cylinder, was a time capsule Liara had begun working on during the war. It would tell the people of the future how a woman called Shepard had united all the races of the galaxy, in order to defeat the biggest threat known to every single species that had ever lived. The Reapers. How she had ensured that this cycle continued uninterrupted, and would do so, forever into the future. This time capsule would speak of the importance of unity to those who would come long after even Liara had died. Of a legacy that would ensure those future generations would still speak the names of those responsible for saving their lives, long before they were born. All thanks to a human who would become known only as The Shepard._


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

_Secrets, Lies, and Holo-Pics._

As the AJ lifted away from the planet that had sustained the survivors of the Normandy for so many months, Shepard made her rounds to personally thank everyone on the AJ for helping to get the Normandy crew home safe. She would write a glowing report for all of them, including special commendations for many. For now, she entered the celebratory atmosphere of the mess hall, slipping into an empty chair next to Thane, a coffee in one hand, the other on his thigh. He smiled, draping his arm over the back of her chair, encouraging her to rest against him.

They quietly enjoyed watching while the team noisily saluted each other with mugs of tea or coffee, sharing stories, as well as the joy and sadness over the end of the Reaper war.

Turning to Thane, Shepard said quietly, "I wonder how Zaeed's coping?" She grinned at his questioning look, "He's barely been able to get a word in these last few days, what with everyone interested in the survivors' stories, and him having to compete with everyone else's war stories."

Thane chuckled, "Garrus must also be having a difficult time." Shepard started laughing, knowing what was coming, but Thane finished anyway, "What with being on a star ship, yet having nothing to calibrate."

"So close," she snorted, "yet so far."

Though it was impossible to forget they were carrying the bodies of seventeen people down in the hold, Shepard couldn't help but feel a sense of happiness. She had exorcised a huge amount of emotion this morning, though it seemed like days ago already, and had been left feeling optimistic about the future, if pretty tired in the present. She settled back against Thane's shoulder again and allowed a nice, and very unusual, feeling of contentment to wash over her.

Unfortunately, it didn't last long. Shepard sat bolt upright when a chirpy voice announced over the comm, "Ladies and gentlemen. Turians and humans, asari, salarian, and that cute and cuddly drell. Oh... and EDI! This is your pilot speaking. I am happy to inform you the mass relay is now... Open! Ta Daa! We're going home guys. How cool is that?"

The crew erupted into cheers. Everyone except Shepard, who hadn't even noticed Joker was missing. "He didn't!" She muttered. Trying not to laugh, she shot Thane an exasperated look and made her way to the lift.

Stepping into the cockpit Shepard said, "Joker?"

"Hey Commander!" Joker swung around in the pilot's seat, a huge grin on his face.

With a small shake of her head Shepard said, "You ever going to get used to calling me Captain?"

"Pfft, sure. In front of Admiral's and stuff. But Commander is kind'a like my pet-name for you, y'know? See, I figured if Thane and James can have a nickname for you, so can I. I am your oldest friend after all." Joker beamed.

Shepard huffed, more at herself for being unable to hide her smile, than at Joker's cheek. Dryly, she asked, "Where's the pilot, Joker?"

He threw his arms wide and said, "Hello!"

"Joker..." she warned.

"Well, I haven't thrown him out of the airlock, if that's what you mean."

Folding her arms Shepard asked, "Not bound and gagged in the cargo bay?"

"Nah, no need. He's a turian and I outrank him, so when I told him you needed to see him urgently, and I'd hold the fort..."

"You didn't!"

"Nah, just kidding, Commander," Joker rolled his eyes. "He just sympathised with a fellow pilot and let me fly, is all. It has been six months since I've been grounded. Six months! You know me, Commander, I gotta fly... Course, I told him I'd cleared it with you first."

"Joker!"

Joker's smile didn't waver, but he shuffled uncomfortably in his seat a little. "Oh c'mon, Commander... Captain... Sir... Shit! Gah, It's been _six months_!"

Shepard couldn't help laughing, she was just glad Joker was still around to bend, ok break, a few rules. With a shake of her head, she sat in the co-pilot's seat and Joker turned back to his controls, his grin returning in full now that he knew he was victorious in getting proper permission to fly the AJ.

They sat in silence for a few moments, and when Joker spoke next there was no trace of humour. "So Commander, what the hell happened to you? I mean, I've heard... stuff. It's not made a lot of sense, though. And you were in a coma? For months?"

"I guess we haven't had much chance to catch up these last couple of days. Sorry, Joker."

"Hell no, don't be, I get that. Be nice to know what happened to you, though. You were indoctrinated? Shit!"

"Well, for a little while." She sniggered, "not for as long as I thought, though. For a while I thought Thane was the enemy."

"Yeah, I heard about that. But... Thane! When I first saw him I thought all three of you had just come back to haunt us or some crazy shit."

Shepard laughed, "You should have seen the look on your face!" Sitting back with a sigh, she added, "If you've got a few spare hours I'll tell you everything."

"Ok, hang on," Joker worked his controls. "Right, we have a couple'a extra hours before we hit the relay. I was looking for an excuse to do that anyway." Joker chuckled, turning his seat slightly so he could talk to Shepard and keep an eye on the ship at the same time. "So what happened with you and Anderson?"

Shepard frowned, wondering how to explain all this. Apart from telling her friends some of the events as she begun to remember them, Shepard had never told this story in full to anyone, not even to herself. She decided to begin by telling Joker what she thought was going on, what she was supposed to believe was happening in front of her. How she thought she had reached the Citadel with Anderson, that the Illusive Man had been there and how, after passing out, she had woken up to the avatar of a little boy she had seen killed on Earth, and many times over in her dreams.

"So, wait," Joker finally interjected. "You're telling me, you went through all that hell, just so a ten year old can give you three ways to kill yourself? Shit! That's... kind'a lame. I wonder what would have happened if you'd picked something other than destroy? Nah, probably the same shit, only we'd be getting our asses chased by a different coloured fireball or something!" Joker dropped his face into his palm and sniggered.

Shepard smiled, shaking her head, only Joker could find humour in something like this. "A bit more than that I suspect," she said, with a wry grin. "You see, Joker, most of what I just told you, it was all a lie; It was only an elaborate hoax by the Reapers, who had pretty much indoctrinated me."

Joker nodded, "You weren't on the Citadel, but on a Collector ship the Illusive Man had pimped up as his new ride."

Shepard snorted, "Yeah, something like that. My memory is still pretty fuzzy in places, even now bits and pieces are still coming back. What I can tell you is, it looks like the Reapers set up the Illusive Man as a kind of safety net for them. I guess they got wise after we got through the conduit on Ilos, and managed to chase Saren down on the Citadel."

"Yeah, figures."

"But while the Reapers were watching me, they took their eye off the ball, and Anderson slipped through. It could have been what saved my life actually. Suddenly, the Reapers still needed me, to distract Anderson, maybe, I mean, I think so anyway. Although it's probably true the Reapers were also planning on making another of their kind on that ship. Maybe another human Reaper."

"Ugh," Joker grimaced.

"What I do know for sure, now, is that those keeper tunnels that looked a lot like a Collector ship were a Collector ship. As soon as I was spat out of the conduit, a bunch of Cerberus troops were waiting, I think, to kill me, but instead they just softened me up. Although, I believe I had already been shot by then, and was pretty messed up anyway, so they didn't have to work too hard."

"Bastards." Joker muttered.

"I didn't remember any of this for a long time. But, this is where it gets weird, the troops suddenly stopped beating me, and I thought... I thought that was it, they'd had their fun and were going to shoot me, finish me off. Next thing I'm aware of, I'm on my own and getting up. I was... Oh hell, by then I couldn't think straight. I could see the long ramp I had to walk down to find Anderson, but, I could see I was really hauling myself up some stairs... at the same time..." she shook her head, wondering if this would be possible to explain. "It's a pretty weird memory. Point is, by then both my legs were broken, one pretty badly..."

"The troops did that? And you could still walk?"

"Yeah. I didn't really feel the pain, not at that point. The Reapers..." she grimaced, "I was a puppet, Joker, and I didn't even realise it, not until I got to Anderson. As soon as I stepped into the Illusive Man's chamber I could feel them, the Reapers, crawling around inside my brain. Ugh, it was horrible. At the time I thought they were demonstrating their power over me, my body at least, by making me shoot Anderson, but now, I think it was just the Reapers... reinforcing the indoctrination. Testing me out to see how much control they actually had over me."

"But... Anderson wasn't real?"

"No, it was just his avatar. The Reapers were in both our heads, but Anderson, he was stronger. Even so, he reacted to the shot. Like he felt it... Hell..." she sighed.

Joker looked down a moment, shaking his head. "The Illusive Man was real, though, right? I mean, he was with you, on the Collector ship, until you... killed him? Or talked him into killing himself, or something?"

"Yes, he was with me, but I didn't exactly change his mind. He went from preaching to me, to suddenly thinking he'd maybe messed up, after all, and then shot himself. Regardless of what I was trying to say to convince him that aligning with the Reapers was the worst thing he could have done, it was still a quick change of heart."

"Shit! Isn't that what happened with Saren, pretty much?"

Shepard frowned, "Yeah, exactly. Although the Illusive Man stayed down, and didn't bounce around the walls while we tried to finish him off."

Joker snorted briefly at her dark humour.

"I didn't suddenly change the Illusive Man's mind, he'd just served his purpose as far as the Reapers were concerned. Maybe the Illusive Man was having second thoughts at the end, but it was the Reapers who finished him off."

Joker nodded his understanding, "They had you."

"Exactly. They didn't need him anymore, so made him point the gun at himself and... So, when he died all hell broke loose. I'd not even noticed them, at first, but the Cerberus troops were in the chamber with us, too. As soon as the Illusive Man was dead, the troops went berserk. They were mindless, beating each other with their guns."

Joker huffed, "Sounds grim."

"To be honest, if I could remember it clearly, even I'd probably want to puke, and I'm the least squeamish person you know."

"Yeah..." Joker wrinkled his nose up at her, obviously remembering a particular incident.

"The Reapers had finished with the troops, so had them kill each other."

"Shit, that's sick."

Shepard nodded. "So, while they were going nuts, I... sat down with Anderson, uh, his Avatar, and we waited for the war to end. We both thought that was it, and the Crucible would be firing any second. Then I thought... I thought he died on me." Shepard sighed. "He told me... He told me I did good. He said, 'You did good, kid'." She smiled sadly, took a deep breath, and continued. "Anyway, I passed out, and the rest of it pretty much happened in my head."

"I don't get it."

"Best theory, the Reapers played vampire with me."

"What?"

"You never read a vampire story, Joker? I couldn't get enough of them when I was a kid."

"Yeah, well I guess being stuck on a farm, you gotta take the entertainment where you can find it, right, Commander?" Joker teased.

Shepard rolled her eyes. "According to old folklore, a vampire can cross the threshold into your home, only if expressly invited. So they have to try and trick you into giving the invitation." Shepard watched Jokers face as he began to grasp what she was telling him and she went on, "I don't know why, but the Reapers lost control of my body when the Illusive Man died, and for whatever reason, we can only really speculate at this point, they needed full control of me. Maybe I was their last ditch effort, a shell they, or one of them at least, could survive in. I didn't feel it at the time, but I remember their desperation as they probed my mind, trying to talk me into, essentially, letting them in. The Reapers might not understand emotion, but they sure know how to manipulate it.

"You see, they took the boys avatar from an image inside my mind. I guess seeing that kid, thinking he was about to get to safety, then seeing his shuttle blown to pieces, I... I always thought I could have done more. He was right there in front of me back on Earth, and I let him go. I should have..." Shepard shook her head. "Anyway, I guess the Reapers figured the boy made for a friendly face to give me the good news that I had a choice to make."

"Some choice."

She shrugged, "I still had free will, you see, that's what the Reapers needed to get past. Anyway, I think if I'd made the wrong choice, it wouldn't have mattered that Anderson had fired up the Crucible."

"Like you thought you had?"

"Yeah, I think we were still connected right up until the end. I saw, heard, and felt the explosion, but it was Anderson's last moments I was living."

"Shit. I mean... _shit!_ No wonder your head was so messed up when you woke up."

"I guess. All I know is the choice I did make ensured they couldn't control me." Shepard declined to explain to Joker how her choice gambled with the lives of EDI and the geth. It was the only choice the Reapers gave her which might end in her staying alive, yet was the one choice she would have found the most difficult to live with had it been true. She was able to see through the ruse, despite the terrible state she was in. She was able to understand how the least desirable choice given to her, was likely to be the only way to end the Reapers once and for all. So, despite her lack of confidence, Shepard took that gamble. She had yet to admit to anyone the full scale of those horrific last moments after she made her choice, or the utter relief she felt when she had woken up and learned the geth had survived, which meant EDI may also still be alive. "I... didn't get tricked into inviting the Reapers in. Anderson did the rest. It all came to an end when the Reapers were destroyed, but yeah, my head was pretty badly affected for a while."

"And the rest of you, too, by the sounds of it. Miranda was filling me in the other day. Hey she's chilled out a bit. I don't need to put on so much winter gear just to go have a conversation with her, anymore."

Shepard sniggered briefly.

"But, anyway, Commander, I know you survived actually dying for a couple of years, I mean, that's old news, but I hear you practically had both feet back in the grave this time around, too. Seriously, how'd you survive a beating like that?"

"I dunno, Joker. Still," she offered him a wry smile, "glad I did. I mean, imagine the embarrassment of surviving going toe-to-toe with Thresher Maws and Reapers, only to be killed by a bunch of Cerberus husks, with their damn fists!" Shepard chuckled, but the memory haunted her. She stared into nothing and continued, "Hell, at the time I honestly thought they were going to kill me. I was spat out of that conduit and slammed onto the floor, so I was pretty stunned. I remember speaking to Anderson and getting up, then this pack of Cerberus husks just descended on me. Or maybe that happened before I spoke to Anderson, It's still pretty vague. I do remember clearly now, at one point, after I'd been smashed in the face with... a rifle, I think… I was on the floor, I couldn't breathe properly, I guess my ribs were broken by then, punctured a lung... I remember looking at this guy as he was forcing the butt of his gun into my ankle, over and over again, then the heel of his boot. I wondered why it didn't hurt, because the pain in my chest was killing me. I remember thinking that I wish he'd leave my stupid ankle alone, and come finish me off. Part of me, the small part that could see what was really going on, thought I'd failed. I... Oh, hell, I dunno... Sorry, I didn't mean to get all maudlin on you, Joker."

"Shit, Commander, I can't believe we were sunbathing while you were going through hell."

"Oh please, it's the best news I've heard in ages." Shepard grinned. Fixing him with a pointed look, she added, "I really can't tell you how great it is to have you back, Joker."

"Yeah, and you Commander, again!"

She got out of the co pilot's seat, chuckling. "You keep practicing your piloting skills, Joker, you're going to need them when we get the Normandy back into shape."

"Hell, yeah! How awesome is that?"

"Just, please, give the AJ's pilot his seat back soon, huh?" Shepard grinned, putting her hand on his arm to give it a light squeeze.

Before she could take her hand away, Joker grabbed her wrist. When he held her gaze, Shepard thought he was tearing up for a second before he said, "Thank you," gave her wrist a squeeze, and turned back to his controls.

Looking at the back of his seat Shepard said, "For you, Joker, anytime."

For once, she left the cockpit without hearing his familiar, 'See ya, Commander', but she barely had time to consider it as she found Thane lurking outside, and looking none too happy.

"Oh, hello." Shepard smiled, "Is Kasumi here as well, or are you lurking alone this evening?"

"My apologies. I should not have eavesdropped. It wasn't my intent, but when I heard you describing what the Cerberus troops had done to you..."

It suddenly dawned on Shepard why Thane seemed so wound up, "Oh, hell."

"You, perhaps, should have told me." Thane's fists were balled at his sides and his brows were furrowed in a look she had only ever seen on the battlefield. This was more than just his fighting face, he seemed to be smouldering with anger.

She took a step back, crossing her arms. She didn't want to be defensive with him, but the rush of guilt she felt made her angry, too. "Well, I guess now you know why I didn't tell you."

"I am... unsure."

She glared at him, angry he would make her say it, "Because... damn it, you know damn well why I chose not to give you those details." When Thane said nothing she suddenly wanted to slap him, and instead snapped, "Because Irika was beaten to death, and I thought maybe I would be doing you a favour by not describing how I was nearly killed the same way as well. Ok? Happy now?"

"Siha, I..."

She stalked away, angry at herself for handling this so badly, and for hurting Thane, again. She was angry at him too, though she wasn't entirely sure why, and he seemed angry with her which she found confusing and frightening, not to mention it really pissed her off.

Thane struggled with his own confused thoughts as he watched her go. He turned away to consider their brief conversation for a moment, and noticed Joker looking at him from around the back of his chair.

"Oops." Joker tried to grin, but instead turned away from Thane's glower, who then stalked away in the same direction as Shepard.

Thane found Shepard brooding and agitated in the corner of the cabin's seating area. "Siha..."

"Oh, don't start!" She leapt up, and began to pace in front of him, speaking quickly and with ever increasing volume.

Thane watched her pace back and forth, while her hands expressed her defensiveness and as she yelled at him for eavesdropping. He thought he understood. She was still grieving and there were always several stages of this in most species. Thane knew these stages all too well.

It seemed she might not stop yelling and when she became so loud he feared those in the mess hall would hear, Thane did the only thing he could think of to get her attention and calm her down - he caught hold of her arms and forced her back against the bulkhead.

Shepard was cut off mid swear word and gasped. She squirmed between the bulkhead and Thane's grip, quickly realising there was no point. He was stronger than even she had realised, and for the first time she clearly saw the killer in him. Far from scaring her, from making her want to fight, she acquiesced. At that moment, Shepard realised just how easily he could kill her, if he wanted to, and how powerful he actually was. She suddenly understood just how much she could trust him, and that she was angry not at Thane, but at herself. She had tried to protect him in a way he would have never done with her, by treating him like a fragile person who couldn't cope with the truth. If the shoe had been on the other foot, she would have been insulted.

She looked into his eyes and told him, "I guess I'm not very good at this relationship stuff, am I?"

Thane's stern mask softened into a small smile, "I am trying to find a nice way to answer that, without it sounding cliché."

She nearly smiled back. "I'm sorry, Thane. I don't blame you for being angry at me."

"What? I..." He let go and stepped back. "Angry with you? No I... Gods, is that what you thought?"

"Well, um, yeah. You looked like you were going to pop a gasket at me or something."

"Pop a..? Hmm, I think I understand." Thane sighed, looking at the floor as he quietly told her, "No, Siha, my anger was not for you. It was for those troops, and what they did to you, and for the memories they have left you with. It cannot be easy living with such... I know it is not easy living with such memories."

"It's ok," she told him, reaching up to place her hand on his cheek.

Thane pulled his head away, catching her wrist before stepping away from her.

"Thane? I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"You were trying to protect me." He said darkly.

"Yes, and I know it was wrong. It won't happen again."

Thane kept his back to her for a moment, before turning around and suddenly falling at her feet. "Forgive me, Siha. It is my fault. I should not have listened to your conversation with Joker. Or reacted the way I did."

Suddenly Shepard was pressing her lips together, trying to suppress her mirth. "Let's just say we both screwed up and leave it at that, eh?" Unfortunately when Thane looked up at her, she couldn't help snorting out a laugh, which became a guffaw when he tilted his head in confusion. "Oh, Thane, I'm so sorry, I don't mean to laugh, it's just..." she spoke through her giggles, "You need to get up."

"I do?" Thane was even more confused when his comment had her howling with laughter.

"No, you don't... I mean, yes, you do... Oh, quads!" She got down on the floor with him, one hand over her mouth, one on his shoulder. Shepard was grateful when she saw his lips were pulled up in a small smile. "Sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. Oh, hell, I'm a crap girlfriend."

"No, you are not." Thane took her hand, "Perhaps a little crazy..."

"Hey!"

"And often, unfathomable..."

"Is that good or bad?"

"But... crap? Never."

"I don't deserve you, Thane." At his silence Shepard's smile fell and she said, "Er, isn't this where you're suppose to say something nice in return?"

"Not until you share the joke," he said, dryly.

"Ah, quads!" She rolled her eyes, beginning to giggle again. "It's just that, among humans, when a man gets down on bended knee, it's usually to propose."

"Propose..? Oh!"

"Yes."

"Ah."

"Exactly." Shepard smirked then was taken aback when he stood up, quickly, offering his hand to pull her to her feet. "Er, don't panic, it wasn't a hint."

"I know." Thane smiled before asking, "Siha, are you ok? I didn't mean to anger you."

They swapped apologies and reassurances, before Thane suggested, "Shall we join the others?"

"Oh, really? I thought you might want to stay and make up our lovers' tiff."

Through half closed lids, Thane said, "It was more of a misunderstanding."

But Shepard barely heard the words, focusing instead on his half-lidded look, "Hell, Krios, your insatiable."

"Me?" he laughed, kissing her on the forehead. "Anyway, I believe some of the more... optimistic among the crew, made sure to bring aboard a large supply of alcohol, to salute our last night aboard the AJ."

"Oh yes, I heard that too."

"Shall we join them?"

"Yes, lets." She smiled, then paused, "Actually, there is one more thing." She took a deep breath. "You know the Alliance is scheduled to tow the Collector ship away and destroy it, right?" Thane nodded. "Before they do, I'm going back aboard, I want to see it, maybe take back the last of whatever I can't remember. And... Well, it's something I need to do alone."

"You are... protecting me again, Siha."

"Maybe," she shrugged, "just a little. But mostly, I need to do this my way. I guess I... Well, I'd like your blessing, Thane. Plus I really need to go pick up Zaeed's armour."

"You have already bought him new armour." Thane reminded.

"Yeah," she rolled her eyes, "and wasn't it a pain in the ass getting him to accept it... But knowing Zaeed, I think he would want to keep his old armour, display it where an unsuspecting victim will see it, so he can pounce on them and tell them all about the day he helped rescue me." She smirked.

"Hmm, Zaeed does enjoy his battle trophies. It would be a nice gift, Siha." Thane smiled and at her expectant look added, "Of course, you have my blessing."

At that Thane quickly ushered Shepard forward. He was grateful she had told him her plans to visit the Collector ship, and did support her in her wishes to go alone, but found himself unable to consider it properly, right now. He was too preoccupied with other thoughts to remain in the cabin. There was something important he needed to think about, away from his Siha, something he had been pondering on for many weeks now, but which had suddenly taken precedence in his mind. So he deftly escorted her into the mess hall, pleased to be able to sit back and quietly consider his future, properly, for the first time since he woke up to his new life. With his elbows resting on the table, Thane cupped his hands together, almost as if in prayer, and leaned his chin on them, to casually watch his Siha.

"So," she announced to everyone in the mess, "Who wants to make a hangover with me?"

Many hours later, Thane was laying on top of the bed, half remembering the raucous evening, half still meditating over his future, when Garrus slurred over the comm, "Thane? You awake?"

"I am. Is everything ok?"

"Oh, right, good..."

Thane frowned when there was silence over the comm and was about to speak when Garrus suddenly added, "Well, that's good. I'm off to bed now... Oh! I don't think Shepard can walk right now. She's not really moving anymore, at all. I'd carry her in but, I can't walk either."

"Hey, that's no lie!" Jack's voice cut in, "Quick! Come out here, Thane! Come and watch a turian on his hands and knees. It's so fucking funny!"

Whatever Garrus said next was garbled, but it made Jack howl with laughter so loudly Thane heard it over the Comm and through the cabin door.

With a grin, Thane said, "I will come and retrieve Shepard," which caused further laughter as he slipped into his boots.

"Phwor!" Jack bellowed the moment Thane stepped into the mess, "Get a load of the drell's bare chest!" and instantly regretted not slipping into a tunic. Truth be told he was still a little drunk himself.

He found Shepard laying face down on a table. Mordin stood beside her twittering, "Somewhat unhygienic, no?" He took in a deep breath, listing so badly Thane thought he might fall over any second.

"You wanna hand, mate?" Zaeed said, slumped so low in his chair only his head was visible over the table.

Thane declined with, "I suspect standing may not be your forte, right now, but thank you."

Zaeed burped in agreement, making Jack howl with laughter again.

Aside from a few crew still hanging around looking shell-shocked, or slumped in a corner fast asleep, only Miranda sat watching him, a wide wistful smile on her face and her eyes half closed. If she had been a drell Thane may have thought she was attracted to him. As it was he realised he had never seen Miranda this drunk before - nor Garrus for that matter. Thane had looked around for him, but had assumed Garrus had already left. It appeared, however, Jack hadn't been kidding. Thane watched in amusement when he noticed Garrus slowly heading out of the mess hall, quite literally crawling on his hands and knees.

Miranda saw it, too, and muttered, "Other way, Garrus, your quarters are on the left... No, your left."

As Garrus changed direction in slow motion, Miranda wobbled her head back towards Thane, who was lifting Shepard up. "Night, night," She offered, when Thane carried his charge back towards the cabin.

He gently deposited Shepard onto the bed. She was like a rag doll until the moment he laid her down, then she suddenly turned onto her side, and began snoring. Thane chuckled while he took off her shoes and clothes, leaving her to sleep in her vest top and underwear, before laying the duvet over her.

Thane calculated she would be out of it for at least another six hours, so set his omni-tool to wake him in five. Thus ensuring he could escape the cabin before his Siha's morning, and hangover, could begin.

When Shepard woke the next morning, she might have cried, had it not been for the fact she couldn't tolerate any noise, or movement, and anyway was so dehydrated she couldn't make tears. Or saliva for that matter, which she realised when she had to practically force her tongue to un-stick from the roof of her mouth. After opening one eye, very slowly, with some success, she tried to move her head, and groaned at the pain. Then she groaned at the pain the first groan caused.

She decided to stay quiet, and lay very still for a while.

Shepard seriously contemplated the idea that she hurt more now than when she was on the Collector ship, but quickly dismissed this thought. Back then she really was dying, now it just felt that way. The only similarity between then and now was her thirst, which currently raged as much as it had back on the Collector ship. As then, her thirst was what galvanised her to move, and she found pushing herself into a sitting position almost as difficult as those hours spent shoving herself backwards towards that bulkhead, though it didn't take as long this time.

When the cabin finally came into focus, helped by opening her other eye, the first thing she noticed was Thane was nowhere to be seen.

_Coward!_

She grinned, but even that hurt. With a longing look at the bathroom, and the nearest source of water, Shepard turned her head very slowly, with a view to attempting to get up, and noticed her omni-tool glowing faintly, on Thanes side of the bed. She gingerly leaned over to retrieve it, grateful it had been set on mute, but unable to remember when or why she had done so. In fact, she never muted her omni-tool. Shepard realised it had been the ever considerate Thane when she saw his message. Her heart would have burst, if she hadn't felt like shit.

_Siha._

_Please drink the water, and take the Medi-gel, before attempting to play nicely with others._

_Love you._

_Thane._

Her laugh was cut short, and she clutched her head grumbling, "Oh, hell. You bastard."

She vaguely entertained the idea of making Thane pay for that, until she saw the tall glass of water, and single shot of pain relief, next to her. As such Thane's humour was instantly forgiven. The Medi-gel would also help to rehydrate her, but first she drank the single, most nicest glass of water she had ever tasted. At least since her last major hangover over a year ago. Come to think of it, that had been the night she had knocked Kaidan on his ass.

Shepard pushed the derma shot of Medi-gel into her arm, and settled back to wait for it to work, trying hard not to smile at the image of Kaidan's face after she punched him. She and Kaidan had finally made their peace before the AJ lifted off, a lot had been sorted out, and she was pleased to have him back in her life as her friend, better than that, her close friend.

But that night, on what turned out to be the Normandy's last trip to the Citadel before they hit Earth, she'd thought their friendship was finally over for good.

Shepard was surrounded by Alliance marines, but was keeping to herself in the corner of Purgatory's lower bar. She had seen Cortez earlier and now regretted not sharing her grief over Thane with him when she'd had the chance. Cortez would have understood, but with him still feeling the loss of his husband, she didn't want to burden him further. By the time EDI and Joker turned up, the opportunity was gone, and she had reluctantly left Cortez with his own sorrows to go with the others and meet James at the bar.

Eventually they had all left, and she was glad to be alone. After a few drinks, it had become harder to join in with the banter. Just keeping a smile on her face required more effort than she could muster. The alcohol worked to numb her as much as it did her pain.

Shepard hadn't intended to get as drunk as she did, in fact, by the time Javik found her, Shepard was drinking a fruit juice.

"Commander," he said sternly, "are your intentions to sit here all night? Or will we be continuing with our plans to defeat the Reapers?"

Before answering Javik, Shepard motioned to the barman to pour her another stiff one. "I'm off duty, Javik. Clearly Protheans don't need shore leave, but the rest of my crew does."

"I understand, Commander, believe me, I do. However, nothing is more important than the Reapers..."

"Why don't you go fishing on the Presidium, Javik?"

"Uh, fishing? Commander, this is not the time..."

"Seriously! A Krogan once told me you can get fish on the Presidium."

"I fail to understand..."

"You like fish. Go fish, Javik."

Unfortunately Shepard's diplomatic way of telling Javik to leave her alone failed, and in the end she just tuned out the lecture he gave her. She didn't disagree with him, of course, but even if she had, Shepard didn't have the energy, or the will, to argue. Eventually, he left, dissatisfied with her promise to see him first thing in the morning.

"A Prothean walks into a bar..." she muttered, but couldn't think of a way to finish the humourless joke and reached, once again, for her juice.

"Hey, Commander." Kaidan's soft voice greeted as he sat on an empty stool next to her..

_Oh, hell, no!_

She forced a smile at him, pushed away the juice again, and ordered Serrice Ice Brandy for both of them.

Now here was a strained relationship she really didn't want to deal with, right now. She and Kaidan had patched things up after the Reapers had hit Earth and they were thrown back together on the Normandy. It was a necessity if they were going to work together again, but she was genuinely pleased to have her friend back, for a little while at least. After Kaidan had nearly been killed by the platform EDI now occupied, they had talked everything through, while he recovered in hospital. Having seen Kaidan so badly hurt he could have died, she wanted nothing more than to become close to him, again. She was pleased Kaidan seemed to trust her, or wanted to at least, and had given them a chance to find a friendship, again.

Things soon became strained due to various circumstances. First she and Kaidan had a serious face-off, guns pointed at each other, over that damn traitor Udina. This happened just a short time after she had watched, horrified, as Thane had fallen to his knees, Kai Lang's sword thrust through his body. So she was in no mood to argue with Kaidan, or anyone, and would have actually shot Kaidan dead if he hadn't finally rejected Udina's lies, and stood down.

Unfortunately, the next time she and Kaidan had met, was the day Thane had returned to the sea. After saying goodbye to the man she deeply loved, the last person she wanted to bump into was her damn ex. It had been tempting to tell Kaidan to go join his squad of biotics, and there had been a few times since then she wished she had. Instead she did what she always did, dealt with it, and invited him to re-join her crew because he was, after all, an asset to the team.

She had gratefully allowed Garrus to spread the word about Thane. Later on that evening, Kaidan had gone up to her cabin to offer his condolences, and apologies for his poor timing. Again, she thought they could be friends after all. Not like the friendship she enjoyed with Garrus, Liara or Tali, even James come to that. But whatever she and Kaidan could salvage from all the years of circumstance keeping them apart would be a blessing, or so she thought.

Shepard had tried to ignore it, to spend time with Kaidan, but his sullen, morose attitude echoed her feelings so closely, it was all she could do to be in the same room with him. She used to thoroughly enjoy how Kaidan would consider a subject deeply, and philosophise over many things with her. His intelligence and ethics had once been stimulating, and part of what had attracted her to him in the first place. When Thane died, however, she couldn't handle it, anymore. She needed shallow. She needed to focus on the war. Mostly she needed alcohol. Frankly, Shepard didn't give a crap about very much anymore, certainly not the big galactic questions Kaidan seemed hell bent on pondering over. It was ironic, really. Kaidan had complained about her changing on Horizon, yet now, he didn't seem to notice, or care, about her new attitude. It wasn't like she had been hiding it that well. As such, it had come as a huge shock to her when Kaidan had hit on her that afternoon over lunch, by intimating he still had feelings for her.

She had left, feeling nothing but disgust and contempt for the man she once believed she loved. In fact, if it hadn't been for meeting Thane, she may have ended back in a relationship with Kaidan. Now the very idea made her shiver. It wasn't just Kaidan, he was still a very attractive man, despite being a miserable pyjack, not that she could talk... But the thought of being with anyone else was... unthinkable. Even if she did develop feelings for someone else, it would be pointless. No one could follow in the footsteps of that perfect drell, in her eyes. Mostly her disgust at Kaiden came from his timing. Thane had died a mere month ago and it had been only a couple of weeks since she had received the last letter Thane would ever write to her. His goodbye letter. It had meant to give her comfort, and offer her peace, but it had gouged an already open and festering wound inside her. Her only comfort was knowing he was waiting for her across the sea. She believed in Thane, trusted him. Clinging to the idea she would see him again was the only thing keeping her going, determined at least to see the war out and, Gods willing, the galaxy saved. After that didn't matter to Shepard, anymore. Survive or die, to her it was nothing more than a coin-flip by fate.

Having said that, they were facing an all out assault against the Reapers, and may all be dead soon anyway, so maybe she couldn't blame Kaidan for laying his cards on the table and suggesting they rekindle their relationship, or at least start, again. This was the only reason she hadn't punched him over lunch. Instead she had told him, through gritted teeth, it was too soon and left it at that.

"You know, Commander," Kaidan pulled her awareness back into the Citadel's busy club. "I've been thinking..."

_Oh, Gods, no, not with the thinking crap again..._

"When we win this war, if we win this war, we should take that trip to Virmire. You remember? We, er... We talked about taking that trip together once. I guess it was a while back now, though."

She nodded, barely able to contain her ire, not that he seemed to notice. "While back, yeah, before I died." Before he could answer, she added, "To be honest, Kaidan, I can't think past the war, right now."

"Yeah," he sighed, "I sure know what you mean. But, even so, maybe we still could huh?"

_Oh go fuck yourself._

"Yeah, maybe." Shepard drained her glass and pushed it towards the turian behind the bar, pleased when he quietly filled it, then offered the bottle to Kaidan who shook his head.

_Last of the party animals._

She was surprised when Kaidan got off his stool. Suddenly she didn't want to be left alone, anymore, even though a corpse would have made better company than she did right now.

"Shepard. I, I want you to understand, I know what it's like, to lose someone you love. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to rub anything in here, y'know, about you, dying n'all, or anything like that. I just, I want you to know, I get what you're going through, I really do and..." he rubbed the back of his neck, "Well, all I'm trying to say is, if you ever need to talk, I'm always here for you. I just want you to know that."

She wanted to ask him to stay, to share her feelings with him like she used to, hear his comforting, warm voice as he tried to find solutions to make her feel better. She also felt guilty, for being so angry with him, and this only fuelled her anger even more.

With a deep breath she turned to him, hoping the grimace she gave him looked more like a smile. "Thanks Kaidan, I appreciate that. Maybe another time, when I'm not slurring my words."

Kaidan huffed out a low chuckle, "You're not."

"Not yet!" She promised, turning back to lean on the bar.

Instead of leaving, she was aware of Kaidan watching her, while she finished whatever it was the turian had poured her, and asked for another. Torn between wanting to smack Kaidan, or just hug him in the hope all the shit between them could just go away, she ignored him and hoped he would go away, instead.

"Uh, Shepard?"

"Hmm?"

"You wanna come back to the Normandy with me? Maybe, we can get a drink there, chill out?"

_Hell no!_

"Hell no!" She didn't know if he was hitting on her again, or was just trying to be chivalrous and get her back to the ship before she fell over.

_Just like Thane would have if he was here. _

Either way, it was unwelcome.

"Sorry?" Kaidan asked, but before she could lift her head up and repeat herself, he added, "Look, Shepard... Hell, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but, I guess someone has to... Don't you think maybe you need to, uh, pull yourself together here?"

"What?" She banged her glass down on the bar as her head snapped towards him.

"Hey, look, I'm not trying to be mean, here. It's just that, I dunno, I get where you're at Shepard, I really do, at least, I sort of do. Ah, I'm not making much sense am I?" He chuckled. "Ok, right, look, no offence but come on, this isn't you. Right now, you're not the Commander Shepard I know. The Shepard I know wouldn't fall apart like this..."

"Fall apart? What? Kaidan, I'm getting pissed on shore leave. Perfectly normal behaviour."

"No, no, I'm sorry Commander but it isn't. Not alone, like this. Not over..."

"Over what?" She was practically grinding her teeth, glaring at Kaidan. "Over a dead drell?"

"Hell, no! No, that's not what I was going to say. I know you loved him but..." Kaidan looked at her, as if pleading for her help to get him out of the hole he was digging. When she offered nothing he bit the bullet and finished, "Well, no offence, but, you weren't really with Thane that long were you?"

"What?" She spoke in a hiss as steely as the look she pinned Kaidan with. "Are you saying that because I was _only_ with Thane a few months, I shouldn't be missing him so much? Is that how love works for you, Kaidan? It was fine for you to grieve for two years! That was allowed because we had been together longer. But me, well hell, I should have bounced back already! Is that why you hit onto me today?"

"Hey, wait, I didn't..."

"You just decided you were ready to get back with me, and so I should be all ready to move on, too? My God! Y'know what Kaidan, becoming a Major has turned you into an asshole. At least, that's the only way I can explain it."

"Now hang on here..."

"No! You hang on. Thane was ten times the man you are and _that's_ why losing him was worse than losing you..." Shepard knew she had gone too far, but the floodgates had opened on her wrath, and she was determined to make sure Kaidan realised, once and for all, what a selfish prick he was, even if it meant stooping down to his level.

Shepard didn't want to listen to whatever he was about to say next. So, without getting up off her barstool, she swung her arm up and slammed her fist into his jaw, before she even knew what she was doing.

Caught completely off guard, Kaidan reeled backwards into two marines, one of whom fell onto the asari he had been talking to. By the time they had helped the stunned Kaidan up, Shepard had dumped the last of her credits on the bar and told the turian to keep them coming.

After that, waking up to a pounding headache was to be expected. Waking up to see the club at an odd angle was somewhat disconcerting, until Shepard realised she was laying down. But waking up next to Aria T'Loak's disapproving headshake was a hell of a shock, and Shepard sat up far too quickly. Moaning in pain, she tried to remember crossing the club, and falling asleep in the corner Aria had claimed for herself, but couldn't remember anything after she...

_Oh crap!_

She sagged, remembering Kaidan's face, his shock and fury, his heavily bleeding lip.

"You fell off your bar stool," Aria informed her, sarcasm practically pouring out of her, "literally! Some Alliance soldiers had to carry you over here, so you could," she waved a dismissive hand, "sleep it off, or something."

With a pounding headache, and the nagging worry over what kind of shit-storm would be waiting for her back on the Normandy, Shepard had little self-preservation when she looked at Aria's scowl and said, "With respect, Aria, go fuck yourself."

Aria glared at her, then threw her head back in genuine mirth, laughing loudly. Shepard winced.

Aria was still grinning when she lifted her chin to someone, and Shepard turned to stare into a glass of water, so close to her nose, she pulled her head back in surprise, wincing at the pain again. She took the water from whoever's hand offered it with a grunted, "Cheers," and drank most of it in one hit.

"Better?" Aria leered smugly.

"Some, thanks. Cheers for letting those guys dump me on you."

"Actually, it was my idea. They obviously had no idea what to do with you, so I had them bring you over."

"You...did?" Shepard asked, noting Aria's scowl at her poorly hidden surprise. "Oh, well, cheers, Aria. You didn't have to."

"I realise that." Aria said pointedly. With a disinterested shrug, she added, "Somebody had to, I suppose. Anyway, you can consider us even, Shepard. You brought my mercs together and I've just had to endure a torturous three hours listening to your drunken snoring."

Shepard frowned, hoping Aria exaggerated, she quite liked a bit of drama, but chose not to ask for clarification on that. Instead she finished the water and put the glass next to her feet. Offering a slow, careful, nod to Aria, she was about to push herself up, when Aria spoke again.

"I can't say this is the first time I've seen you drunk, Shepard. In fact, I've almost lost count of the amount of times I've watched you being carried out of Afterlife." Aria's grin was shark-like, "Most entertaining, I must say. However, drinking alone, Shepard? Is this a new thing of yours?"

"Well," sighed Shepard, "if it's any consolation Aria, I feel like a Thresher Maw just chewed me up and spat me out."

Aria threw her head back into another laugh. Shepard could only grimace as the sound rattled around inside her head, which was already thumping in time to the music. Again she was about to leave, when Aria suddenly pinned her with a deadly serious look. "So what gives Shepard? Drinking alone? Really? And I saw you knock down that friend of yours. Lovers' tiff was it?"

"Nope, not exactly." This was all she intended to offer, until Aria crossed her arms, and looked down her nose, as if scrutinising an annoying bug.

Shepard huffed, smiling without mirth, and didn't care how self pitying she seemed, "Well, ya see, Aria, I went and took your advice. A few times you told me how I should meet a nice young man, you remember, right?" If Aria did, she wasn't giving anything away, so Shepard continued, "Well, I did. Ok, he was actually a bit older than me by a few years but," she snorted, "what the hell, compared to you asari's..." Aria remained statue like, and Shepard stopped grinning. "Unfortunately, he died, and what with the war and everything, well, I gotta take my chances to get self pityingly drunk when I can. That's it."

"I see." Aria's glare softened just a touch as she informed, "Thane Krios, the assassin."

"Oh. You know abo..."

Aria cut her off with a flick of her hand, and a roll of her eyes, "Of course."

"Of course." Shepard sighed.

"I had a daughter once," Aria told her conversationally, "Liselle. She was murdered."

"Oh... she... shit, Aria..."

"I had initially thought her killer was the man she was seeing, Paul Grayson. Although he went by the name of Johnson at the time."

Shepard frowned, trying to place the familiar name, then it hit her. Anderson and Kahlee Sanders had once perused this Cerberus op, in order to save the life of a young biotic, many years ago now. Grayson's name had also come up in some of the Cerberus files they had recently recovered.

"Grayson turned on Cerberus in the end," Shepard said, almost to herself.

"So it seems, and anyway he wasn't the one who had killed my Liselle, her murderer had been..." Arias face darkened, "Kai Lang. He slit her throat with a kitchen knife and left her to bleed to death." As gruesome as the story was, just hearing that bastard Lang's name was enough to fill Shepard with a stomach churning fury. Before she could say as much Aria went on as if talking about the weather, "Anyway, that's not the point. My point is, losing a loved one isn't easy, obviously. Everyone has their own way of coping. If yours is to drown your sorrows past the point of consciousness, then so be it. I suppose there's no one to avenge, so what else can you do?"

Though not the most compassionate way of offering sympathy, this was probably the best this icy Matriarch could manage, and it touched Shepard. It also made her think. 'No one to avenge' she had said. Kai Lang took both Aria's daughter and the little time Thane had left. Aria must have known Lang was responsible for both deaths. Was she saying Shepard should go after Lang? Suggesting she focus on the revenge Shepard already wanted, instead of falling over drunk and useless in a Citadel nightclub?

Aria had turned away, scowling, but looked at Shepard again when she finally stood up, saying, "Yeah, I think your right, Aria." A look passed between the two women which spoke a thousand words, and Aria smiled.

Before Shepard left she said, "Thanks, for watching my back."

Aria shrugged, "Seems to me the war needs you." Yet the parting smile she gave Shepard was warmer than anything she had seen from those blue lips before.

She walked through the Citadel, back to the Normandy, with one word rattling around in her head, 'revenge'.

It took Shepard a moment to realise she was smirking. She didn't even know if Aria knew Kai Lang was dead. Probably, but even so, it might be nice to show her Lang's sword. Show off more like, but Aria might even manage to approve, however begrudgingly.

As for Kaidan, even that had worked out ok in the end, belatedly. They had apologised to each other once she had arrived back on the Normandy, in the med bay where Kaidan had stayed, sulking after she had thumped him. Doctor Chakwas had remained quiet, but didn't bother to pretend she wasn't listening. Despite the apologies, that air of tension between them had never been cleared, even during what they both thought could well be their last farewell on Earth.

Kaidan had admitted it had taken those first stress fuelled days after the Normandy crashed, and Joker to break several bones in his hand, when he also punched Kaidan, before he fully realised how badly he had been acting. Shepard had told Kaidan how him being M.I.A after the war, and thus potentially dead, was a sobering thought. So under the stunning view of sunlit mountains and lush waterfalls, they had finally made their peace, and finally put the past where it belonged, once and for all. It was amazing how optimistic a person can become upon being rescued, and hearing there were a shit-load of dead Reapers that were proving a pain in the ass to clear up. So, even Kaidan had returned to his old, easy going self.

With an almost contented sigh, Shepard climbed out of bed and headed off to the shower. Her thirst had returned so she wasn't sure if she was going to drink it or just bathe. Either way, she desperately needed a little extra time to try and remember what the hell happened last night.

Thane stepped into the war room, relieved to see only Miranda occupied the area right now. He had initially considered speaking to Liara as, although she wasn't human, she had been around humans for long enough to possibly be able to help with his query. He had then dismissed the idea of asking Liara, as she was likely to, as Siha might say, go all misty eyed and gushy. Garrus probably wouldn't be able to help. In fact he would positively run away citing 'I'm no good at this sort of thing'. Jack would laugh and announce it to the whole ship, same with Joker. Only he would throw in some comments about cuddly drells. Mordin... Gods no, not after his intimate advice even before Shepard had become his Siha . Kasumi was to be the first person Thane intended to approach, but she had vanished. No one had, quite literally, seen her all morning. Thane hadn't been able to find her tell tale shimmer anywhere on the AJ, and he suspected she may still be with the engineer she had left the party with last night. This made Thane smile. This left Zaeed or Miranda, and Zaeed was likely to either look at Thane like he was insane to broach such a subject with him, or tell him a long story which may or may not provide the answers he was looking for.

"Miranda, am I disturbing you?"

"Thane," she smiled, twisting around in her chair to face him, "actually, no. I'm just doing busy work to be honest. I couldn't handle the noisy mess hall this morning. What can I do for you?"

"Oh, believe me," he grinned, "the mess is the quietist I have ever heard it. Few aboard right now can cope with noise."

Miranda looked down a moment, shaking her head slowly as she chuckled, "I can believe that. It was a good party though, eh?"

"Indeed." Thane paused a moment before taking a chair next to Miranda. "I hope you don't mind, but I am looking for some... advice, of a... personal nature."

"I see. Ok then, I'm listening."

"I was wondering, do humans have a... ah," Thane searched for the words, "A particular type of bonding ceremony in order to agree on marriage?"

"A..?" Miranda tilted her head at Thane, "I'm not sure I understand. We have many types of ceremonial rituals in which people get married, but..."

"I apologise Miranda, I am not making myself clear." Thane paused again, looking at the floor as Miranda waited patiently. Finally he asked, "Do humans have a specific ritual in order to ask for someone's hand in marriage?"

"Oh, I see, you're talking about getting eng..." Suddenly, Miranda stared at Thane. "Oh, my God! You're talking about getting eng..." She stood slowly, staring at him open mouthed. By the time she had walked around in a small circle and settled, one hand on her hip, she was grinning. "Well, I'll say this much for you, Thane, you sure know how to drop a bombshell."

For one horrifying minute Thane thought Miranda believed he was proposing to her. So it was to his great relief when Miranda asked, "You're going to propose to Shepard?"

"I... Yes, I believe this would be the next appropriate step."

"Ok," she rolled her eyes, "first thing you need to work on, lighten up. Forget appropriate steps, you don't do this because it's appropriate, you do it because..." She looked at Thane expectantly, then huffed when he merely blinked at her. "Ok," she sat back in her chair, leaning towards him, "How you do it is up to you, but for God's sake think less formality and more romance."

"Romance."

"You know what this is, don't you?"

Thane threw Miranda a mock scowl, "I have been married before, Miranda."

She laughed, "Ok, fair enough. Well look, obviously Shepard is no girly-girl, but she is a woman, and all women want _that_ question popped in a memorable way, for all the right reasons."

"Yes, all drells, too."

Miranda laughed at his dry wit, accepting the jibe, before hunkering down to give Thane some much needed advice, over how he might go about asking his Siha to become his wife.

By the time Shepard made it to the mess hall it was, fortunately, pretty quiet, with most of the crew emptying their personal lockers, ready to leave the AJ.

"Hey, Commander."

She grunted at Joker on her way by, only coffee on her mind. A few sips of that and she was ready to join Garrus, Kaidan, Javik and Joker.

"How you feeling, Shepard?" Kaidan grinned as she sat next to him. "Actually, don't tell me, like a Maw spat you out, huh?"

She chuckled, "You too, eh, Kaidan?"

Sitting with his head between his hands, Garrus muttered, "Can you guys keep it down please?"

"Oh, Commander, you missed Javik dancing," Joker sniggered.

"I was not dancing," Javik answered, sharply, "I was showing Massani a fighting move..."

"Sure looked like dancing to me, Prothy."

Javik glared at Joker. "That is because you were so inebriated, it was beyond your usual comprehension, which already leaves a great deal to be desired, even when you are sober."

"Seriously, guys, not so loud." Garrus complained.

Kaidan shook his head, "The way I hear it, Garrus literally crawled out of here last night."

"Hell, wish I'd seen that," Shepard laughed.

"No problem," Joker said smugly, "we got holo-pics!"

Garrus grunted and Shepard asked, "Seriously?"

"Yeah, I'll show you them later, Commander. Got some awesome ones of you, too!"

"Oh, hell, no."

"Hell, yeah!" Joker nodded.

Shepard looked at Kaidan who also nodded, though more apologetically than Joker.

"You bastards!" Shepard giggled.

"Can't you guys whisper or something?"

"Where's Thane? I want to thank him for breakfast this morning."

"Oh, no," Garrus complained, "please don't say that word."

"You're shitting me, you got breakfast in bed? Aww, that big, old, cuddly drell, eh?"

"Yes, Joker," Shepard laughed, "assuming you count a glass of water and a gel shot as breakfast in bed."

"No. really," Garrus tried to be forceful, but it came out a small whine, "I can't cope right now with even thinking about foohhh... I... can't even say that word."

"Take a shot, Garrus," Shepard told him.

"Yes, please," Joker agreed. "Seriously, Commander, he's going to be impossible all day."

"No, it's worse, makes me throw up."

"What?" Kaidan asked, "It's medi-gel, how can it make you sick?"

"Only when I'm hung-over," Garrus explained.

"That's a bit weird," Kaidan frowned.

"I know. Leave me alone."

"It's psychological," Shepard told them, getting up, and ignoring Garrus' kitten-like protests as she made her way to the medical bay.

When Shepard returned, she was giggling, "Hey guys, if you want to see something really funny, go check out Mordin. I don't think I've ever seen a hung-over salarian before. I swear that horn of his is drooping."

"That would be a physical impossibility," Javik informed her.

Shepard grinned from behind Garrus, "I see Prothy still needs work on his sense of humour. Joker, I'm surprised at you. I would have thought six months stuck with you would have rubbed off on anyone?"

"Or, just made them suicidal," muttered Garrus, hissing in pain at the sound of laughter around him.

When Shepard held up the derma shot of Medi-gel in her hand Joker grinned, shaking his head. She placed it against Garrus' neck and emptied the Medi-gel into his system, then stepped back, folding her arms.

Garrus very slowly brought his head up, his eyes barely open and his mandibles drooping terribly. "Oh... you didn't."

Shepard grinned, "Five... Four... Three... Two... One..."

There was a long pause during which Kaidan exchanged a curious glance with Javik, and Joker covered his mouth to stifle his sniggering.

Garrus suddenly stiffened, muttered several expletives, then, with his mandibles clamped tightly against his mouth, shot out of the mess hall.

"Every god damn time," Joker shook his head.

The AJ docked at the Citadel to a few cheers and handshakes amongst the crew. Apart from Joker who was practically drooling over the mildly uncomfortable pilot, wishing it was him in the jump seat. Garrus was feeling much better and Shepard's headache was gone, but it was a mostly subdued crew Shepard thanked as they made their way through the airlock in small groups.

Awaiting them all in the docking bay was Admiral Hackett, with a few Alliance and Turian Hierarchy brass, as well as a couple of ANN reporters, who gave a running commentary while they filmed, but otherwise left the crew alone.

Hackett congratulated, and quickly dismissed the tired looking crew, before informing Shepard that the bodies in the hold would be transported to Huerta's morgue, until arrangements could be made. They shook hands and after Hackett gave them orders to attend tomorrow afternoons de-brief, he suggested they spend the evening celebrating. Shepard was pleased to see everyone kept a straight face, and as soon as the brass were out of earshot, they quickly agreed no one was in any shape to celebrate, and shuffled off to their respective accommodations.

With just Garrus and Thane left Shepard said, "I've just realised, this will be the first night I finally get to stay in our apartment."

"Indeed." Thane smiled, taking her hand. "I was just thinking the same thing myself, Siha."

Garrus huffed, "Normally I'd say get a room, if you weren't already talking about that very..." he trailed off, eyes growing saucer wide, as his mandibles drooped. Whatever he had seen over Shepard's shoulder, clearly shocked him. After blinking rapidly several times, Garrus slowly parted his lips, "I think... there might be something... Admiral Hackett forgot to tell us."

Shepard frowned, and before she could turn around, she was frozen in place by two words.

"Hey, Lola!"


	13. Chapter 13

36

Chapter 13.

_The More Things Change..._

He sat by the window, unmoving, enjoying the utter stillness of his form. A casual observer may envy his peace. Only the white flash of the drell's inner eyelids across his large black orbs gave an indication he was not a strange emerald statue. Thane stared up into the artificial sky, mimicking the statue in the gardens below. The bronze warrior-angel, who had been watching over the names of so many fallen heroes for nearly four years, like a good shepherd, or Shepard, as most people spelled the word these days.

Thane's lips curled into a smile as he remembered the first time Shepard had seen the statue.

_"You have got to be kidding me."_

He nearly laughed out loud when he recalled an image of Joker, bowing and scraping while he loped along behind her. Joker did this every time they passed the statue together, much to her chagrin. Of course she'd had her revenge; she always did, although it had been over three years in the making, about as long as it had taken to rebuild the Normandy. This was yet another of Shepard's against-the-odds achievements. Pulling together techs and engineers of all races, gaining respect, and the financial backing needed to make the project work, and all this in between the missions Hackett sent her on, usually with a team, but sometimes alone. When she wasn't away you could always find her at the Normandy's permanent dry dock on Earth, sleeves rolled up, doing whatever she could to help out, sometimes yelling her frustration when things didn't work out too well the first time.

The Citadel's artificial blue sky with its white fluffy clouds reminded Thane of the desert sky of Earth, and those days he had spent alone with his Siha. He'd enjoyed the heat much more than Shepard had, so when Koylat surprised them with a brief visit, Shepard was delighted. She quickly left the two men outside for the air conditioned comfort of the hotel. Later she had returned and remarked: _"Hell, you two look just like lizards sunning yourself on a rock."_

_"You sound like Javik, Siha."_

_"Pfff, I seriously need to rethink my relationship with a lizard."_

Thane chuckled. He always did when he remembered how she'd swaggered away, still wet from the pool, throwing up her hands in mock despair when he reminded her it was a little late to rethink their relationship.

His smile fell when his mind drifted away from the past, and towards the immediate future. It had been Shepard's idea. After access to Kahje became viable again and Koylat had expressed a desire to return home, Shepard had offered to 'give him a lift'. At the same time she had encouraged Thane to contact his family, to at least let them know he was still alive. He hadn't expected to be greeted so warmly by those he had abandoned when he finally contacted his family again, nor could he have anticipated an invitation to return home with Kolyat. Thane's initial trepidation had subsided, and he now looked forward to reuniting with those he thought lost to him forever. Shepard's initial excitement, however, had turned to trepidation. Seeing his family again would undoubtedly be yet another bitter-sweet reunion in Thane's life.

Looking down at the gardens below he noticed the keeper at its station. Thane agreed with his Siha, they did look like grasshoppers from up here. Eventually he stood, and turned away from the window. With a brief last look around the peaceful hospital lounge, he made his way towards the lift. It was time to pick Kolyat up and go home.

"Hey, Lola." James leaned against the railing next to Shepard, "Figured you'd be here."

"Yeah, well," she gave him a smile before looking away again, "this is one of my favourite views on the Citadel."

"Hell, yeah," James grinned, and he too looked out at the Normandy, secure in its docking clamps. "It's been months since we got her flying again, and I still can't get enough of seeing her."

Shepard nodded, "She's quite a sight. There were times I wasn't sure we would be able to do it..." She trailed off, chuckling, she had said this too many times, already.

"Nah," James said, also not for the first time, "always figured we would get her flying again. Hell, if they could rebuild my legs from so much mulch..." he shook his head.

"It's just a good thing they were better at fixing you up than keeping their damn paperwork straight!" Shepard was still bitter about that, mostly on James' behalf. The hospital had removed, and promptly lost, his tags. Although they had, apparently, run an ID scan on him, it was never followed up as soon as communications improved, so he had remained a John Doe for months until he could be woken and was able to provide them with his name.

"At least I know why none of you guys could be bothered to bring me any grapes," James teased.

Shepard laughed, even though she wasn't really in the mood. She recalled the gobsmacked delight on Garrus' face at the sight of James, all those years ago. He was sitting in a wheelchair, one leg extended out in front of him, a big grin on his face. He had lost a great deal of muscle mass, and ended up in physio for over a year, not that you would be able to tell by looking at him now. Seeing him that day had been both horrifying and wonderful at the same time. He looked so weak, but he was alive! Poor Thane, just when he thought he had finally seen the back of Huerta Memorial, for a few months at least, he was accompanying her to visit James as often as they could.

"So," James said, "big trip, huh?"

And there was the main reason for Shepard's glumness. "Oh, don't remind me."

"Aww c'mon, it'll be all right. We're all here for you, Lola."

"Yeah, somehow that kind'a makes everything seem, even worse." She grinned. With a sigh she confessed, "I am happy for Thane, really, but... Oh, I dunno, I'm just being stupid, I guess," she shrugged.

"Nah, I get it."

"You do?"

"Sure... who wouldn't?"

"You have no clue, do you?"

"Nah, not really," he confessed with a grin.

"James, you're all heart."

"Oh c'mon, we're getting a VIP aboard with us for a few days, you can't tell me you're not looking forward to that?"

Shepard chuckled, "VIP, Koylat will like that."

"Ha, I bet. It'll be cool, having the Krios family all together."

"Hmm… Interesting times."

James turned towards Shepard, leaning one arm against the railing. "Seriously, how are you holding up? I do get this is a big deal for you, you know?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I know. I'm ok. I think my biggest worry about this damn trip is not..."

Shepard stopped talking suddenly, and could only look at the dawning horror on James' face, as she felt something cold and hard jab into her neck, just behind her ear. It was a familiar a sensation, yet it turned her blood to ice.

"Back off," rasped a deep voice behind her, "or I kill her."

Shepard told James to do as he was advised with just her eyes, and he reluctantly stepped back a couple of paces, his horror turning to tightly held anger.

The batarian wrapped one hand around the top of Shepard's shoulder tightly, and he roughly pulled her backwards, further away from James. The barrel of his gun stayed firmly pressed against her neck.

_This is vaguely familiar... Here we go again._

"I've been waiting for this for too long, Shepard," the batarian told her, his voice quiet and menacing.

She sighed, "Have we met already by any chance?"

"If we had, you'd be dead, already."

Shepard rolled her eyes. It wasn't that this situation didn't frighten her, it did, but this was the third batarian who had shoved a gun under her nose in as many years, and she didn't need to ask why. Instead she waited for the lecture as to why she should be given the death sentence for the mass murder of thousands of innocent batarian's... But the lecture never came, and it quickly became apparent this batarian wouldn't be walking away with a 'bah!' In fact, this particular batarian wasn't going to give Shepard a chance to talk him down, at all. She could feel his anticipation over shooting her at point blank range oozing off him.

He didn't rant, or shout. He simply and solemnly said, "This is for my people."

Shepard only had a split second to realise he was about to pull the trigger.

The noise of the shot in the docking bay was deafening. Many screamed when they saw the blood.

Kolyat was still in his uniform, waiting outside C-Sec, when Thane arrived. They hugged, awkwardly for Thane, due to the large duffel bag slung over one of Kolyat's shoulders.

"You have everything?" Thane asked.

"Yup!" Kolyat grinned.

"Would you like to change before we go?"

"No, I think I'll feel better walking onto the Normandy in uniform, if it's all the same."

Thane chuckled, "I suspect you'd look more out of place in a C-Sec uniform aboard the Normandy."

Kolyat shrugged. "I'll change once were aboard. Anyway, Aunt Mayana has asked for a memory of me wearing my uniform, so I didn't want to get it all crumpled by packing it."

Thane smiled and the two men fell into step together, strolling along the wards towards the lift which would take them to the Normandy's docking bay.

"How was your appointment with the doctor, Father?"

"The same as my last, I am pleased to say. Almost no progression of my Keprel's. I am well." Kolyat beamed, and Thane continued, "They have decided they don't need to see me again for a year."

"Really? No more six-month visits? That is good news."

"Indeed. So tell me Kolyat, what are you looking forward to the most, flying on the Normandy, or returning to Kahje?"

"Oh, er, both!" Kolyat chuckled. "I'm looking forward to seeing home, again, but, it's quite exciting to think I'll be flying on the most famous ship in the galaxy - well, next to the Ascension, anyway. What about you, Father? It's been... a long time since you have been home."

"Hmm," Thane rumbled, "indeed, it has. Like you, I am anticipating a happy reunion with our kin. It has been... too long."

"What of Shepard? She told me she is looking forward to seeing Kahje."

"She..." Thane couldn't find the words to describe the mixture of emotions his Siha had confessed to, so simply said, "Yes, I believe so. Kahje is one of the few world's she has yet to visit, and she is almost as excited as you are about you flying with us." Thane smiled warmly, "It will be nice to have you aboard the Normandy."

Kolyat laughed, "I've been warned it will be an eye opener."

"You have? By who?"

"Er, Jack, Liara, Kasumi, Zaeed, Miranda... Pretty much everyone, really."

Chuckling, Thane said, "Then, I can't argue with my shipmates."

"How long will it take us to reach Kahje?"

"Around four to six days, depending on circumstance. We have a couple of supply drops, then a potential layover before we reach the home world."

"Why only potential?"

"This will be our first trip back to Omega. At least since Aria T'Loak, uh, moved back in. We can't be sure what state the station is in, so Shepard wishes to speak to Aria and assess the situation before deciding if the crew can have a night's much needed shore leave."

"I thought you hated Omega, Father?"

"I... It is not a place I enjoy visiting. Let's just say, there was very little call for people like myself, back when I was an assassin, as the residents there tend to deal with things themselves. Suffice it to say, you must be careful on Omega, Kolyat, assuming we spend time there. Unfortunately, it makes the worst wards on the Citadel look like havens of peace, at times."

"Why are we going to Omega, anyway?"

"We have our final squad member to pick up. A friend of Mordin's who Shepard had arranged to rendezvous with on the station."

"Oh. Well, I hope we stay. I hear Afterlife is quite good!"

Thane smiled, "Assuming it is still there, then, yes. I suppose it is quite... entertaining when the crew get together over a few drinks, as you know."

"It's certainly better than going out with some of the guys from C-Sec!" Kolyat grinned.

Thane simply shot him a wan smile. Though Kolyat had come to know most of the crew quite well, and had spent his fair share of evenings out on the Citadel with them over the years, it was fairly tame compared to the few layover's on Omega Thane had been witness to in the past. After all, the motto was, 'what happens on Omega, stays on Omega'. Thane believed this was probably for the best. He smiled quietly to himself as they approached the lift and Kolyat hit the call button.

"One thing I've been meaning to ask, Father - did Shepard keep the wall?"

Thane frowned for a second, "Oh, the memorial wall?" At Kolyat's nod, Thane continued, "Ah yes, the wall was salvaged along with most of the CIC. The last time you saw the Normandy in dry dock they were re-building the engines, were they not?"

Kolyat stepped into the lift saying, "Hmm, 'that damn wall', she hates it."

"Only in that it represents those lost to her, not the wall, itself." Thane smiled, hitting the button to take them to their docking bay.

"No, she told me she hates that wall, and would have it replaced with a new one if she could."

"Ah, yes, perhaps because it once had my name etched into it."

Kolyat nodded sombrely, then, with a smirk said, "Although, she did tell me there have been a few times when she felt like etching your name back onto the wall herself."

"After throwing me out of an airlock," Thane chuckled.

"I'm sure she was only joking, Father."

"Oh indeed, most of the time, at least." The two men laughed as they stepped out of the lift, and Thane continued, "I have to say, Shepard has..." he trailed off, blinking at the commotion as they approached security.

Officers were running back and forth, amidst the screams and shouting coming from beyond the doors to the visitors lounge.

Thane and Kolyat looked at each other and hurried forwards. They were briefly stopped from entering the docking bay, until the turian security officer noticed Kolyat's uniform and allowed them through with a, "Sorry, Sirs."

They ran through the door, past the visitors lounge, and Thane took in the scene within seconds. A few C-Sec officers were moving a few curious onlookers out of the way. Other officers were milling around what looked like someone lying on the floor. Thane saw a flash of red hair from between their legs, the blue of an Alliance uniform. One of the officers slipped, quickly regaining his balance as he ran past, and with growing horror Thane saw what the officer's foot had slid in. Blood, human blood. Beyond the knot of officers stood James, fists clenched, angry eyes which looked out from an unusually pale face.

Thane had to stop himself from pulling Kolyat out of the way when he dropped his duffel bag and quickly approached one of the security officers, asking, "What's the problem here?"

"Please sir, if you can move bac..." When the human officer looked at Kolyat, he quickly said, "Oh, sorry, Sir. It's... er..." Unable to describe the scene, he stepped back to allow Kolyat to see for himself.

"Gods," muttered Thane when he saw the blood was Shepard's. It covered one side of her face, her shoulder and most of one sleeve on her uniform was soaked with an odd claret colour, it looked black to Thane. It was with a perplexed horror he watched his Siha's blood, as it dripped in slow, consistent splatters, from the side of her head onto the batarian she had pinned to the floor.

One of her knee's dug into his chest, and one of his hands was pinned down by the heel of her boot, his other hand twisted painfully at the wrist she held. She was practically nose to nose with the horrified batarian, her face a mask of molten fury, while she choked the life out of him.

No wonder the security officers seemed unable to act. Shepard was a Spectre. None of them would be prepared to go against the wishes of a Spectre to deal with this matter themselves, even if she did need medical attention, or was in the process of murdering someone. Even without knowing the circumstance, Thane wanted to step in, snap the batarian's neck, and get Siha to the aid she needed. He only waited because Kolyat, who had an edge with Shepard the other officers didn't, crouched down beside her.

"Shepard," he said gently, but firmly, "You're killing him."

"Oh? Really?" She seethed. She glanced at Kolyat, softening slightly when she saw who it was. After glowering at the batarian again, she relaxed her grip on his windpipe just enough for him to gasp a few breaths, his four eyes blinking fearfully up at the murderous face above him.

"James?" She asked, not taking her eyes of the batarian, "Did this bastard shoot my ship?"

"Nope, he missed that, too." Though James spoke mildly, it was through clenched teeth. "Don't let a small thing like that stop you, though, Lola. You can kill him for me. Sooner the better, though, huh? You're bleeding all over the guy."

Shepard moved her hand, roughly cupping the batarian's chin, and forcing his head to turn towards Kolyat. "See that drell?" She hissed. The batarian's top two eyes rolled towards Kolyat, then back to her, "He just saved your sorry ass." With that she sat up, dropped his wrist then pulled her fist up, before driving it down into his face. The batarian howled and brought his hands up to his face, rolling to one side as Shepard stood up.

Thane noticed her hands shaking a little as James told the officers, "You can arrest him for attempted murder, or maybe assassination, whatever gets him the most years in jail."

It was only when the batarian was pulled up to his feet by a couple of security Thane noticed the gun under James' boot.

"I can walk!" The batarian shook himself free of the officers hands. There were about thirty C-Sec officers now, the batarian couldn't go anywhere, so they allowed him to walk unaided.

As one of them retrieved the gun, the rest followed the batarian. The prisoner nearly fell over when he tried to shove his way past Thane, walking smack into the drell's densely coiled muscles. Thane simply blinked, fighting hard to suppress the urge to break the would-be killers neck. The batarian stumbled and an officer grabbed him to haul him away.

Both Shepard and James sagged and Thane was next to her in two quick steps.

"Siha." he pulled her into his chest, barely able to contain his relief.

"I'm ok... Ow!"

"I'm sorry." Thane allowed her to step back then caressed her chin to gently tilt her head sideways and assess the damage. "What happened?"

James shook his head, "Too close. Man, the guy was loco!"

Thane moved out of the way when a medic approached.

"I'm fine," Shepard barked, "I'll let the Normandy's doctor take a look, thank you." The medic left her with a large pad to hold over her badly mauled ear and the gash in her temple.

"What's going on?" Kolyat demanded, now looking as shaken as Shepard was.

"Oh, Kolyat," she gave him a quick, one armed hug, before telling them, "Ah, just another batarian who didn't like the cost of the subscription fee to my fan club."

Thane inwardly winced at her dark description. He knew the events of all those years ago in the Bahak system still pained her.

"She did a Kai Lang," James told them. "Just as the guy pulled the trigger, she... moved," he shook his head in disbelief. "Sorry, I blinked, so pretty much missed it all. I'm not kiddin', don't think I've ever seen anyone move that fast."

"Not fast enough," Shepard complained, "still got shot... Shit, my ear is ringing."

"Huh, what's left of it, Lola."

"Is it really that bad?"

Thane gently pulled her close, "It probably looks worse than it is," he told her, unsure if this was to comfort her or himself. "At first, I thought it was you lying on the floor." He took a deep breath. "You have lost a fair amount of blood," he looked around at the smeared mess on the floor, "we should get you to the Normandy."

Shepard gave Thane a squeeze and nodded, carefully. Looking at Kolyat, she said, "Good timing, Kol. Not sure if I shouldn't have just killed him, but thanks."

Kolyat simply shrugged one shoulder, "Anytime, Shep."

"Yeah, right," James grumbled. "But next time, take your time, huh. God damn batarian asshole." Turning to Shepard, he said, "Here, lemme see." After she had briefly removed the pad she was gingerly holding over her ear, James said, "Hell, it's pretty cabbaged. But nothing the doc can't fix, I reckon."

Shepard nodded, "Come on, let's get onto the Normandy. Kolyat, I'll let Thane show you around the ship while I sneak into the med bay - with as little fuss as possible, I hope."

"No problemo," James said.

Shepard put her free hand across Kolyat's shoulders, and quietly escorted him through the airlock. With a wink, she and James left him and Thane at the cockpit door.

Thane watched them go, torn between accompanying them, and staying with his son. Fortunately, Kolyat would likely prefer a quick tour of the ship, so they could go see how Shepard was as soon as possible.

"Hey, Commander." Joker looked behind him without turning around in his seat. "Oh! Where'd she go? Hey Kolyat!"

"Hello, Kolyat," EDI said. "Welcome aboard."

"Thanks!" Kolyat's eyes darted around the cockpit, taking everything in.

Turning to Joker, EDI said, "Aren't you going to turn around, and welcome Kolyat properly, Jeff?"

"Wasn't planning on it, no," Joker muttered.

Leaning against the doorframe, Thane smiled at his bemused son, and said, "I believe you should Joker. It is, after all, only polite."

"Not gonna happen!"

"Turn the chair around, Jeff."

"Awww, EDI! Shit..." Joker slowly turned his chair to face Thane and Kolyat then put his chin in his hand, rolling his eyes skyward with a huff.

"Gods!" Kolyat said, trying to keep the disgust from his face as he looked upon the most lurid seat covering he had ever seen. Joker sat surrounded by a mixture of brown, purple, orange, green and pink colours, in vague flower patterns and swirls. It was truly hideous to look at.

Knowing Joker had designed the seat himself, Kolyat tried to be diplomatic, "That's... unusual."

"Hey, don't think this was my idea! My seat had lovely black leather!" Joker huffed again.

"Siha's revenge," Thane grinned.

"You should have seen the expression on his face, Kolyat," EDI said with a smile, "We should have taken some photographs... Oh, no, wait, we did."

Thane explained. "Shepard had Jokers seat cover changed at the last minute. He only discovered the change shortly before the Normandy's maiden voyage. It was... payback, for all the stunts Joker had pulled on the crew over the years, while we were rebuilding the ship. Now you know why he has stopped embarrassing Shepard whenever they are near The Good Shepard statue on the Citadel."

"Oh." Kolyat grinned. "But, the Normandy has been flying a few months now, and you haven't changed it, Joker?"

At this EDI rolled her eyes, and Joker sat up, grinning. "Well see, I was going to. Then I figured you guys have to look at it more than I do anyway, so I decided to keep it."

"Oh... dear." Kolyat pressed his lips together to stifle his laughter.

"Yeah, I know," Joker giggled. "How cool is that?" He swivelled back to his controls so he could undock the Normandy. Before he did, Joker asked, "So, the Commanders not here. Who's gonna say it?"

Thane whispered into Kolyat's ear, who looked at his father, then EDI, who nodded with a smile. With a huge grin, Kolyat said, "Get us out of here, Joker!"

"Hell, yeah! Let's take you guys home!" Joker grinned.

Thane gave Kolyat a little time to watch the Citadel shrink and vanish into its nebula where it had been returned to just last year, before starting the tour. After a brief pause to greet Specialist Traynor, Thane showed him Liara's room, introducing him to Glyph and explaining that this room used to be the Armoury before it was turned into the Shadow Broker's base of operations. With the lab locked until a full-time scientist was able to staff it, and the comms room likely empty, Thane escorted Kolyat down to the Shuttle Bay and Armoury, where Sarah Williams had just finished working on a shuttle and was preparing to join most of the team in the mess.

On the engineering deck Thane pointed out Zaeed's quarters, and opposite that the clean room where their resident quarian lived, before taking him downstairs, along the small corridor past the door to Jack's lair, and back up into engineering. Only Adams and Ranger were there and, again, after brief greetings, Thane took Kolyat up to the Crew Deck.

Kolyat was shown his room and its breathtaking view. Thane told him this was once where Samara resided, and waited until he had put his duffel bag on the bed before finishing the tour. Thane pointed out Kasumi's room opposite Kolyat's, then showed him where Miranda worked, and where Garrus calibrated, before the two men stepped into the Med Bay.

"She is in life support," Doctor Michel said straight away. "And she is fine. Hello, Kolyat. I've not seen you in a while."

Again they didn't waste time and after greeting the doctor, re-entered the busy mess hall to head straight for Life Support.

Kolyat paused at the door. "This is where you once... er, stayed, Father?"

"Indeed." Thane smiled.

"Shep still comes here?"

"She works here. I'll let Shepard explain it to you, come on."

Kolyat followed Thane into another room on the ship which looked vastly different than it used to.

"Welcome to my office," Smiled Shepard, leaning back in her chair. No trace of her injury could be seen under her long hair, and at Thane's silent, questioning look, she told him, "I'm fine. Ear's a bit swollen, but it all glued back together ok. I'll have reconstructive surgery once the swelling has gone." Though looking much more relaxed, James shook his head, but offered no more as he sat in the two-seater sofa opposite Shepard's desk. She asked Kolyat, "Did you enjoy the tour?"

"Yes, thank you. I can't get myself lost on the Normandy, now," he joked. "So," he looked around the small room, "this is where Father originally lived?"

"Yeah. Although the only similarity are the junctions and monitoring equipment for life support." She nodded towards the bulkheads either side of the door then stood. "This is where the table he used to clean his guns on was," she pointed towards her desk. "And that," her finger moved to the large square of softly diffused light casting a pleasant glow over her terminals and the many pads scattered across her desk, "used to be a window, with a view into the engine core."

Kolyat's eyes took in the room, and eventually settled on the shelves dominating the bulkhead behind Shepard's desk. "Father said you had an impressive collection of model ships, Shep."

"That's only half of them, the rest are in the cabin. The old shelves that used to be there were where your dad kept his guns."

Kolyat nodded, "Where was your bunk, Father?"

"There," Thane pointed to the bulkhead opposite Shepard's desk and sofa, towards the space under the shelf with Shepard's space hamster, and the books she had borrowed from Kasumi but not read yet.

"That can't be the same space hamster you had during the war, is it Shep?"

"Sure is, the little guy just won't quit," she grinned.

Finally, James spoke, "So what do you think of the Normandy, Kolyat? Glad to be here?"

"Oh yes, it's... wonderful."

"One hell of a cool way to go home, huh? We were just talking about that, eh, Lola?" James grinned.

"Yes, James," Shepard rolled her eyes.

"Yeah," James said, "she was just telling me how much she is looking forward to meeting the family."

"Oh," Shepard crossed her arms, "You had to go there didn't you, James?"

Both James and Thane laughed, the latter saying, "This could be a unique memory for you, Kolyat. It isn't often you will see Siha afraid of something."

"Oh no," James chuckled, "try petrified!"

Shepard shot back, "You're just saying that because you crapped yourself earlier."

"Hell, yeah, so did you!"

"I don't understand," Kolyat said.

"Yeah, c'mon, Lola, what gives? I've seen you bitch-slap a Thresher maw and go toe to toe with the Reapers before kicking their asses. What could be so scary about meeting the in-laws?"

"James," she huffed, "maybe one day you'll understand, assuming you can find someone willing enough to put up with you and be your partner!"

"Oh, this is going to be so much fun!" James grinned.

"Right," Shepard laughed. "That's it, out you go, you two. Leave me and Kol in peace."

James chuckled all the way to the door, but before Thane left, he gently pushed Shepard's hair back to reveal her gnarled looking ear. Clearly it would heal in time, and she would have a few more scars to add to her collection. "I will see you in the mess," Thane told her, lightly kissing her forehead.

"Won't be long," she said quietly in his ear. "Love you."

Once she and Kolyat were alone, he asked, "So this is the unique life support system?"

"Actually, no, that's all regulated in the AI core behind the medical bay. I'll show you later." Shepard motioned for Kolyat to join her on the sofa.

As he sat, he said, "I was surprised to see the clean room, down in engineering."

"Ah, in Grunt's old quarters, and Javik's. Yes, it was where our resident quarian was able to un-suit when he first joined us, but with the geth regulating the atmosphere, he is able to spend longer and longer out of the clean room without his suit. It's similar to what they have been doing back on Rannoch, but you'll need to ask Ranger, or one of the other two geth, about it for all the technical stuff." Shepard grinned.

Kolyat nodded then asked, "So, what was all this stuff about in-laws?"

"Oh, just human humour. You know what an in-law is right?"

"Vaguely."

"Among humans, when a couple gets married, their families become related 'in law', but the term is often used for couples unmarried, too."

"Er... yes." Kolyat said, clearly unconvinced but unwilling to be subject to confusing humanisms any further. Looking around the room again, Kolyat said, "Father was surprised, happily so, when you decided to use this room. He said you had many... emotive memories of life support, much of them unhappy ones."

"Oh, not all of my memories are bad," she told him, smiling at those times she had spent getting to know Thane after he had first joined the team. Her mind wandered back to that morning she and Thane had spent together in the downed Normandy's life support, and she had to force herself not to grin. "But yeah, when Garrus first suggested I turn this room into a work space, I kind'a told him he was off his head." She laughed. "I had decided I just wouldn't have anything to do with this room anymore, pretty much the way I hadn't back before I met your dad, on the SR1. But with Thane and I sharing a cabin, an extra work space to keep all my crap was a good idea. Plus it saves Thane having to go into stealth mode and creep around the cabin while I'm working."

Not that this bothered Thane. Hell, he found it impossible to move around anywhere but silently anyway. Shepard preferred to work alone, there were enough distractions to keep her permanently behind on the paperwork as it was, without a hot drell hanging around just a few feet away. Plus, it was good to have somewhere to come to for a private sulk, or a quite fume, on those rare bad days. Most of all, it fixed the problem of Thane having to graciously leave his own quarters every time a crewman needed a quiet word with her. Now she could just use the office, or 'Shep's Den' as Kasumi had christened it.

"It must have been..." Kolyat searched for the words, "I'm not sure how to say it, maybe, cathartic? To take back this space, and make it your own? It must have... helped to put the past firmly where it belonged, perhaps?"

Shepard considered this as she looked at Koylat, "Are all drell's such deep thinkers? Or is it just the Krios boys?"

He grinned, "I guess you'll find out when we get to Kahje, Shep."

"Oh God's, don't!" Shepard slumped in her seat, arms folded, "I'm nervous enough as it is, already."

"Why?" Kolyat laughed. "Two drell's have already come to love you, and I know you get on with Liara's friend Feron, because he has told me himself. So why would you think meeting the family would be less positive?"

"Honestly, I don't, not really. It's just a little scary meeting the in-laws, as it were. But even more scary, what on earth are they gonna make of the rest of the team!"

"It's ok," Kolyat sniggered, "we've warned them."

"Oh Gods!"

"They are looking forward to it, Shep. There's going to be quite a gathering."

"What?" Shepard balked.

"Father didn't tell you? Oops!"

"Oops?"

"He didn't mention Nyahir, the hanar holiday?"

She shook her head.

"Nyahir means 'first cresting bloom', it's a religious holiday, but everyone joins in with the festivities. The names of the winners of a traditional competition are written across Mount Vassla, an underwater volcano, in bioluminescence, which you can see for a whole year."

"Wow, I'd like to see that!"

"Oh you will. The holiday lasts thirteen days, and we will be arriving pretty much in the middle of it. It means all of our family and friends will be on holiday, so will be there to greet you." Kolyat grinned, mischievously.

Through gritted teeth, Shepard muttered, "I, am, going, to, kill, your, father!"

"Sorry, Shep," Kolyat laughed, "I'm with James. A roomful of drell is hardly as scary as many of the enemies you have faced."

"Ah, see, that's where you would be wrong," Shepard held a finger up. "Maws and Reapers? Predictable. The former just wants' to kill you, the latter wants to turn you into a husk, then kill you. All nice and simple. But in-laws? Now, they're unpredictable, and you can't really just shoot them and have done with it. Although, I have heard many people say they would, if they could get away with it."

"I have heard a number of human jokes about a mother-in-law."

"Yeah, Joker's been telling them for days, now," she rolled her eyes. "I guess you've never even met Thane's mom, have you?"

"Once, about a year before I left Kahje. it was after her husband died, so I didn't get to meet him. She is very elderly, now, so this is likely to be Father's last opportunity to see her."

"Quads, she hasn't seen him since he was six years old!"

Kolyat nodded, "And he has yet to meet his brothers and sisters."

"It's a bit mind blowing to be honest. You think he's ok? He seems to be, but what to do you think?"

"Oh yes, he is looking forward to it as much as I."

"Good. Y'know, I am, too. I'm just, well, the Alliance didn't train me for this," she laughed. "And to answer your question, yeah, it was good to take back this space. I'm glad Garrus pushed me into it, well, he and Thane. Apparently Garrus came up with the idea after a comment Thane made way back when we were on the AJ." Before Kolyat could comment, she stood, "You hungry?"

"Getting there."

"C'mon then."

Before they reached the mess, Kolyat paused at the memorial wall, and Shepard stood beside him.

"It was strange seeing Zaeed's cabin." Kolyat said.

"Oh?"

"It was where Diana reported from wasn't it? I often watched those reports, from Father's bedside. For much of that time, Father's name was on this wall."

"Hmm, that was one name I was very happy to see removed," Shepard sighed. "Unfortunately, many more have replaced it since then. One day, I'll get a new wall." She muttered.

Most of the team were eating when they entered the mess, and though she knew Koylat had already been made familiar with the ship Shepard pointed a finger towards the main battery, saying loudly, "That's where Garrus endlessly calibrates."

"I heard that!" Garrus shot over his shoulder.

Koylat laughed, and they made their way to the kitchen. "It was nice to see Doctor Michel, again."

"Yeah. Never thought I'd talk her into working on a ship. I think she missed us messing up her hospital."

"She says she only came on board to keep an eye on Father."

"Yeah, and Joker! Doctor Chakwas would have been pleased, she liked Chloe."

As they turned to take their food to a table, a familiar voice said, "Kolyat! Hey, nice to see you again!"

Kolyat froze, watching the unfamiliar alien approach. He was a shocking sight, his pale skin pulled over an angular face, only the creatures shining eyes stopped him looking skeletal, but only just.

Out of the corner of his mouth Kolyat muttered, "Who the Gods is that?"

Shepard laughed, "Oh hell, I forgot, you've never seen Kal'Reegar without his mask, have you? Or any quarian, for that matter."

"Oh! Kal, hello! No, it's been a while."

Kal and Kolyat shook hands, warmly, while Shepard took her and Kolyat's food over to a table.

"Not since Shepard dragged us all to that damn desert!" Kal chuckled. "A few hours there, and I was still sweating a week later."

"I liked it," Kolyat grinned.

"I'm with Kal," Shepard called over, "A week in that place and I couldn't wait to leave."

Thane looked up at her, grinning, then laughing when she shook her head at his half closed lids. She wandered off to get drinks, and Thane sat back to watch his

son and his Siha.

As James passed his table, he paused, following Thane's gaze, "Must be nice to have the family aboard, eh?"

"Yes, very much so." Thane smiled.

Over the past few years Thane had quietly observed the blossoming relationship between Kolyat and Siha. To his surprise and delight, they had eventually become closely bonded as they became more and more comfortable in each other's company. The two people he loved more than anyone in the galaxy had each confided in him how much they had come to care for the other. When apart they would often write to each other. Yet they both still insisted Thane send the other kisses, whenever he and Kolyat mailed, despite the fact Kolyat and Shepard wrote to each other just as often. It was an annoyance Thane was more than happy to put up with.

Through Shepard, Kolyat had developed a taste for Serrice Ice Brandy, and in return Kolyat had introduced her to a new game called 'Reaper Invasion', in which the protagonist, Commander Shearer, would endlessly shoot ever more formidable Reaper foe. Occasionally the character would make comments, which differed depending on which race the gamer chose to play. Kolyat's drell character said, "Go to the sea, and drown yourself you motherfucking Reaper!" Shepard's human character yelled, "Let's go kick some Reaper ass," or alternatively, "I'm Commander Shearer, and this is my favourite dead Reaper on the planet."

Sometimes, she would switch to the turian character, because he had sniper ability. All he said was, "And here was me thinking these Reapers were actually tough. Oh well, let's go find some more, shall we?" As it was made by the same company who made Blasto the Jellyfish, there was also a hanar Commander Shearer who no one played because he constantly, and annoyingly, shouted, "Enkindle this!" every five minutes.

Thane couldn't see the attraction in the game himself, but he enjoyed listening to the laughter and banter between Kolyat and Siha when they played. Kolyat often sounded like one of the Normandy's team, rather than the respected C-Sec officer he had become. No doubt, this would come in handy for him over the next few days.

"So," Kasumi suddenly appeared, and took a seat next to Thane, "what's it like having Kolyat aboard? Must be strange."

"It is," Thane agreed, "though, not unpleasantly so."

"Well you're obviously happy, I can tell."

"Indeed."

"Though, I know you would rather we weren't going to Omega, but it'll be fine, I'm sure."

"Hmm, I suspect it is still a den of iniquity and not a place I would encourage Kolyat to visit."

"Better he gets a taste of it with us though, eh?"

"That is what worries me Kasumi, that he does develop a... taste, for Omega."

Kasumi waved a hand, "Oh that won't happen, Kolyat is too much like you!"

"He... is?"

"Oh yes, can't you tell?"

"Hi Father. Hi Kasumi," Kolyat smiled, taking the seat opposite Thane, as Shepard dragged up a chair to sit between them.

"Hey Shep," Kasumi grinned, "looking forward to seeing Kahje?"

Kasumi was already standing when Shepard told her, "And you can fuck off as well!" With a loud giggle Kasumi left them to it.

"So," Shepard glared at Thane, trying not to smile, "seems I had no idea what I was letting myself in for, at all!"

"Ah!" Thane said, glancing at Kolyat, who just kept his head down to eat his meal.

"Still," Shepard continued, "I'm glad Kolyat's aboard, he reminds me some drell can actually be fun to have around."

Kolyat snorted, which turned into a cough when he nearly choked on his food, eliciting a bigger laugh than Shepard's joke.

After a moment, Thane told Shepard, "I can be fun."

At that Kolyat laughed, telling them, "Please, don't you two start, I'd like to eat this, not breath it!"

Shepard grinned, chewing on her own food. Then, deliberately timing her words while Thane was drinking his tea, she announced, "I can't wait to get Kolyat pissed on Omega." She laughed hard when Thane half choked, and had to wipe his chin.

"That's two for two, Shep!" Kasumi said from behind her.

"I know," Shepard grinned at Thane and Koylyat, "I am so awesome at this." She looked at one man, then the other, before putting her head down, muttering, "Ok, getting glared at in stereo here..."

It was late when Thane finally said goodnight to Kolyat, making sure he was settled before retiring to the cabin, where he found Shepard at a terminal.

"Hello, beautiful," Thane greeted.

Shepard held a finger up for a few seconds while she finished reading something, and as Thane took off his boots and flopped on the bed, she turned to him, smiling a knowing smile. "How's Kolyat? All settled?"

"He is, yes. And what's on your mind?"

"I've just had a letter from Kaidan."

"Ah, how is he doing?"

"Oh, he's ok. Enjoying his Spectre work, but still a bit annoyed the Council decided two Spectres on one ship was too many."

"Hmm, understandable, I know he was torn between continuing with his Spectre position and staying with the crew."

"Yeah. Anyway, you will never guess who he bumped into, on Ilium!"

"Kaidan is on Ilium?"

"Not the point!"

"Ah, ok," Thane pondered a moment, "Javik?"

Shepard huffed, "How did you know?"

Thane shrugged, "Simple deduction. I assumed it must have been someone we know well, and of all those it couldn't be Mordin, as he's awaiting our arrival on Omega, so Javik seemed the most obvious choice."

"Have you been reading Kasumi's Sherlock Holmes Books?"

"I have not, though, I would like to."

"Huh, I guess that's elementary, my dear Thane." She didn't explain that one. "Ok, so guess what Javik has been doing on Ilium?"

"Hmm, that... has me at a loss, I'm afraid, Siha. When Javik announced he wouldn't be joining us, he was very coy over his plans."

"He's promoting his new book." Shepard grinned.

"He's... written a book?"

"It's called... Oh hell, Liara is going to be so pissed off... 'Prothean History, Legacy, and How They Saved This Cycle'."

"That's a rather long title."

Shepard chuckled, "I know, but apparently it's selling like hot cakes!"

"Hot cakes?"

"Never mind, it's selling well. I'll have to get a copy. After I break the news to Liara."

"Hmm, she was hoping to write a book with him wasn't she?"

"Yup." Shepard stood, stretched, and made her way over to the bed. "I'll tell her in the morning, before we hit Omega."

As the couple undressed, Thane asked, "How long until we get to Kahje?"

"Oh, maybe three days. We'll hit Omega, drop these supplies off at the colonies then go scare the hell out of your family."

Thane chuckled as he slid into bed, "I don't believe anyone onboard will do that."

"Not deliberately, no," Shepard snorted, sliding in beside him. "You gonna be ok, not coming with me to pick up our new scientist?"

"You have been through a few battles without me over the last few years, Siha. I understand I cannot accompany you on every mission, and believe I should stay aboard with Kolyat rather than have him worry about us both. Hopefully, Aria will have Omega back under control, I'm sure it will be fine. Just be careful, as always, my Siha." He kissed her head as she snuggled up to him.

"I always am. Maybe I'm getting old, but I think I'm less gung-ho than I used to be."

"Hmm, perhaps on the battlefield, but," he gave her his half lidded look, "in the bedroom, however..." Suddenly he grabbed her and pinned her onto her back, waiting until she had stopped giggling to kiss her deeply.

After they made love, Shepard lay back in Thane's arms, while he toyed his fingers through her long hair. She only let it grow because Thane had been fascinated by it. He loved to brush her hair and had even taught himself to plait it. She didn't have the inclination to mess around with it, often going on missions with her hair up in a haphazard pony tail. There was a line of sweat along her hairline, and Thane grinned, remembering the pleasure on her face, as he pressed her body against the fish tank.

Eventually Shepard rolled onto her stomach to look at him, propping her chin in her hands. "I swear you have more stamina the older you get."

"Hmm," he grinned, "you do rather inspire me, Siha."

She snorted.

"Corny?" He asked.

"Hmm..."

"Cute?"

"Er..."

"Sweet?"

"Yeah, that's it. Sweet, in a corny kind'a way."

Thane shook his head, "I am not sure if I will ever understand the human rules of affection. I am beginning to think it is you, Siha, whose appreciation of romance is inadequate."

"What? Hello? Can't do romance? What about Earth, and that damn hot desert?"

"That was a special occasion."

She bat her eyelids at him, and put on an annoyingly cutesy voice, "Oh, but Thane, every day is a special occasion with you." When Thane offered her his impassive look, she grumped, "Oh, come on! That didn't make you wanna puke just a little bit?"

Thane shook his head, laughing, and as his eyes fell onto the fish tank, his memory suddenly took him back to a much earlier time.

_She wipes away my tears, my shame, my bitterness, and my confusion. She tells me, "Be alive with me tonight." I melt into her kiss. She takes my breath away, and I have no doubt, if I could live forever, I would love her forever. I wish, more than anything, I could give this warrior-angel more than just my heart. But I have nothing else to give. Not even time..._

"Thane?"

He blinked away the vision of her face, and saw her again, the same features changed only by a few more scars, and the length of her hair.

"Where did you go?" She asked, gently.

"Back to the first time we made love. To the moment my heart first broke with love for you."

She kissed him gently on the cheek then reminded him, as she often did, "I love you." He wrapped his arms around her, and she asked. "Are you happy, Thane?"

"Hmm, I believe that was... stupid question number one hundred and thirty seven."

"What? I have _not_ asked over a hundred stupid questions in three years!"

"Actually, I was being conservative, by not including all the marginally stupid questions."

"Oh, that's it!" She huffed, putting a hand on his chest to give him a shove as she pushed herself up and out of bed, moving too fast for Thane to catch her. "I'm going for a shower. Alone!"

Thane put his hands behind his head, watching her walk away. Before she reached the bathroom door, he said, "Siha?"

Half turning, she muttered, "What is it, drell?"

"I have never been more happy, nor more content, in my life." He grinned, enjoying the sight of her melting.

"Aww Thane, now _that's_ romantic."

"Ah," he teased. "And I was simply reaching for sincerity."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," she muttered, entering the bathroom with a huff.

Thane heard the shower and smiled, jumping out of bed to follow. He walked into the waters spray, wrapping his arms around her to pull her against his chest. She moaned when he slid his hands up to her breasts, and when his lips found her neck she dropped the washcloth she was going to use, and placed her palm flat against the wall in front of her.

"Now, Siha," he whispered. "You mentioned stamina?" He pulled her hips towards his.

"Gods," was all she could gasp.

"You know what, Shepard," Kal'Reegar said from behind his mask, as he stood next to Jack in the Normandy's airlock, "I've not been on Omega in years. Not since my own pilgrimage."

"Shit!" Jack said, "How'd you end up in this dump?"

Kal didn't get the chance to answer. As soon as the airlock finished its cycle, and the door opened onto the space station, allowing Shepard to step out, the gunfire began.

It was an ambush. Shepard counted at least six krogan, waiting for them at the end of the docking bay, as she returned fire.

"Holy fuck!" Jack yelled, pounding two of the krogan with a biotic volley, before bringing up her shotgun.

"Bosh'tet!" Kal shouted, "Suit rupture!"

"Retreat, airlock, now!" Shepard ordered, it was their only cover, and her shields were taking a beating, as she tried to weave from side to side.

"Keela, I can't believe this!" Kal kept firing until the airlock door opened again. He and Jack made it to relative safety, just as three of the krogan began to charge.

Shepard assumed it couldn't get any worse - then it did. Suddenly, at least a dozen Asari Commandoes came pouring through the same door the krogan had used. All but one of the charging krogan turned, and as she, Jack and Kal dealt with the one still coming towards them, Shepard realised the Commandoes were taking on the krogan, as well.

"My shield's are down!" Warned Shepard.

"No worries, Captain," came Miranda's voice. "We have you covered," as she, Zaeed, Garrus, Thane, and Ranger exited the Normandy, and lined up in front of her. By the time Shepard had turned to dive for the airlock, however, it was over. All the krogan, and one of the Commandoes, were dead.

"Captain Shepard?" One of the asari approached.

"Kal," Shepard said, "go get medical attention now."

"Ma'am."

Meeting the asari half-way, Shepard said, "Yes, I'm Captain Shepard, what the hell is going on around here?"

"You're lucky we got here in time, Captain. We only just found out about the ambush. Seems some of the krogan discovered one of your friends is on Omega, and deduced you wouldn't be far behind. Professor Solus?"

"Hell, is he ok?"

"As far as we know, but we suspect the clinic may come under attack any moment."

"Jack, Ranger, with me." Shepard said, without looking over her shoulder, as she and the asari began walking towards Omega's main hub. "The rest of you, keep the Normandy safe, and keep an open comm."

"Will do, Shepard." Miranda answered.

"Aria might be able to tell you a little more," the Commando explained. "I don't know what you did to piss off the krogan Captain, but they appear to be out for your blood, and that of your salarian friend."

"Long story," she muttered. "Thanks for covering our asses."

"Pleasure, Captain. We didn't meet but, a couple of us saw you on Thessia, during the war."

"You did? What brings you to Omega?"

"Long story." The asari grinned, "No time now, c'mon."

There was little time to register her surroundings as she jogged toward Afterlife with three of the Commandoes and her team, but Shepard still noted how similar things were. It appeared little had changed since Cerberus attacked Omega. In fact, it was surreal looking around the main street as the group jogged towards Afterlife.

As they passed a queue of people waiting to get into the club, Shepard overheard, "Aww c'mon, lemme in!" She stopped dead for a moment, looking at the elcor bouncer as he stopped the impatient partygoer from passing.

"Shepard?" Queried the Commando.

"Ah," she shook her head, "you have got to be kidding me... It can't be..." But there was no time to find out if this scene, so reminiscent of Shepard's many past visits to Omega, really had the same players, or if it was just coincidence.

They hustled through Afterlife's foyer with its flaming walls, and into the main nightclub. Again, little seemed to have changed from the last time Shepard visited.

"Fuck!" Jack muttered, "Is it just me, or..."  
"It's not just you, Jack," Shepard cut her off.

"Weird."

The Commando lead them to Aria's usual place in the VIP area of the club. As they ascended the stairs, it was clear Aria was in residence and very much in control, as they all heard the Matriarch's voice before they saw her.

"Don't fuck with Aria!"

Shepard stopped short when she reached the top of the steps and saw the krogan Aria was dressing down. When Aria saw Shepard, she dismissed the krogan with a lift of her chin, telling him to, "Fix it, now!" Then she turned to Shepard. "Well, well. I assumed you wouldn't be far behind your little salarian friend."

"Looks like you got this place fixed up ok Aria."

"Yes, mostly. In fact it was pretty quiet around here, until your professor turned up." Aria scowled, before taking her seat, and motioned for Shepard to join her with another chin lift.

Although Shepard sat down, she told Aria, "Maybe we can catch up on the gossip some other time, for now..."

"I agree," Aria interrupted, "for now perhaps you would care to tell me why some of the krogan want to kill you?"

"Only some? Well, that's a step in the right direction, I suppose." Shepard muttered. "I bought the krogan alliance for the war effort in exchange for curing the Genophage."

"But it was a bluff." Aria grinned.

"Not... at the time, but things happened. We still have the cure, but by the time the relay opened, the krogan had... worked things out, and haven't allowed for any negotiation so we can help them. They don't trust anyone, and the few krogan left just want revenge. So, now no one is overly willing to work on distributing the cure." Shepard shook her head. "It's a mess, and one I intend to clean up, but first I need a full team."

"I see. Then I suggest you get on with it. Perhaps we'll talk again. Get to the clinic, Shepard," Aria lifted her chin, "look out for a small group of mercs, mainly vorcha and batarian, working for your krogan friends, and good luck."

Shepard nodded and stood, catching the murderous scowl Aria's krogan bodyguard was giving her. Clearly only Aria's influence had stopped him, and probably some of the other krogans in her employment, from killing her.

With a nod, Shepard said, "Thanks, Aria."

"Hmm... Oh, and Shepard, if you're planning on returning to get drunk sometime, this sofa is unavailable." Aria smirked.

Shepard simply shook her head, there was no time for banter, and left Aria to rejoin the Commandoes waiting on the main floor of the club.

"We'll take it from here," Shepard told them, "thank you for your help."

"Actually, we'd like to help you," said the asari.

"Thanks, but no. This is a big enough mess as it is, I don't want to drag the asari into this."

When Shepard and her team headed off to the clinic, she realised she hadn't asked the Commando's name, and swore under her breath.

The fire fight didn't begin until they were close to Mordin's old clinic, and with the small group of mercs only consisting of one krogan and a handful of vorcha and batarians, it was a pretty short fire fight. Even the damn mech they had was no threat, as Ranger had hacked it within seconds. Now the mech was following Ranger around like an oversized, over-armed, hulking great puppy dog. Jack thought it was hilarious.

Unfortunately, Shepard had failed to consider the two vorcha who had run off early on in the battle, and who she now ran into as she turned the last corner for the clinic.

"Shepard," one hissed as soon as he appeared, both of them aiming guns at her. "You come with us, Shepard. Won't hurt you, no, big reward for usss."

Shepard held up her hand to her team, intending to either talk the vorcha out of using her for a nice ransom reward, or kill them.

She was just about to make a stab at diplomacy, when Ranger warned, "Shepard Captain!" and she looked down the corridor to see the batarian striding quickly towards them, his machine gun raised in one hand. Before she could move, the batarian fired.

"What the shit! What was that?" Joker nearly snapped a bone when his body stiffened in surprise.

"That was gunfire, Jeff." EDI informed, also sitting up in her chair. She looked at Joker with a big grin on her face, "I ambushed you."

"Aww shit." Joker punched a button to shut the game off and flopped back in his chair, defeated.

From between them Kolyat said, "I don't understand why you play this game. Reaper Invasion is far better."

"Hell, no," Joker argued, "I had enough of Reapers with the real ones thank you very much. I don't understand how the Commander can even play Reaper Invasion... Shit." Joker shook his head.

"How long has Shepard been out now?" Kolyat asked, trying to sound casual.

"About eight minutes longer then when you last asked Kolyat," Thane answered, as he leaned casually against the cockpit's doorframe. "Do not worry. She will be fine," he smiled.

"Yeah," Joker grinned. "She's probably forgotten all about us by now and is already at the bar... about to drink something poisonous, or something stupid like that." He chuckled.

"Jeff!" EDI chastised, "Kolyat's sense of unease is already heightened enough, without you teasing him."

"I wasn't teasing. I mean, c'mon, it wouldn't be the first time Shepard has..."

"Jeff!" Turning to Kolyat, EDI smiled, "I can compute for you the chances of Shepard becoming involved in another similar situation that you found her in, just before you boarded the Normandy." Briefly, EDI paused then with a tilt of her head, said, "Oh, it appears the chances are much higher for Shepard than the percentage for anyone else, by a large margin." When Kolyat's eyes widened, EDI explained, "That was a joke," to which Joker cackled heartily.

Pushing himself off the bulkhead, Thane said, "I am going outside to join Garrus and James. I won't be long. Kolyat, please do not worry. Shepard will be fine."

Thane felt sorry for Kolyat, so unused to this kind of military life. He, too, was worried, of course. It was inevitable when you cared about someone so much. But Thane had complete faith in Shepard, her ability to survive, and that she would always return to him alive and well. It was a comforting thought, of course, but also a very strong belief.

As Thane entered the airlock, Joker began lamenting over losing their chance at shore leave on Omega, before perking up when he remembered they had a layover on Kahje to look forward to. Thane grinned at the memory of his Siha's growing jitters the closer they got. He felt a little nervous himself, truth be told, but he was very much looking forward to introducing his friends aboard the Normandy, and of course his Siha, to his family.

As the bodies of both vorcha slumped to the floor, the batarian lowered his gun, now ambling towards the team at a more leisurely pace. "Sorry about the stray fire. Damn hard to fire one of these one handed," he motioned the machine gun. "But I wasn't leaving this baby unattended," he held up the guitar.

"What the fuck is that?" Jack said.

Shepard wanted to rub her eyes at the bizarre sight of a batarian holding up an ancient human instrument. She didn't often see a real guitar. These days most bands used omni-instruments. A batarian with a guitar in one hand, and a gun in the other, which he had used to effectively save her ass, was just, weird.

"Er, it's a guitar, Jack. An acoustic guitar." Shepard explained, still not convinced this was actually what she was seeing.

"So, come on, what gives?" Jack scowled at the stranger. "Who'd you mug for that, then."

"The guitar," scowled the batarian, just as menacingly, "belongs to me. Touch her, and I'll break your neck."

"Fuck, yeah! I'd love to see you try!"

"Her?" Ranger said, "Your musical instrument has a... gender?"

"So, come on," Jack spat, leaning forward with her fists balled, "what's a batarian doing with a guitar from Earth?"

"You humans are all racist!"

"Enough!" Shepard barked, standing between Jack and the batarian, her palms held out as if to break them up. To the batarian, she said, "Look, no offence, but Jack has a point."

Rolling all four of his eyes, the batarian huffed then leaned his gun against a bulkhead so he could hold the guitar in front of him. Both Shepard and Jack's jaws dropped, while Rangers ocular flaps lifted up and down, at the surprisingly melodic sound the batarian made. He plucked and strummed his way through a short demonstration of his expert guitar playing, before muttering, "Satisfied?" and retrieving his gun.

"That was... impressive," admitted Shepard, desperately trying to get her head around what she was seeing and hearing. She found herself wondering, almost seriously, if maybe she had been indoctrinated, after all, and this was the first sign the shit was about to hit the fan.

"Mordin didn't tell you, did he?" Asked the batarian, seemingly rhetorically, "Ah, that would explain it." He looked behind him at the sudden chatter coming out of the clinic, and stepped aside so Shepard could see Mordin approaching.

"Sorry, late," he said breathlessly. "Had to secure clinic, all the data. Shepard," he smiled, taking a deep ponderous breath. "Good to see you, again."

"Yeah, and you Mordin," she shook her old friend by the hand. "We need to get you out of here."

"Hmm, yes, wasn't quite ready to leave right now..."

"Mordin, I will drag you out of here by your damn horn if you don't pack up and be ready to go in five minutes. And make sure your scientist is ready to go, too!"

"Ah, yes," Mordin turned to the batarian and introduced, "Groff, this is your new Captain."

Shepard and Jack's jaws dropped again, Rangers ocular flaps continued to lift and tilt. Groff shook hands with the team, "Assuming you'll have me aboard?"

"Oh, yes," Mordin said, "one of the best scientists in the galaxy, apart from me of course."  
"I've... read the reports," Shepard said, "I'm just surprised a batarian would want to work with me."

"Let's just say I had an unusual upbringing and didn't make a very good batarian."

"Fair enough." Turning to Mordin, she said, "You could have filled me in a bit more Mordin, saved yourself a dangerous trip here."

"Wanted to be here, make sure there were no... misunderstandings."

"Well, you screwed that up," Groff muttered.

"You should have waited in the clinic, as instructed," protested Mordin before turning to Shepard to explain, "Had to be here, had to be me, someone else might have gotten it wrong." Shepard declined to comment and, shaking Groff by the hand again, told him, "Welcome to the team." Then she said, "Ranger, go settle your pet mech into the clinic, they can probably use it."

When she was alone with Jack, she said, "Did all that just happen?" When Jack slapped her across the face, Shepard said, "What the fuck?"

With a shrug, Jack grinned, "Well, you ain't dreaming that's for sure, and there's your proof."

"Ok, next time I'll just pinch myself, but thanks." Shepard frowned at Jack.

"Whatever, you're welcome."

In the four days it took to finally reach Kahje, Groff proved himself to be a real asset to the team. When he wasn't in the lab working on a way to swiftly, and efficiently, spread the cure to the krogan Genophage, he would be in the mess hall, entertaining the crew with his guitar music and, as it transpired, nice singing voice. With the alliance still working on trying to repair diplomatic relations between the krogan and pretty much the rest of the galaxy, especially the salarians, all Shepard had to worry about now was the forthcoming 'family thing' that would put her far out of her comfort zone. The fact they were later than planned didn't help to put Shepard at ease, but she had to make sure Mordin was dropped off in a safe place, with orders to, "Damn well retire, already, and go experiment with seashells," and the promise to visit him soon.

She tugged at the hem of her dress uniform as she made her way up the CIC towards the cockpit, where most of her team had already assembled. Shepard would introduce the team to the Krios family and friends first, before the rest of the crew disembarked for a full two days shore leave. Then they would bid a temporary farewell to Kolyat, at least until they returned in a few weeks to pick him up, and take him back to the Citadel. She knew Thane wanted to stay longer, but despite all the progress the doctors had made with his Kepral's Syndrome, it was still too big of a risk for him to stay in the humid atmosphere. Kahje was a planet which was ninety percent the Encompassing; the hanar name for their vast ocean.

"Hey, Commander," said an excited Joker as soon as she entered the cockpit. "Look at that!" he said, in awe.

She leaned forward to get the best view out of the cockpit window as the Normandy broke through the heavy clouds of Kahje. Before them was one of the many large, domed cities where most of the drell lived.

"Wow, it's beautiful," Shepard breathed. To her left, Kolyat was grinning. To her right, Thane blinked as he looked upon his home again for the first time in nearly fifteen years. A small smile curled at the corners of his lips, but his eyes were liquid as he fought with his emotions. Shepard gave his arm a squeeze, as Joker brought them towards their docking bay.

No one spoke until Joker announced, "The eagle has landed! Just one small step for the Normandy's awesome pilot, one seriously giant leap for its Captain! Who is shitting bricks right about now, eh, Commander?"

Shepard huffed and turned away to go wait by the airlock.

"Well, Shep," Kasumi grinned, a mischievous glint in her hooded eyes, "this is it! Don't be nervous, it'll be great, trust me."

"Honestly," Shepard muttered through gritted teeth, "facing that Maw back on Tuchanka during Grunt's Rite of Passage was less nerve wracking."

Liara giggled, "If you can get on with my father, you can get on with anyone's family!"

"You'll be right, Captain. No worries." Miranda smiled.

James was trying, and failing, not to laugh, "Hell, Lola, if only you could see the look on your face."

"Hmm," Garrus agreed. "I'm not sure I've ever seen you looking this nervous before."

"Fuck off, the lot of you!" Shepard growled.

Jack laughed, "This is so cool!"

"Ignore these bastards," Zaeed slapped her on the shoulder, "Thane's lot are gonna love meeting you, Shepard. You're a big goddamned hero to us, and you will be to them."

Shepard smiled at Zaeed, grateful for the compliment, even though it made her feel even more under pressure.

"Hell, Commander," Joker called from the cockpit, "there's a shit load of drell out there waiting to meet you."

"They are looking forward to meeting all of you," Thane said as he approached to stand by her side.

"I think I'm gonna throw up," Shepard admitted.

"Do not worry, my Siha," Thane said gently, taking her hand. "They will love you as much as I do."

Shepard offered him a small smile, and swallowed hard. She cringed when EDI opened the airlock door. Then she noticed Groff's furrowed brow. "You ok, Groff? Must be a bit weird for you, all this."

"Yeah, you could say that. I mean, why so many names?"

"What?" Shepard still wasn't used to the tangents Groff seemed to so easily go off into, at times.

"You're Captain Shepard, right?"

She smirked, "You only just realised that, Groff?"

This made Thane's smile widen further as he recalled the evening she had said a similar thing to him, the first night he had finally taken her hand, after so many days of longing to.

"Oh I realised this a while back, actually, but what about the rest of this lot?" Groff grumped, playfully. "I mean, Joker still calls you Commander, Kasumi calls you Shep, I've never heard James call you anything but Lola, and Thane often calls you Siha. Everyone else uses a mixture of ma'am, sir, skipper and skip. Oh yeah, and occasionally Captain. It occurs to me, I don't even know your first name."

"Hah, I do," Jack said gleefully. "Maybe I'll tell you later, if you let me have a go on your guitar."

"Seriously, Jack?" Joker teased as he and EDI left the cockpit, "You playing an instrument? Pfff."

"Fuck off, Joker!"

Looking around the group, Groff asked, "And any other names I should know about?"

"Well," Thane smiled down at Shepard, "there is Mrs. Krios."

"Captain Krios," sniggered Kal, from behind his mask.

"Oh, stop it!" Shepard said, in desperation, just wanting to get this damn reunion over and done with.

"Captain Krios?" Pondered Groff, "Sounds like a cartoon character." Everyone laughed, apart from Shepard who put her face into her palm, shaking her head.

All four of Groff's eyes widened as if remembering something and with a grin he said, "Oh guys, you gotta hear this!" he brought up his omni-tool and started playing an Ancient Earth rock song.

Some of the team smiled and tapped their feet, others frowned as they listened to the words until it got to the songs bridge and they all fell against the bulkheads laughing.

"You have got to be kidding me," muttered Shepard. Looking at Kolyat, who was proudly wearing his C-Sec uniform, so his family could have immediate memories of it. He, too, was laughing.

She turned to Thane, who told her, "It is a fitting song."

"Agh!" Shepard rolled her eyes.

Pulling her close, Thane told her, "I want you to know, this is a proud moment for me, to be able to finally introduce my family to a warrior-angel like you."

"Yeah, I love you, too." Shepard smiled over clenched teeth, and took a deep breath.

"Are you ready?" Thane asked.

"Nope."

He chuckled, "Then I am ready enough for both of us to present my beautiful wife."

Shepard offered him a warm smile, and kissed his cheek.

While the airlock cycled, Kolyat, Thane, and Shepard could still hear the song playing on Groff's omni-tool and, annoyingly for Shepard, both men were tapping their feet. There was, however, no time to consider the scarily appropriate lyrics. The Normandy's outer airlock door opened, and Shepard felt suddenly overjoyed by the warm welcome they all received from her new family.

You Know My Name. (Chris Cornell).

If you take a life do you know what you'll give?  
Odds are you won't like what it is  
When the storm arrives would you be seen with me  
By the merciless eyes of deceit?

I've seen angels fall from blinding heights  
But you yourself are nothing so divine  
Just next in line

[Chorus]  
Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you  
The odds will betray you  
And I will replace you  
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfil you  
It longs to kill you  
Are you willing to die?

The coldest blood runs through my veins

**You know my name**

If you come inside things will not be the same  
When you return to the night  
And if you think you've won  
You never saw me change  
The game that we've all been playing

I've seen diamonds cut through harder men  
Than you yourself  
But if you must pretend  
You may meet your end

[Chorus]

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you  
The odds will betray you  
And I will replace you  
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfil you  
It longs to kill you  
Are you willing to die?

The coldest blood runs through my veins

Try to hide your hand  
Forget how to feel  
Forget how to feel

Life is gone with just a spin of the wheel  
Spin of the wheel

[Chorus]  
Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you  
The odds will betray you  
And I will replace you  
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfil you  
It longs to kill you  
Are you willing to die?

The coldest blood runs through my veins  
**You know my name** [Repeat: x7]


End file.
